“I want to keep kissing you. Is that okay?”
—“Youyou, I really don’t want you to go back to the country. I don’t know why, but time seems to fly when I’m with you. Why is the break so short? Will you come back to see me during the next one?”
Hearing this voice, Huo Youqing parted his lips and said, “I will.”
He was too drunk to notice the body holding him suddenly stiffen. After that, everything became harder to distinguish. The taste of alcohol on his tongue was forcefully devoured, and unable to breathe properly, he clenched his fingers, trying to break free from the embrace.
He couldn’t escape, his feet couldn’t even touch the ground.
It felt like he was carried to a chair by the window, and the person who had earlier stopped him from drinking was now feeding him more, one sip after another. With that, Huo Youqing was completely intoxicated, too weak to even struggle anymore.
The person holding him set the bottle aside and kissed him from below, upwards.
A crescent moon hung above the sea, yet it also reflected on the surface, as if it were close enough to be held within reach.
***
He was back in the time when he was eighteen again.
Huo Youqing was getting used to it. He got out of bed to wash up, but when he came out of the bathroom and saw Gong Lang standing at his desk, his expression froze for a moment.
Gong Lang didn’t seem to notice anything unusual and spoke to him as usual, “It’s getting late, hurry up and come eat breakfast.”
One of his roommates heard and joked with a smile, “I’m so jealous. I wish I had someone bringing me food as soon as I woke up.”
Gong Lang glanced at the roommate with a half-smile, and the roommate immediately fell silent. But Qiu Wenfei, who was packing his books, spoke up.
“What’s there to be jealous of? You can’t even decide what to eat every day.”
Gong Lang shifted his gaze to Qiu Wenfei, but since Huo Youqing had already walked over, he didn’t pay him much attention. Instead, he focused on Huo Youqing and softly told him what he had brought for breakfast and where he had bought it from.
After the others left the dorm, Huo Youqing quietly said, “You don’t need to bring me breakfast tomorrow. I can go to the cafeteria myself. You have classes and company matters to deal with, you must be really busy.”
“No matter how busy I am, I have time to take care of you,” Gong Lang said as he pulled over a chair to sit beside him. He watched as Huo Youqing ate, occasionally puffing out his cheeks. Gong Lang held back for a long time but eventually couldn’t help himself.
He always thought he had great self-control, but recent events had made it impossible for him to sit idly by and do nothing. Normally, he would have taken more time to let Huo Youqing slowly adjust to the idea of their relationship shifting from friends to lovers.
But now, he couldn’t wait any longer.
He noticed Huo Youqing’s resistance. If he cared a little less about him, he could restrain himself, and the best way forward would be to maintain the status quo. But he cared too much—he couldn’t stand the thought of Huo Youqing leaving him.
So his methods had become more aggressive.
Huo Youqing instinctively covered his cheek. He didn’t look at Gong Lang, blinking as if to avoid his gaze, and said, “I’m full.”
He stood up, wanting to leave quickly, but Gong Lang followed, grabbing the bag he was about to put on his back. “I’ll send you.”
Huo Youqing abruptly stopped and looked at Gong Lang, who raised an eyebrow as if nothing had happened and smiled, “What’s wrong?” His handsome face still held a smile. “If we don’t go now, you’ll be late.”
It was a full day of classes.
But sitting in the classroom, Huo Youqing couldn’t focus. As each class neared its end, he found himself glancing toward the door, afraid of seeing Gong Lang waiting outside.
Gong Lang’s recent behavior had made him very uncomfortable. He kept doodling with his pen, and by the time he realized what he was doing, the entire page was covered in scribbles.
At noon, Gong Lang showed up right on time outside the classroom.
Huo Youqing glanced at him, then quickly looked away. When he left, his expression was cold, but Gong Lang pretended not to notice, forcefully grabbing Huo Youqing’s wrist and leading him to lunch.
There were many people passing by the teaching building, and a big scene would draw attention. Huo Youqing didn’t want to be the subject of gossip, so after trying to struggle free once, he gave up.
In the afternoon, Huo Youqing used the excuse of going to the bathroom to leave class early. He didn’t go far—he just went off-campus to have dinner alone and took a slow walk back.
He was just trying to get some air, but he didn’t expect to run into Gong Lang on his way back.
From the school gate to the dorm, there was a path he had to take, which had only a few streetlights. Many students had complained about how dark it was, but the school hadn’t fixed it.
Gong Lang stood mostly in the shadows, with half his face illuminated by the dim light, giving him a slightly eerie appearance.
Huo Youqing’s heart skipped a beat. For a moment, he wanted to flee from this place, but then he reconsidered. Gong Lang, standing not far away, had been his childhood friend for many years. There was no reason to be so afraid of him, and Huo Youqing wasn’t someone who shied away from problems.
Running away once or twice was fine, but in the end, you always had to face things.
With this thought, Huo Youqing stepped forward, but as soon as he reached Gong Lang, his shoulder was grabbed. Gong Lang, slightly taller than him, asked, “Where have you been?”
Without waiting for an answer, Gong Lang continued, “Do you know how many times I called you? How many texts I sent? I almost reported you missing.”
Huo Youqing, who had turned off his phone for a brief moment of freedom, noticed the bloodshot eyes in Gong Lang’s gaze as he approached. Hesitating for a second, he admitted, “I took a cab to Mingqi for dinner.”
“Oh, you went for dinner.” Gong Lang’s words fell lightly as he pinned Huo Youqing against a tree, lowering his head slightly. “Why didn’t you tell me you were going? Huh, Youyou? Why aren’t you saying anything? Am I not good to you? Tell me, am I, Gong Lang, not good to you?”
The evening chill had set in, and when Gong Lang’s breath, warm and close, fell on Huo Youqing’s face, he instinctively turned his head away.
This simple act, in this moment, felt like a stab to Gong Lang. He heard Huo Youqing trying to explain, and logically, he should have been pleased—it meant Huo Youqing still cared.
But Gong Lang couldn’t hear any of it.
By the time his mind cleared, he could hear Huo Youqing crying—angry, helpless sobs. Huo Youqing seemed to be pleading with him. Gong Lang froze, as if awakening from a dream, and looked at Huo Youqing’s neck. The once smooth, pale skin was now marred with inappropriate marks.
Gong Lang immediately let go. He watched as Huo Youqing quickly covered his neck and wiped away his tears with the other hand. Huo Youqing’s eyes no longer held cold indifference; instead, they were filled with fear, resentment, and disgust.
Those phoenix-shaped eyes that once always trusted him now looked pitiful, reddened from crying. Gong Lang finally realized how despicable his actions had been. Grabbing Huo Youqing’s hand, he slapped himself with it. Seeing Huo Youqing struggle, Gong Lang resorted to hitting himself.
He showed no mercy in punishing himself. After just a few slaps, his face was swollen. While hitting himself, he kept apologizing, “I’m sorry, I lost my mind. I shouldn’t have gotten angry. I’ll never do this again. Please forgive me, just this once, okay?”
What Gong Lang didn’t realize was that this self-punishment frightened Huo Youqing even more.
His swollen, bloodied face, combined with the intense gaze that never left Huo Youqing, was terrifying.
Huo Youqing’s lips trembled. Without saying anything, he turned and left.
Gong Lang wanted to chase after him, but after a few steps, he realized that doing so would only scare Huo Youqing more, so he stopped.
Huo Youqing didn’t return to the dorm. He wasn’t sure how he looked at the moment, but it was obvious that going back would invite questions. Covering his neck as best he could, he quickly headed toward the campus gate.
Halfway there, he suddenly noticed another shadow following his, long and thin, seemingly belonging to a man.
