After Scheming Against the Enemy Nation’s Emperor, I Got Pregnant Chapter 50

Xie Caiqing snapped the memorial shut.

“This memorial… Your Majesty… perhaps it’s best if you read this one yourself. I shall read the next—”

“Read it,” Xiao Yun said lazily. “I don’t like looking at text.”

“Your Majesty—”

“Just read. I’m not that quick to anger. Even if the memorial is full of outrageous blasphemy, I won’t take it out on the reader.”

“Your Majesty…”

“What on earth is written that makes the top scholar unwilling to read it? Shall I take a look together with you?” Xiao Yun frowned and made as if to walk over.

Xie Caiqing’s face was scarlet. “…This minister—this minister will read it. No need for Your Majesty to come.”

He glanced around the hall and said softly, “May Your Majesty dismiss the attendants?”

Xiao Yun was delighted to oblige, waving his hand to send the servants away. He leaned lazily against the window, ready to listen with interest.

Xie Caiqing stiffly opened the memorial again, suppressing his shame and anger. He silently cursed the vulgar scoundrel who wrote it, skimming over the contents with mortification.

“Top scholar?” Xiao Yun prompted, barely hiding his amusement.

Xie Caiqing took a deep breath, his cheeks burning even hotter. He forced himself to read aloud, voice trembling: “Recently this humble servant has often… stolen away with women, and has come to certain insights which I wish to share with Your Majesty.”

Xiao Yun froze for a moment, barely keeping from laughing aloud. His expression remained unchanged: “Continue.”

Xie Caiqing read, “Your Majesty is twenty-four, strong and vigorous, full of energy. When it comes to the affairs of the inner palace, one should act within one’s means. If the foundation is solid, all things are possible—even women who belong to others. But if not, then it is best not to desire another man’s wife. Should her husband be more… endowed, compatibility becomes difficult and no pleasure is found. The woman, too, feels contempt and it wounds a man’s pride.”

Xiao Yun nearly burst from holding back his laughter. This old rogue really has no shame.

“The vulgarity in this memorial is only so that Your Majesty may avoid the base habits of the capital,” Xie Caiqing continued stiffly. “It is best to choose a good concubine. Though a virgin may be dull, one can open the way oneself. The path deep and broad, matched precisely to oneself—this is the ultimate joy of life…”

Xie Caiqing’s eyes were nearly red with embarrassment, his teeth chattering with suppressed rage.

Filthy! Shameless beyond measure!

If this degenerate official had been his brother, he would have already dragged him out and had him executed.

Birds of a feather, he thought bitterly. Only a scoundrel like Xiao Yun could foster such a debauched subject.

Xiao Yun watched Xie Caiqing, his perfect, unsullied features tinted with humiliation, his throat bobbing slightly.

Open the way…?

He didn’t stop him. Instead, he listened as if he were at a solemn lecture. Xie Caiqing had no choice but to go on: “A virgin knows nothing of other men. Her ignorance ensures her husband’s pride remains intact.”

“And besides, a married woman cannot become a virgin, but a virgin can become a married woman. At first she may be indifferent, but after much guidance and instruction, the experience becomes… exquisitely delightful.”

Xiao Yun’s hand paused.

Guidance and instruction?

He glanced over the blushing scholar who was reading this with such embarrassment and found himself deeply amused.

A blank sheet of paper, he thought. How entertaining. Full of challenge.

How could he miss out on such a delightful game?

Using power and status to win people over was meaningless—such people never gave themselves completely.

But to conquer someone in that most private of battlegrounds, utterly and entirely, so that even if they followed another in the future, they would never forget you?

That was the true imperial sport.

He was an emperor. If he was going to play, he had to master it. Outshine all others. Otherwise, how humiliating would it be if the eunuchs recorded this sort of thing in the court logs for posterity?

Xiao Yun licked his lips, suppressing a growing urge, and said calmly, “Continue.”

Xie Caiqing continued, “As for how to choose a good concubine, this servant also has some thoughts.”

“The skin should be fair with a rosy hue, soft and delicate in texture. Dull or dark tones suggest cold or damp humors—unfavorable for bearing children. Coarse skin often means poor birth or laziness. A good temperament should be gentle and virtuous, not prone to jealousy or contention. ‘A harmonious home brings prosperity’—if the inner palace is at peace, the outer court can be without concern. A calm heart aids the fetus’s development,” Xie Caiqing took another breath, “A quiet nature is best for raising children—they are more likely to grow into great talents…”

Xiao Yun finally couldn’t hold back his laughter. “What nonsense. By that logic, wouldn’t the top scholar make an excellent mother?”

Xie Caiqing flushed a deep crimson, gritting his teeth. “Your Majesty mocks me too much… I am not a woman—I cannot bear children.”

“True enough,” Xiao Yun said lazily. “But if the top scholar were a woman, I suspect the line of suitors would stretch from the palace all the way to the east gate.”

“Your Majesty…”

Xiao Yun looked at him with a teasing smile. “If you were a woman, I wouldn’t let anyone else have you. I’d have brought you into my harem for my own pleasure long ago.”

Xie Caiqing’s eyes widened. He clearly hadn’t expected such a brazen remark. Flustered and overwhelmed, he wanted nothing more than to disappear into the floor. “Your Majesty, please don’t tease me like this… I… I will take my leave…”

“Why are you so easy to fluster?” Xiao Yun stepped closer and plucked the memorial from his hands. “With skin this thin, you’ll need to toughen up. You’re one of mine now—can’t have you getting bullied and shaming me. I tease you, and you just get shy and angry? Don’t you know how to tease me back?”

By candlelight, Xiao Yun’s handsome, roguish face gleamed with a wicked charm. His teasing gaze lingered, and the lazy tone of his voice made one’s heart race.

Xie Caiqing silently cursed him for a shameless scoundrel, ears drooping like a frightened rabbit. “Your Majesty, what sort of reasoning is that…”

“We’re both men. No need to be so stiff,” Xiao Yun said with perfect composure. “You’re making me feel awkward now. I’m like this with the commander too—just yesterday I joked about whether he wanted to be my empress.”

Xie Caiqing let out a breath of relief. “It was petty of this humble official. I shall first—”

“What’s the rush?” Xiao Yun yanked him back, flipped open a memorial, and said with a grin, “Come, come, come. The top scholar shall review this with me.”

After a pause, and seeing the horrified expression on the scholar’s face, he added calmly, “I often go over these with the Commander too.”

The scholar, seemingly afraid of dampening His Majesty’s mood, was too embarrassed to leave now. He turned his face away, gently prying the warm, strong hand on his wrist with soft fingers. “Your Majesty, don’t… don’t do this…”

Xiao Yun asked in confusion, “You’re already a grown man, and you’ve never seen it?”

Xie Caiqing said, “This humble official… truly has not.”

“Not even once?” Xiao Yun’s tone was incredulous.

Xie Caiqing was inwardly furious with embarrassment. What kind of tone was that? Not looking was proper! Only lechers would look at such things—dragging others in to look too!

“…Never.”

Xiao Yun thought to himself how Xie Caiqing was even more prudish than Jiang Huaiyi next door. He chuckled lazily. “Then you must look. Come now, it was drawn by Qian Sisheng, the only one of its kind. A few days ago, some courtiers were even proposing matches for the top scholar. We thought you were still young and held off for the moment, but you’ll need to learn eventually—otherwise, how will you handle wives and concubines in the future?”

“…Your Majesty!”

Held by the wrist, Xie Caiqing had no choice but to stand obediently before him. Xiao Yun leaned in, his head peeking past his neck, arm curling around his waist to hold up the book. Being half a head taller and broader, Xiao Yun looked from behind like he was embracing him as they looked together.

The album was practically under his nose, and he couldn’t move. He had no choice but to lower his head and shut his eyes.

“Open them,” Xiao Yun said with a chuckle in his ear. “Last time a courtier dropped his pants, you still covered your eyes. They’re still teasing you, calling you a blushing maiden. Time to practice properly, or next time you’ll see something again and act so shy people will think our top scholar likes men.”

Xie Caiqing resisted feebly. “Your Majesty…”

“Be good.”

As Xiao Yun spoke, his breath brushed against the side of his neck, turning the skin there faintly red.

Xiao Yun’s eyes darkened.

At the tip of his nose, the scent of the two of them intertwined—entangled and harmonious, stirring the heart unconsciously.

The lashes of the young man before him trembled, and slowly, he opened his eyes. Blushing deeply, he met the myriad obscene and peculiar illustrations in the album.

Xiao Yun: “Well, Top Scholar, what do you think?”

“…”

“I don’t think it’s great—too flashy, exhausting, like acrobatics.”

“…”

“This page, then?”

“My dear subject? Speak. It’s boring to look alone.”

“My dear subject?”

“…It’s… acceptable.”

“Acceptable? Do you like it?”

“…”

“Not answering means you like it?”

“…No, I don’t.”

“And this one? Do you like this?”

“I don’t.”

“Really? I quite like it. It’s wild, yes, but strangely pleasing to the eye.”

“…”

…

“You don’t like any of them? Then what do you like?”
“…”

“You prefer something gentler?” Xiao Yun’s lips were nearly touching Xie Caiqing’s ear now, voice low and slow. “Or… a bit rougher?”