Awkward Chapter 86

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Chen Mo was taken aback, his heart feeling as if it had been punched, a bitter and indescribable sensation.

He had heard the words “let’s break up” countless times before, but never had they made him feel so painfully pierced as they did now.

For half an hour, he said nothing, just stood there, staring at the man beside him, endlessly.

Ye Mu lowered his eyes without reacting, his brows and features etched with fatigue in the dark night.

The two of them stood on the empty balcony, letting the cold wind blow, both of them silent.

The pitch-black night was like thick ink heavily smeared across the sky, creating a silent, oppressive weight.

After what felt like an eternity, Chen Mo finally moved his lips and spoke first.

“Do whatever you want. I don’t care.”

His voice was low, as if speaking was difficult, but each word was unexpectedly clear.

Ye Mu’s gaze wavered slightly, a wave of bitterness welling up in his chest. He remained silent for a long time before closing his eyes and letting out a deep sigh. “If you agree, then it’s fine. Maybe I should thank you.”

Chen Mo’s eyes reddened, and he clenched his fists tightly, his Adam’s apple bobbing as he asked, “Thank me for what?”

Ye Mu’s eyes were hollow and desolate as he clung to the last shred of his dignity. “Nothing. Being able to end things so simply might be a kind of relief. To be honest, the time I spent with you wasn’t very pleasant.”

When he said those words, it not only denied all the vows and promises they had made over the years but also implied that he never really liked him and that everything before was just a bunch of lies.

Chen Mo was so angry that his chest hurt. He rushed forward, grabbed his collar, and his voice was hoarse, “You b*stard.”

Ye Mu responded with sorrow, “Yes, I’m a b*stard, but I don’t owe you anything.” Even though I was wrong eight years ago, you played me once too, so we don’t owe each other anything.

Chen Mo lowered his voice, “What do you mean you don’t owe me? Don’t you feel any guilt for what happened back then?”

Ye Mu met his gaze, “I apologized.”

Chen Mo’s expression darkened, and he clenched his fist suddenly, “Do you think a simple ‘sorry’ can erase everything?”

Ye Mu looked up at him and said, “What else?”

Chen Mo tightened his grip, his anger simmering, “At the very least, don’t treat our relationship like a game. If being with me was so unbearable, you shouldn’t have forced it from the start.”

Ye Mu stared at him, his eyes heavy, “I treated our relationship like a game? What about you? Can you honestly say you weren’t after something else?”

Chen Mo seemed taken aback by his words, and his actions paused for a moment. “What did you say?”

Ye Mu looked deeply into his eyes and, with pale lips, said, “Stop pretending. I know you only wanted to sleep with me.”

Chen Mo froze, his gaze darkened, and he slowly lowered his eyes without responding. For a moment, it felt like a hand had gripped his throat, making it impossible for him to utter a word.

Seeing his reaction, Ye Mu suddenly laughed, his eyes stinging as he pushed him away, “I should have known. Someone who grew up with a deep-seated aversion and disdain for homosexuality couldn’t possibly fall for a man so easily. That person was right; in the end, you just treated me like a cheap thrill.”

Chen Mo pressed his lips together, his expression heavy, “I admit I had ulterior motives, but I wasn’t that despicable.”

Ye Mu, struggling to hold back his emotions, looked at him with reddened eyes, “Does it make a difference?”

Chen Mo hesitated, opened his mouth, but then closed it again without saying anything.

He didn’t want to keep arguing; it was a dead end.

Just as he couldn’t forgive Ye Mu, Ye Mu wasn’t willing to forgive him either. There was no reason for them to stay together any longer.

The strange silence was unbearable. Ye Mu bit his lip hard, trying to suppress the overwhelming sadness in his chest, and said two words, “Leave. I don’t want to see you again.”

Chen Mo lowered his eyes, “You’ll regret this.”

Ye Mu, however, was more determined and stubborn than ever, “I won’t. Never.” This was the best decision he had ever made.

Chen Mo stood there for a long time, not moving. His bangs hung down, casting a heavy shadow over his profile, making him look desolate.

“I may have started with bad intentions, but everything I said and did afterward was sincere.”

Ye Mu forced himself to keep his eyes open, stopping the tears from falling, “What’s the point of saying that now?”

Chen Mo swallowed, “I’m not trying to make amends. Whenever I think of what happened back then, I still can’t help but hate you. But in the end, I hope you won’t think too badly of me.”

Ye Mu didn’t respond, turning his face away to look outside, wiping his eyes with his hand to clear his blurred vision.

Chen Mo took a deep look at him, took off his coat, and draped it over Ye Mu’s shoulders, then silently turned and walked back into the apartment.

Ye Mu remained unmoved, numbly staring at the night sky, hunched over the railing, continuing to stand on the balcony, letting the cold wind blow.

Behind him, the sound of rustling echoed, accompanied by the sound of suitcase wheels dragging across the floor. He knew Chen Mo was packing his things. Maybe afraid of losing face and breaking down in tears, he stubbornly chose to keep his back turned, refusing to look at him.

Chen Mo expressionlessly opened the closet, folding his clothes one by one and carefully packing them into his suitcase.

After finishing, he went to the bathroom and collected all his personal items.

Ye Mu remained silent, quietly watching the distant lights, his expression filled with loneliness.

Chen Mo moved quickly, packing up all his things in less than half an hour.

Squatting down, he slowly zipped up the suitcase, looked up at the lonely, slender figure of Ye Mu, and forced a smile, “I’m leaving.”

Two simple words, yet they sounded unbearably heavy.

Ye Mu’s heart ached like it was being sliced open, but he gritted his teeth and forced himself to keep his composure, “Take care. I won’t see you off.”

Chen Mo’s lips moved dryly, a sense of indescribable sadness welling up inside him as he slowly walked to the shoe cabinet.

He bent down to change his shoes, instinctively reaching for the keys above but suddenly stopped and put them back.

The bouquet of over twenty roses he bought for Ye Mu still sat in the living room, symbolizing his undying love. What once seemed vibrant and beautiful now looked glaringly harsh, filling him with a strong urge to cry.

Chen Mo stood there, staring blankly at Ye Mu for a while, his eyes reddening.

Are you sure? If I leave, I won’t come back.

For a full hour, he stood motionless at the door.

Say something. Maybe if you say something, I won’t leave.

Chen Mo stood at the entrance of the apartment, his head lowered, his long eyelashes casting a dark shadow over his handsome profile, making him look desolate.

He waited for a long time, until midnight, but Ye Mu never turned to look at him.

As time slowly passed, the young man seemed exhausted. His eyes filled with deep fatigue, he opened the door and silently walked out.

The air felt thick and suffocating, dead silent.

“Bang.”

A soft closing of the door, yet it echoed painfully in his ears.

Ye Mu’s face twisted in pain as he tugged at his lips, weakly leaning against the wall before slowly sinking to the floor. Perhaps because of the cold, he hugged himself tightly, curling up.

Even though it was already February, the winter in Shanghai was still so cold.