The carriage stopped in front of the sleeping palace. Even after more than half an incense stick’s time, the emperor didn’t disembark. When he finally did, his face was dark as he flung his sleeves and strode into the inner hall.
The emperor’s features were sharply defined; when displeased, his black eyes were terrifying, and the oppressive air between his brows made anyone nearby tremble.
Xiao Yun threw himself onto the couch, tugged open his collar in frustration to cool off, rested his head on the back of one hand, stretched his long legs, and stared at the ceiling beams above.
After venting, his emotions began to settle, and reason gradually returned.
Xiao Yun suddenly slapped his forehead.
D*mn it, what the h*ll was that?
What does Xie Caiqing have to do with anything?
How many times has this happened already? Isn’t it enough?
Getting aroused over a handkerchief—how pathetic are you, Xiao Yun?
I have the entire nation’s beauties waiting for my favor, and I’m reduced to this? Just self-service? Only self-service?
Xiao Yun’s face twisted in disbelief.
What the h*ll is wrong with me?
No. This can’t go on.
That restless, foreign heat still surged through his blood, clearly not yet satisfied. He couldn’t let his mind wander any further.
The emperor looked down and suddenly let out a cold laugh.
Fine. You’re picky. You refuse to change. Determined to die hanging from one tree? Well, I can change.
The emperor suddenly stood up, went to the desk, grabbed a sheet of xuan paper, folded it in half and opened it, dipped his wolf-hair brush in the dry inkstone, and began to write.
The title: “Can Xiao Yun Dally with Xie Caiqing?”
He wrote “Cannot” at the top left and “Can” at the top right.
Starting on the left:
“Why can’t Xiao Yun dally with Xie Caiqing?”
- Xie Caiqing has no interest in Xiao Yun and sees him as a gentleman. Xiao Yun sees himself as the ruler of the nation, can’t handle the loss of face, dislikes throwing himself at someone cold, and wants to leave a noble, dignified impression in Xie Caiqing’s heart. Summary: reputation issue.
- Xie Caiqing is kind to Xiao Yun, wholly devoted to the country, and still too young—not yet of age. Summary: Moral issue.
- Xie Caiqing likes women. Summary: Xiao Yun is a man.
The more Xiao Yun wrote, the harder he pressed—until the brush almost tore the paper and ink seeped onto the desk.
So many reasons why not.
Xiao Yun looked baffled.
After thinking for a while and unable to come up with more, he finally looked to the right.
“Why can Xiao Yun dally with Xie Caiqing?”
After pulling at his hair for a while, he finally managed to write:
- Xiao Yun wants to.
He sat there, squeezing his brain for any justification, but came up empty. He stood, pen in hand, pacing back and forth—mind blank.
Eventually, he slumped back into the grand chair, tossed the brush aside, picked up the paper, and stared up at the densely written “Cannot” side and the single, boldly written “Xiao Yun wants to” on the right.
His face darkened completely.
He took a deep breath, resisting the urge to crumple the paper. Instead, he tore off the right side, leaving only the “Cannot” section, then started a new line:
“What must Xiao Yun do to be able to dally with Xie Caiqing?”
“First, regarding the issue of face, Xiao Yun can shift his mindset. Xiao Yun is the emperor—yet he can’t even win over a top scholar and has to rely on himself? That’s even more humiliating than being snubbed while trying to save face.”
Xiao Yun’s smile deepened—yes, yes, this was exactly right.
“Xie Caiqing reveres Xiao Yun as a gentleman, an emperor, a life-saving benefactor—an admirable image, no doubt. But Xiao Yun can completely conquer him in bed, give him everything he wants, shelter him from wind and rain, protect him, and reshape a taller, more charismatic, utterly dependable image of a man in his heart.”
Xiao Yun slapped his thigh—this was too right! Why hadn’t he thought of this before? Clearly, emotions had clouded his judgment. He’d been stuck in the present and failed to see the possibilities ahead.
With the matter of face resolved, Xiao Yun moved on, thoughts flowing freely, and his brush sped across the page.
“Second, regarding the issue of morality—Xie Caiqing treats Xiao Yun well, so Xiao Yun should cherish and pamper him even more. By avoiding and cold-shouldering him now, Xiao Yun only leaves him gloomy and lonely. If Xiao Yun were truly a moral person, he should never repay kindness with resentment.”
“Xie Caiqing devotes himself to the country. Xiao Yun is the emperor, the foremost man of Ning Country. Xie Caiqing’s devotion to the country is, in fact, devotion to Xiao Yun. If he is to serve the nation, the first person he should serve is Xiao Yun. If he truly loves his country, then he should be happy to satisfy Xiao Yun’s desires. Otherwise, his patriotism is incomplete.”
Xiao Yun thought to himself how foolish he’d been—completely missing the bigger picture. He kept writing: “Xie Caiqing is too young and not yet of age. First of all, he’s not that young—he’s already eighteen. Girls come of age at sixteen, and many eighteen-year-olds are already mothers.”
“Secondly, although Xie Caiqing has not yet undergone the crown ceremony, the emperor decides at what age men are crowned. Xiao Yun’s grandfather, due to low population, encouraged early marriages—boys could be crowned and marry at sixteen, girls could come of age and wed at fourteen. This proves that if Xiao Yun says Xie Caiqing is of age, then he is. So, in Xiao Yun’s eyes, Xie Caiqing has already come of age.”
Xiao Yun grinned at his own brilliance, then looked at the last point and casually wrote: “Third, Xie Caiqing likes women. First of all, he has no sexual experience—how does he know he likes women? Maybe he actually likes men but has never considered the possibility due to societal norms.”
“In addition, Xiao Yun outshines women in every way—he is incredibly handsome, tall and strong, and can give Xie Caiqing incomparable pleasure in bed. Xiao Yun’s merits are too many to list.”
“Finally, even if Xie Caiqing does like women, Xiao Yun is magnanimous—it won’t stop him from marrying and having children. Each gets what they want, mutually beneficial. Why not?”
After writing the final character, Xiao Yun threw down his brush, a wave of frustration swept away, leaving his body and spirit feeling better than ever.
The bird hanging from the beam shook its head and sang, “His Majesty is wise and mighty, his glory eternal!”
Xiao Yun strode over, beaming, “You think so too?!”
“His Majesty is wise and mighty, his glory eternal!“ His Majesty is wise and mighty, his achievements will last a thousand autumns!”
Xiao Yun laughed, “Great minds think alike! Come, I reward you with some grain. I declare your favor restored!”
“His Majesty is wise and mighty, his glory eternal!”
He scattered a handful of grain, then walked over to the candle, paper in hand, preparing to burn it. Just then, Xie Zhe entered with a group of imperial physicians.
With lightning speed, Xiao Yun grabbed a small box from the shelf used for writing the names of the dead, stuffed the paper inside, pressed it down hard, and sealed the box shut.
After the imperial physicians confirmed the emperor’s health and left, Xie Zhe remained, standing in place.
Xiao Yun, who’d known him for years and understood his mannerisms, said grumpily, “Just spit it out.”
Xie Zhe hesitated, then asked softly, “Does Your Majesty wish to transfer Xie Caiqing to a provincial post?”
Xiao Yun frowned sharply, “Why?”
Xie Zhe sighed, “This subject heard from his attendants that he’s been gloomy lately. He’s introverted by nature—others may talk things through and move on quickly, but he tends to bottle things up. He’s young and might not handle it well. The other scholars at the Hanlin Academy don’t think much of him. One can imagine how hard his days must be.”
“Your Majesty doesn’t like him and doesn’t want to see him. You were especially annoyed when you saw him the past few days, and today you even stormed off. This subject thought perhaps it’d be better to give him a good provincial assignment, let him gain experience—”
“Who said I don’t like him?” Xiao Yun cut him off.
Xie Zhe was baffled. “But Your Majesty just yesterday returned from the Imperial Stables cursing him as a ‘little wretch’.”
“…” A long silence. Xiao Yun smiled calmly and said, “Have I ever called you a little wretch?”
“…No.”
“Scolding means love. I love him.”
Xie Zhe looked up sharply, face full of disbelief. “Your Majesty…?”
Thinking of how Xie Caiqing was already his bedmate, Xiao Yun smiled, “I think everything about him is good—quiet and gentle, nothing like those brute generals who only know how to fight. He writes memorials that make me happy, handles affairs reliably, and is as beautiful as a luminous night pearl. He’s clean and meticulous, and the handkerchiefs he gives me are more delicate than any girl’s. He even made me soup—it was his first time cooking, and it tasted amazing. One day I’ll have him make some for you to try…”
“…,” Xie Zhe looked at the beaming emperor with a strange expression.
Xiao Yun found even himself surprised. Xie Caiqing had so many virtues—how had he not noticed before?
He could make sachets, dress impeccably, and had great taste in fashion—taking him out in public was a great boost to status.
He was truly perfect for sleeping with.
Xiao Yun sobered a little.
Of course, Xie Caiqing still had many flaws.
He was poor—Xiao Yun was rich enough to rival a nation. He held a low rank—Xiao Yun was emperor and could bestow any rank. He was innocent and naive—Xiao Yun was cunning and experienced. He was frail—Xiao Yun was strong. He was delicate and couldn’t do anything right—even milking a mare got him squirted in the face—while Xiao Yun could do everything.
“Looking at him this way, he lacks nothing—except me. His one shortcoming exists solely so I can be the one to complete him.”
“It’s like we were made for each other. I must be his fated one.”
“Even his waist seems tailored for me—one arm around him fits just right.”
“So it was all predestined after all. All those little signs, and I was too muddled to see them.”
