Chapter 83
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He—
Could it be that he’s pretending to sleep?
Chu Xie’s heart startled, and he quickly denied, “What blade.”
A light laugh came from above, but there was no sign of anger, “Chu Xie, don’t play dumb with me. Where’s the blade?”
“What are you talking about…”
Chu Xie turned his head with an impatient look, but saw Jiang Yanchi fiddling with the torn fabric on his chest.
Seeing Chu Xie’s gaze somewhat frozen, Jiang Yanchi pulled him closer. His right hand supported the back of his head, and the other hand groped under his pillow. Chu Xie’s face was almost against his neck, and the voice was close to his ear, “Don’t hide blade on your person, it’s easy to cut yourself.”
With a meaningful smile, he added, “It’s also easy to hurt others. Look, I accidentally cut you a bit.”
He was indeed pretending to be asleep.
And hypocritically saying these things to mock himself.
What does this mean?
Is he mocking himself for not being able to make a move on him at all?
Chu Xie’s restlessness in his chest grew heavier. He pushed the person forcefully, but was grabbed by the wrist, and the person massaged his bruised left hand.
The other hand touched his slightly red eye sockets, and when it touched his eyelashes, he closed his eyes due to the itching sensation.
Jiang Yanchi asked in a low, hoarse voice, “Chu Xie, why are you crying?”
“I’m not.”
Chu Xie furrowed his brows slightly and opened his eyes firmly.
“I’ll ask you again.”
Pressing his head forward, the hand covered his delicate, jade-like cheek with a warm temperature, “When did you start having those feelings for Xu Chunmu.”
Those feelings, which ones?
Chu Xie frowned, “I don’t have any.”
“Heh.”
Jiang Yanchi caressed the lingering dampness on his face, “What’s so good about Xu Chunmu after all.”
No need to ask too specifically, Jiang Yanchi could roughly figure it out.
In the current cruel world of Great Wei, among those in high positions, someone with Xu Chunmu’s simple nature is indeed very rare. For someone like Chu Xie, who grew up in hatred and battles, perhaps that kind of pure thing has a fatal attraction to him.
“Ah Xie, you…”
“Are you looking for a blade?”
Jiang Yanchi was stunned.
Chu Xie didn’t know where he had taken out the thin-as-cicada-wing blade, which was now pressed against his own neck, “Here.”
Xu Chunmu was the pure and flawless white snow, but Chu Xie was the rotten mud in the gutter.
And what about Jiang Fengyu?
Jiang Fengyu is a tree that grew in the mud. It looks lush on the surface, but secretly entangles, penetrates deeply, and draws a bit of hope for survival.
“Power, the throne, I’ve willingly delivered them all to you. Jiang Yanchi, why won’t you let me go? What did I do to offend you…”
A chill spread in Jiang Yanchi’s heart.
“As you wish. As what wish? A wish for death or a wish to fly together with others!”
“You know I don’t have much time left. Use your d*mn brain. How can I fly with others!” Chu Xie’s fingertips holding the blade turned blue, and his chest gradually felt a dull pain. Suddenly, he coughed twice, “It’s always you, always opposing me!”
Jiang Yanchi’s eyes flickered, forcefully suppressing the fierce light. He snatched the blade from Chu Xie’s hand and threw it on the ground. In the struggle, the blade left a shallow wound on his palm.
Fortunately, this time, Chu Xie didn’t cough up blood, just shook his lungs, covered his chest, and gasped for breath. His complexion was a bit more rosy than before.
Jiang Yanchi felt that there was simply no way to deal with this person.
This person is so smart, with a clever mind and decisive methods. To keep such a person, he must be more ruthless, with stronger means, without leaving any loopholes for him to catch.
But he is so fragile.
He can only be carefully protected, and if slightly injured, it seems like he might lose his life in an instant.
Speaking gently to comfort him, he never softens.
Imprisoning him forcefully only makes him raise all his defenses.
“Why do you think I’m opposing you?” Jiang Yanchi frowned, and the mockery in his expression turned into self-deprecation.
“I’m not opposing you. Every time… I’m protecting you.”
“Protecting? No, that’s not right!” Chu Xie, like an angered cat, grabbed Jiang Yanchi’s collar, “You just don’t understand. You always protect me in your own way, but I don’t like your so-called protection at all!”
“Do you know why Xu Yi is against you? Because you are simply a tyrant! For trivial matters, you let foreign forces trample the borders, making life unbearable for the people. You use any means to ascend to the throne, even patricide! For me, if bribery doesn’t work, you resort to coercion! Cough… cough… Jiang Yanchi, how did you become like this? You shouldn’t be this kind of emperor…”
Where’s the protagonist in you now?
You’re practically a major antagonist.
The Xu family, who once supported you, is now against you. The relationships with Zhao Xuan and Qi Sui, who were assisting you, have become indifferent. Even Xu Chunmu, who has been supporting you all along, is now at odds with you.
Why did you turn into this kind of emperor?
The hand that clamped onto himself gradually loosened. Seeing the disappointment in Chu Xie’s eyes, Jiang Yanchi’s eyes turned red, but he was no longer as fierce.
With a snap, a teardrop fell.
“If you want to kill me, is it really because I patricided and seized the throne, or is it because I want to kill Xu Chunmu?”
“It has nothing to do with Xu Chunmu!” Chu Xie now felt a headache just hearing those three words. “Your Majesty, think about what you’ve done in the past year… You are to become an emperor, you should be a wise ruler! How did you become like this…”
Chu Xie saw the young man in front of him with red eyes, tears slowly gathering, pitiful and seemingly filled with grievances and despair.
It looked like a grievance, yet also like despair.
Chu Xie found it hard to watch such a young child lose his way in the struggle for power, and subsequently, commit more mistakes.
He wiped away the tears from Jiang Yanchi’s eyes, sighing deeply.
Jiang Yanchi is different from him. He is the protagonist of this story and has to continue living in this world.
He tried to get up, but his hand was held.
Held tightly, only gripping two or three of his fingers, but stubbornly refusing to let go.
“No… it’s not true, not true, not true!” Jiang Yanchi pinched his fingertips until they hurt. “Why do you… why do you only know about power, struggle, and interests…”
“I killed Jiang Jingan to fulfill your wish. I killed Xu Yi because I thought he killed you… I exterminated the Ningyuan Wang with the Hu army because I thought you were dead and wanted to avenge you for the people you couldn’t kill when you were alive… It’s you, it’s all you, Chu Xie. Everyone can say I’m tyrannical, everyone can criticize me for being wrong. But you can’t!”
“You can’t be so cruel to me.”
Jiang Yanchi hugged Chu Xie tightly. “I like you. If you think I’ve been opposing you all along, it’s because—”
“You’ve been lying to me all along.”
Chu Xie’s pupils suddenly widened.
“You never told me your true intentions and blamed me for not realizing your unspoken wishes… Chu Xie, is there anyone more selfish and hypocritical in this world?!”
Selfish, hypocritical?
Chu Xie’s chest suddenly ached again. He could hardly believe that Jiang Yanchi could say such words.
Infuriated, Chu Xie put on a sinister expression, grabbing Jiang Yanchi’s collar and questioning him, “Jiang Yanchi, is this the first time you’ve known me to be selfish and hypocritical? From the beginning, I’ve never pretended to be a good person. If I were a good person, I’d have died clean in my last life, let alone this life. I’m telling you, I—”
The fire in Jiang Yanchi’s heart flared up again, burning the last bit of tenderness in his heart into ashes.
The voice grew louder, alerting several guards outside the door.
“Your Majesty…”
“Get out! No one is allowed to approach!”
Jiang Yanchi grabbed a shoe under the bed and threw it out of the window, shattering a window pane upon impact.
Outside quickly fell silent again.
“Why do you only treat Xu Chunmu as a good person! You are cruel to everyone in the world, but only show kindness to him. You calculate for him, you retreat step by step for him. Chu Xie, you may not like me, but you also can’t like someone else! If you like him, I’ll kill him! If you have the ability, kill me. If you don’t, Xu Chunmu must die!”
“I told you I don’t like him—”
Swish—
Just as the argument escalated, the door was pushed open slightly with a creak. A long blade flew in, and Jiang Yanchi felt a cold sensation on his back.
He instinctively tried to evade, but Chu Xie was in front of him.
Unable to dodge, in the blink of an eye, he turned around and single-handedly grabbed the hilt. However, due to excessive force, the blade stabbed into his lower abdomen. Blood gushed out, staining the bedspread.
Chu Xie heard the sound of the blade cutting through flesh and a muffled groan.
Then he saw Jiang Yanchi fall onto the bed.
Who, who was outside?
Chu Xie’s expression changed, and he was about to chase outside, but those bloody hands grabbed him. “Ah Xie…”
Seeing the bloody blade and the large warm bloodstain, the smell of blood rushed into his nose and mouth like electricity. Chu Xie’s head buzzed, and countless scenes flashed before his eyes.
“Don’t look at the blood… Ah Xie…”
A trickle of blood overflowed from Jiang Yanchi’s mouth, dripping onto Chu Xie’s wrist like a spark, instantly igniting his soul.
But Chu Xie trembled, distancing himself. Clinging to the last shred of reason, he took a deep breath while leaning against the window, looking at the bright moon outside, his trembling voice weakly calling, “Come, someone, come…”
“Ah Xie…”
“I’ll find the imperial physician for you…”
But with each step, Chu Xie seemed to be stepping on ripples. The candlelight in front of him seemed to be gradually brightening, and everything around him turned from black to white. The sound of an ambulance echoed in his ears, footsteps mingled.
Splash, splash.
He looked down, stepping into a pool of blood.
When he raised his head again, all he saw was the bathroom wall.
Turning his head slowly, Chu Xie saw the nightmarish bathtub and a pale, lifeless arm dangling over the edge.
“Ah Xie, Ah Xie…”
At the call, Chu Xie suddenly raised his gaze.
No, this is… a nightmare, it’s not real.
In another flash, he saw Jiang Yanchi’s face on the bed gradually losing color and his fading eyes.
Shaking his head vigorously, it’s just a dream.
He had to find the court physician, he had to… save Jiang Yanchi.
But there was a voice of resistance in his heart: No, this is the dream.
Everything in Great Wei is fake. Jiang Yanchi is fake, Xu Chunmu is fake, everyone is fake.
The scene shifted back to the bathroom again. Chu Xie looked down at the face reflected in the ripples of blood, a delicate and exquisite face of a thirteen-year-old.
He had to return to reality, he had to save Little Yin.
His mother was already dead. That child must survive.
Otherwise, he would be alone in this world.
“Ah Xie!”
A bloody hand tightly grabbed his wrist, and Chu Xie lowered his head to see Jiang Yanchi standing barefoot. His gaze slowly moved upward.
“Ah Xie, don’t be afraid… Don’t look at the blood, Ah Xie…”
Chu Xie felt a wrenching pain in his chest, and he suddenly collapsed to the ground.
He had to find the court physician; Jiang Yanchi’s lower abdomen… was stabbed by a knife. He would die. But his heart felt like it was clutched by an invisible hand made of that bloody smell, making it impossible to breathe.
That hand pulled him back into the cold bathroom, back into the dark and seemingly hopeless room.
Tap, tap.
It was the sound of a ballpoint pen being pressed down and then snapped back.
“Little Chu, do you have something you like?”
“I like my little sister.”
“Besides her?”
“Nothing else.”
The doctor’s tone remained unchanged, always gentle. “Do you have something you want to do or somewhere you want to go?”
“No, Doctor.” The boy’s voice, still tender, carried a hint of a smile. “Do you have anything else to do? I have work in the afternoon; I need to earn more money.”
“Do you find it hard?”
“Not at all. As long as she’s alive, I’m not working hard.”
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