Everyone Is Non-Human Except Me [Rebirth] Chapter 87

Yun Yongzhou put on his best clueless face. “Is that so?”

 

While half-heartedly responding to Zhao Yuecheng, he hid his hands behind his back. With two fingers pressed together, he subtly rotated them—the curtain by the window on the other side of the room suddenly ignited with starlike sparks.

 

The tengu’s nose twitched at the scent of burning. He quickly strode behind Yun Yongzhou toward the source.

 

Wei Huan seized the opportunity to circle around the back of the cabinet, moving behind both Zhao Yuecheng and Yun Yongzhou.

 

Zhao Yuecheng pinched the flame between his fingers, extinguishing it. The fire absorbed instantly into his fingertips. “It really was burning… No wonder I felt something was off. I kept smelling something strange.”

 

[Hmph. Guess his dog nose isn’t *that* sharp after all. Dumb mutt] Wei Huan grumbled.

 

Standing behind Yun Yongzhou now, Wei Huan stared directly at Zhao Yuecheng and whispered to Yun Yongzhou, [Hey, don’t you think he looks older? I can see wrinkles on his face. But you—you haven’t changed a bit. Still as gorgeous as ever. No, even more handsome than before.]

 

A shameless string of flattery, with insults perfectly woven in.

 

[Well, it *has* been seven years. Of course he’d age. But Yun Yongzhou, look at me—I’m still in my twenties. Round it down, I’m basically fresh out of my teens. Young, energetic, full of life. Don’t look at him. Look at me.]

 

Yun Yongzhou suppressed a laugh and told Zhao Yuecheng, “Maybe I accidentally sparked something when I passed by the curtain earlier.”

 

“Could be. Your fire energy’s always intense.” Zhao Yuecheng, gullible as ever, bought it without question. His enthusiasm didn’t wane at all. Rolling up his sleeves, he grinned, “So what file are you looking for? I’ll help.”

 

Yun Yongzhou was cautious. He didn’t directly reveal anything about the file’s contents. Instead, he asked, “Are all files stored strictly by date in these cabinets?”

 

Zhao Yuecheng glanced at the cabinet, thinking. “Not always. Depends on the confidentiality level. I remember last time I came for a mission report—it was stored in a separate room.” He pointed toward the last row. “There’s actually another room back there with a lot more files. Maybe what you’re looking for is there.”

Wei Huan suddenly realized, [No wonder we couldn’t find it—turns out there’s a secret room.]

Yun Yongzhou raised an eyebrow. “Really?”

Zhao Yuecheng, as if seizing an opportunity to show off, grinned. “Of course. Come, I’ll take you there.”

Wei Huan followed at the rear, his mouth never stopping its commentary. [Tsk, tsk, tsk. Beauty traps really do kill without a trace. Is this still the same Big Dog who used to fight me in the chess arena until the sky went dark and the sun and moon vanished? Is it because Little Nine Phoenix isn’t pretty enough or Little Golden Crow isn’t withdrawn enough? Why doesn’t he like me?]

[In your dreams.] Yun Yongzhou actually replied via mind transmission for once.

[How is that dreaming? You think I wasn’t popular in Shanhai back then? I won’t even mention Fuyao—half the blossoms in Jiahui bloomed just for me, Wei Little Nine.]

[Then I’ll burn them all.]

[Wh-what?!]

Zhao Yuecheng led them to the last row of filing cabinets. On the far left wall was a palm-sized gray metal panel that looked like a breaker box cover. Zhao Yuecheng placed his hand on it, and immediately, a synthesized voice responded: “Identity verified. United Yokai Federation Army Lieutenant Zhao Yuecheng. Welcome.”

As he lifted his hand, the entire row of cabinets suddenly shifted to the right, revealing a pristine white wall. The wall itself moved backward, then slid aside, exposing the hidden room. The room was about half the size of the main archive but packed full of cabinets.

“These files aren’t accessible from the outer room,” Zhao Yuecheng explained with a grin. “I figured—no way the Prime Minister would send you all the way here just for some ordinary paperwork. Had to be something sensitive.”

Yun Yongzhou went along with it smoothly. “Exactly. So about me coming here…”

Before he could finish, Dog Boy was already waving his hand confidently. “Relax, Yongzhou. I won’t tell anyone. When we leave, I’ll delete my access logs too.”

Wei Huan, already inside the hidden room, turned back and sighed. [Dog Boy… you’re so dumb it kinda makes me sad.]

The files were also organized by date. Wei Huan quickly found the cabinet and waved his arms to get Yun Yongzhou’s attention. Yun Yongzhou walked over as Wei Huan, like a showroom assistant, gestured toward the cabinet.

[Please~]

There was a square fingerprint scanner on the cabinet door. Before Yun Yongzhou even asked, Zhao Yuecheng eagerly stepped forward. “This one, right? Let me.”

With a few quick taps, the cabinet unlocked. Inside was just a single folder. Yun Yongzhou took it out and opened it—sure enough, it contained a mission report.

To Zhao Yuecheng’s credit, he was sensible enough not to peek. He stood to the side, casually looking around. Meanwhile, Wei Huan leaned close behind Yun Yongzhou, chin resting in the crook of his shoulder, peering at the file.

The very first page listed the task force members. The name written under “Leader” was: Wei Qingyun.

[It’s really my dad…] Wei Huan murmured.

Yun Yongzhou flipped further. The file contained only a single line of mission summary:

On the third day of the ninth month, year six of Xingzhen, the task force successfully annihilated the Li clan of spirit mediums. No survivors confirmed.

Wei Huan stared blankly at that line.

No survivors…

[The Li clan… that was the last surviving branch of the demon slayers. Could it really be true that my father led the government army to wipe them all out?]

Something didn’t sit right.

[You were looking for the mission to exterminate the demon slayers?] 

Yun Yongzhou’s tone grew strange, as though he knew something. But Wei Huan, focused entirely on the task force, didn’t think too much about it.

[Yeah. Flip back—I want to see the full team roster.]

Yun Yongzhou obliged, carefully scanning the document before closing it.

[Hey, I wasn’t done looking.]

[You saw enough.] Yun Yongzhou slipped the document back into the folder. [Your Xihe Eyes have photographic memory.]

Wait, really? No wonder—it was said those eyes were one of a kind in the entire yokai realm. Thinking about it, Wei Huan suddenly felt bad on Yun’s behalf. Such rare, precious eyes… and yet he’s so willing to use them like this.

Yun Yongzhou’s tone turned serious. [If you’re really going to investigate the history of the demon slayers, you need to tell me everything. I have to know the full story.]

Wei Huan wasn’t sure why he was suddenly so serious but nodded. [I will. I promise.]

“Alright. Thank you,” Yun Yongzhou said aloud.

“No problem. Just a tiny favor.” Zhao Yuecheng looked a bit flattered, as back in school he’d hardly had a chance to speak to Yun Yongzhou. When they had interacted, Yun Yongzhou barely said a word to anyone…

Except for that lunatic Little Nine Phoenix, who always managed to provoke Yun Yongzhou into talking.

“You’re not taking it with you?” Zhao Yuecheng asked, confused. “Didn’t you come to get the file?”

“It’s not this one.” Yun closed the cabinet. “I’ll go report back. Maybe it was a mistake.”

“Ah… I see.” Zhao Yuecheng nodded.

Yun Yongzhou turned and walked out, Wei Huan following at his side. As they exited the archives, the pearwood sprite waiting by the door rushed forward with a sugary smile. “Young Master Yun, did you find what you were looking for?”

Wei Huan sighed heavily via mind transmission.

[Ugh… life is so hard…]

Zhao Yuecheng, however, immediately snapped, “No need to stick that close. Not worried your pearwood body’s gonna catch fire?”

Wei Huan blinked in surprise. Huh. Dog Boy actually knows how to throw shade.

But no sooner had he finished scolding the sprite, Zhao Yuecheng switched back to a warm tone. “Yongzhou, if the Prime Minister ever sends you over again, give me a heads-up. I have most of the clearance here. I’ll bring you straight in.”

Yun Yongzhou nodded but didn’t reply.

Zhao Yuecheng then turned back to the sprite, reminding, “And don’t you dare mention anything about Young Master Yun coming here today. Classified.”

The pearwood sprite pouted, but the Tengu clan was not someone she could afford to offend—especially given their infamous arrogance and power. She had no choice but to swallow her frustration and nod. “Understood, Lieutenant Zhao.”

After leaving the archives and entering the elevator, Zhao Yuecheng excitedly spun his military cap in his hands. “Yongzhou, it’s been so long since we’ve seen each other. Want to go out for a drink?”

Wei Huan immediately slid between the two, spreading his arms like a mother hen guarding her chick, shielding Yun Yongzhou. [He’s a married man, you hear? Honeymoon phase. Sweet as honey. What’s he drinking with a dog like you for?!]

Yun Yongzhou stood behind him and declined flatly. “No, I still have to report back.”

“Then… how about next time?” Zhao Yuecheng asked, a hint of disappointment showing on his face.

Wei Huan rolled his eyes. [There is no next time. You’re a sun crow; he’s a tengu. Biologically incompatible, okay? Ever heard of reproductive isolation?]

Zhao Yuecheng persisted. “Or… maybe I could visit Shanhai sometime? I’ve got business there anyway. If you don’t mind, we could…”

Before he could finish, Wei Huan’s ring suddenly rang, startling him. He scrambled to take it off.

Zhao Yuecheng frowned. “What’s that sound? Wait… isn’t that… the communication chime from Shanhai’s student rings?”

[Put it in my pocket.] Yun Yongzhou’s mind voice came immediately.

Wei Huan reacted quickly, stuffing the ring into the pocket of Yun Yongzhou’s uniform coat.

Yun Yongzhou pulled it out with a calm expression. “Yeah, sorry.” He checked the message, then shut it.

[It’s from Qing He. They’ve found Yang Shu.]

Wei Huan blinked. [Wow, Qing He really is the master of perfect timing.] Then, catching up to the name, he stiffened. [Yang Shu? Already?]

Zhao Yuecheng glanced at the ring on Yun Yongzhou’s hand, then watched as Yun Yongzhou casually slid it back onto his ring finger. He wanted to ask but didn’t dare, so he circled back to the earlier conversation with a forced grin. “So, uh… what was I saying? Right—if you don’t mind, next time I’m in Shanhai, I can look you up for that drink, yeah?”

Yun Yongzhou interrupted him directly. “Someone would mind.”

Even Wei Huan was momentarily stunned, turning to look at him.

“The person I like would mind.” Yun Yongzhou lifted his hand slightly, as if deliberately showing off the ring on his finger.

Huh?

Zhao Yuecheng’s eyes widened. “Wait… you mean that human you made a contract with? No way…”

“Exactly.” Yun Yongzhou’s tone was firm. “He’s petty, jealous, and holds grudges. If he finds out I went drinking without him, he’ll definitely throw a fit. Might even scold me.”

Zhao Yuecheng frowned in disbelief. “How could he dare…”

“Oh, he dares. Absolutely.” Yun Yongzhou, usually reserved, suddenly wouldn’t stop. “Doesn’t matter who it is. If some random little demon chats with me a bit too much, he’ll curse their ancestors for eighteen generations in his heart—without missing one. And if I so much as smile at someone else… he’ll sulk half a day and ignore me.”

Wei Huan, embarrassed beyond belief, shrank back behind Yun, arms dropping to his sides. “I’m not that bad…” he muttered weakly via mind voice.

Zhao Yuecheng was speechless. Yun Yongzhou had said more in these few minutes than in their entire acquaintance combined. A mixture of jealousy and frustration flared in Zhao Yuecheng’s chest, but he swallowed it down. “A guy like that… doesn’t deserve to be by your side.”

Yun Yongzhou didn’t hesitate. “No. Him choosing to stay by my side is my greatest blessing.”

In that moment, Wei Huan felt like he was standing under a cherry tree, and with every word Yun Yongzhou spoke, bright red cherries rained down, knocking him dizzy and drenched in sweetness.

He wasn’t sure if Yun Yongzhou really meant it, or if it was just a convenient excuse because of the ring incident. But every word landed like a ripe cherry right into the softest part of his heart.

Yun Yongzhou’s voice remained steady. “I like his jealousy. I like it when he gets angry at me. He was born with everything, so he’s never had the need to feel possessive over anyone or anything.”

“For me to be the one person he wants to have all to himself… that’s my honor.”