Think about it, once, the Empress Dowager had loved Xiao Shuo dearly. Forced by circumstance, she’d secretly sent him out of the palace at age five, publicly claiming he’d been lost. For more than a decade she’d pined and suffered. When Xiao Shuo finally returned, mother and son had seemed sincerely affectionate. Meng Guqing had sensed genuine feeling from the Empress Dowager, perhaps even more affection than she showed the Fifth Prince. She’d always thought it was guilt, longing, the unbreakable tie of blood.
She had admired the Empress Dowager’s endurance and strength, though only from afar. She respected her, treated her with deference, because she was Xiao Shuo’s mother, the only one who could give him that irreplaceable maternal love. Because she loved Xiao Shuo, she treated his mother kindly. And yet?
In all those years missing her own son, the Empress Dowager had secretly raised another boy by her side. It wasn’t entirely wrong, life in the harem could drive anyone mad without something to hold on to. Meng Guqing could understand that she loved the child deeply, perhaps even pouring into him all the feelings she once had for Xiao Shuo. But now that Xiao Shuo was emperor, she could easily have acknowledged the boy openly, even given him the rank of a royal son. So why keep hiding him?
She hid Xiao Shuo’s younger brother from the world, yet showed such an uncertain attitude toward Xiao Shuo’s own child. What was she really planning?
That same dreadful suspicion surged again, making Meng Guqing uneasy. She folded the intelligence report and locked it in a redwood box on her dressing table, then looked out at the darkening sky.
She stood, straightened her robe, and called for Chunyue. “Yesterday the imperial farm sent several baskets of honey peaches and loquats, and one of peach blossom fish. Has any of it gone to the Empress Dowager’s palace?”
“They sent hers first thing this morning, but the Empress Dowager doesn’t like fresh fish. She asked if we had any fried instead, so the kitchen’s preparing them now.”
Meng Guqing nodded. “When they’re done, tell me. I’ll go pay my respects to the Empress Dowager.”
Though Xiao Shuo had asked her to move to Xuanhe Hall, Meng Guqing still preferred Qingliang Hall, visiting the front only occasionally. Lately, she’d been taking her midday naps there, and Chunyue said the Empress Dowager had been sending people daily to summon her, only to be refused each time. Clearly, the Empress Dowager wouldn’t stop until Meng Guqing came.
She didn’t want to keep avoiding her either. As a daughter-in-law, attending to the Empress Dowager was not just filial piety but proper decorum. Avoiding her too obviously would only make people think her arrogant, and even reflect poorly on Xiao Shuo as an unfilial son. She wasn’t about to bear that blame.
When the fish were ready, Meng Guqing set out with her attendants in full procession toward the Empress Dowager’s quarters.
The Empress Dowager, cautious for over a decade, had grown rosy and plump since her son’s ascension. Her eyes, once dim, had recovered much of their sight with treatment. When Meng Guqing entered, they exchanged polite greetings. She had Chunyue present the fried fish to the Empress Dowager’s chief attendant and then helped the older woman walk inside. The Empress Dowager patted her hand fondly.
“I’d long given up hope for these eyes,” she said warmly. “When Shuo’er was gone all those years, I thought I’d never again see his face. Heaven has been kind to let us reunite.”
Once, such words would have moved Meng Guqing to sympathy. Now, she could only stay silent, unsure how to respond. They entered the inner room and sat. When the Empress Dowager’s medicine was brought, Meng Guqing herself helped hold the bowl. The Empress Dowager, pleased by her obedience, felt her irritation of recent days ease a little. After she drank, she motioned for Meng Guqing to sit and, with the air of a loving elder, said kindly: “You and Shuo’er seem happy together. That puts my mind at ease. But you’re both young, and this is your first time with such matters. I live alone and idle, why not move in here with me? I’ll personally watch over you, and only then will I truly be at peace.”
If it had been anyone else, they probably wouldn’t have known how to respond at all, whether to refuse the Empress Dowager’s kind intentions and continue monopolizing the Emperor, or to take the opportunity to curry favor with the most exalted woman of the harem. Meng Guqing, however, was unhurried. “The Empress Dowager’s compassion is something I shouldn’t decline, but if I truly moved in, I’d only trouble you. The imperial physicians already said you must focus on recuperating; if I come to disturb you, what kind of behavior would that be? If Your Majesty truly wishes to care for your daughter-in-law, then this shameless one would like to ask you to bestow a servant girl to attend me.”
Being refused was within expectations. The Empress Dowager Xiao idly toyed with her handkerchief, going along with Meng Guqing’s words. “Oh? What sort of person? Are you short of attendants in your palace?” Her son truly treated this princess from the Wu Dynasty like a precious treasure; anything good, she was always the first to see it. Everyone in the harem knew that Qingliang Hall was the Emperor’s most cherished place.
As a woman herself, she couldn’t help sighing inwardly, how could the difference between women be so vast? But before she could dwell on it, the Empress’s next sentence stabbed her right in the chest.
“I heard that there’s a maid named Mingyue in the Empress Dowager’s palace, clever and quick-witted. If Your Majesty truly worries for me, then please grant her to me. I promise she won’t be mistreated.”
The Empress Dowager’s eyes widened in shock; she grasped the armrest and stared through her blurred vision toward where the Empress stood. Panic surged in her chest. Impossible. She had never let Mingyue serve openly; very few people even knew she existed. The Empress had only been in the palace a short time, how could she possibly know such a secret? Yet if she didn’t know, how could she have asked for Mingyue by name?
The sitting room went utterly silent. Only the faint tendrils of mist rising from the ice basin in the corner made the chill in the air sharper. The Empress Dowager drew a slow breath, steadying herself, and said evenly, “Where did the Empress hear about Mingyue? That girl is only twelve, at a mischievous age, hardly fit to serve. If you truly want someone, I’ll give you one who’s more steady.”
“Actually,” Meng Guqing said mildly, “His Majesty also knows that there’s a Mingyue by Empress Dowager’s side, and that you’re quite fond of her. Since it’s your affection that gives the girl her blessing, surely she’ll live well wherever she is. If the Empress Dowager trusts me, I’ll take her out of the palace and make sure she receives all that she deserves.”
The implication was clear. Meng Guqing knew the Empress Dowager understood, and she hoped the older woman would truly consider it: to publicly acknowledge the child that maid had borne, and grant that prince the dignity and honor due him. As for anything beyond that, she shouldn’t covet it further.
The Empress Dowager stiffened, then glared. “What do you mean by ‘all that he deserves’? If you ask me, what he deserves is this entire realm. Would the Empress be willing to lay down her own wealth and rank and hand over the throne to another?”
At that, Meng Guqing’s heart sank. She had guessed right, the Empress Dowager’s feelings toward the fostered child by her side ran deep. So deep that she hoped Xiao Shuo would never have a child of his own, so that after their deaths, the throne could pass to that one. Understandable, perhaps, the boy had been by her side since birth, the two of them depending on each other for years under the oppression of Empress Wang and her sister. But Xiao Shuo was not an ordinary man; he too was the Empress Dowager’s son, and he had suffered no less than this “Prince Mingyue.”
Seeing that further talk was useless, Meng Guqing rose to take her leave. The Empress Dowager did not stop her, but before she reached the doors, she asked, “You said the Emperor also knows of Mingyue’s existence, then you know who he really is? What does His Majesty plan to do with him?”
Still obsessed with that! Meng Guqing was exasperated, and decided to spite her a little. Pretending ignorance, she said, “Just a palace maid, what identity could there be? If the Empress Dowager is so fond of her, keep her by your side. His Majesty will surely reward her for taking care of you.”
The Empress Dowager of course knew she wasn’t talking about the same person, but could it be the Emperor truly didn’t plan to acknowledge that royal brother? Impossible! Anxious, she wanted to call the Empress back for questioning, but the Empress had already departed, surrounded by her maids.
When news reached Xiao Shuo that the Empress Dowager had been secretly raising an adopted son, he wasn’t surprised. He had always been a man like still water, rarely did anything stir his interest. His master had once said he was born with thin family ties. So even after he learned who his true parents were, he never intended to return to them. Only upon meeting her, did he feel there were few things in this world worthy of her, and the title of “Empress,” barely, was one of them. That was why he returned to vie for the throne.
But being Emperor was hardly enjoyable. Training in martial arts pleased him far more. If the Empress Dowager already had another candidate in mind, he didn’t mind relinquishing the burden and traveling the world with her. What he couldn’t abide was that, while coveting what was his, they also found his wife and child an eyesore.
With Xiao Shuo’s ruthless temperament, the moment that “Mingyue” was exposed, the child’s fate was sealed. But the person beside him wouldn’t allow him to act rashly, saying he must consider the Empress Dowager’s feelings.
That woman hadn’t considered hers! She thought she was the obstacle. Meng Guqing simply couldn’t bring herself to wrong another first. Xiao Shuo could easily have ignored her and eliminated the nuisance, but he didn’t want to upset her, didn’t want a nobody to cause discord between them. So when she suggested she would first sound out the Empress Dowager’s intentions, he reluctantly agreed, but warned her not to stay long. Though the Empress Dowager was his birth mother, he still thought the woman in his arms mattered more. He waited for her at Xuanhe Hall.
Later that evening, his Empress returned. He had grown impatient waiting, ready to question why she’d taken so long, but as soon as she appeared, she was already in his arms, bringing with her a faint fragrance. Instinctively, he held her closer and led her inside. As usual, he wiped her hands and face; when he set the towel down, she caught his hand and covered it again with the warm cloth, lowering her gaze to gently wipe his hands this time, chatting idly as she did. He knew she’d just come from the Empress Dowager’s palace, but since she didn’t bring it up, neither did he.
During dinner, as always, he served her, placing before her the dishes she liked, and insisting she taste his favorites too. Sometimes she didn’t like what he chose, pouting that she wouldn’t eat it, yet she always ended up swallowing it anyway.
Tonight was no different. The kitchen had prepared a new dish; he tasted it and found it decent, so he gave her a bite, already expecting her usual criticism, since the color was rather unappealing and she had refined tastes. But this time, she quietly ate it, and even picked a bite for him, looking at him with a tenderness she didn’t notice herself, as though he were some abandoned little creature deserving of pity.
Xiao Shuo raised an eyebrow, pretending indifference, though inside he was elated. He suppressed a grin through the meal, then strolled with her afterward. She took his hand, stopping now and then to chat, afraid he’d be bored, her sweet words laced with endless patience and affection.
Xiao Shuo had no idea what she’d heard in the Empress Dowager’s palace, but if he’d known that one adopted son could make her act so gentle, he’d have had the Empress Dowager raise one long ago.
Meng Guqing’s heart truly ached for Xiao Shuo. After they discovered the existence of that so-called prince, the Empress Dowager stopped even pretending, summoning Xiao Shuo and asking him to restore the boy’s identity. Word of this quickly reached Chenliu Wang outside the palace, Xiao Shuo’s ailing elder brother, who immediately came to advise their mother not to stir up trouble.
“First, the late Emperor is gone,” he reasoned. “If some ‘posthumous son’ suddenly appears, no one can prove he’s truly the late Emperor’s child. If others seize upon that, it’ll harm not help our family. Second, that child wasn’t even born of the Empress Dowager, he’s a maid’s son. What’s he to us? Why invite trouble for nothing?”
Harsh, perhaps, but true. Meng Guqing completely agreed with Chenliu Wang. Unfortunately, the Empress Dowager, after years of repression, now in supreme power, could no longer bear contradiction, or perhaps her affection for the fostered child ran too deep. She insisted on restoring his status, saying the prince’s mother had died in childbirth, but there were still palace elders who could attest to his parentage, and she’d long since prepared the evidence.
Yet the more she favored Mingyue, the crueler she became toward Xiao Shuo. Even Meng Guqing, watching, felt angry. Thankfully, there was still Chenliu Wang, Xiao Shuo’s elder brother, his strongest supporter, who owed all his current honor and comfort to his younger brother’s rule. Were it not for that clarity, Xiao Shuo would have no trustworthy kin at all, how pitiful would that be? Meng Guqing herself hadn’t realized that the man she once thought a god of slaughter could seem so deserving of tenderness.
In her eyes, unloved by father or mother, wasn’t he a little pitiful? And that cruel man, it seemed, rather enjoyed her pity.
When she and Chenliu Wang grew frustrated with the Empress Dowager’s obstinacy, Xiao Shuo said nothing.
One day, the ailing prince entered the palace again. Meng Guqing saw his pallor and feared he might collapse. But Chenliu Wang insisted, he must persuade their mother; he couldn’t just sit by.
Meng Guqing wanted to ask his wife to persuade him to rest, but the Wangfei instead told her gently, “His Highness has been weak since childhood. No one ever expected anything of him, not his parents, not the court. When the Empress Dowager was oppressed by Empress Wang, he couldn’t help. When his brother fought for the throne, he had no troops to aid him. Even after the enthronement, all he received was a title. For a man of spirit, how could he feel at ease? He wants to do something for his family, for once.”
Meng Guqing suddenly understood. For Chenliu Wang, being needed was also a kind of emotional fulfillment. And since that was so, she could not stop him.
To make his visits easier, she ordered that his sedan chair be allowed to go all the way to Xuanhe Hall, rather than stopping at the palace gates like others. As a result, he began visiting more often.
That day, after entertaining him at Xuanhe Hall, she noticed the gentle prince glancing her way several times as if to speak, but in the end, he left without saying anything.
As she watched him descend the steps, supported by attendants, and board his sedan, Meng Guqing turned to Xiao Shuo and said, “Didn’t it seem like His Highness wanted to say something?”
“Perhaps,” Xiao Shuo replied calmly, his dark eyes flickering with faint light.
Hearing him speak like that, Meng Guqing thought for a moment that he was in low spirits because of Empress Dowager Xiao. She took his hand and gave it a squeeze, smiling. “Don’t be upset. It’s about to get cooler soon, do you like hunting? I heard your royal father has a private lodge just for that. Shall we go take a look?”
Xiao Shuo said bluntly, “He does have a hunting lodge, but the only prey there is beauty. Do you still want to go?”
“Ah, then no. I don’t want to. And you’re not allowed to either.”
She’d vaguely heard that Yuwen Tai had a habit of collecting beautiful women, but because he was wary of the Empress and her sisters, he would find other residences to keep his favorites, and now he even used ‘hunting’ as a cover. Truly, he spared no effort when it came to pleasure.
If only Xiao Shuo also had something he enjoyed playing with, Meng Guqing thought. People who like to play are easier to please, there’s room to flatter them, directions to try. But someone like Xiao Shuo, who seemed uninterested in almost everything, was the hardest of all to please. In truth, though, it wasn’t that he lacked interest; it was that he learned too quickly. Whatever new gadget he took into his hands, he’d grasp its workings in just a few tries. Once the mystery was gone, so was his interest. What, then, could hold his attention for long?
Meng Guqing was still pondering this, mainly because she wanted to distract him from brooding over the Empress Dowager and her adopted son, when she forgot all about Chenliu Wang’s reaction. But Xiao Shuo hadn’t forgotten. After Chenliu Wang left and Meng Guqing went to prepare dinner, one of the covert guards came to report new information.
The evening glow stretched across the palace roofs. The side hall of Xuanhe Hall stood open, the night breeze faintly warm. When Meng Guqing returned, she saw him sitting at the table, head lowered in thought, the focus in his face so beautiful it was almost dangerous. She found herself liking him more the longer she looked. She went over, sat beside him, and brushed her fingers over the space between his brows. “What are you thinking about?”
“What’s for dinner tonight? It’s getting cold, we don’t need to go back to Qingliang Hall this evening, do we?”
He was clearly avoiding the topic. That made Meng Guqing all the more uneasy. They had promised never to hide anything from each other, so whenever he refused to talk, it meant he didn’t want to lie. She wouldn’t let him escape. “Tell me. What is it?”
Xiao Shuo sighed, took her hand, and said with a cool curve of his lips, “Zhaoyang Hall. There’ll be something happening there tomorrow morning. If you hear anything, don’t be afraid.”
Something that could frighten her could only mean one thing, death. Meng Guqing’s expression changed. “Your mother and that Mingyue, what’s going on with them?” Zhaoyang Hall was the Empress Dowager’s residence.
“Nothing yet.”
That meant something would happen, in the morning. And if death was involved at a specific time and place, it wouldn’t be by accident. From the look of it, it was something he planned. She couldn’t help tensing. “What do you mean? Everything was fine, even royal brother said he’d talk to the Empress Dowager, and that she would come around. Why suddenly?”
The faint smile at his mouth disappeared completely. “I just want them to understand what can be touched, and what cannot.”
Meng Guqing fell silent. She’d always known the Empress Dowager didn’t like her. The child in her belly made the woman even more wary, afraid she’d block Mingyue’s path. Meng Guqing had no doubt the Empress Dowager had entertained murderous thoughts toward her. Xiao Shuo had already changed a great deal under her influence, he no longer treated human life like grass. For him to be roused to kill again, there must have been some plot against her and their child. Perhaps the Empress Dowager truly intended to eliminate them both.
Meng Guqing could understand the Empress Dowager’s bias, but not agree with it. Nor could she agree with the retribution Xiao Shuo spoke of. She looked at him seriously. “Xiao Shuo, do you love me and our child?”
He shot her a glance, impatient. “What do you think?”
If his mother wronged her and he was already planning revenge, his feelings for her went far deeper than love. Meng Guqing’s heart softened. She leaned into him, hugging him tightly. “I love you too. And I don’t want you to bear a sin you don’t have to. What are you planning to do about that Mingyue? Let’s not kill him, all right? There are many ways to solve problems besides killing, ways that could even make us untouchable.”
“They want to kill you, and you’re pleading for them?” He really shouldn’t have told her. Better to wait until it was all done, then tell her.
So it was a plot to kill her. The women in the harem were terrifyingly fierce; she would never be able to match them. Meng Guqing shook her head. “I’m not pleading for them. I just care about how you feel. I don’t want you to regret it later.”
“When have you ever seen me regret killing someone?”
“But she’s not just anyone. What if… So let’s not take such an extreme route this time. Listen to me, Chenliu Wang and the entire court already know about this Mingyue. Erasing him completely isn’t possible anymore. Everyone’s watching to see how you’ll respond. If you kill him, do you think anyone outside will have a good word to say about us?”
If he cared about reputation, he wouldn’t be Xiao Shuo. Meng Guqing knew very well he’d always been a little mad, only concerned with his own satisfaction, not other people’s lives. But he was also emperor now; public opinion mattered. She squeezed his hand. “Just this once, please listen to me. I promise I’ll be fine. I know how much you want to protect me, but…” She looked into his eyes and smiled with a gentleness that seemed to glow. “I want to protect you, too.”
I want to protect you, too.
Those words were like soft arrows, piercing right into his heart and blooming there, one after another, tenderly. Xiao Shuo felt as though he’d gone back to the days when he first tested poisons for his masters, his body and mind no longer his own, the world dissolving into haze, and only her smiling eyes remaining real.
In a daze, he nodded.
Having gained his consent, the first thing Meng Guqing did was find a bodyguard about her size, disguise them to look like her, and send them in her place to the Empress Dowager’s “invitation” the next day. She’d planned it all beforehand. Knowing full well the Empress Dowager bore her ill will, why would she walk into danger herself? She had a lover now, and a child, her life was precious.
And it turned out she’d been absolutely right. The next day, when the Empress Dowager summoned the Empress to share lunch, less than fifteen minutes after she entered Zhaoyang Hall, the place was thrown into chaos. According to the Empress Dowager’s plan, the Empress Dowager was supposed to be poisoned, but somehow, things went awry, and it was the Empress herself who collapsed, the poison having affected her pregnancy. By the time she was carried away, she was still dazed, not understanding what had happened.
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