Hou Youqing had been confined to his home for over ten days, missing the start of school. His phone had been taken by his uncle, so he had no way of knowing that his classmate Gong Lang had been bombarding his phone with calls because he hadn’t returned to school.
If it weren’t for Gong Lang’s older brother watching over him, Gong Lang would’ve already bought a plane ticket to come looking for him.
It wasn’t just Gong Lang—Hou Youqing’s roommates had also called to check on him, especially one named Qiu Wenfei, who kept messaging him, asking if something had happened and why he was delaying his return.
But Hou Youqing was unaware of all this.
During these days, he noticed his uncle was increasingly overwhelmed. His uncle hadn’t come home from work at a normal hour in a long time. When Hou Youqing occasionally called the office, his uncle was always working overtime, cutting the conversation short each time.
Even his aunt had changed. She had become distracted, even during meals, and she hadn’t been to her music studio in days, instead frequently going to her husband’s office.
Hou Youqing learned all this from the family driver.
These unusual behaviors confirmed his suspicions: the Dai family was deeply resentful of Dai Yuan’s death, and it seemed they had already turned their anger on his aunt and uncle.
That very night, his fears were further confirmed.
Unable to sleep, as had been the case for many nights, Hou Youqing woke up in a fright and couldn’t fall back asleep. He sat curled up on his bed, staring at the moonlight streaming in. After a while, the moonlight seemed to take the shape of Dai Yuan’s pale, lifeless face.
Terrified, he trembled, barely managing to suppress the sound of his chattering teeth.
After a moment, he got out of bed, intending to go downstairs to make himself a cup of warm milk. The housekeeper had said milk could help with sleep.
As he wandered out of his room like a ghost, he noticed a light coming from the crack under his uncle’s study door. He thought, at first, that someone had forgotten to turn it off, but then realized his uncle might still be working. After some thought, he poured a cup of hot water along with his milk, intending to bring it to his uncle.
Standing outside the study, he was about to knock when he heard voices from inside.
“…How much liquid cash do we still have? It can’t all be tied up, can it?”
His uncle’s voice sounded utterly exhausted. “We poured almost everything into the land purchase. Now that the Dai family has unilaterally backed out, our company can’t handle a project of this size… The banks must have caught wind of it, too—they’re all refusing to extend loans. Even the clients who used to work with us won’t return my calls, knowing we’ve offended the Dai family.”
“What are we going to do? Are we…” His aunt couldn’t finish her sentence before breaking into tears.
His uncle tried to comfort her. “It’ll be okay. Worst case, we go back home and run a small business. I make great barbecue; I can set up a stall and support us that way.”
He chuckled bitterly, joking about selling barbecue outside the university, claiming it would surely be profitable.
Hou Youqing heard no more. He returned to his room and sat in silence until dawn. He bit his hands, tears falling silently as he wrestled with guilt, fear, and sorrow, leaving bite marks on all ten fingers. Only after he had chewed them raw did he lower his hands and stand to look out the window at the dim morning light.
His room overlooked the back garden, and even the usually vibrant roses seemed wilted in the gray-blue dawn.
His gaze moved past the roses to the wall at the back of the garden.
No matter what, the person truly responsible for Dai Yuan’s death was him, not his uncle or aunt. If the Dai family wanted revenge, they should take it out on him.
At the very least, he should go apologize to them. If it weren’t for him… if he hadn’t suggested watching the orcas, Dai Yuan wouldn’t have died.
With that thought, Hou Youqing went to wash his face and hands. In the mirror, he saw his pale, gaunt face, his bloodshot eyes, and the dark circles under them. He hadn’t slept well for days, the weight of guilt pressing down on him, almost breaking him.
***
After finishing breakfast, Huo Youqing climbed over the wall. He had been cooped up in his room for a while, and no one in the house would notice he was missing until at least noon.
Dai Yuan had once told him his home address. Despite being aware of the Dai family’s prominence, Huo Youqing was still taken aback when he arrived by taxi.
The Dai family’s mansion sat by a lakeside, with towering palm trees lining both sides of the iron gate like sentries. A road as wide as a highway stretched from the gate to a sprawling mansion with a 20th-century architectural style.
Standing outside the iron gate, Huo Youqing hesitated. Just then, the intricately carved gate swung inward, as if inviting him in. He checked behind him to ensure no car was approaching, then cautiously walked through the gate.
It took Huo Youqing more than ten minutes just to walk from the gate to the mansion. When he finally stood outside the front door, it opened from within before he had a chance to knock.
He had expected to see a housekeeper or someone else from the Dai family, but he was surprised when the person who opened the door was Dai Yixin.
Dai Yixin, tall and imposing, towered over Huo Youqing. His shadow seemed to envelop him. Yet, at this moment, Dai Yixin didn’t look much better than Huo Youqing—his face was as pale as paper.
Huo Youqing instinctively thought that Dai Yixin was grieving for Dai Yuan and immediately lowered his head. “I… I’m sorry, I…”
He didn’t know what else to say. The young man standing before him waited a moment before replying, “Come in.”
Dai Yixin stepped aside, letting Huo Youqing enter. After he closed the door gently, he led him toward the living room.
“What happened to your leg?” Huo Youqing suddenly asked.
Dai Yixin had tried to hide his limp, but it didn’t escape Huo Youqing’s notice. Dai Yixin paused for a moment and glanced back at the young boy he had invited in.
Their faces were so similar.
Seeing Dai Yixin’s face, Huo Youqing couldn’t help but think of Dai Yuan. Tears welled up uncontrollably as guilt and remorse weighed heavily on him, ready to overwhelm him. Lost in his thoughts, he didn’t even notice Dai Yixin approach.
By the time he realized it, Dai Yixin had been staring at him for a long while.
Embarrassed, Huo Youqing quickly wiped his face. “I’m sorry…”
He was so absorbed in his own feelings that he missed the joy hidden in Dai Yixin’s calm gaze.
After taking in every detail of Huo Youqing, Dai Yixin finally averted his eyes. A few seconds later, his gaze returned to Huo Youqing. “I want to talk to you. Could we go to my room?”
Though Huo Youqing found it a bit odd to discuss things in a bedroom, he agreed. Maybe Dai Yixin thought his room offered more privacy for such a conversation.
They took the elevator upstairs together, and Huo Youqing couldn’t help but glance at Dai Yixin’s left leg. It was clear now that Dai Yixin had some sort of injury.
The interior of the Dai family mansion was thoroughly modern. Dai Yixin’s room was huge—at least three or four times the size of Huo Youqing’s. A full wall of glass offered a view of the verdant lake outside.
But Huo Youqing was in no mood to admire the mansion. He had come to apologize, and more importantly, to ask Dai Yixin to spare his aunt and uncle.
As soon as they entered the room, Huo Youqing bowed deeply to Dai Yixin, offering a heartfelt apology.
Dai Yixin was Dai Yuan’s brother, and Huo Youqing owed him an apology.
Huo Youqing didn’t know how many times he had said “I’m sorry,” but in truth, those words did little to ease the burden on his heart.
It was a life lost—a life that could never be brought back, no matter what.
“Older Brother.”
The sudden address left Huo Youqing frozen in place.
It took him a while to lift his head and look at Dai Yixin, slowly realizing that something about him was different today.
Dai Yixin usually dressed more maturely than his age, favoring suits. Dai Yuan, on the other hand, dressed more casually—hoodies, t-shirts, jeans, sweatpants… as laid-back as possible.
Today, however, Dai Yixin wore a white pullover hoodie, with soft bangs hanging over his forehead. With their identical faces, it was as if Dai Yuan had come back to life before him.
Dai Yixin approached, gripping Huo Youqing’s shoulders and helping him stand up. “It’s alright, I forgive you.”
By all rights, Huo Youqing should have felt relieved or at least a little less guilty. But something didn’t feel right. His eyelids trembled as he asked, “Is your father home? I want… I want to see him.”
For the first time, Dai Yixin, who had always been polite to him, refused his request. “You don’t need to see my father, older brother.”
Again, Dai Yixin called him “older brother.”
“You…” Huo Youqing couldn’t hold back. “Why are you calling me older brother?”
After all, Dai Yixin was older than him.
The question made Dai Yixin smile.
It was strange. His brother had just died, yet here he was, smiling as if he were truly happy.
And beneath that smile came words that sent a chill down Huo Youqing’s spine: “Because I am Dai Yuan now.”
Dai Yixin said.
The moment the words left his mouth, Huo Youqing instinctively took a step back, but Dai Yixin still had a firm grip on his shoulders. When Huo Youqing retreated, Dai Yixin followed.
Though Huo Youqing had been worn down by days of sleeplessness and his face looked gaunt, Dai Yixin continued staring at him as though he were gazing at the rarest treasure, the most exquisite rose. He inched closer, his facade dropping, revealing the predator beneath—whether it was a wolf or a serpent was unclear.
As he pulled Huo Youqing into his arms, he eagerly pressed his face against his neck, inhaling deeply. The scent was exactly as he had imagined, sweet and intoxicating.
The next moment, Huo Youqing shoved him away hard.
Terrified, Huo Youqing’s hands trembled as he stammered, “You… you… are you sick?”
“Why would you say that, older brother? I’m perfectly normal,” Dai Yixin said, his expression showing a hint of hurt—an expression often seen on Dai Yuan’s face.
Like when Huo Youqing refused to go fishing with him or refused to dance at a party… Dai Yuan often had that same look.
Huo Youqing realized that he shouldn’t stay any longer. He thought that perhaps Dai Yixin had temporarily lost his sanity because of his brother’s death.
Hurriedly, he muttered, “Sorry, I need to go home now,” and tried to leave. But before he even reached the door, he was embraced.
Dai Yixin was significantly taller than him, and the overwhelming sense of pressure from the embrace immediately engulfed Huo Youqing. His legs weakened for a moment, and then he stiffened as he watched Dai Yixin act childishly.
Yes, Dai Yixin was acting cute toward him.
Clearly, this tall young man wasn’t used to being playful like this; he wasn’t as natural at it as his brother. Yet, stubbornly, Dai Yixin rubbed his face against Huo Youqing’s neck.
After a few rubs, he pulled something out of his pocket.
It was an ID card.
He held it up for Huo Youqing to see, his amber eyes unusually bright, filled with various emotions—everything except the grief of losing his brother.
The ID had a photo, name, and date of birth printed on it.
The face in the photo was the same as the two brothers shared, the name was Dai Yuan, and the birth date showed he was 20 years old.
“I am Dai Yuan,” Dai Yixin stated clearly.
As he said this, he boldly brushed his lips against the cheek he had longed for, trembling slightly as they touched.
It was excitement, joy—an obsessive love emerging from deep within.
I forgive you for falling for someone else, for not noticing me at first glance, for not realizing I declared my love a long time ago. None of that matters now. When I become Dai Yuan, you will love me, won’t you?
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