Death Knocks on Hell’s Door Chapter 23

Chapter 23 Seventh Night

[T/N: Seventh Night (of the seventh month) or Qixi, also known as Double Seventh Festival or Chinese Valentine’s Day, is a Chinese festival celebrating the annual meeting of the Cowherd and the Weaver Girl in Chinese mythology.]

Underworld, City of Innocent Deaths.

“Big news, big news!” The long-tongued ghost, who had a reputation for being the most avid gossip in town, hurried through the city gates. Curious ghosts in the streets immediately gathered around.

“What happened? What’s the latest?”

“Has the skin-painting ghost put on a new human disguise and started scamming people again?”

“Or did the perverted ghost from the east side go back to harassing female ghosts?”

“Could it be that the starving ghost has stolen food from the gluttonous ghost’s house again?”

The ghosts chattered excitedly. Life in the underworld was dull, and they relied on these daily gossip sessions to spice things up.

The long-tongued ghost replied, “None of that. Seventh Master and Eighth Master are together now!”

The crowd fell silent for a moment before collectively clicking their tongues and dispersing.

“Did they ever separate? Haven’t they always been together?”

“This counts as news? It’s not new at all.”

“How boring, let’s scatter.”

Seeing that no one was paying attention, the long-tongued ghost hurriedly added, “This time it’s official, the kind aimed at becoming husband and wife. How can it be the same as before?”

The other ghosts sighed in disinterest. “Wasn’t this already expected? Given how close they were before, even real couples couldn’t match their level of intimacy.”

“Ah, envy the mandarin ducks, not the immortals. If we’re going to envy anyone, it should be the Impermanence Immortals.”

News traveled late in the underworld. By this time, a month had already passed since Heibai Wuchang officially announced their relationship.

A month ago, Fan Wujiu had posted a photo of Heibai Wuchang on his Moments. In the picture, each of them held a soul-binding chain, the other end tied around the other’s wrist, their fingers tightly intertwined. The caption read: “In this life, I’m locked to death with the person by my side.”

Xie Bian posted the same picture, but his caption was far more poetic than Fan Wujiu’s: “A pair destined for a lifetime and the next, how to bear the pain of parting into two places?”

The meaning behind this line was that, although two people were destined to spent their lives together, fate separated them, preventing them from being with one another, leaving them in sorrow. This mirrored the love between Xie Bian and Fan Wujiu, bound together from life to death, yet fate never allowed them to be together, causing them to endure millennia of hidden feelings and heartache.

However, the Black and White Impermanence had tied their soul-binding chains to one another, symbolizing their deep connection and the bond that would ensure their souls would only be captured by each other in the afterlife.

Xie Bian had been talented in life, a man of elegance and poetry, and even in death, his confessions of love were filled with romance.

As soon as the two posts went live, they were met with a flood of congratulations from the gods and even more messages from their colleagues in the underworld, all queuing up to send their well wishes.

Granny Meng: Finally, the official announcement! Just the other day, I was betting with Zhong Kui and Cui Jue on when you’d announce it. I bet within a hundred years, they bet within a thousand. Now they owe me a million underworld coins! Hahahaha! Congrats to you both, and congrats to me for getting rich!

Zhong Kui: Although I lost a million underworld coins because of you, I’ll still say congratulations.

Cui Jue: If you two could be together, I played a part in it. I was like your Old Man Under the Moon this time. Lao Fan, it’s only right that you pay me back the million ghost coins, right?

The Old Man Under the Moon replied to Cui Jue: Why are you stealing my job? [T/N: The Old Man Under the Moon or Yue Lao (月下老人) is a god of marriage and love in Chinese mythology.]

Lu Zhidao: What? You all bet without me? Anyway, congratulations!

Wei Zheng: You didn’t even include me. Congratulations, though.

Fan Wujiu replied to Granny Meng: “……Did you all ask me and Xiao Bai before making a bet?”

Ox-Head: Congratulations, congratulations! When we heard the news, Horse-Face and I were so moved we cried. Finally, we don’t have to keep explaining that not all brotherly bonds are like the one between Heibai Wuchang.

Horse-Face: The little ghosts in the underworld keep calling us plastic brothers, saying our bond isn’t as close as Heibai Wuchang’s. It’s hilarious. Those two aren’t even real brothers!

Fan Wujiu replied to Horse-Face: Sorry about that. You two are the real brothers.

Child-giving Guanyin: Wishing the two Impermanence Immortals a lifetime of happiness and may you soon have a blessed child.

Fan Wujiu replied to the Child-giving Guanyin: “lLady Guanyin, a lifetime of happiness is fine, but there’s no need to wish us a child just yet.

Mazu: Wishing the two of you eternal love and happiness. Please do visit the Southeast Sea often.

Fan Wujiu replied to Mazu: Thank you, Your Majesty. We’ll be sure to visit often.

……

Among the sea of congratulatory comments, the one from King Yan was a real mood killer.

Yanluo: Is this really how you’re using the soul-binding chain?

The soul-binding chain was a divine artifact granted by King Yan to the Black and White Impermanence. Similar to the Judge’s Brush and the Book of Life and Death that Cui Jue had used during his time as a judge, it was something King Yan could reclaim after a career change. The soul-binding chain was supposed to be used for collecting souls, so using it on another impermanence was considered improper and a misuse of the tool.

Fan Wujiu didn’t dare respond to this one. King Yan was his superior. He couldn’t afford to argue.

However, not long after, Cui Jue, Meng Wan, and the others tagged him and Xie Bian in the Underworld Work group chat.

Fan Wujiu clicked on the notification, and he saw that King Yan had sent a designated red envelope in the group, with the note: “Impermanence is hard to last long, but I wish the Impermanence to last long.”

The red envelope was specifically for him and Xie Bian. Fan Wujiu opened it, only to find…… one underworld coin.

The corner of his mouth twitched. King Yan was truly “generous.”

Then there was the lucky one, Xie Bian, who received a staggering 9,999,999 underworld coins.

Fan Wujiu: “……” He was wrong. King Yan was indeed generous. He was just unlucky.

But luckily, Xiao Bai had gotten a good share, so Fan Wujiu wasn’t too bothered.

The group chat erupted with laughter at Fan Wujiu’s misfortune, and once the laughter subsided, Meng Wan couldn’t help but jokingly say, “If we’d known King Yan was this generous, why bother with bets? We should have just scammed him for a fortune!”

Lu Zhidao: King Yan really has a lot of money, huh?

Cui Jue: If I knew how to get that kind of windfall from King Yan, I’d get myself a partner too!

Xie Bian: Thank you, King Yan.

Xie Bian wasn’t just thanking King Yan for the underworld coins. It was also for the blessing he’d given.

In life and death, Xie Bian had always feared one particular Buddhist verse: All love is fleeting and impermanent. Life is full of fears, as fragile as morning dew. From love arises worry, from love arises fear. But if one is free from love, there is no sorrow, no fear.

The impermanence of the world made it hard to hold on to anything. With worry and fear in the heart, it was difficult to let go of love.

Xie Bian and Fan Wujiu were only destined to share a brotherly bond, with no love between them. If not for the interference of the foreign god Cupid, they would have continued to miss each other, and would have missed each other forever.

Yet, King Yan had said, “Impermanence is hard to last long, but I wish the Impermanence to last long.”

King Yan, who controlled the forces of cause and effect, had blessed them in such a way that even the Heavenly Dao had no choice but to acknowledge their union.

There was an old saying in China: “What is destined to be yours will come to you. What is not destined cannot be forced.” But the moment Xie Bian grasped the arrow of love and deliberately let go—

He had altered his fate, bringing his love to life.

In the mortal realm, at the Yanluo Apartments.

Xie Bian sat on the edge of the bed, rubbing his aching wrist.

In the past, the little demons in the neighborhood always lusted after Fan Wujiu’s physique, saying he was wild and seductive, and would surely leave his lover utterly spent in bed.

When Xie Bian heard these rumors, he thought about how Fan Wujiu acted like an innocent, clueless straight guy around him, wondering if these little demons had some serious misconceptions about Lao Hei.

Now, he realized it was actually he who had misunderstood Lao Hei all along.

Perhaps the thousand years of suppressed longing had been too hard to bear. The moment they acknowledged their feelings, both of them were like dry wood catching fire, eager to make up for the lost thousand years of time.

……Anyway, Xie Bian had barely left the bed in the past month.

Immortal time was different from mortal time. Some immortals would enter seclusion for centuries, even millennia, during their cultivation. A month was hardly considered a long period.

But Xie Bian was tired.

As a scholar in his previous life, his physical stamina had never been great. He couldn’t handle such intense activity.

Especially since Fan Wujiu played so wild. Last night, he had used the soul-binding chain to cuff Xie Bian’s wrist to the bedpost, relentlessly demanding to know the exact moment he had come back to his senses after the golden arrow’s influence. When he got the answer, he became even more excited, nearly driving Xie Bian to tears.

Although he did feel pleasure, he was still a bit exhausted.

Xie Bian picked up Fan Wujiu’s phone from the bedside table. The lock screen showed a photo of him sitting with Fan Wujiu at a dessert shop, eating cake. The moment had been captured by Fan Wujiu, and now it was set as the phone’s screensaver.

He smiled softly as he noticed the date displayed: the seventh day of the seventh lunar month, Qixi Festival.

The day when the Cowherd and Weaver Girl meet on the magpie bridge.

Xie Bian put the phone down and called, “Lao Hei.”

Fan Wujiu immediately walked in from the living room, holding a cup of warm water. He handed the water to Xie Bian. “What is it?”

Xie Bian took a few sips of water, then placed the cup on the bedside table. “It’s Qixi today. I want to go out and have some fun.”

“Qixi?” Fan Wujiu paused to think for a moment. “I’ve really lost track of the days recently.”

Qixi was a festival for lovers. How could they not go out and celebrate their first Valentine’s Day together after becoming a couple?

Previously, they had been pretending to be a couple, but now they were truly, undeniably together.

Taking advantage of the early hour, they quickly changed into fresh clothes and headed downstairs, where they encountered Venus, who was watching television in the common living room on the first floor.

Lately, Venus seemed to be avoiding someone. He barely left his room and, when he got too bored of being cooped up, he’d change his spot — moving from watching television in his second-floor room to watching it in the living room downstairs.

Seeing them holding hands as they came down, Venus raised an eyebrow. “Long time no see. Looks like you two have been enjoying yourselves this month.”

The once-green fruit had ripened into a plump berry, and the sweet, heavy scent was so thick it almost made him feel a bit nauseous.

A pair of young lovers, head over heels.

Pure and beautiful love always had the power to soothe even the heart of the God of Love.

“Ahem.” Both of them looked a little awkward, but their hands remained firmly clasped together.

They were in love, and they had nothing to hide. There was no need to avoid anyone’s gaze.

Fan Wujiu said, “We’re going out to celebrate, for Valentine’s Day.”

“I really envy how you two can go out without a care in the world,” Venus remarked. “But isn’t Valentine’s Day on February 14th? It’s already August.”

“That’s the Western Valentine’s Day,” Xie Bi’an explained. “The Eastern Valentine’s Day is on the seventh day of the seventh lunar month.”

“I see.” Venus had learned something new. “I hope you two have fun.”

The streets on Qixi night were especially lively, with couples showing affection everywhere. As Xie Bian and Fan Wujiu passed by the cinema they had visited last time, they saw the place was packed with people.

After all, going to the movies was a classic date choice for many couples.

The moment Fan Wujiu spotted the cinema, his mind immediately went back to their last experience there. He turned to Xie Bian and asked, “Do you remember when we came here last time?”

“I remember,” Xie Bian replied. “You picked a Chinese horror movie, hoping to scare me.”

The word “hoping” perfectly captured how ridiculous Fan Wujiu’s decision had been.

“……” Fan Wujiu awkwardly rubbed his nose. “Well, luckily you played along. You weren’t scared at all, yet you insisted on hiding in my arms.”

“……” Xie Bian was once again left speechless by Fan Wujiu’s lack of emotional intelligence.

Xie Bian: “You can be embarrassed on your own. No need to bring up old stories and make me embarrassed too.”

Fan Wujiu couldn’t help but laugh. “So, should we watch something this time?”

Xie Bian quickened his pace, heading forward. “Not watching, next time.”

They both left the awkward place behind and ended up entering a cozy couples’ restaurant instead.

They booked a private room, a closed environment where no one else would bother them. The dishes were served quickly, each one visually stunning, with perfect color, aroma, and taste.

Although it wasn’t as luxurious as the dishes from the Yanluo Hotel, where the ingredients were infused with spiritual energy, or the gourmet meals prepared by chefs hired by King Yan himself, there was something uniquely flavorful about this mortal restaurant.

Xie Bian, a germaphobe, disliked getting his hands greasy. Fan Wujiu, ever attentive, skillfully began peeling shells for him. He even picked out the sea snail meat with a toothpick, placing each piece carefully into Xie Bian’s bowl.

This wasn’t something Fan Wujiu had only started doing after they became a couple. For a thousand years, Fan Wujiu had always been so meticulous in taking care of Xie Bian. It wasn’t that Xie Bian demanded it, but he preferred not to eat at all than to dirty his hands. Rather than let Xie Bian go hungry, Fan Wujiu always took it upon himself to help. Whenever Xie Bian said it wasn’t necessary, Fan Wujiu would reply, “This is what brothers do.” And somehow, Xie Bian was convinced.

It wasn’t surprising that everyone in the underworld had long since accepted them as a couple. After all, Ox-Head would never peel shrimp shells for Horse-Face.

As Fan Wujiu continued peeling, a delicate hand suddenly reached into the plate and picked up a small shrimp. He froze, turning to see Xie Bian with his head lowered, focused intently on peeling the shell. The red oil immediately stained Xie Bian’s clean fingers. His movements were a bit clumsy, and a few drops of oil splattered, staining his white clothes.

Fan Wujiu quickly said, “Leave it to me, I’ll have it peeled for you in a moment.”

Xie Bian ignored him and continued to struggle with the shell. After some effort, he finally peeled one and placed the shrimp meat into Fan Wujiu’s bowl.

Fan Wujiu blinked in surprise. “For me?”

Xie Bian gave a soft “Mm” and then began working on the second shrimp.

“Love is about caring for each other, not just one-sided giving,” Xie Bian murmured, his eyes lowered. “I can temporarily overcome my germaphobia for you.”

That was the most beautiful love confession Fan Wujiu had ever heard.

……

After leaving the restaurant, Fan Wujiu took Xie Bian’s hand, which had already been washed clean, and couldn’t help but trace a few lines on his palm.

Such a pair of hands, so delicate and unused to touching anything unpleasant, had peeled shrimp shells and picked out sea snails just for him.

Fan Wujiu thought to himself that, even if the meals at Yanluo Hotel were created by master chefs, they couldn’t compare to tonight’s simple but delightful mortal food.

They strolled slowly, passing by a flower shop on the way.

The flower shop was especially busy on Qixi Festival. Fan Wujiu glanced at it, then turned to Xie Bian. “Wait for me for a moment.”

Fan Wujiu thought that he should buy Xie Bian a gift for Qixi.

A bouquet of red roses would do.

It might be a bit cliche, but he had never given flowers before. What other couples had, his Xie Bian should have too.

Red roses symbolized passionate love and true affection, a romantic gesture that lasted forever.

Xie Bian stood waiting, and after a short while, he saw Fan Wujiu emerge from the flower shop, holding a large bouquet of roses. There were exactly ninety-nine roses, symbolizing everlasting love.

Fan Wujiu walked up to him, handed him the bouquet of roses, and smiled. “These are for you. Xiao Bai, happy Qixi, I love you.”

Xie Bian took the roses, lowered his head, and gently kissed the petals. Then, he pressed his fragrant lips to Fan Wujiu’s.

When they returned to the apartment, the night had deepened, but the lights in the living room on the first floor were still on. Venus looked up and greeted them, “Welcome back—oh, those red roses in your arms are beautiful. May I have a look?”

His green eyes shimmered with surprise. He was clearly fond of roses.

Xie Bian placed the red roses on the coffee table and sat down on the sofa. “Of course.”

“Red roses represent passionate love,” Fan Wujiu never missed an opportunity to show off their affection. “This is my Qixi gift for Xiao Bai.”

“I know,” Venus said, admiring the roses, his fingers gently caressing the petals. A trace of nostalgia appeared in his eyes. “The legend of red roses is actually related to me.”

Xie Bian leaned forward, his interest piqued. “I’d like to hear the details.”

Venus: “Then I must start with the tragic and touching love story between me and Adonis.”

Xie Bian: “……”

Fan Wujiu: “……”

Venus spoke with deep emotion, “Adonis was the most handsome man I had ever seen, with the gentlest personality and voice. I could never find a more wonderful lover than him……”

But before he could finish, the doorbell rang.

With a regretful sigh, Venus stopped his story. “Wait a moment, I’ll go answer the door.”

He stood up and walked to the door. The moment he opened it, his smile froze on his face.

A noble and handsome blue-haired god stood before him, his sapphire eyes sparkling with an intensity that suppressed the hidden danger, exuding an air of mystery. The aura of a sea monarch, a born king, was unmistakable in his posture and grace.

He smiled and spoke, “My dear Venus, I’ve found you.”

A/N: The Impermanence arc is complete, and the pure secret love has come to an end. The next arc will be wilder. God of Sea vs. God of Love.

Below are the key content warnings. If this isn’t your cup of tea, don’t force yourself.

1. Mpreg is a given — just look at how big Cupid is. There might even be a second child. In the original mythology, the God of Sea and the God of Love actually do have a child together, and they are indeed one of each other’s lovers. (I randomly rolled the dice to pair them up as a crack ship, but it turns out they’re actually canon. This just goes to show how promiscuous Greek gods are. Any two of them put together are bound to have some improper relationship.)

2. Both have countless lovers, but the gong is only physically involved with the shou, while the shou has relationships with many gods. The reason will be explained in the main text.

3. The shou is stunning, scummy, and promiscuous. Expect an extreme Shura field. The gong is a yandere with extreme possessiveness and will stop at nothing. It’s an internal showdown between two master scumbags. The Impermanence is as pure as those two were as wild — one has an excessively high moral bottom line, while the other basically has none.

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