Death Knocks on Hell’s Door Chapter 79 Part 2

Chapter 79.2 The Wedding Banquet

Only the Four Judges, Ox-Head and Horse-Face, and Meng Wan at their table knew the truth.

King Yan had once again brought his little reaper along to show off their love.

Meng Wan was so excited she began pounding the table. “That’s the God of Death! It must be the God of Death! How is Thanatos so beautiful? Ahhh, my heart’s going to melt! My baby Thanatos is actually a silver-haired beauty!”

Lu Zhidao quickly caught the wine cup that nearly toppled over. “Miss Meng, please calm down. The table’s going to crack.”

Meng Wan: “It’s not the table that’s cracking, it’s my heart! He’s so beautiful, it’s breaking my heart!”

Thanatos, feeling the intense gaze of so many Eastern gods, awkwardly wanted to bury his head in Yanluo’s chest. However, in the spotlight of so many eyes, doing so would be even more embarrassing.

His gaze swept around the room, and he saw that every table was filled with gods he didn’t recognize. Only the tables of Meng Wan and Venus were familiar to him. Venus’ table, in particular, was almost entirely empty, save for his family of three. It was practically a special area for Greek gods.

Instinctively, Thanatos made his way toward that table, but Yanluo stopped him by taking his hand and guided him to the underworld gods’ table. “Sit next to me.”

Thanatos was pulled to sit at the judges’ table. Yanluo even considerately pulled out a seat for him and prepared his utensils, successfully hearing the gasps of surprise from the gods in the hall.

This table was full of Eastern gods, and Thanatos was the only Western god mixed in with them.

At another table, Cupid curiously asked, “Why isn’t Big Brother God of Death sitting with us?”

Poseidon corrected him, “God of Death isn’t your big brother. According to seniority, he should be—” He suddenly fell silent.

The God of Death was a second-generation god, while Cupid was a fourth-generation god. By their familial hierarchy, Cupid should address Thanatos as “grandfather.”

However, upon seeing Thanatos’ youthful appearance, Poseidon hesitated to speak the words.

“Right, calling him ‘big brother’ is fine,” Poseidon calmly concluded.

Venus added, “Because your Big Brother God of Death found love, of course he chose his lover.”

He had already sensed the love between Yanluo and Thanatos. Although he had an inkling of it during the previous birthday banquet, this time, the affection between them was much stronger. They should have already confessed their feelings to each other.

The progress was much faster than it had been with the Black and White Impermanence.

Perhaps it wouldn’t be long before he was attending another wedding banquet.

Sitting at a table full of gods, Thanatos still wasn’t very willing to spin the turntable to pick the dishes he wanted.

But Yanluo would serve him. He knew Thanatos’ tastes perfectly by now, constantly offering him more food and encouraging him to eat.

The other gods at the table: We can’t watch this.

The gods at the other tables, who were covertly observing: We must be seeing things.

As Yanluo served Thanatos, he explained the traditional Chinese wedding customs. “In a Chinese wedding, there are Three Letters and Six Etiquettes. The three letters are the betrothal letter, the gift letter, and the wedding letter. The six etiquettes are the formal proposal, birthday matching, presentation of betrothal gifts, exchange of wedding gifts, choosing an auspicious date, and the wedding ceremony itself. Only when everything is completed can the marriage be considered official. Gods don’t typically need to follow all these steps, but since these two have regrets from their previous lives, they want to have a complete Song Dynasty wedding, without skipping any step.”

As Thanatos listened to the explanation, he couldn’t help but think how complex and grand the Chinese wedding customs were.

“When the grooms arrive later, they’ll worship the heaven and earth, and then to their parents. But since their marriage isn’t fated by heaven, there’s no need to worship the heaven. Their parents have probably been reincarnated many times, so there is no one to pay respects to. I’m happy to take that part for them.” Yanluo had written their fates and helped them ascend to immortality. He could be considered the parent who gave them a second life, so he could accept their respects.

Thanatos nodded, listening attentively as if it were a lesson. Just when he thought the conversation was over, Yanluo suddenly changed his tone and smiled. “Now you’ve learned it. When we get married, you’ll already be familiar with the process.”

Thanatos: “……” Shameless.

Just as he was about to speak, the two grooms arrived. Upon hearing the news, Yanluo rose from his seat and moved to the head of the table, sitting upright with a dignified posture.

Fan Wujiu and Xie Bian hailed from the Song dynasty, a time when wedding traditions dictated that the groom would wear red and the bride would wear green. Instead of a veil, the bride would use a feathered fan to modestly conceal her face. But this time, since both grooms were men, they both wore red, and no one had to cover his face.

Thanatos, who was accustomed to seeing the Black and White Impermanence in their signature black-and-white uniform, was amazed by the striking red robes.

The crimson wedding attire was lavish and elegant, each stitch and thread exquisitely crafted.

The two Impermanence Immortals were strikingly handsome. Fan Wujiu exuded a heroic charm, his fiery red attire enhancing his lively expression, giving him a youthful, spirited air. Xie Bian, on the other hand, had a cool and refined demeanor. Draped in red and adorned with festive colors, he looked both dignified and radiant. While he wasn’t as carefree and playful as Fan Wujiu, he still wore a gentle smile, his eyes shining with happiness.

They made for a pair of blissfully happy newlyweds.

Venus tugged on Poseidon’s arm and whispered, “Look at how beautiful their wedding clothes are!”

Poseidon had bought him countless beautiful clothes, but none of them were in the Eastern style.

Poseidon: “Should we host a Chinese-style wedding too?”

Venus sighed wistfully, “Not necessary. I just want beautiful clothes.”

Poseidon quietly made a note of it and later bought a large batch of Chinese wedding attire in different styles from Yanluo, changing Venus into a new outfit every day.

The Old Man under the Moon was specially invited to be the master of ceremonies, personally stepping up to preside over the wedding ceremony. He called out three times for the couple to bow. The Black and White Impermanence bowed to Yanluo twice, then finally bowed to each other.

After the ceremony, Yanluo and the Old Man under the Moon returned to their seats. Next, traditionally, the groom would stay behind to entertain guests, and the bride would be sent to the bridal chamber to await the groom. But today, there was no bride, only two grooms, and both stayed behind to toast each table.

The Black and White Impermanence approached Yanluo’s table first. When they saw the unfamiliar silver-haired youth, they were momentarily surprised, but quickly recovered, raising their glasses to toast.

Thanatos, swept up by the lively atmosphere, also took a drink.

“Come, come, come, let’s drink! Wishing you both a lifetime of happiness!” Meng Wan declared, downing her drink in one go.

“Lao Hei and Lao Bai are married now, when are we going to find someone?” Wei Zheng lamented.

“Been single for a thousand years, can’t take it anymore. Tonight, we’re going to make a scene in the bridal chamber!” Cui Jue said with a fierce grin.

Fan Wujiu shot a murderous look at Cui Jue before leading Xie Bian to Venus’ table, thanking Cupid for his golden arrow of love.

……

Xie Bian wasn’t great with alcohol, so Fan Wujiu shielded him from a lot of it. After toasting each table, he finally carried the half-drunk Xie Bian back to the bridal chamber, causing an uproar among the guests.

With the main couple gone, the guests began to disperse. Only the Four Judges, Granny Meng, and a few who were familiar to the Impermanence Immortals remained to join in the bridal chamber antics. Cupid and Venus, eager to know what the Chinese custom of making a scene in the bridal chamber was like, decided to join in, with Poseidon reluctantly accompanying them.

Yanluo, as the boss, finally remembered that he needed to maintain his dignity. He didn’t go along to meddle but instead took Thanatos back to their apartment.

Thanatos, still curious, asked, “What does ‘making a scene in the bridal chamber’ mean?”

“It’s also a Chinese wedding tradition,” Yanluo explained casually. “It’s when friends and family create a ruckus and cause trouble so the couple can’t spend a candle-lit night in the bridal chamber smoothly.” [T/N: 洞房花烛refers to the wedding night or consummation of marriage, with 洞房 (cave room) symbolizing the love nest and 花烛 (flower candles) representing the bright, celebratory lights of the occasion.]

Thanatos was still confused. “What does ‘cave room flower candle’ mean?”

The phrase was unique to Chinese culture, and foreign gods found it hard to understand just from its literal meaning. Thanatos thought of a cave (洞), a room (房), a flower (花), a candle (烛)…… He had no idea what the connection was or what it had to do with things going smoothly or not.

Yanluo pondered for a moment and then explained, “It’s the joy of fish and water, the clouds and rains of Mount Wu, the quilt turning into red waves……” [T/N: all euphemisms for sexual intercourse]

Thanatos: “……?”

Yanluo had used a bunch of words that Thanatos still couldn’t quite understand.

He could understand each character, but strung together, they just left him more confused.

What was the joy of fish and water? What made the clouds and rain of Mount Wu so special? How could a quilt turn into a sea of red waves? How could all these unrelated terms mean the same thing?

Thanatos sighed inwardly. His Chinese still needed work. He had thought that recognizing the characters meant he was fluent, but now he realized he had barely scratched the surface.

After explaining those terms, Yanluo looked at Thanatos and asked, “Did you understand?”

Thanatos honestly shook his head.

Yanluo felt a bit embarrassed. As a reserved and introverted Eastern god, how could he say those words so bluntly? It was only because Yanluo still clung to a bit of gentlemanly decorum that he hadn’t boldly made such a request.

But perhaps this could be an opportunity.

What gentlemanly decorum? To win the heart of a beautiful person, one must be scheming.

“Here’s the thing,” Yanluo said, his expression unchanged. “I’ll teach you through practice. Once you experience it for yourself, you’ll understand.”

Thanatos pulled out his phone. “I can just search it.”

Yanluo snatched the phone away.

Thanatos looked up at him in confusion.

“I’ll teach you,” Yanluo said seriously. “If you can’t handle it, you can call a stop at any time.”

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