Awkward Chapter 100

Shoutout to nyanmaru for the commission!

Shanghai’s winter was still very cold this year. The air was piercingly cold, and a breath would immediately form a cloud of mist. By night, the temperature had dropped to several degrees below freezing.

After getting out of the car and walking to the house to unlock the door, Yan Chen’s fingers were numb from the cold. He tried many times but couldn’t align the key with the lock.

The winter wind cut into his face like a knife, and the chill seeped into his collar and sleeves, making him shiver uncontrollably.

Unable to bear it any longer, Yan Chen finally decided to knock on the door. 

In the past, the old house’s nanny would have quickly come to open the door for him, but today there was no response. 

Fearing that she hadn’t heard him, he knocked several more times.

The cold winter snow released a chilling aura, turning his cheeks and the bridge of his nose red. After shivering for a while, he vaguely heard footsteps coming from inside. With the click of the door unlocking, bright light and the warmth of the heater greeted him.

Yan Chen didn’t look around much. He simply lowered his head, walked in, changed into indoor shoes, and handed the bag he was carrying to someone nearby. However, the housekeeper didn’t come to take it despite his extended hand.

Yan Chen furrowed his brows slightly and glanced over. Just as he was about to speak, he froze when he saw who was there.

“What are you doing here?” he asked, hesitating.

The man in front of him wore a white down jacket and a light-colored scarf. He was tall, with soft, scattered hair and fair skin, appearing quite refined in the light. After confirming several times, Yan Chen was sure he wasn’t mistaken.

“I came with Chen Mo to wish you a happy new year,” Ye Mu replied calmly, his voice now warm and composed, like the mellow tones of a fine cello, which was pleasant to hear.

Yan Chen fell silent for a moment, lowered his eyelids, and nodded slightly, not saying anything more.

Ye Mu pursed his lips and said, “It’s been a while.”

Yan Chen didn’t respond. His narrow, phoenix-like eyes were cold and deep. He shrugged off his overcoat and hung it on the wall before heading towards the living room.

Ye Mu was accustomed to his indifference and followed him at a measured pace.

In the living room, Chen Mo and Yan Henan were sitting on the sofa chatting. When they saw the two of them arrive, they immediately stopped.

“Ah, I thought it was someone else in the middle of the night. It’s been years; it’s good to see you back.”

Yan Henan sighed deeply, standing up with a hand on his thigh. Seeing his eldest son shake his head, his tone carried a hint of emotion.

Yan Chen’s face was expressionless. He walked over, nodded slightly, and said, “Dad.”

Li Wen glanced at him indifferently. Though he was her own child, her tone was still sharp, “Really, you’ve treated being abroad like home. You’ve been gone for three or four years; if you have the ability, just stay there.”

His father was uncomfortable hearing this and couldn’t help but interject, “What are you saying? It’s good enough that he’s back. No need to complain.”

Li Wen cut him off, “It’s New Year’s Eve, do you think I want this? If he were more reliable, would I be like this?”

She had seen Chen Mo’s achievements over the years, including opening dozens of branch offices, signing a billion-dollar project with American companies, and winning multiple awards for outstanding young entrepreneurs. Even Yan Henan looked at him with new respect, entrusting him with all of the family’s liquid assets.

In contrast, her eldest son had gone abroad for no apparent reason, achieved nothing in his career, and always got drunk whenever she called. It was embarrassing.

Yan Chen looked at her, his gaze distant, “I’ll just have a meal and leave.”

Li Wen had a sharp tongue but was affected by his words. “Alright, no one’s rushing you. Since you haven’t been home for so long, you should stay a few more days.”

Yan Chen remained indifferent, his voice low and emotionless, “No need.”

Yan Henan, seeing his firm stance, couldn’t help but play the mediator. “No need? It’s snowing heavily outside, and the roads are icy. It’s unsafe to drive. You should stay. Chen Mo, you should stay too, and spend the night.”

Chen Mo glanced at Ye Mu. Seeing he had no objections, he said in a deep voice, “Alright then.”

His shoulders were broader than before, and he wore a black sweater, holding Ye Mu’s hand with one hand, exuding a mature and reliable demeanor.

Yan Chen looked at the hands they were holding, still feeling uncomfortable after all these years. He furrowed his brows and was about to refuse when Yan Henan interrupted.

“Then it’s settled. I’ll ask Sister Zhong to prepare two guest rooms. Let’s have dinner now. It’s rare for the family to be together, so let’s enjoy it.”

He patted Yan Chen’s shoulder and gave him a warning look, as if telling him not to cause trouble.

Yan Chen lowered his gaze, remaining silent for a while, and eventually acquiesced.

The New Year’s Eve dinner was quite elaborate, and the housekeeper was overwhelmed, so the dishes weren’t all served until around 6:30. By the time everyone sat down at the table, it was nearly 7 o’clock.

Yan Henan wasn’t very interested in the food. He had a few mouthfuls of rice and looked at Yan Chen, “How’s life abroad?”

Yan Chen’s face was stern as he replied, “It’s alright.”

Yan Henan nodded slightly, choosing his words carefully, “I know I can’t control you, but I hope you can settle down and find someone to stabilize your life.”

Aside from his personal orientation, he still hoped Yan Chen could find emotional stability. It was distressing to see him alone for so long.

Yan Chen’s expression remained indifferent, “I’ll think about it.”

Yan Henan knew he was procrastinating but had no other way to persuade him. “Some things are in the past. Don’t dwell on them.”

He didn’t know the specifics of what had happened before but offered advice from his own experience.

Yan Chen appeared uninterested and simply responded with a brief acknowledgment, remaining silent.

Yan Henan sighed, feeling exhausted and futile, and said to Chen Mo, “Ah, if you have time, try to talk to your elder brother.”

Chen Mo glanced at Yan Chen, pursing his lips without saying a word.

Li Wen sneered, “Talk? He’s been plotting to take over the Yan family’s assets for years. How could he possibly be so kind-hearted?”

Yan Henan was irritated by her sour tone and snapped, “You keep going on and on about money. Aren’t you tired of it?”

Li Wen didn’t back down, “What? I can’t speak the truth?”

Yan Henan shook his head and decided to ignore her, lifting his wine glass for a sip.

Chen Mo was used to this. His handsome profile exuded a carefree attitude as he reached for a crab, carefully picking out the meat and placing it on Ye Mu’s plate.

Ye Mu took a few bites with a knife and fork, then picked up another crab to shell for himself.

Despite the tense atmosphere at the table, the food was surprisingly good.

Watching Ye Mu continue eating, Yan Chen couldn’t help but frown. His narrow, dark eyes were filled with concern as he spoke in a low voice, “Don’t eat too much. You’re allergic to seafood.”

Ye Mu paused, then looked up at him, his eyes wavering slightly.

It was a cold, straightforward comment, seemingly ordinary but oddly out of place in that setting.

Yan Henan, surprised, glanced between the two of them. “What? Do you two know each other?”

The concern in Yan Chen’s voice hinted at something between them.

Ye Mu’s heart tightened slightly, but he didn’t answer.

He didn’t want this family to know too much about his past, thinking it would only make things more complicated.

Yan Chen noticed his discomfort and, after a long silence, slowly said, “Not really. We just shared a dorm in college.”

Yan Henan nodded slightly but still found it strange. “Is that so? You’ve never mentioned it before.”

Yan Chen brushed it off casually, “I must have mentioned it before, but it probably didn’t seem important.”

Seeing his indifferent attitude, Yan Henan didn’t press further and changed the subject, talking about the U.S.-China trade war and Chen Mo’s investment plans for the next year—mostly dull topics.

The meal was generally peaceful but also exhausting. After some fruit and small talk, everyone retired to their rooms.

Yan Chen, still jet-lagged, took a shower but couldn’t sleep. He put on a thick coat and went to the balcony to smoke.

The winter wind was still howling, but it wasn’t as cold after the snow had fallen.

The night was dark and heavy, with all the city lights extinguished, leaving only an endless blackness.

The cigarette in his hand burned down, the embers scorching his fingertips, but he seemed unaware, lost in his thoughts.

“About earlier, I should thank you.”

In the silent night, a familiar voice suddenly cut through the air, breaking the stillness.

Yan Chen turned his head slightly and saw Ye Mu standing a few meters away on the balcony, having quietly emerged from the adjacent room.

“For what?”

Yan Chen’s Adam’s apple moved as his narrow, sharp eyes looked ahead. He casually asked the question.

Ye Mu looked at the snowy night sky and calmly replied, “Thank you for not revealing our past relationship.”

Otherwise, given the situation earlier, it would have led to more trouble and gossip.

Yan Chen stubbed out his cigarette, lit another from his pack, and after a long silence, finally exhaled, “It’s nothing. I just wanted a peaceful New Year.”

Ye Mu leaned on the railing with his elbows, remaining silent.

Yan Chen handed him a lit cigarette. “Keep me company.”

Ye Mu glanced at it indifferently but didn’t refuse, reaching out to take it.

The white smoke curled up, quickly obscuring his features.

The sharp scent of the cigarette lingered in his lungs before he exhaled it slowly, like a gentle stream.

The moonlight softened his tousled hair, giving him a unique, lazy charm that evoked an inexplicable sense of longing.

Yan Chen squinted at him, his voice low, “Have you been doing well these past few years?”

Ye Mu pressed his lips together, “Pretty well, except for the constant arguing.”

Yan Chen stared at him, “Arguing?”

Ye Mu’s eyes held a hint of self-mockery, “Always over trivial things. Earlier this year, I even suspected him of cheating, and we almost got divorced.”

Yan Chen’s thin lips curved slightly as his long fingers flicked the ash from his cigarette, “That sounds like something you’d do—keeping everything to yourself and making yourself suffer.”

Ye Mu lowered his gaze, “Maybe, but it’s not something I can easily change.”

Yan Chen took a drag from his cigarette, his eyes deep as the ocean but also hollow and numb, “If we’d talked things out back then, would it be you and me arguing now?”

Ye Mu remained silent for a moment, then quietly said, “I don’t want to answer hypothetical questions.”

Yan Chen looked out into the distance, his voice hoarse from the cold wind, “What if I insist on an answer?”

Ye Mu looked down at the cigarette in his hand, his throat tightening, “I’d probably still make the same choice.”

Yan Chen smiled bitterly, his tone laced with self-mockery, “I see.”

Ye Mu lowered his eyes slightly, about to say something when a low, restrained voice filled with pressure suddenly interrupted from inside the room.

“Ye Mu, don’t say I didn’t warn you—your five minutes are almost up.”

Before long, Chen Mo stood at the balcony door, holding a blanket with one hand in his pocket, leaning casually against the doorframe, waiting for him.

He looked like a fierce and imposing guard dog that had just been robbed of its food.

Ye Mu felt a bit of a headache. “Let’s call it a day for now. We can continue this conversation when we have more time.”

He turned to Yan Chen and apologized with a slight smile that hinted at both helplessness and a tender affection for someone, then left the balcony.

Yan Chen watched him indifferently, his eyes following Ye Mu’s back as he entered the room and embraced Chen Mo. He watched them kiss, turn off the lights, and eventually fall asleep intertwined.

Through the curtains, he could faintly see Ye Mu nestled against another man’s chest, a look of something resembling happiness on his face.

The snow continued to fall silently in the night, the cold quieting the heart.

He watched him, his long, narrow eyes filled with both determination and loneliness.

Night deepened.

The lights of the city closed their eyes.

When he could no longer be seen, he finally whispered softly to himself.

I love you.

Just as in the past.

Author’s note: (Extra chapter complete)