Chapter 53 Confession
For a moment, Venus’ mind went completely blank.
Poseidon was Adonis.
There was no more absurd news than this.
How could his gentle, kind, and beloved first love, Adonis, possibly be connected to Poseidon, that perverted tyrant and obsessive madman?
But with this, many of the mysteries began to make sense.
Adonis, as a “human youth,” had remained unchanged in appearance for one hundred and fifty years. After his death, his soul did not descend to the underworld because he was the God of Sea. He had never truly died.
Both Adonis and Poseidon enjoyed telling him stories from across time and cultures. Before Adonis died, the last story he hadn’t finished reading was Daughter of the Sea. From that moment, he had hinted that Venus would eventually return to the embrace of the sea.
Poseidon knew of Adonis’ existence when he transformed into Ares. He even placed a three-hundred-year celibacy spell on Ares. Venus had never understood the enmity between Poseidon and Ares, but if Ares, in the form of a wild boar, had killed Adonis, who was actually Poseidon in disguise, it would explain why Poseidon sought revenge on Ares.
All the pieces of the puzzle, one by one, could now be traced.
The love he had encountered, from beginning to end, was always the same.
Was he happy?
Of course Venus was happy. Adonis’ death had always been a deep wound, a regret in his heart. The joy of having him back was overwhelming.
Did he forgive him?
……Hell no.
Venus was angrier than ever.
He was furious, extremely, unbearably furious.
Staring at Poseidon in disbelief, his voice trembled with rage. “So, even turning into Adonis and falling in love with me was part of your plan? From the moment I was born, you saw me as your queen. My meeting with Adonis in Cyprus was something you designed from the very beginning. I’ve been under your control every second of my life. You faked your death to deceive me. Do you take pleasure in seeing me grieve and cry for you? Does it satisfy your need to control me? I’d rather Adonis had truly died!”
At least in that case, Adonis’ feelings for him would have been genuine. But now, Venus was suddenly uncertain. If Poseidon was Adonis, didn’t that prove Poseidon had been deceiving him all along? Was that still love? Wasn’t Poseidon just enjoying the feeling of playing him like a puppet?
What had been called love now seemed like a joke. And he had fallen for it twice with such a despicable liar.
Venus was shaken with emotion, but Poseidon didn’t try to calm him. Clearly, this wasn’t a moment when a few words from him would make any difference. It was true that Poseidon had once viewed Venus as the perfect lover to satisfy his obsession. It was also true that he had faked his death to deceive Venus. There was no way he could refute everything, and he had no intention of making excuses for himself.
Poseidon simply admitted, “I did indeed have an obsession with finding the perfect lover. You were born perfect, so I gave you the crown of the Queen of the Sea. I wouldn’t allow my queen to fall in love with an Olympian god, so I transformed into Adonis to meet with you.”
His voice was as calm and steady as ever.
Venus felt as if someone had pressed the mute button on him in that moment.
He had been so passionate, so eloquent when accusing Poseidon, desperate for some kind of explanation. But now, hearing Poseidon admit it so straightforwardly, he suddenly found himself at a loss for words.
There was only emptiness in his heart.
Playing the coquette or throwing a tantrum only mattered if it was directed at someone who truly loved you. If the other person love or care about you at all, it would be ridiculous to keep making a fuss.
“……You’re so honest,” Venus wanted to imitate the nonchalant protagonists in those novels and pretend not to care, but his tears fell in a steady stream. The injustice of it all forced him into a sob. “You won’t even lie to me, not even to spare my feelings.”
He didn’t want to cry, but he was so heartbroken. The God of Love had fallen twice, and both times had been in the same damn pit. It felt like a personal defeat.
“Don’t cry, Venus.” Poseidon reached out as if to comfort him, to wipe away his tears. “Tears are precious.”
Venus turned his head away, avoiding Poseidon’s touch. “What are you pretending for? Wasn’t it you who made me cry? When I wept for Adonis’ death, weren’t you watching from the sidelines, enjoying the spectacle?”
It was truly humiliating! The more Venus thought about it, the angrier he became.
Poseidon lowered his hand and spoke calmly, “Venus, from now on, I will not lie to you. Everything that has happened, I will be honest about, both the good and the bad.
“My divine nature is filled with a desire for control, just as your divine nature is filled with a desire for pleasure. I act on whims that arise suddenly in my mind, and when those whims are unfulfilled, they turn into intense obsessions. To fulfill those obsessions, I will stop at nothing. I won’t allow anything in this world to escape me once I desire it.
“Life beneath the sea is long and dull. One day, I suddenly wanted a perfect lover, so my subordinates collected many beautiful women for me and kept them in the palace. The outside world thought that they were all my lovers. In fact, I only glanced at them once, and didn’t touch a single one, because I felt that they were not perfect enough. Then you were born.”
Venus’s lashes trembled slightly.
Poseidon had said that he never touched those lovers.
It made Venus feel a little better, but that relief quickly faded. That wasn’t the point anymore. Poseidon had admitted that he had only regarded him as a tool to satisfy his obsession, not that he truly loved him. What was the point in questioning whether Poseidon had ever had other lovers? Why was he even been happy about this…… He was hopeless!
He wanted to ask Poseidon why he had gone to such lengths to approach and deceive him. But Poseidon had already given an answer, and there was no need for him to ask further.
The words “divine nature” was enough to explain everything.
There didn’t need to be a reason. Four simple words were enough: because of divine nature.
How could a god go against their divine nature? Gods did not believe that following their nature were wrong. Divine nature stemmed from divine essence, and divine essence was bestowed by the heaven. How could the heaven be wrong?
Venus had only been able to experience love and desire with Poseidon because Poseidon had spent centuries carefully molding him for that purpose. Before this, he had also hurt Hephaestus with his divine nature and hadn’t realized his own mistakes.
Now, Poseidon had wounded his heart because of his divine nature. What right did he have to accuse him?
Venus had spent some time in the East, where he had heard a term from the Black and White Impermanence called “karma.” Perhaps this was his karma.
Poseidon continued, “There’s a saying among humans that love at first sight is merely lust at first glance. Venus, I’m sorry. Before truly getting to know you, I did indeed only see you as the god who matched my perfect ideal, so I deliberately sought you out.”
He paused for a moment. “But that doesn’t mean that after getting to know you, I was just playing a game.
“Life in the sea is monotonous, and it’s hard to find anything that stirs my emotions. When I transformed into Adonis and met you in Cyprus, you were innocent and lively, so different from the scheming gods on Mount Olympus. I was surprised you hadn’t been tainted by that filthy place. It was then that I truly became interested in you, beyond appearances. Everything in life felt dull, but you were the only thing that was fascinating. Before I knew it, spending every day hunting with you in the forests, watching you dance, telling you stories, became the highlight of my day. Even underwater, all I could think about was you. When I thought of you, my heart would race with joy, and I would long for the sound of the conch shell, so I could come and see you. At that time, I didn’t know that what I felt was love. I just thought you, from your appearance to your personality, embodied my perfect lover. Otherwise, how could I not find any bit of you that was not lovely?”
Poseidon rarely revealed his heart in such a long and open confession. Venus bit his lip slightly. He hadn’t forgotten the sweet, honeyed taste of Adonis. The taste couldn’t lie. Adonis, who was actually Poseidon at that time, had indeed loved him with a sweet, genuine love.
Obsession alone could not create the tenderness of love.
Listening to Poseidon’s confession, Venus couldn’t help but feel a flicker of sweetness in his heart. Even though Poseidon had done so many despicable things, once he realized that Poseidon truly loved him, he instantly felt that nothing else was important.
All he cared about was this, only this.
As long as the love was real, he could overlook everything else.
Venus’ tears had already stopped. He wiped away the teardrops with his fingers, taking the opportunity to cover his lips with the back of his hand, so that Poseidon wouldn’t notice the curl at the corners of his mouth.
He couldn’t forgive him so quickly. He’d lose all his dignity if he did.
“So, what do you have to say about faking your death and deceiving me?” Venus asked, adjusting his expression and lowering his hand.
“There’s nothing to explain. It was just my possessiveness,” Poseidon admitted without hesitation.
“I had planned to bring you back to the sea when you turned two hundred. Do you remember the hundred carts of gifts I sent you on the day of your coming-of-age ceremony? That was supposed to be my bridal dowry. But then, the catastrophe of the Norse pantheon spread to the Greek seas, so I couldn’t leave the sea realm. I knew I wouldn’t see you for hundreds of years. I was certain that, with your divine nature, you wouldn’t sit idly by for all that time. You’d end up enjoying the love of other gods, and that was something my divine nature couldn’t tolerate. I even considered whether I should cast a celibacy spell on you, to keep you perfectly mine.”
One sentence from Poseidon had reignited Venus’ fury. “You actually thought about casting a celibacy spell on a the God of Pleasure? I’d be miserable!”
The God of Pleasure couldn’t live without pleasure. Even if it appeared that Venus was devoted now, it was only because Poseidon alone could fully satisfy his lust. As long as he was with Poseidon, he never lacked pleasure.
Poseidon sighed softly. “Yeah, that’s why I couldn’t bring myself to do it.”
He hadn’t been able to allow his perfect lover to be touched by anyone else. He shouldn’t have let Venus slip out of his control. He should have claimed Venus fully, without ever considering how Venus might feel.
From the moment he fell in love with Venus, Poseidon had already lost control.
Venus froze, his eyes shimmering with a glimmer of realization.
He suddenly understood that Poseidon had already violated his divine nature once for him.
He knew how twisted and terrifying Poseidon’s possessiveness could be. It was the kind that would enrage him if he saw another male creature under the sea so much as glance at Venus.
And yet, this very twisted pervert had allowed him to sleep with other men for hundreds of years, just to…… keep him from feeling miserable.
If the mortals, or even the Black and White Impermanence, had heard about this, they would likely have been utterly baffled. “Isn’t it natural for him not to harm you? Why are you feeling moved by this?”
But the Greek gods didn’t follow human moral standards. By human ethics, staying faithful in marriage was a given, but Venus had never had such a concept before. He only came to understand it after falling deeply in love with Poseidon, without anyone teaching him.
Among the entire Greek pantheon, there were very few gods who understood true love. Most only knew desire, not love, and lacked the sense of right and wrong that later humans would develop.
It was nothing short of a miracle that Poseidon could restrain his divine nature. For him to allow his lover to seek pleasure elsewhere was as difficult as getting Venus to focus on just one dish.
The surprising thing was, both of them had actually managed it.
In a way, they were indeed a natural pair.
Furthermore, Poseidon had left him initially for the greater cause of protecting Greece.
Venus had always admired those great heroes who safeguarded the world, so he couldn’t possibly hold it against Poseidon. As the God of Love, he believed in love above all else, but without heroes protecting peace, how could there be love for the departed souls?
It was just that he wasn’t exactly happy with the way Poseidon had left.
“You could have chosen to leave without dying……” Venus complained in a low voice. “But you had to make me suffer a little.”
“I did have selfish reasons,” Poseidon admitted. “Letting you be with others physically was my greatest concession. Your heart can only belong to me, and nothing could be more unforgettable than death.” He frankly admitted, “I’m sorry, Venus, but if I had to do it again, I still wouldn’t let anyone else have a place in your heart.”
His divine nature could yield for Venus, but it could never truly disappear. He would never lose his possessiveness over Venus, just as Venus would never be free of his desires. They were inherently at odds with each other, yet through mutual compromise, they had reached the most harmonious state they could.
That was how the death of Adonis came about.
But Poseidon still couldn’t hold back, once again taking on the form of Ares, climbing the mountain, and plucking the rose.
By the time Poseidon brought Venus back to the sea, the pure white rose that had once been his alone had bloomed into a brilliant red, adored by all the gods.
The red rose now carried the scent of others, its thorns pricked, opposing him, contrasting sharply with the perfection he once had. It needed to be corrected — piece by piece.
But Poseidon didn’t try to reshape the red rose entirely, turning it into the perfect version he had initially envisioned.
What Poseidon wanted now was no longer what he had imagined in the beginning.
In changing the rose, he had also changed himself.
Venus fell into silence.
His anger came quickly, but it faded just as fast. The matter of Poseidon’s fake death, which had caused him so much pain, was indeed very annoying.
But after hearing all of Poseidon’s words, that annoyance couldn’t outweigh the love he felt for him. His first love, his true love, the one who controlled his desires, the one who possessed his heart, his other half. Everything was embodied in the blue-haired, blue-eyed god standing before him.
He loved him so much that he wanted to jump into bed with him immediately.
It wasn’t that he always had lustful thoughts in his mind…… okay, maybe he did, but so what? He was the God of Pleasure.
“Alright, ahem! Aren’t you tired of talking so much?” Venus, now that his most pressing concerns had been addressed, couldn’t hold back his instincts any longer. “Let’s finish this business first.”
Without the irrigation of love, he felt like he was withering away. He hadn’t even sought out other men, and was left to handle things himself. Venus felt that he had sacrificed so much for Poseidon.
It was incredible that he had suppressed his lust for love.
Poseidon listened to Venus’ sudden change of subject and gave a slight smirk. “Alright.”
“I’ve had relationships with other people, and I’m always going against you, challenging your desire for control in every way. Do I still meet your perfect standards?” After days of drought, Venus finally found relief. In the midst of their tenderness, he suddenly snapped back to awareness, his green eyes narrowing suspiciously at Poseidon. “Am I your perfect lover?”
Poseidon replied, “You’re truly not.”
Venus raised a hand as if to strike him.
Poseidon pulled him into an embrace, his lips brushing against Venus’s ear. “You are my perfect love.”
Poseidon’s former standards for a partner had been — unmatched beauty, boundless talent, a submissive nature, someone entirely under his control, body and soul exclusively his.
That was what had fit his definition of perfection.
Except beauty, Venus lacked all of that.
But love was an unreasonable thing. When Venus appeared in his world, the so-called standards changed.
Poseidon’s new definition of perfection was Venus.
What he considered perfect in his heart, was simply the way Venus was.
Venus felt his heart lighten with joy and leaned in to kiss Poseidon. “You are my perfect love too.”
A once-in-a-lifetime love, the kind that happens only once and lasts forever, mostly appeared in fairy tales. Reality, however, was rarely so perfect. The chances of finding a lover who fits all criteria were slim. One might go through relationship after relationship, sleep in one bed after another, experience countless things but never find a safe harbor to settle in.
But what if his love wasn’t in the safe harbor? Although it was warm and secure, there might not be a boat there that suited him. No matter how delicate the boats he stepped on were, if they weren’t right, they were simply not right. A god born from the waves would only capsize them.
He jumped into the icy, dangerous sea, and in the embrace of the waters, he found the most perfect love.
The sea was both the origin and the final resting place of the waves.
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