Side Story 2: The End (Yan Ran Li Yuan)
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After the emperor of Ye Kingdom married the princess from Xia Kingdom as a political alliance, the relationships between the four kingdoms went unexpectedly chaotic, like a runaway grass-mud horse. Just when everyone thought the world would be messed up by the eccentric Imperial Concubine Roujia and the indulgent king of Ye, the situation changed dramatically. The four kingdoms transformed from hostility and open warfare to a harmonious unity. Against all odds, Ye Kingdom, which had been underestimated, became the most powerful nation among the four, occupying the throne at the top. It truly astonished those who had been ready to sit back and watch the show.
Of course, the reason Ye Kingdom flourished to such a degree was not only due to the wise leadership of King Ye but also the four ministers by his side, be they skilled in literary or martial arts. They were the stern and efficient Prime Minister Leng Ruofeng, the eloquent and learned Minister of War Shao Zitang, the valiant and heroic General He Wenzhong with countless military achievements, and the wise and knowledgeable Grand Tutor.
To outsiders, these four ministers were exceptional in appearance and hailed from prestigious families, appearing to be the most suitable husbands in the eyes of marriageable young ladies. However, only those familiar with them knew some hidden secrets behind their shining exteriors. For example, the Grand Tutor, who appeared more charming and enchanting than a lady, who could have thought that such a beautiful person was actually… a chatterbox!
The reason why Yan Ran had become the chatterbox that Xia Yuqing and the others saw was because of a certain backstory, ahem…
Yan Ran’s father, who was the previous Grand Tutor and ostensibly Feng Tingye’s mentor, was nothing more than a poor scholar from the water towns of Jiangnan in his youth. He was well-versed in classical literature and came to the capital to take the imperial examination. It was his outstanding poetry and essays that caught the attention of Yan Ran’s mother, who was the most talented woman in the capital at the time and also the daughter of a prominent scholar-official. The two of them quickly hit it off, creating a memorable story from that era.
It’s a pity, however, Yan Ran’s Father was, after all, a literary man, frail and sickly. Furthermore, as someone highly regarded by the previous emperor, he was somewhat overworked. A few years after Yan Ran was born, he passed away due to illness. The deep love between Yan Ran’s parents led his Mother to be melancholic, and she followed Yan Ran’s Father not long after.
Although Yan Ran sometimes acted irresponsibly, he was still from a scholarly family, so his knowledge was unquestionable. Moreover, he grew up in the palace alongside Feng Tingye, so when Yan Ran’s Father passed away, the former emperor intended for Yan Ran to inherit his Father’s position as the Grand Tutor and become a mentor for his future grandchildren. As an adult, Yan Ran naturally had no objections. In his eyes, being a court elite with extensive knowledge in astronomy and geography, how could he not teach a little child properly? When he couldn’t control Feng Tingye as a child, how could he not control Feng Tingye’s child when he grew up?
Therefore, when he later encountered the little demon, Big Baby, who was a hundred times more difficult to handle than when he was a child, and was deceived by him countless times, Yan Ran could only sigh and regret his rashness from those years! Of course, that was all in hindsight.
Yan Ran’s parents passed away when he was very young, and after that, he was carefully raised by the old housekeeper of his family. As everyone knows, that old housekeeper was not an ordinary chatterbox; he was more like a combat aircraft in Journey to the West!
The old housekeeper accompanied Yan Ran’s Mother to her marriage and served Yan Ran’s family for a lifetime. Since he had no children of his own, he treated Yan Ran as his own grandson, loving and caring for him deeply. He would chatter on all day, and gradually, Yan Ran couldn’t help but be influenced by him. By the time Madam Shao and the others realized something was wrong, Yan Ran, who had grown up in this scholarly family, had already become a fully-fledged chatterbox, becoming the second-generation gossip.
When Li Yuan first saw Yan Ran, she had just arrived in Ye Kingdom not long ago with the purpose of assassinating either King Ye or the Ye Empress to sow discord between Ye Kingdom and other countries, benefiting the man who had never treated her as his own child.
Unfortunately, she had underestimated the intelligence network of the newly crowned emperor of Ye Kingdom. Little did she know that as soon as she set foot in the capital of Ye, she was captured and imprisoned in the house of the rumored right-hand man of King Ye, the Grand Tutor.
That night, Li Yuan was bound and imprisoned in the dungeon of the Grand Tutor’s residence, where she witnessed Yan Ran lecturing the guards she had brought with her. He went on and on, lecturing for an entire night until he had mentally exhausted and forced them to confess everything.
Xia Yuqing and the rest didn’t know, and Yan Ran himself didn’t know either, that Li Yuan’s first impression of him was not very good. At that time, she watched him talk like a machine gun with his lips constantly moving, and his speech was relentless and non-stop. She couldn’t help but think that he was even more verbose than a long-winded woman, and he was a man!
Enduring the brainwashing for half the night, Li Yuan finally waited for the opportunity to get close to Yan Ran. She had already cut the ropes binding her with a hidden dagger concealed in her sleeve. As soon as Yan Ran entered the dungeon, she was just waiting for the right moment.
And when Yan Ran gave up on the guards he had exhausted and approached her, Li Yuan knew her chance had come.
The glint of the dagger flashed in the dim dungeon, and she swiftly aimed it at Yan Ran’s chest. Unfortunately, though Yan Ran was momentarily taken aback, he was, after all, a practitioner of martial arts, and he evaded the attack at the last second.
In that instant, Li Yuan was somewhat surprised that this chatterbox had such good skills. However, that thought only lasted for a moment. After several exchanges, Yan Ran might indeed be more skilled than her, but he never expected her to launch a sneak attack.
However, he couldn’t blame her. How could he have anticipated that while struggling with a thug, the thug’s claws would just happen to grab her chest, and then…
“Oh, so you’re a woman!” Yan Ran looked at the woman in front of him, whose whole body was sinking into depression after he had unintentionally groped her chest, and couldn’t help but feel emotional. “Tsk tsk, originally a beautiful woman, how could you become a thief? How can you justify yourself to your hardworking parents who raised you, who nurtured you and cleaned your messes… balabala…”
Li Yuan’s face turned red as she looked at the young man in front of her who had taken advantage of her and was now talking confidently. Veins popped on her forehead, and she felt that she could tolerate uncles but not aunts. Without further ado, she unleashed a barrage of the Three Laugh Unfettered Powder.
Yan Ran seemed to be completely unprepared for Li Yuan’s sudden attack, and he tragically couldn’t avoid it.
Watching Yan Ran rolling on the ground and laughing heartily, Li Yuan felt some of the pent-up resentment from the entire night finally dissipating. After enjoying this brief moment of catharsis, she calmed down but still couldn’t help approaching Yan Ran and giving him a good kick.
“I’ve tolerated you for a long time, you annoying chatterbox. I’ve never met a woman as naggy as you in all my life! My affairs have nothing to do with you! And how dare you take liberties with me! You’ve annoyed me, molested me, so go to h*ll!”
Li Yuan fiercely pummeled and kicked Yan Ran until she heard the footsteps of guards rushing over from outside. Only then did she remember that she was still in a dangerous place. After one last kick, she quickly left.
Li Yuan was a person from Xue Kingdom, and Yan Ran was the Grand Tutor of Ye Kingdom. She thought their paths would diverge after this encounter, but fate had other plans.
Even before her mission was accomplished, it was her actions that gave King Ye the lead to frame Prince Rui. Knowing that Prince Rui had been framed, Li Yuan realized that she needed to act quickly. With everyone’s attention focused on Prince Rui’s alleged treason and collusion with enemy states, she disguised herself and infiltrated the palace, intending to assassinate King Ye.
Unfortunately, her plan was on the verge of success when she was struck unconscious by a single blow from Feng Tingye. At that moment, Li Yuan knew that her chances of success were slim.
But she never expected to wake up again, only to find herself in the hands of the very person she had secretly plotted against.
At that moment, her mind was blank, and she felt a strange sensation upon seeing the first man who entered her sight in this ethereal emptiness.
“Who are you?”
She could see the person standing next to her pause for a moment, a faintly mocking smile on his face. “I am Ye Kingdom’s Grand Tutor, Yan Ran.”
Yan Ran? Li Yuan carefully chewed on those two words in her mind before looking up with a puzzled expression at the smug man not far away. She asked softly, “Then who am I?”
“…”
She could clearly see the man’s once proud smile falter for a moment. Her confusion deepened. Did she say something wrong?
“You don’t remember?”
Li Yuan obediently shook her head, and she saw the smile on Yan Ran’s face crumble a bit more.
“Do you really remember nothing?”
Again, Li Yuan shook her head. Then, she watched as Yan Ran frantically clutched his head in distress, his eyes filled with increasing bewilderment. Did she…. forget something?
Li Yuan had indeed forgotten everything, including her purpose for being there, her origins, and even her own name.
Yan Ran spent an hour digesting this information. Then, looking at the innocence in Li Yuan’s eyes, he seemed to come to a decision and let her stay with him for the time being.
And so, the assassin who had plotted to assassinate Feng Tingye vanished from the capital, and Yan Ran acquired a new follower, deeply devoted to him.
Many years later, Li Yuan and Yan Ran finally became a couple. Li Yuan had wondered more than once why she had fallen for this man in the first place.
Perhaps it was because of his unintentional gentleness, or maybe it was because of the trust he showed in her. Or it could have been the first time he called her… Yuan Er.
Li Yuan would never forget the day when she followed Yan Ran as usual, and they passed by the outskirts of the city, where they saw countless paper kites flying in the sky.
She curiously leaned against the window of the carriage, looking at the colorful paper kites in the sky, her eyes filled with envy and longing. And he sat opposite her, smiling brightly.
“Do you like paper kites so much? Since you don’t remember your name anymore, why not let me call you Yuan Er from now on?”
Yuan Er? Yuan Er? Something suddenly burst out from her heart, unexpectedly and unintentionally, causing her heart to beat in disorder for a moment. Later, she confirmed her feelings, and looking back on that scene, Li Yuan felt a sense of marvel. Perhaps her affection for Yan Ran had started from that moment.
Just as Li Yuan’s sudden memory loss had been abrupt, her memory recovery also surprised everyone. The moment she fell into the river after being plotted against, she instinctively grabbed the only person she was familiar with.
In that moment, countless memories flooded her mind – her identity, her purpose for being there, her determination, and… her conflict with that person.
Without any warning, Li Yuan remembered everything, including what she should have done. There were countless opportunities for her to take action afterward, but she hesitated.
Perhaps she was enamored with the warmth he unknowingly provided her when she was alone and cold. Maybe it was because he was too gentle with her, or perhaps it was because she couldn’t bear to let go of the affectionate address “Yuan Er” from him. At that time, she had already run out of options, and he was like a life-saving straw she had found with great difficulty in the deep sea. Although she knew this straw was something she had stolen, like a moon in the water and a flower in the mirror, it might disappear with a slight inattention. But she couldn’t bring herself to sever it.
However, false was false, and no matter how much she tried to deceive herself, it could never become true. In the end, she made her move, against the elder of the woman who had shown her great kindness and the person who had continued to trust her until the very end.
As expected, she couldn’t win favor among so many more powerful individuals; her plan had failed.
When she woke up again, the place she found herself in was no longer the comfortable side room of the Grand Tutor’s residence but a dark and desolate cell. The man with the smiling face was no longer there.
Wasn’t this what she had anticipated? Li Yuan slowly raised her hand to cover her eyes, self-mockery filling her heart.
This was the price, the retribution! It was the consequence of her cruel actions against those who had shown her kindness and blindly following the orders of those who disregarded her. It was all of her own making!
Li Yuan spent several days in that dark cell, seeing no one except for the guards who brought her meals. Until… Xia Yuqing’s arrival.
When the cell door opened, a part of her heart was actually looking forward to the possibility that it might be… him.
During those few days, her feelings for him had undergone a drastic change, unbeknownst even to herself. Unfortunately, it was all too late.
Li Yuan numbly listened to Xia Yuqing telling her how her supposed Royal Father, the Emperor, denied recognizing her and pushed her into a trap. Although she had long known that the man cared little for her and regarded her life as insignificant, hearing those words still made her feel desolate.
Her life’s biggest gamble had ended in failure. Everything she had fought for, in the eyes of those people, was just a joke, and she was nothing more than a pawn, easily discarded, unloved, and uncared for… No, perhaps there was someone who cared, but unfortunately, she had pushed him away with her own hands. So, she could only bear the bitter consequences herself.
However, what she didn’t expect was that even after committing such a grave mistake, she didn’t die. Instead, she found a new life within the palace she had originally intended to assassinate. And she certainly didn’t expect that… she would once again cross paths with Yan Ran unexpectedly, destined to be entangled for a lifetime.
Later on, Li Yuan often wondered, if Xia Yuqing hadn’t told her to wait outside, if she hadn’t been so curious and approached the door to eavesdrop, if she had resisted when being dragged inside, would they have had to endure such a long and tangled fate?
Unfortunately, there were no “ifs” in this world. Li Yuan couldn’t deceive herself. That night… if she had truly refused, she could have pushed him away. But… she didn’t. Subconsciously, she indulged in his advances, allowing him to have his way with her. So when she discovered the next morning that he had eaten and fled, showing no intention of taking responsibility, she was furious.
Li Yuan felt like a joke. After going through so much, she confirmed her feelings, only to find that the man never cared for her in the first place. It was all just her one-sided wishful thinking! Li Yuan was angry at Yan Ran’s irresponsibility, and even angrier at herself for being too casual. Why… why did she so readily allow him to do as he pleased with her?
In the end, it was her own stupidity! Unbeknownst to anyone, after Yan Ran left, Li Yuan’s eyes turned red with anger for a long time. Then, she covered her eyes with her hand, leaned back, and fell into the bed that still bore traces of the night before. Her whole being was engulfed in self-loathing.
Due to her lowly birth, despite being a member of the Xue Kingdom’s royal family, Li Yuan had endured the cold eyes of the palace’s residents since childhood. While her Royal Mother was alive, it was bearable, but after her Royal Mother passed away, those people took away the last layer of her support, and the malicious gossip poured into her ears, especially from those so-called royal siblings, filled with disdain and curses.
“Does someone as lowly as her deserve to be part of our royal family? Does she deserve to be this princess’s sister? If this gets out, people will laugh their teeth off. It’s truly embarrassing.”
“Yes, just her and her lowly Royal Mother, they don’t belong in this palace at all. If it weren’t for the Emperor’s mercy, they would have been thrown out of the palace long ago.”
“The reason they haven’t been expelled is probably that the Emperor has long forgotten about the two of them, right? After all, how can he be bothered to remember such lowly people? It’s truly annoying.”
“Indeed, indeed…”
Words of insult like these, Li Yuan heard almost every day. At first, she would get angry and upset, but gradually she learned to endure silently, to bear it without saying a word, to ignore the almost cruel words, and to numb herself, hiding in a small corner, trying to protect herself. However, some things that had been etched into her marrow were impossible to erase, such as… the melancholy and… the inferiority hidden deep within her heart.
Yan Ran’s sudden escape successfully brought out all these things she hadn’t noticed, and in that moment, she realized that these things had always existed, she had simply chosen to deceive herself.
“So, in the end, I am still alone.” Li Yuan tried to curl up in the messy bed, attempting to draw a little warmth from it.
She just… she just wanted someone to care about her a little, someone to hold her in their heart, someone to tell her… that she wasn’t superfluous in this world, that’s all, just that!
In the days that followed, Yan Ran intentionally or unintentionally avoided her. How could she, who was already sensitive, not feel it? Her hand, which she had wanted to reach out to him, was already dripping with fresh blood even before it could touch him, so she had to pull it back.
As the days went by, Yan Ran never mentioned that night’s incident, and with Li Yuan’s personality, she couldn’t bring herself to break the ice either and make Yan Ran take responsibility for his actions.
Just when Li Yuan thought that the matter had passed, the man who had originally treated her like a snake or scorpion suddenly turned around and began pursuing her.
Perhaps, after the long wait, all her expectations had been worn away. Or maybe, the tiny twisted and bad elements hidden deep within her heart were stirred and leaped again at Yan Ran’s reappearance. Yan Ran finally turned around to look for her as she had hoped. Instead of feeling delighted, she felt a kind of despicable anger.
Why… why did this man always intrude into her life forcefully against her will, every time she made up her mind to forget him and retract back into her protective shell? Why did he expose her to everyone and hurt her recklessly?
So, she unintentionally found it challenging to deal with this man who turned back to find her, uncertain whether it was due to responsibility or affection.
“So, you’re saying that as long as a woman was with you that night, you would’ve done the same thing, but I was just unlucky to barge in at that time and happened to become a target of Young Master Yan’s misfortune, so I should just consider myself unlucky?”
At that time, Li Yuan didn’t know why she asked such a biting question. Clearly… just before this, she had been constantly telling herself that as long as this man was willing to take responsibility for her, as long as he cared about her even a little bit, she would be content. But now that he really did so, she wasn’t satisfied. In the end, she was an insatiable woman.
While self-loathing in her heart, Li Yuan’s mouth couldn’t be controlled, and her heart couldn’t be restrained.
“I didn’t mean that!” Yan Ran heard Li Yuan’s accusation and panicked, “I meant that night, I was under the influence of drugs, which led me to do such terrible things to you. Afterward, I felt guilty and that’s why… that’s why I ran away early in the morning. Don’t worry, this time, I will definitely take responsibility for you.”
“Under the influence of drugs? So you did those things to me only because you were under the influence of drugs? So, you mean if you were under the influence of drugs and you accidentally did the same thing to a random palace maid, you would feel guilty and run to her, saying you want to take responsibility for her too?”
Li Yuan didn’t know why she kept saying such aggressive words, unable to tell if it was to retaliate for the complex emotions that had accumulated over these days or to test. She was testing the other person’s bottom line, testing how much he cared about her. Even though her rational mind told her that this was wrong, she couldn’t control herself. There were countless ways to explore a person’s feelings, but she clumsily chose the most straightforward way to probe the path ahead, even if it meant getting hurt.
However, what she didn’t expect was that no matter how she challenged him, this time, the man who had previously kept his distance from her unexpectedly stuck to her. Even though she couldn’t tell whether he had feelings for her or not, why… why did he have to cling to her now? It seemed that what those girls in the palace said was true after all. Men just enjoyed being difficult. When you pursued them, they despised you, but when you ignored them, they shamelessly wanted to be with you again. Sigh…
Just when Li Yuan and Yan Ran were at an impasse, unable to move forward, another unexpected incident occurred.
Ever since she arrived in the Xia Kingdom and was abandoned by her so-called Royal Father, Li Yuan had never imagined that she would encounter those “old acquaintances” from Xue Kingdom again, let alone meet the man who had given her warmth when she was young and she had treated him like a brother.
When Yin Xiang confessed his feelings to Li Yuan, she knew she should refuse. She had always regarded this man, who was probably her only childhood playmate, as her brother. Perhaps Yin Xiang himself hadn’t realized that his feelings for her were only sibling affection.
She should have been clear from the beginning, should have set the boundaries right away. But when she saw Yan Ran angrily standing in front of Yin Xiang, she couldn’t help but suppress the words that had reached her throat.
She concealed everything and accepted Yin Xiang’s meticulous care with a guilty heart, listening to his words of love. Using Yin Xiang’s kindness to her, she sought revenge on the person who had initially ignored her and forced him to face his own heart.
Li Yuan coldly observed as Yan Ran’s jealousy boiled due to Yin Xiang’s presence. She watched him, who was originally like a duck on land, plunge into the water just to compete for her attention, even pretending to be sick to gain a bit of sympathy from her. Though she didn’t show it on her face, she felt a sense of satisfaction. She was delighted by Yan Ran’s concern for her and guilty for using the man she once regarded as her brother.
What Li Yuan didn’t expect was for this stalemate to be broken by an unexpected twist—a botched attempt to forcefully marry her.
She never imagined that Xia Yuqing and others would be audacious enough to knock her unconscious, arrange a marriage with Yin Xiang behind her back, and even boldly let someone impersonate her on the wedding sedan. Looking back, perhaps only Xia Yuqing could dare to pull off such a daring act, all because she had someone who unconditionally doted on her, protected her, and willingly cleaned up her messes.
Admittedly, having been by Xia Yuqing’s side for so long, Li Yuan admired her innocent and playful mistress, as well as the man who liked teasing her but would be the first to stand in front of her when she was in danger. Maybe in the eyes of outsiders, Xia Yuqing and Feng Tingye were an odd pair in every aspect, but to those close to them, these two people were willing to accommodate each other. There was no one who could come between them, and no one was more compatible with the other than they were.
Thanks to this farce of a forced marriage, Li Yuan finally heard the words she had longed to hear. However, in the midst of the competition between the two men, she realized that she couldn’t go on like this anymore. Some words that should have been said a long time ago… it was time to speak them out.
So, she mustered her courage and revealed her true feelings when she was alone with Yin Xiang.
“Enough, this is it. Innocent and gentle? If it were the me from childhood, I would have been happy to hear you say that. But now… when I hear it, all I feel is irony. Would a gentle and caring girl wield a sharp blade and attempt to assassinate in the palace? Would an innocent and kind girl knowingly engage in an ambiguous relationship with you, knowing that it’s not true affection, just to stimulate that fool and make him realize his feelings for me?”
“Brother Xiang, you have been talking to me about our childhood ever since we reunited, but we can’t go back to the past. We are no longer the innocent and naive children who believed that there is vitality in everything in this world. To you, I’m just a sister, and you are holding on to memories of the past, unrelated to any romantic feelings.”
“Brother Xiang, do you know why I can tell the difference between you and him? It’s because you are too perfect, or I should say, too proper. Since we met again, you have never made any excessive intimate contact with me, even during that time on the ship, you remained restrained. Brother Xiang, maybe this statement isn’t absolute, but I strongly believe it. If a man truly has romantic feelings for a woman, even if he restrains himself, there are certain things that cannot be hidden. And you have never had those kinds of thoughts toward me.”
“I’m sorry, Brother Xiang, I let you down. I know I was wrong, so I don’t want to deceive you anymore. These days, you may not have been able to tell, but I could see it clearly. I have wronged you. Now, I’m saying all this because I don’t want you to be kept in the dark. Brother Xiang, when you look at me, you can never concentrate. Maybe you haven’t realized it, but I know. You are only seeing a naive girl from the past through me; what you are truly infatuated with is a vanished, non-existent… illusion.”
At that moment, she saw a trace of hurt and restraint in Yin Xiang’s expression. Her heart felt exceptionally bitter. It was her fault, being selfish and concealing everything, using this man as a stepping stone, and now she had to hurt him with these words. But this was the real her, molded by years of struggles and crushed by the palace. Just as she had said, she was no longer the innocent girl that attracted Yin Xiang. In the end, she was just… a selfish woman!
At that time, Li Yuan had hesitated. It was true that she had encountered Yin Xiang first, and he was the one who had given her warmth when they first met. But in the end, why did she choose that awkward and stubborn man over him?
Afterward, she couldn’t help but laugh at herself. Yin Xiang truly liked the innocent and naive girl from the past, the one who knew nothing and was pure as a jade. However, she was no longer that person. And then she understood, back then, they were just too cold, cold to the point where they could only find someone to warm each other up. But such warmth was always short-lived. So they were destined not to be each other’s one and only, and as for Yan Ran…
From the moment he called her “Yuan Er,” she knew that in this lifetime… she couldn’t escape from him.
She was like the kite in the sky, and he had become the one holding the kite string. After that night, the string between the kite and the kite-holder had slowly tangled into a knot. It couldn’t be undone, and the messy result could only lead to two possibilities—either cutting the tangled string, completely separating the kite from its holder, or letting the string continue to entangle, impossible for anyone to untangle!
Yin Xiang left, and life continued as usual. Yan Ran had finally determined his feelings for her and kept coming to her side, but she still didn’t respond to his advances. It wasn’t that she was indifferent; she just couldn’t get past the hesitation in her heart. She wondered if not responding would protect her from getting hurt. Selfishly, she enjoyed his pursuit but was afraid to take the next step. In the end, she was just… a coward.
As days passed, Li Yuan started feeling numb, but this numbness was finally broken when she received news from Yin Xiang again.
In less than two years, Yin Xiang ascended to the highest position in Xue Kingdom, becoming its true ruler. Those brothers and sisters who used to boss her around had all become the fury of a lost country. However, at that moment, Li Yuan realized that she felt nothing—no sadness for the fallen nation, no joy in revenge. Instead, she was filled with melancholy. In the end, those people were nothing more than familiar strangers in her heart.
What truly moved Li Yuan was something mentioned in Yin Xiang’s letter. With Xue Kingdom now under his control, he had the authority to let Li Yuan return and relocate the tomb of her deceased Royal Mother.
Relocating the tomb to give Royal Mother’s soul a place to rest had been Li Yuan’s persistent wish since her Royal Mother’s passing. However, the thought of returning to a place filled with so many painful memories made her hesitate.
Yet, the man who had always been by her side and clearly didn’t want her to go to Yin Xiang’s place told her, “Alright, go ahead. Isn’t it your long-cherished wish to relocate your Royal Mother’s tomb? I won’t stop you from doing anything you want, but one thing is for sure—I’ll go with you.”
Li Yuan stared at Yan Ran’s face, which didn’t seem fake, and for some reason, the trembling feeling in her heart that arose from the thought of returning to that place strangely calmed down.
In the end, the two of them went to Xue Kingdom together. When they arrived, it was the day of Yin Xiang and Xie Yanqing’s grand wedding. Yin Xiang was too busy to come and receive them, so one of his trusted aides welcomed them instead.
Yin Xiang’s absence made Yan Ran breathe a sigh of relief, but the vigilance that had risen within him since setting foot in Xue Kingdom still made Li Yuan chuckle. Unconsciously, her heart warmed.
The aide knew the purpose of Li Yuan and Yan Ran’s visit, so after some polite greetings, he took them to the courtyard where Li Yuan’s Royal Mother had lived before.
The empty courtyard was desolate, and it was evident that no one had set foot there for a long time. The only thing that hadn’t changed was the pear tree standing in the corner of the courtyard, swaying its white flowers in the wind.
Li Yuan’s heart stirred, and she said to Yan Ran, “I want to be alone with my Royal Mother for a while.”
Yan Ran hesitated for a moment, somewhat reluctant, but still nodded and walked to the entrance of the courtyard.
Li Yuan walked towards the pear tree and, relying on her memories, started to dig the ground underneath it herself.
It didn’t take long for her to find the urn she had buried there long ago, containing her Royal Mother’s ashes. As she dug it out, something fell from the top of the urn.
Li Yuan was taken aback and looked closely. It turned out to be a double happiness knot wrapped in cotton, somewhat dirty.
Looking at the double happiness knot, her eyes suddenly tightened, and memories of her Royal Mother holding her and talking about the past came rushing back.
Li Yuan’s Royal Mother was also born into a scholarly family on the border, and though they were not particularly wealthy, they were not impoverished either. As the youngest daughter of the family, she had been engaged to another well-matched young man since childhood. They were childhood sweethearts deeply in love, lacking only the final step before they could marry. However, because Li Yuan’s Royal Mother was young and shy, the originally scheduled wedding was delayed several times. This delay lasted for half a year, and during that time, a sudden flood occurred on the border. Li Yuan’s Royal Mother’s formerly peaceful family home collapsed overnight, leaving them starving and destitute. She also wandered to the capital city and, due to circumstances, became involved with the royal family.
The double happiness knot was the token of their love that Li Yuan’s Royal Mother had given to her childhood sweetheart. Before her death, she repeatedly instructed Li Yuan to bury the item with her.
The floodgates of memories seemed to open in an instant, and all the things that Li Yuan had overlooked before surfaced one by one in her mind.
How could she forget? In this desolate courtyard, her Royal Mother had gazed sadly at the moon in the sky, looking at the towering palace walls, longing for pain. Countless times, she had cried in suppressed tears during midnight dreams, regretting that she hadn’t been braver in the past. She wondered if everything would be different now if she had been more courageous.
Li Yuan picked up the double happiness knot from the ground, and suddenly, she seemed to understand something, and her expression changed.
All along, she had wanted to relocate her Royal Mother’s tomb to a peaceful place, giving her Royal Mother a name and identity. But had she ever considered if this was truly her Royal Mother’s wish?
Perhaps… perhaps her Royal Mother never wanted to stay in this so-called palace. Perhaps she didn’t care about the royal titles and possessions. For her, that man was the culprit who took away her chastity, the one she hated more than anything. How could she be willing to sleep next to him even after death?
How could she forget the longing in her Royal Mother’s eyes when she looked at the scenery outside the palace walls? How could she forget the true intention behind her Royal Mother’s wish to be buried with the double happiness knot? Back then, she was too young and didn’t understand anything, but now she understood it all. Her Royal Mother regretted, regretted her hesitation and indecisiveness back then, regretted missing the opportunity to be with that person…
The thing her Royal Mother wanted most was not the wealth and titles within the palace, but rather to leave this place and return to the man she had loved and missed her whole life. Unfortunately, she hadn’t fulfilled this wish until her death, and she didn’t dare to hope that her daughter could help her achieve it. That’s why she didn’t say anything, hiding her true desire in her heart, and asked her daughter to bury her under this pear tree because it was the place where that man had given her the double happiness knot.
With all of this suddenly making sense to Li Yuan, she clutched the double happiness knot and held the urn tighter. She turned and walked out of the courtyard, which held too many memories for her.
As she stepped out, the young man standing at the courtyard’s entrance turned as if sensing something. The sunlight bathed him, casting a faint glow over his entire being.
Li Yuan clearly saw the moment when Yan Ran saw her. His beautiful peach blossom eyes lit up brightly, and that dazzling light shook her heart. Unconsciously, her Royal Mother’s remorseful words echoed in her mind.
“If, if I had been a bit braver back then, would we not be in this awkward situation of wanting to meet but not being able to see each other?”
Brave… a bit? Li Yuan stared at Yan Ran’s handsome face, and her hand holding the double happiness knot unconsciously tightened. For the first time… she wanted something so much. No matter what, she didn’t want to miss it. No matter what, she wanted this person, she wanted him.
In that moment, with the wind gently blowing, the tree’s shadow swaying, and the white pear blossoms falling to the ground, Yan Ran was unaware that Li Yuan had already made up her mind. Their happiness had quietly arrived in that second.
“What are you thinking? You seem lost in thought,” Li Yuan, reclining in a rocking chair, was casually observing the falling pear blossoms not far away. Suddenly, a hand reached out from the side and grabbed hers.
“It’s nothing.” Li Yuan averted her gaze, looking at the person who sat down next to her, and chuckled. “Why did you come back so early today?”
Yan Ran sat beside Li Yuan and smiled in response, “There’s not much to do at the court, and I’d rather come back to see you and our child than watch the emperor and that girl show off their love. I don’t want to be blinded by their affection.”
Li Yuan couldn’t help but laugh at Yan Ran’s proud and jealous appearance. She reached out to touch her clearly protruding belly and asked playfully, “Do you prefer a boy or a girl?”
Yan Ran’s eyes brightened. “Hmm, let’s have a girl. Look at the little one from the emperor’s family; he’s always following his Royal Father and causing trouble. It’s so annoying. A little princess would be much better behaved! Besides, our child will be as beautiful as you, Yuan Er.”
Looking at Yan Ran’s indignant expression when mentioning the crown prince, Li Yuan shook her head helplessly. Then, holding the double happiness knot in her hand, she suddenly asked, “But what if it’s a boy?”
Yan Ran was taken aback, but then he turned into the devoted husband and dog-leg companion, saying, “If it’s a boy, it’s a boy. Our child will not turn out like theirs. As long as it’s born from you, Yuan Er, I’ll love it whether it’s a boy or a girl. Ideally, we’ll have more children.”
Li Yuan heard from Yan Ran’s words that he wasn’t just joking. Her face blushed slightly, and she became annoyed and embarrassed as she retorted, “You, the esteemed Grand Tutor of Ye Country, with thousands of women at your disposal, have plenty of women to bear your children. Hmph, I heard that a few days ago, one of your former lovers came looking for you to spend time with. Who knows, maybe those women from your past have already given birth to a bunch of kids bigger than my belly.”
Yan Ran’s face turned pale when he heard this and immediately started defending himself, “Yuan Er, you’re completely misunderstanding me. Although there were rumors about my romantic escapades in the past, it was all just talk. I never had any relations with those women. The time we spent together in the palace was your first time, and it was also my first time!”
Upon hearing Yan Ran’s unabashed confession, Li Yuan blushed even more and stared at him, saying, “No wonder you were so inexperienced back then; it was your first time!”
“…”
Yan Ran looked at Li Yuan in disbelief, with a shattered expression on his face. His mind was endlessly repeating, “His wife thinks he’s inexperienced, inexperienced, inexperienced…”
Oh my goodness, how could he admit to being a clueless virgin who only admired from afar? How could he endure such humiliation? Ah, ah, ah… Was it because of this that his wife didn’t give in and agree to give him a chance, even after pursuing her for several years?
Yan Ran felt that he accidentally touched the tip of an embarrassing truth and felt utterly dejected.
Li Yuan stole a glance at Yan Ran’s desolate and crestfallen appearance and couldn’t help but smile. She had heard the housekeeper mention that Yan Ran was quite inexperienced before meeting her. This was why she deliberately brought up this issue, as she felt uneasy about his past wandering in the brothels and courtesans, even before they met.
So, never underestimate a woman’s jealousy. Give them a little stick of anger, and they can move the whole world.
“Since you never really had any intention with those women… then why do you keep going there? Could it be that the wine and beauty there are better than anywhere else?” Li Yuan cleared her throat, suppressing her laughter, and brought Yan Ran back from his wandering thoughts.
Yan Ran hadn’t expected Li Yuan to ask this. His expression was embarrassed for a few seconds, and he scratched his head, saying, “Well, it’s because I lost my parents at a young age, and most of the people who took care of me were men. After being with them for so long, I can’t help but feel that something is missing. It’s all that little Tangtang’s fault. When I talked to him about this, he told me… that it’s a sign of lacking Motherly love and suggested that I go to places with a lot of women to make up for it. Places with many women are… and then… ahem…”
“And then, you went to the brothels to find Motherly love?”
“Um.”
“Don’t tell me you couldn’t do anything to those courtesans because… you treated them like your own Mother?”
“Could… be.”
“…” This truth was truly beyond brutal! Li Yuan’s mouth twitched as her worldview was once again shattered.
Yan Ran noticed the contemptuous gaze Li Yuan cast on him and awkwardly explained, “There’s actually another reason.”
“Hmm?”
“Yuan Er, you don’t know; the housekeeper is really gossipy. If he ever found out that I had relationships with those women, he would definitely lecture me to the point of a mental breakdown.”
“….This is something you’ve indeed learned quite well from him!”
“Hey, Yuan Er, what did you just say?”
“…Nothing.”
“Oh, well, let’s discuss the baby’s name then.”
“We don’t even know if it’s a boy or a girl yet. It’s too early to talk about this.”
“Not early, not early, Yuan Er… Yuan Er… Yuan Er…”
In the spacious and leisurely courtyard, pear blossoms fluttered, and the conversation between the two could still be faintly heard, simple and heartwarming.
The gentle breeze brushed past, and the tree shadows swayed. Dimly visible were the red double happiness knots hanging from the branches of the pear tree. Bound by fate, the knots began and ended with a single line, intertwining and unyielding, just like their relationship.
Everything had been destined from the moment they first met!
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