FMEA Chapter 146

Chapter 146 Riding a pig to snatch the bride! 

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As soon as Yan Ran stepped into the gate of Xiefang palace, he heard a bang behind him and the doors…closed. The sad experience over the past few days made him sensitively aware of the danger coming. 

Logically speaking, at this time, he should have turned his head and ran. However, Yan Ran didn’t know why, but he just bit his lip and rushed in regardless of his intuition. His intuition told him that it was dangerous, yet it also told him that if he left like last time, he would never get in here again. 

“Oh, the Gorgeous Tutor has come, what a rare guest, a rare guest indeed.” Xia Yuqing peeled her orange and glanced lazily at Yan Ran who was rushing in anxiously. 

Yan Ran paused when he heard Xia Yuqing’s ridicule. After a dry laugh, his feet moved slightly, and he rushed towards the side door. 

Yet unexpectedly, after less than two steps were taken towards the side door, he crawled back as the big wolf dog from the side door bared its teeth at him. 

“Wowowo…” You heartless rat, where are you running to?! With this uncle here, don’t think about it! 

Xiao Bai stood proudly at the forefront, leading a few big wolfhounds to bark at Yan Ran. 

Yan Ran stood there silently petrified, then weathered down to the ground. It was these dogs again, he doesn’t want to play with them!

Xia Yuqing had seen enough of the excitement. She stretched out her hand, threw the orange peel and casually hit a three-pointer. Good job! 

Yan Ran stared at the orange peel on his forehead and watched Xia Yuqing hiccup. “Hiccup…” 

“…” 

“Gorgeous Tutor, why are you so anxious to rush into the side hall? Were you preparing for a private meeting? Which beautiful woman in the palace are you looking for? You didn’t even greet Ben Gong after seeing Ben Gong. Did you think that there was no one in this palace?” 

Xia Yuqing raised her hand and slapped the table. However with no prior experience in being vicious and with too much force… 

“Ouch…” 

“Niang Niang, what’s the matter?” The people on the side were startled when they heard Xia Yuqing’s painful cry. They surrounded her, one by one, worriedly.

Xia Yuqing held her little hand pitifully: “Oh, too hard. It hurts, it’s all red!” 

“…” 

Yan Ran couldn’t help but hook his lips up, but when he recalled his purpose of coming here, he quickly stopped the smile on his face. Speaking with a serious face: “Niang Niang, I heard that Yin Gongzi and Li Yuan…” 

“It’s true.” Yan Ran was beaten mercilessly by Xia Yuqing before he could finish speaking. “Did the Gorgeous Tutor not see the bright and colorful words in our palace? It was prepared for Xiao Yuan and Young Master Yin.” 

“I don’t believe it. How could Li Yuan… with that polite hypocrite.” 

Xia Yuqing stared at Yan Ran excitedly, then said coldly, “If Xiao Yuan doesn’t like Master Yin, then do you think she would like you, a spoiled child? Someone whose parents are rich and powerful, yet they only know how to start illicit relations then run off?” 

With a bang, a thunderbolt slammed down on his head. Yan Ran was struck down, almost breaking the ground.

“I…I don’t believe it. Even if Li Yuan doesn’t like me, she will definitely not like that hypocrite. I want to hear her personally tell me. I need to see her.” 

Yan Ran raised his sleeves angrily. Wanting to rush towards the side hall, the consequence, of course, was a few wolfhounds biting at him. 

“No, you can’t see Xiao Yuan right now. No, to be precise, you can’t see Xiao Yuan again in the future.” 

“Why?” Yan Ran’s eyes widened suddenly, staring at Xia Yuqing in disbelief. 

“Why?” Xia Yuqing raised her eyebrows, her face was puffed up like a little pufferfish with her belly turned upside down, “You still have the face to ask me why? Hmph, I’ll tell you, Xiao Yuan is Yin Gong Zi’s fiancée now. After tomorrow, she will be Master Yin’s person. From now on, she will have nothing to do with you. Everything before will be completely wiped off and done with. You will take your sunny road and Xiao Yuan will cross her single-plank bridge. The two of you owe nothing to each other. Our family’s Xiao Yuan has already because of your…actions, been tainted. For this matter, even if Yin Gongzi doesn’t mind, if others knew, they would definitely gossip and insult Xiao Yuan’s shamelessness.”

Xia Yuqing curled her lips in disdain. The women in the past were ultimately chaste and conservative in their thinking, they weren’t able to have a one-night stand casually like later generations. Hmph, you beast, after taking away Xiao Yuan’s virginity… you still abandoned her. Even if your uncle can tolerate it, this aunt can’t!

“If you continue to cling onto Xiao Yuan in this way, this matter will definitely be known to others. Do you want to ruin Xiao Yuan’s reputation? For Xiao Yuan’s future happiness, please don’t come bother Xiao Yuan again. Don’t get involved with Xiao Yuan anymore.” Xia Yuqing used the words she learned from her little yellow novels that were used to break apart affectionate couples. She secretly thought, if you don’t take this bait, this sister will take your last name! 

Xia Yuqing seemed to be hitting Yan Ran’s head fiercely with a heavy hammer, yet Yan Ran felt nothing but a blank in his head. When he came back to his senses, he had successfully bypassed the wolfhounds and rushed towards the side hall. 

Yan Ran was triggered, but never expected that a Cheng Yaojin (inept and bumbling warrior who sometimes shows up at the right place and right time to save the day) would appear!

Xia Yuqing puffed up her chest and blocked the door. 

Yan Ran slammed his brakes and stopped one centimeter away from Xia Yuqing. If he accidentally injured this girl, let alone Feng Tingye that narrow-minded fool, those girls in this palace would drown him with their spit! 

Yan Ran was startled and started having a cold sweat. He silently wiped the sweat off his head. One step to the left, one step to the right, then he stood still.

Seeing Xia Yuqing, who was stuck in front of him and following his moves, Yan Ran sucked in a breath of air. He reached out to carry Xia Yuqing aside, but before he had touched Xia Yuqing, she widened her eyes and yelled: “You dare to touch me? If you dare to touch me, I’ll tell the emperor that you insulted me. Gorgeous Tutor, charging into the harem, having illicit relations, insulting the empress, no matter the charge, it is enough for you to have your whole family executed. Even if you have a good relationship with the emperor and grew up together, capital punishments are unavoidable and hard to forgive. It’s easy for us to have the Gorgeous Tutor arrested for up to half a month. By the time you come out of the cell… Xiao Yuan would have followed Young Master Yin and there would be nothing you could do, Wahahaha…” 

“…” 

Yan Ran became petrified again. After a moment, he knelt down in front of Xia Yuqing. 

“My little ancestor, grandma, aunt, don’t play with me anymore! Please be merciful, let me go in and see her, just one look!”

Xia Yuqing shook her hair with a terrible expression and very arrogantly said: “It’s not impossible to let you in, but…you have to answer a few questions from me first.” 

“…what’s the question?” 

“If you can marry Xiao Yuan, are you willing to marry her?” 

Yan Ran was taken aback, and blurted out: “Of course.” 

Xia Yuqing nodded and asked: “Very well, then I will ask you again. Are you willing to marry Xiao Yuan because of the guilt of that night or because of something else?” 

“I…I…I…” 

Xia Yuqing waited for a long time, but didn’t hear Yan Ran say anything. Her face sank, and she said impatiently: “Throw this guy out of the palace.” 

“Wait…wait, why are you throwing me out? Why do you guys greet that hypocrite with joy when he comes, but when I get here, I end up being thrown out over and over again? This is not fair!” 

“Fair your sister!” Xia Yuqing was angry and laughed. As everyone pressed down Yan Ran, she stepped forward and twisted Yan Ran’s ears and sneered, “Why? I’ll tell you why. Yin Gong Zi is marrying Xiao Yuan because he likes her and will love her for the rest of his life. You are just a b**tard who is marrying her out of guilt after a one-night stand and is too ashamed to talk about it. There is no sincerity at all. People who enjoy playing with other people’s feelings are not suitable for Xiao Yuan. Go back and think about why you want to marry Xiao Yuan, then come here again, otherwise, I will throw you out everytime I see you. Now… throw him out!”

Xia Yuqing gave the order and Yan Ran had no chance to resist. He was thrown out head first: “Oh, my handsome face!” 

“Your handsome face? Everytime I see you, I will hit you once. I will hit you until I beat you into a pig’s head!” Xia Yuqing snorted in disdain after listening to Yan Ran’s wailing. 

“… Niang Niang, if the Grand Tutor still fails to communicate this time, what should we do?” Lu Rui asked with lingering fears.

“…” Xia Yuqing was silent for a few seconds, then looked up at the sky, “Then there is really no other way, so be it.”

“…” What does that mean? If the Gorgeous Tutor doesn’t come to steal the bride as expected, will the little doctor really be married off to Xue Country? At that time, Yin Gong Zi and the people in Xue Country will know the truth. Do you understand the consequences? 

Lu Rui was so anxious she wanted to cry. She was once again played until she broke. Oooo …… because of Niang Niang, this Nu Bi has aged prematurely, how sad! 

It was nighttime in the Grand Tutor’s mansion. From time to time there was a burst of sounds similar to scratching of walls, which attracted the attention of everyone in the mansion. Fortunately, the old housekeeper was guarding outside and cleared the crowd, otherwise, there would be traffic jams early on. 

The next morning, when the candlelight burnt out, Yan Ran’s room let out an earth-shattering shout: “I understand. I didn’t want to marry her because of the guilt of that night, but because I like her too. Because I want to love her for a lifetime, that is why I want to marry her!”

Yan Ran roared and shook the entire mansion. It awoke everyone who was still sleeping. After listening to the Yan Ran’s roar, everyone’s face all turned into this: “……” 

Gong Zi (Young master), of course, marrying a wife is because you want to love each other for a lifetime. Even a three-year-old child knows this kind of thing, so… were you entangled this entire time because you couldn’t figure that out? How slow are you?! Therefore, Yan Ran was looked down upon by everyone in the mansion without knowing it. 

Yan Ran, who has figured out the relationship problem, was like a patient who has been freed of his constipation. Solving his heart problem, he felt comfortable and happy. It was a pity that he did not get the chance to savor the joy as the news that someone was about to get married came. It was like a heavy hammer that knocked him back to reality. 

“That’s right, that girl is going to get married today. No, I must not let my wife fly away like that! Enter the palace, yes, I must go to the palace now to find her!” Yan Ran made up his mind and pushed open the door wanting to run out. Unexpectedly, a black shadow rushed towards him. 

Yan Ran reflexively reached out and was almost pressed down by the body of the old housekeeper. 

“Housekeeper, why are you here? Oh, forget it, I don’t have time to talk nonsense with you. It’s dawn, I have to go to the palace or else it’ll be too late.” Yan Ran helped the old housekeeper up and stepped forward while speaking. However, the old butler pulled his sleeves.

“Young Master is going to go see Miss Li Yuan?” The old housekeeper stayed up all night, yet his eyes still remained bright and full of expression, radiating health and vigor as he stared at Yan Ran. 

But Yan Ran was not in the mood to chat with him. Reaching out, he tried to get his sleeves back: “Yes, she is going to marry the hypocrite Yin Xiang today. If I am delayed anymore, it will be too late. Let go!” 

“Master, Don’t worry, haste men can’t eat hot tofu (haste will ruin everything).” 

“It’s not your future wife who ran away with someone, of course you are not in a hurry. Let me go quickly, or I will be rude to you!” Yan Ran, worrying about the old housekeeper being too old, did not pull too hard. Unexpectedly, the old housekeeper, given an inch, wanted a foot. The original sleeve was not pulled out, and even the other sleeve fell into his claws. 

“Young master’s future wife is the future mistress of our Grand Tutor’s Mansion, how could this Nu Bi not be anxious? Nu Bi is pulling onto young master to tell young master that at this time, the girl may have already left the palace and is not in the palace. Young Master, even if you rush into the palace, I’m afraid you won’t find anyone.” 

“What, sent out of the palace? This early?” Yan Ran’s struggling stopped. He stared at the old housekeeper in disbelief, feeling like the sky had collapsed. 

Ahhhhh! God, how could you send down thunder after giving me a light of hope? ! 

The old butler looked at Yan Ran with a shattered expression and coughed lightly: “Master, if you go to the gates of the palace now, you should still be in time.” 

“What’s the point? To see her for the last time? Woo… …”

“…” The old housekeeper looked at Yan Ran’s utterly distressed look, wishing to slap the back of his head. He held back for a long time, before gritting his teeth: “Cry? Don’t cry!” 

Yan Ran was shocked and even more aggrieved. Growing up, he had always treated the old housekeeper as an elder. Now that he was grieving, not only did he not comfort him, but he even shouted at him: “My wife ran away, so I’m not allowed to cry? Woo… ” 

After all that, the old butler couldn’t hold back. He stretched out his hand and poked Yan Ran’s head vigorously: “Look at you. You were pretty clever when you were a kid, how come you grew up to be so foolish? If your wife ran away, chase her, why are you crying?” 

Yan Ran stopped crying and said in shock: “You mean…” 

“Steal the bride!” 

Dun Dun! The three words smashed Yan Ran into seeing stars. For him to fail to meet expectations, the old butler slapped Yan Ran on the shoulder: “You have ruined the girl, and yet you can still watch her board another person’s sedan chair? Go, hurry up and steal the person back! Otherwise, you will have to be sorry to the old madam and the ancestors of the Yan family…..” 

Yan Ran was frightened by the old housekeeper’s nagging and almost peed himself. He immediately interrupted his long talk: “Stop, stop, I’m going now. I will steal the person back right away!”

Yan Ran wanted to run, but after two steps, he was stopped by the housekeeper again: “Come back!” 

“…Housekeeper, what else?” 

The old housekeeper rushed in front of him and glanced at him: “You stupid boy, why are you running by yourself? Are you going to steal someone alone or are you planning to get robbed?” 

“Yes, yes…” Yan Ran suddenly woke up and took a deep breath. With a sigh of relief, he forced himself to calm down and shouted, “Xiao Qi!” 

“Here, here.” Before the voice fell, a dignified and strong book boy rushed over like a hot wheel from a distance, “Ma…Ma…Master, what’s your order?” 

“Pass on the order. Besides the old, the weak and the women and children, as long as they are a living person, drag them out for me. Along the way, go to Shangshu’s Mansion and the Prime Minister’s Mansion to borrow people. If they don’t lend anyone, tell them that their brother’s wife is going to run off with another. If they don’t lend anyone, then we will not be brothers anymore!” 

“Yes.” Xiao Qi (little seven) responded vigorously. He turned around to grab the able-bodied men everywhere. 

Half an hour later, at the entrance of the alley across the street from the gates of the right palace of the imperial palace, a black shadow was sneaking around as he looked at the crowd coming out with a solemn expression. 

A familiar shout came from behind suddenly, scaring a certain someone’s heart to almost jump out. 

“Ma… Ma… Master, I’m back!” Xiao Qi was about to speak when Yan Ran quickly covered his mouth.

“Hush, what are you doing being so loud? Are you afraid that others won’t be able to find us? Have you brought the people?” 

Xiao Qi having his mouth covered had a look of suffocation. Yan Ran hurriedly took his hand back when he saw that. 

“Cough cough cough…Master, you almost suffocated me to death.” 

“Stop talking nonsense, where are the people?” 

“I brought them all, they are right behind you.” 

Yan Ran was overjoyed when he heard the words. He turned his head to look, but was frozen in place. His smiling face was a little cracked. 

It took a long time for him to find his voice. He swallowed with difficulty, “What’s the situation?” 

Xiao Qi said blankly: “Nu Bi wasn’t able to borrow anyone from Shangshu’s Mansion and Prime Minister’s Mansion, so…” 

“So you just brought whatever you found there?” 

“No, it’s Master Shangshu. Master Shangshu said that there were no people, but there were a few of these that were just delivered this morning and they haven’t had time to kill them, so this servant thought that Master said anything was fine as long as it was alive. Since master wanted everything, it would be better to have this than nothing, so I brought it all over.” 

“…” But you still can’t bring everything here. Cats and dogs are fine, since they can bite people, but this? What is its use? Does it scare people and make them pee themselves? Yan Ran glanced at Xiao Qi who had a wanton look and wanted to take credit for his achievement, he was speechless. 

“Hong Hong Hong ……”

Yan Ran immediately opened his eyes wide, time fell stagnant until …… 

“Master, people are coming out!” 

Xiao Qi’s scream brought back Yan Ran’s attention. He quickly stepped forward a few steps, like a gecko lying on the corner of the wall. 

“Tsk tsk tsk… Those two dark circles are symmetrical. Ruo Feng, did you do bad things again last night?” Shao Zitong, who was late because he was blocked when he was heading out, looked at Leng Ruofeng’s face and began to gloat and laugh. 

Leng Ruofeng glanced at him coldly, but he was not angry. This showed that his mood was good to a certain extent. 

Being beaten up like this but still feeling good? Shao Zitong and Feng Tingye looked at each other and tentatively asked, “Ruo Feng, why didn’t your wife come with you today?” 

The atmosphere of Leng Ruofeng’s whole body changed. A cold wind rushed towards them and the two of them watched Leng Ruofeng’s ears turn red: “At home. Resting.” 

“…” Resting at home? So someone succeeded this time? They thought he had failed again with such big dark circles, yet he actually succeeded?! No wonder his mood is so good! 

Shao Zitong was stunned for a moment, then he sighed and looked up to the sky: “The world has really changed these years. Dead trees are given a new lease on life, even icebergs can melt into a pool of spring water. It has really opened my eyes of being a lonely person.” 

Shao Zitong’s words succeeded in setting the surrounding temperature. Suddenly breaking through to a new low, Feng Tingye gave him a faint smile, “Since you know that you’re alone and not young, why not find one as soon as possible?”

“I can’t bear it. I don’t want to become a wife slave like you guys. I still like this kind of free lifestyle.” Shao Zitong made an expression that said ‘please excuse me for not complying’. God knows what he would do if he had a wife like Xia Yuqing or even Xia Muyun. Would his family ever be peaceful?

Leng Ruofeng glanced at him and said with a chuckle: “The kid hasn’t grown up yet.” 

“Pu…” Feng Tingye laughed. He found that Leng Ruofeng has been getting more and more poisonous with his tongue now that he was hanging out with Xia Muyun. 

Holding back Shao Zitong, who was jabbed by the comment and wanted to quarrel with Leng Ruofeng, Feng Tingye smoothed things over by asking: “Don’t be like this now. Where’s Yan Ran? How come the kid hasn’t appeared yet?” 

“Maybe he’s sad and won’t come.” Leng Ruofeng thought for a while and came to a conclusion concisely. 

“That’s not necessarily true, maybe he will show up later. In fact, maybe he will appear in a way that exceeds everyone’s expectation.” 

“You seem to…” Feng Tingye squinted slightly, staring at Shao Zitong with a smile. “What do you know.”

Shao Zitong smiled silently. His eyes reached Xia Yuqing who was supporting the bride and he chuckled: “What tricks does the girl want to play this time? I don’t believe she is willingly allowing her girl to be brought out and married to another country.” 

Feng Tingye chuckled and smiled: “Zhen doesn’t believe it either.”

“Yet you still let her be so foolish?” Shao Zitong exclaimed in surprise. If something turns out wrong with this matter, it could easily cause antagonism between the two countries. 

Feng Tingye replied indifferently: “She is happy, so as long as it doesn’t kill anyone, Zhen will escort her, treasure her, protect her, and clean up the mess for her.” 

“…” Love is really blind! Wife slaves these days are terrible, a powerful and intelligent wife slave is even worse!

On the other side, Yin Xiang smiled slightly and took the bride from Xia Yuqing’s hand. Tightening his hand that held the soft hand, a little worry appeared on Yin Xiang’s face: “Xiao Yuan, what’s wrong? Why is there so much cold sweat?” 

The bride under the veil silently cried. I… I’m scared, ooh… 

Xia Yuqing on the side hurriedly interjected: “Xiao Yuan is… probably nervous. It’s inevitable for a lady to get nervous when she enters a sedan chair for the first time. So, she’s probably just nervous. You don’t know Master Yin, but Xiao Yuan almost didn’t fall asleep last night because she was so nervous. Now it’s all right, you can comfort her soon.” 

Yin Xiang nodded and accepted Xia Yuqing’s remarks. He said softly: “Xiao Yuan, don’t worry, I’m here.” 

Woo~ What a gentle and considerate man! Xia Yuqing looked at Yin Xiang’s affectionate look, silently intoxicated. Hey, Gorgeous Tutor, if you don’t appear soon, I’m going to rebel and switch teams!

Just as Xia Yuqing was entangled in her heart, there was a sudden movement from the boss not far away.

Xia Yuqing twisted her eyebrows. How could there be such a big movement early in the morning and the sound seemed to be of something running? Could it be… 

Xia Yuqing turned her head and looked expectantly. Staring at the quiet alley opening, a bright smile froze in the corner of her mouth, twitching. 

At the corner of the street, a group of fat wild boars rushed towards them like a bunch of grass mud horses (F word) crossing the border. It recreated the classic Plants vs. Zombies in a realistic manner! The most important thing was that there was a person standing on the fat pig running in front. This person was dressed in fluttering clothes and looked impressive. From a distance, he looked like a fairy who had fallen into the world by mistake and attracted people to stop. 

Stop your sister! Being so elegant and fairy like, how could you use a pig? How could you use a pig who only knows how to eat and sleep and is kept in a pig pen!?

But those were not the key points. The key point is that after seeing the crowd, the person riding on the pig yelled out in full anger: “Return my wife!” 

“…” Gorgeous Tutor are you sure you are here to steal a wife and not to be funny? !

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