Shoutout to Tachibanaswife for the commission!
Zhao Wang’s calm and leisurely expression finally showed a slight crack. He looked at me. “Not early?”
I nodded. “Indeed, not early!”
Zhao Wang asked again, “Time to go back and sleep?”
I nodded again. “If you still feel like talking, I can have someone invite the Crown Prince over, and you brothers can… um… exchange a bit?”
Zhao Wang stood up decisively and waved his hands. “No need, no need. Another day I’ll come chat with Third Sister-in-law again. I’ll take my leave today.”
I also hurriedly escorted him out. “Then I won’t see you far off, go slowly, take care!”
Although I said “go slowly,” my steps were anything but slow. Fortunately, Zhao Wang walked quickly as well; otherwise it would have looked like he was escorting me instead.
As soon as Zhao Wang left, I returned to my room and flopped onto the bed, feeling sore all over. Sigh, Lady Zhang’s little body looks good but is useless; it needs training!
Luli really was perceptive, before I even spoke, she came over and began massaging my shoulders and back. Her small hands pressed the right spots, but the strength was too light. I corrected her twice; she remembered, but after only a short while I told her to stop.
Luli looked at me in confusion.
I thought for a moment and said, “Go find a big cushion and put it under me.”
Seeing the doubt still in Luli’s eyes, I thought to myself, girl, it seems your chest is still small.
I gestured vaguely in front of my chest. “This… is pressing too much…”
Luli’s face reddened; she pressed her lips together and smiled, then hurried to fetch a cushion.
I sighed. In the past I only saw the advantages of big-chested beauties; who knew they also had unspeakable troubles…
Leaving aside the issue of sagging or not, doing anything is a burden!
Sigh… nothing is easy!
While lamenting the difficulties of big-chested girls, I fell asleep. In my dream, a green snake led me into a melon field; then I tripped on the vines and fell onto two large melons, which pressed painfully against my chest…
Strangely, even in the dream I knew I was dreaming. I figured the snake represented sexual symbolism, surely I was too sexually repressed. But what were the two big melons about?…
Just as I was pondering deeply, I heard Luli’s voice drifting in from afar: “Niang Niang, please get up. Today is Second Miss’s big day, you mustn’t be late.”
So I began wondering again, Second Miss? Fifth Miss used to trouble me often, but who is this Second Miss?
Luli hurriedly pulled me out of the blankets, and only then did I fully wake up, remembering that Second Miss was Lady Zhang’s younger sister and had nothing to do with my Fifth Miss.
At the same time, I realized there had been no melons, I’d simply fallen asleep face-down again.
Luli busied herself helping me wash and dress. I glanced outside the window; it was still dark, and I felt a bit of morning irritability. I didn’t say anything, but it showed on my face. Luli seemed not to notice and continued talking while working: “Today is Second Miss’s coming-of-age ceremony. I’ve heard the family prepared very carefully and invited many nobles to attend…”
My spirits immediately lifted. “Coming-of-age ceremony?”
Luli nodded, inserting a phoenix hairpin into my hair. “After the ceremony, Second Miss can be promised in marriage. I wonder which family she’ll marry into, let’s see who attends today…”
Oh, I understood now. What coming-of-age ceremony? It was basically a listing announcement, declaring to all the nobles of Shengdu: the Zhang family’s second daughter is officially on the market… ah, no, officially of marriageable age.
At last, Luli finished dressing me. As the most honored female guest, I attended Second Miss’s “listing announcement,” and discovered that the ceremony truly was grand; Second Miss truly was beautiful; and the guests truly were all… nobles and dignitaries.
Among the many guests, the graceful figures of “Lord Toilet” and “Lord Tree-Climber” appeared prominently.
My expression remained calm, but inside I felt like my balls were aching…
I almost wanted to ask: Minister of War, my father, how many good daughters do you actually have? Why does every daughter marry into power…
Second Miss looked quite pretty. Though her figure hadn’t fully matured, the outline of curves was already visible. She would surely become a beauty, just unknown who would benefit.
Thinking this, I glanced at the unmarried Lord Toilet and Lord Tree-Climber across the way.
Lord Toilet also looked calm; I believe he truly was calm.
Lord Tree-Climber’s expression also seemed calm, but I felt his heart probably ached like mine, because whenever his gaze swept across the osmanthus cakes on the table, he would inevitably glance at me again.
So, do you want to eat the osmanthus cakes or not?
While I was distracted, Luli gently tugged my sleeve from behind and whispered, “Niang Niang, look at that b*tch Lady Jiang, always making trouble. Look at that seductive manner!”
Actually, I had already noticed Lady Jiang without her reminder. Among all the bright colors and glittering ornaments, Lady Jiang stood out in a light green dress with only a jade hairpin slanted in her hair, fresh like a green onion.
Eh? Why isn’t she wearing white today?
I turned to look at Qi Sheng. His expression was calm, but his eyes were unstable, drifting toward Lady Jiang again and again. My heart followed his gaze, afraid that Qi Sheng might lose control and let the spear direct the man.
It’s not frightening when the spear directs the man; what’s frightening is when the spear keeps directing the man!
Sigh, those who’ve experienced it all understand…
Moreover, Lady Jiang really did look attractive today. Even I, only equipped with the sheath, felt my soul tremble twice, let alone you, who carry the spear.
Brother, you must hold on, hold on…
I believe in you…
Thus, I stayed anxious until the ceremony ended and the male and female guests separated. Only then did I finally relax and begin carefully observing the women present.
Lady Jiang aside, fresh as a green onion, pitifully charming.
Second Miss, though young, already showed signs of beauty, a good seedling.
The other cousins and sisters-in-law were also mostly slender and pretty.
It seemed the Zhang family truly had good genes, should this be credited to the “beautiful yet jealous” Old Madam Zhang?
I turned to glance at Old Madam Zhang on my right, then without hesitation shifted my gaze back to the youthful Second Miss. Yet that extra glance drew Old Madam Zhang’s attention.
Old Madam Zhang suddenly requested that since Second Miss had admired me, her elder sister, for a long time, and since today was her coming-of-age day, could I stay overnight at Second Miss’s Chufeng Pavilion so that she could accompany me for the night.
I nearly laughed foolishly when I heard this. Hey, this old lady, why are we thinking the same thing?
Seeing her look at me for my answer, I quickly nodded in agreement. Sleep then, sleep.
Who knew that this sleep would cause trouble.
I happily arrived at Second Miss’s Chufeng Pavilion, but instead of the youthful beauty, it was the “beautiful yet jealous” Old Madam Zhang waiting for me.
Old Madam Zhang had none of the respectful gentleness she showed during the day. With a stern wrinkled face, she barked coldly, “Kneel!”
I froze, not yet reacting, but Luli behind me had already swiftly knelt.
Seeing I hadn’t moved, Old Madam Zhang snapped angrily, “Do you truly think that because you’ve become Crown Princess, you cannot kneel to this old woman?”
I was even more surprised. Behind me, Luli secretly tugged my skirt and pleaded softly, “Eldest Miss, Eldest Miss.”
D*mn, this title was even worse than “Niang Niang.” At least I’d grown used to that one over the past half year.
Reluctantly, I lifted my skirt and knelt before Old Madam Zhang.
Old Madam Zhang struck the ground with her dragon-headed cane and scolded, “Luli said you were stimulated after falling into the water and your mind became confused. I think it’s not your mind that’s confused, but your heart! You’re foolish, so foolish you no longer resemble a daughter of the Zhang family!”
I lowered my head obediently and listened while secretly wondering, what play is this old lady performing?
Old Madam Zhang indignantly accused me: “First, you seek love from the imperial family, this is ignorance. Second, you used the matter of the imperial heir to frame Yingyue, this is stupidity. Third, you joked with Yang Yan inside the Eastern Palace, this is impropriety. Fourth, as Crown Princess, you neglect the affairs of the Eastern Palace, this is laxness. Such an ignorant, foolish, improper, and lax woman, how could she come from my Zhang family…”
The old lady was aged; her teeth were sparse, and droplets of spit floated down before my eyes…
I listened with my head lowered, thinking how unjust this was, I was more wronged than Dou E.
I only hoped she would finish scolding soon so I could wipe my face.
But the more she spoke, the angrier she became. Her momentum only increased.
And in the end, she almost angered herself unconscious.
Just as Old Madam Zhang reached the climax of her scolding, she suddenly fell silent. I looked up and saw her stiffly tipping backward. Luckily, I reacted quickly, stepped forward, and caught her. Luli rushed up from behind, shouting, “Old Madam, ”
I had already supported her, but with Luli crashing into us, all three of us fell to the ground together. I knew it, this woman can’t do anything except ruin things!
After hesitating briefly, I put Old Madam Zhang at the bottom. The weight of the three of us pressed her down so hard that she groaned, and unexpectedly regained consciousness.
Luli and I quickly helped her onto the bed. This time her anger was gone. She held my hand and said softly, “Foolish girl, don’t you understand? Once a woman enters the imperial harem, love is only an illusion. The only useful things are offspring and the strength of her maternal family!”
My hand trembled; I almost shook hers off.
But Old Madam Zhang gripped me tightly, half sitting up and staring into my eyes as she said word by word, “Girl, you must bear an imperial heir. You must! As soon as possible!”
Suppressing myself, I lowered my eyes and pretended gentleness. “But the Crown Prince doesn’t like me, what can I do?”
Old Madam Zhang snorted disdainfully. “Does Qi Sheng think our Zhang family are fools? Even if we were granted the position of Empress, what then? An empress without a son can be deposed with a single word. Does he think the Zhang family is so easily fooled?”
She paused, and my heart paused with her.
Then she continued, “I have already had your father send word to Qi Sheng. The day you give birth will be the day our Zhang family supports him in ascending the throne!”
D*mn it! Why did I catch you earlier? It would’ve been better if you’d just fallen!
Even when I went to bed that night, I was still absent-minded.
Luli also looked troubled. I couldn’t help asking, “Luli, why are you so worried?”
Luli looked at me with her innocent eyes and said sorrowfully, “Niang Niang, what if you give birth to a princess first?”
My mental state, which I had just barely stabilized, instantly collapsed. My mind filled only with a line once said by a certain monk from my previous life: “One litter, a princess; another litter, a princess; finally a litter of two princesses… and when she wanted to give birth to a crown prince, the emperor… had already died!”
