Everyone Is Non-Human Except Me [Rebirth] Chapter 86

The government military archives were located on the 14th floor of the central military headquarters, heavily guarded by soldiers and strictly off-limits to outsiders. Back when Wei Huan was still the Nine Phoenix, his father never discussed work at home, nor did he take him to any military facilities. Wei Huan never imagined his first time entering such a place would be because of Yun Yongzhou.

When Yun Yongzhou’s Golden Crow barrier ring appeared, the soldiers stationed outside the door immediately turned to look. Seeing it was him, they exchanged surprised glances.

But it was unmistakably him. No one else in the entire demon realm could possess such demon energy.

“Young Master Yun,” the leading soldier was the first to speak. “May I ask, you’re here for…?”

Yun Yongzhou shot him a sidelong glance. That alone was enough to make the soldier lose the nerve to continue his question. Who didn’t know that the Prime Minister’s son was cold and arrogant, decisive and ruthless, killing a demon gone mad was no different to him than stepping on an ant. If anyone truly angered him, they would be the one to suffer.

Yun Yongzhou couldn’t be bothered to explain and directly walked in. No one dared to stop him. Wei Huan carefully followed behind and passed through without issue. Along the way to the elevator, everyone they passed took the initiative to greet Yun Yongzhou, but their expressions were all quite telling—most were shocked, some were tense, all forcing a stiff, fake social smile.

When Yun Yongzhou stepped into the elevator, the others actually avoided going in with him, choosing to wait for the next one. As soon as the elevator doors closed, Wei Huan started to complain, “Looks like your reputation inside the Federation isn’t so great.”

“They’re just afraid of me.”

Wei Huan pursed his lips in disbelief, then hopped up from behind and hugged his back. “What’s so scary about a pretty boy like you?”

Yun Yongzhou was slightly bent forward by the weight, but still instinctively reached back to support him. Seeing the elevator was about to arrive, Wei Huan quickly stood properly and followed Yun Yongzhou out.

Two guards stood outside the archive room. When they saw Yun Yongzhou from a distance, they immediately spoke into their communicators. Yun Yongzhou walked straight over without saying a word, and the guards didn’t dare stop him, letting him pass.

At the archive’s front desk stood a pearwood demon with a beautiful face, who seemed already prepared, waiting outside the counter with a flattering smile. “Young Master Yun, welcome.”

She spoke as if he came here often. Wei Huan, following behind, gave this demon—who practically had “ulterior motives” written on her face—a thorough look, then glanced around and walked over to the metal door at the side of the reception desk.

This was probably the entrance to the archive. It looked quite secure.

Yun Yongzhou nodded briefly. “I’m here to find a file.”

“Well…” The pearwood demon coyly hesitated for just a second, then immediately smiled sweetly. “Normally, our access procedures are extremely strict. File inquiries require approvals from the relevant departments. But since it’s you, those tedious procedures aren’t necessary. I suppose you probably aren’t aware of these regulations—you likely didn’t apply in advance.”

Wei Huan was shocked and complained via mind link.

[Wow, the double standard is insane, tsk tsk.]

Yun Yongzhou’s lips lifted slightly. “Thank you.”

That barely-there smile was like a priceless treasure to the pearwood demon. “It’s nothing. Serving you is my honor!”

[Hey, don’t smile at her.] Wei Huan’s tone suddenly sank, clearly displeased as he glared at the demon.

Yun Yongzhou responded in the mind link.

[That counts as a smile?]

[Yes! You’d better keep that ice-cold poker face at all times, or I’ll classify your extremely unqualified expression control as blatantly flirtatious behavior!]

He really had a way with words. Yun Yongzhou glanced at him during the exchange and found his puffed-up, fuming expression, like an angry little pufferfish, incredibly amusing.

The pearwood demon, meanwhile, had already clicked her heels over to the archive door and used her access to open it. She nearly plastered herself to Yun Yongzhou as she eagerly said, “What file are you looking for? I can help you find it. Most of our archives have electronic backups, but some are only available in paper. If you remember any keywords, you can tell me—I’ll help you search.”

“No need.” Seeing that Wei Huan had already gone inside, Yun Yongzhou also stepped forward, held the door frame, and turned back to speak with polite distance. “I can find it myself.” With that, he firmly shut the door.

[That’s more like it.]

Wei Huan didn’t wait for him and walked straight inside. The archive wasn’t much different from most other records rooms—files were categorized by time, and the space wasn’t large.

The room was divided into two areas: the front for electronic archives, the back for paper records. According to Changming the lamp spirit, the file they needed should be among the paper records. Wei Huan headed directly to the back, Yun Yongzhou following behind and reminding him via mind link:

[Don’t touch the files. Otherwise, on the surveillance feed, it’ll look super weird.]

Oh, right. Wei Huan almost reached out. Hearing Yun Yongzhou’s warning, he glanced up at the cameras. If they caught files flipping open by themselves, they’d probably think it was a haunting.

So he kept his hands behind his back and just searched by year. The paper files were stored in rows of cabinets, with the year labeled at the top and the months marked on each shelf.

[Found it!]

Wei Huan double-checked—sure enough, it was Star Axis Year Six, September. He pointed at the cabinet and gestured to Yun Yongzhou: [It’s this one—quick, help me open it.]

Yun Yongzhou walked over, gave him a sidelong glance, and said via mind link:

[Call me older brother.]

Wei Huan’s eyes widened in disbelief.

[Seriously? How are you so good at blackmailing people? You must be the undefeated champion of the Opportunistic Blackmail Contest across the entire demon realm. I give up.]

Yun Yongzhou wasn’t offended by his complaints—he patiently coaxed:

[Call me, and I’ll open the cabinet for you.]

Something feels off about this phrasing…

Wei Huan suspected there was some hidden meaning behind his words but gave up trying to figure it out after a few seconds. This guy always laced his words with some sneaky double meaning.

Finding the file was the priority. Knowing when to back down was one of Wei Huan’s survival rules.

[Older Brother, Older Brother Golden Crow, Older Brother Yongzhou, is that good enough?] Wei Huan said it while even putting on a pitiful little expression just for him—no one else could see it, only Yun Yongzhou could. Like a poor little ghost who accidentally got caught.

 

[I’ll let you slide this time.] Yun Yongzhou still wore a dissatisfied expression as he stepped forward to open the cabinet. Normally, it required a key, but Yun Yongzhou didn’t want to deal with that overly flattering pearwood sprite. Instead, he conjured a thin strand of light, manipulated it with his demon power, and patiently picked the lock.

 

[I used to pick locks with wind when I was a kid—exactly the same trick] Wei Huan said smugly, as though he was boasting about something glorious. [I bet no one could lock either of us out.]

 

Yun Yongzhou pulled the cabinet open, his tone cool and indifferent.

 

[But I *can* tie you up.]

 

Leaning against the cabinet, Wei Huan frowned. [You…]

 

[And it’ll be the kind you can’t untie unless you beg me.]

 

Game over. Totally done for. Wei Huan realized he had been completely fooled by Yun Yongzhou. This guy wasn’t some cold, aloof golden crow at all—he just had a face that looked like an untouchable flower from the mountaintop. In reality, he was a thug.

 

Pah. Not even a young thug. Twenty-eight already—a full-blown old thug.

 

Yun Yongzhou pulled out the folders from the cabinet one by one. There weren’t many from the ninth month of the sixth year of Xingzhen—only four in total. He opened each one to check.

 

[What kind of file are you talking about?]

 

Most of the documents were mission reports. The first page typically listed the person in charge and participants. But after flipping through all four, none of them contained the name of Wei Huan’s father. Wei Huan leaned in to check—indeed, none were related to the demon slayer clan at all.

 

Could the Changmingdeng Niang have made a mistake?

 

Just as Wei Huan was about to check further, a sudden noise came from the entrance—the sound of the door opening. He glanced outside and saw someone in a government army uniform. The cabinet partially obscured the person’s face. Wei Huan stepped out a bit more to get a clearer look—

 

“Yongzhou!” the newcomer called out cheerfully, making Wei Huan, who knew Yun Yongzhou’s identity, instantly feel annoyed.

 

[Oh? Still in touch with Big Dog after all these years, huh? Sounds pretty close, ‘Yongzhou.]

 

Hearing Wei Huan’s jealous tone, Yun Yongzhou turned around, somewhat puzzled. He saw Zhao Yuecheng, the eldest son of the Tengu family, who had already taken off his military cap and was walking over. He was an old classmate from their time in Shanhai and was now part of the government army.

 

“I originally came to fetch something. Then I heard downstairs that you were here, so I figured I’d come up and see you.” Zhao Yuecheng’s face was full of unconcealed joy. “Feels like I haven’t seen you in forever.” As he spoke, he opened his arms for a hug.

 

Arms crossed, Wei Huan leaned against the cabinet, watching gleefully.

 

[Tsk, poor Little Nine Phoenix. One after another gets driven away.]

 

Yun Yongzhou immediately took a step back to avoid the hug. Zhao Yuecheng, used to his temperament, wasn’t offended. He withdrew his arms and started chatting. “So, what brings you to the archives? You never come to government territory.”

 

“My father sent me to retrieve a document.”

 

Wei Huan dramatically rolled his eyes, sighing.[Little Golden Crow, lying on the fly, not even bothering to draft it first before tricking Dog Boy.]

 

Zhao Yuecheng kept chatting away, but Yun Yongzhou’s mind wasn’t on him. Every time he recalled Wei Huan’s snide commentary, he wanted to laugh. He couldn’t even focus on anything Zhao said.

 

“Yongzhou?” Zhao Yuecheng waved his military cap in front of him. “Spacing out?”

 

Yun Yongzhou snapped back and coughed. “No, just a little tired.”

 

“Let me help you look. The files here are endless. You searching alone is too inefficient.” He rolled up his sleeves eagerly.

 

[Forget that pearwood sprite—the true champion of the Bootlicking Olympics has returned in glory,] Wei Huan sighed. [Poor invisible Little Nine Phoenix, better off finding it himself.]

 

Before Yun Yongzhou could respond via mind transmission, Zhao Yuecheng suddenly leaned in closer, brushing past Yongzhou’s shoulder and walking along the cabinet—directly following the faint trace of Wei Huan.

 

Wei Huan’s eyes widened in terror. He gestured frantically at Yun Yongzhou.

 

Oh no. Tengu’s sense of smell is the sharpest.

 

Zhao Yuecheng frowned, sensing something wasn’t right. “Yongzhou, do you smell something strange?”

 

Author’s note:

Yun Yongzhou: *My wife’s scent.