Practically fleeing, Huo Youqing left the apartment. He vaguely remembered Dai Yuan following him out, though he didn’t call out to him and stopped at the doorway.
Before stepping into the elevator, Huo Youqing turned back once. Due to the position of the lights, Dai Yuan’s body was hidden in the shadows, and in that moment, the pitiful, weak persona he’d shown earlier disappeared. He seemed more like a lurking monster.
It felt as if, with just one misstep, the monster’s tentacles would wrap around its prey, slowly dragging them into its lair.
Suppressing his eerie intuition, Huo Youqing hurried into the elevator.
On his way there, he had noticed the details of the apartment complex. It was in the suburbs, with only one apartment per floor. The landscaping, internal amenities, and the distance between buildings all indicated that it was a high-end place, but strangely, there didn’t seem to be many residents.
—
When his cousin returned home from work, he was surprised to find Huo Youqing sitting on the carpet drinking.
“Youyou?” His cousin walked over quickly, noticing that Huo Youqing seemed to be drunk. His usually pale, almost milky skin was flushed with a deep red. He was sprawled over the coffee table, his dark hair framing his phoenix-shaped eyes, which glistened with a hazy wetness from the alcohol.
“Why did you drink so much? You’ll have a headache tomorrow. Did your boss bully you again?”
His cousin tried to take the beer can from Huo Youqing’s hand, but Huo Youqing, now a drunk mess, tightened his grip and glared at him. “No!” he protested.
Tightly gripping the can, it became slightly crushed, causing beer to spray out and spill onto the drunkard’s pale hand.
His cousin sighed and went to the bathroom to get a towel. He sat down next to Huo Youqing, gently coaxing him while wiping the beer off his hand.
Huo Youqing stared blankly at his cousin’s movements for a long time before abruptly saying, “Cousin, what if I’ve done something really bad?”
His cousin had just finished wiping his hand and was cleaning up the empty beer cans on the table. He was about to respond casually when he suddenly realized something. “Did you… tie up Dai Yuan again?”
Dai Yuan. Again.
Huo Youqing shook his head. Today’s events had hit him hard. His soul, which had lived for 18 years, had no idea that his future self could be so terrifying—trapping someone in the name of love and succeeding at it.
Dai Yuan said he was used to it, meaning he couldn’t leave Huo Youqing, even if he didn’t want to.
No wonder Dai Yuan had been so afraid when he saw him at the concert hall.
“No,” Huo Youqing stammered, hesitating about whether or not to tell his cousin what had happened today. In the end, he chose not to.
Although they were close like brothers, he didn’t want to reveal such a dark side of himself.
Huo Youqing already believed most of what Dai Yuan had told him.
At just 18 years old, he had been living in an ivory tower, suddenly exposed to another bizarre world in which he was the main character. He wished he could hide or that this was all just a bad dream.
He was only 18, but the photos, videos, Dai Yuan’s tattoo, and that house all told him that what Dai Yuan said was true.
Huo Youqing took another sip of beer. He didn’t wait for his cousin to answer his question—he had already made up his mind. What happened before was his fault, and he hoped Dai Yuan could return to normal.
That kind of love wasn’t right.
Having made his decision, Huo Youqing fell asleep without any further burdens on his mind, until the next day when he received a text message from an unfamiliar number.
“Brother, are you okay?”
The moment he read the text, he guessed who had sent it.
He replied, “You shouldn’t be contacting me.”
After a long pause, a reply came: “Sorry, I couldn’t help it. I actually secretly blocked your number and got a new phone, but I’ve been thinking about you nonstop since yesterday. Are you mad at me, brother? I’m sorry. I won’t do it again.”
The words “won’t do it again” made Huo Youqing’s hand tremble slightly.
He saved Dai Yuan’s number in his phone and immediately deleted the text before calling.
As soon as the call connected, he could hear the slightly heavy breathing on the other end, but it quickly quieted.
“Brother,” Dai Yuan called out.
Huo Youqing didn’t even remember how many times he had corrected him, but it was clear that Dai Yuan wasn’t listening. He had no choice but to pretend he hadn’t heard it, ignoring the address, and getting straight to the point: “I’ve made an appointment with a psychologist for you. I’ll send you the time and place later, so make sure you go.”
There was silence on the other end, and Huo Youqing lowered his voice. “Dai Yuan?”
Dai Yuan responded, sounding dejected, then softly asked, “Why do I need to see a doctor? Does this mean you don’t love me anymore?”
“Dai Yuan,” Huo Youqing’s tone became more serious, “the kind of relationship we had before wasn’t right. Love should make both people happy, not be so selfish and narrow… You’re sick right now. In short, I’ve forgotten what happened before, and I hope you can forget it too. I’m willing to make amends, and I promise I won’t do those things again.”
Dai Yuan didn’t seem pleased. Although Huo Youqing wasn’t a psychologist, he had heard terms like Stockholm Syndrome before. He felt responsible for what had happened, so he softened his tone again, “Please, just see a doctor, okay?”
“How will you make amends to me?” The voice coming from the phone caught Huo Youqing off guard. He was stunned for a moment before asking, “Do you want something in return?”
Money?
He didn’t have much money at the moment.
Dai Yuan’s tone became a little more cheerful. “Can you accompany me to see the doctor, brother?”
Huh?
Huo Youqing’s first instinct was to refuse. He didn’t want to interact with Dai Yuan any more than necessary. In fact, he didn’t even want to make this phone call. But yesterday’s events reminded him that it was his actions that had caused Dai Yuan’s unhealthy attachment—he was the root cause.
Fine, he would accompany Dai Yuan to the psychologist just once.
Maybe the psychologist would suggest solo treatment for Dai Yuan or ask another friend to accompany him, at which point he could step away.
“I’ll go with you the first time,” Huo Youqing said firmly. Almost immediately, he heard Dai Yuan laugh on the other end. Despite being an adult, his laugh was as innocent as a child’s. “Great! I’ll behave myself.”
Suddenly, Huo Youqing glanced at his arm. He wasn’t working today, so he was wearing casual clothes, and his exposed forearm was covered in goosebumps. He furrowed his brows, feeling even less inclined to keep talking to Dai Yuan. After a few perfunctory words, he hung up the phone.
On the other end, Dai Yuan laid on the cold floor, repeatedly playing back the recorded conversation. After some time, he began licking his fingers, whispering softly, with the word “food” barely audible.
—
The psychologist Huo Youqing arranged for Dai Yuan was quite well-known, and the appointment was for Wednesday at 3 p.m. He left early that day because the weather was gloomy and rainy. Sitting in the taxi, he sent a message to Dai Yuan: “Have you left yet?”
After waiting for a long time, there was no reply.
Worried that Dai Yuan might have overslept or been held up by something, Huo Youqing decided to call.
No answer.
He could only hope that something hadn’t come up at the last minute. When he arrived at the psychologist’s office at 2:30 p.m., Dai Yuan still hadn’t shown up. After sitting in the empty waiting room for a while, he got up and went to the entrance to wait.
Amidst a smoky drizzle, the entire steel city was shrouded by massive dark clouds, creating a sense of oppression. Huo Youqing stretched his slightly numb legs and stared at a distant puddle, where the reflection of a tree shadow could be seen in the dirty water.
“Brother!”
A voice snapped Huo Youqing out of his trance. He turned to look at the source and saw a young man in a black hoodie, running toward him through the misty rain.
He had seen Dai Yuan’s pale complexion many times before, but today it was even more striking.
Outside of Dai Yuan’s pale figure, everything around became irrelevant, fading into a blurred backdrop. His bangs were soaked by the rain, revealing a wet, pallid face. He rushed over to Huo Youqing, his large amber eyes filled with fear. “Brother, have you been waiting long? I’m sorry I’m late.”
“It’s fine, I haven’t been waiting for long.” Huo Youqing couldn’t help but correct him again, “Don’t call me brother. I’ve told you many times, we don’t have that kind of relationship.”
Dai Yuan’s eyes seemed to droop as he nervously asked, “Then what should I call you?”
“At the company, don’t you call me Huo Youqing? Just call me that.” Huo Youqing didn’t give Dai Yuan a chance to respond and walked toward the automatic glass doors behind him. “Let’s go. It’s about time.”
Dai Yuan wanted Huo Youqing to accompany him to the therapy session, but Huo Youqing refused and waited outside the clinic, bored, flipping through magazines. After about an hour, Dai Yuan came out of the office with red, swollen eyes. Before Huo Youqing could say anything, he was suddenly hugged tightly by Dai Yuan.
Dai Yuan clung to him like a child holding onto a toy, refusing to let go. Huo Youqing tugged a few times but couldn’t break free, frowning as he asked, “What are you doing?”
Finally, Dai Yuan released him. Being taller than Huo Youqing, when he hugged him, it was like holding a doll, a stark contrast to the pitiful and innocent expression on his face.
“I just asked the doctor, and he said that once I’m cured, I won’t be so dependent on you anymore.” Huo Youqing was about to say that was a good thing, but Dai Yuan quickly added, “I was just wondering if the next time I hug you, my feelings will be different from now.”
Huo Youqing paused. “How do you feel now?”
Dai Yuan seemed to drift off for a moment. His amber eyes narrowed slightly, and after a long silence, he softly said two words. Huo Youqing couldn’t hear them clearly and asked again, but Dai Yuan wouldn’t repeat them.
The next day, Huo Youqing returned to being eighteen years old.
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