Shoutout to Tachibanaswife for the commission!
In the end it was Luli who softened and couldn’t bear to watch anymore. She cautiously asked me, “Niang Niang… you didn’t beat him… that… that… to death, did you?”
I stopped. Sure enough, Yang Yan was only lowering his head without movement. My heart jolted, revenge is justified, but causing a death would be excessive revenge.
Just as I was uncertain, Yang Yan seemed to move, coughed twice, then slowly turned his head back. His face was covered in water stains, who knew whether they were tears or the tea Luli had poured into him earlier. He silently stared at me for a while, then wiped his face and asked hoarsely: “How big a grudge is this? For you to strike so viciously…”
His question left me speechless; I didn’t know what to say.
Yang Yan sighed again. “The ancients were indeed correct, better offend a petty man than offend a woman!”
That sentence stepped squarely on my sore spot. The little bit of guilt I had just felt was instantly scattered by that word “woman.” Anger rose, and I immediately shouted: “Luli! Feed him osmanthus cakes, pour water!”
“Don’t! Don’t! Please don’t!” Yang Yan was so frightened he sprang up from the chair, darted several steps to the hall entrance, and shouted, “I’ll take my leave first, no need to see me off!”
He moved too fast, leaving me somewhat stunned. After a moment I turned to ask Luli, “What did he come for today?”
Before Luli could answer, Yang Yan suddenly returned but he didn’t dare step inside. He leaned at the doorway, poked his head in, and handed over several sheets of paper while calling out: “Song scores! Song scores! Ninth Brother asked me to deliver these folk tune scores to Niang Niang.”
If he hadn’t mentioned the song scores it would have been fine but once he did, I immediately remembered that day in the latrine, when I stood beside that “Lord Latrine,” fumbling and fumbling in embarrassment yet unable to take out anything. So without saying more, I loudly called: “Luli, pack osmanthus cakes for him!”
Yang Yan let out a miserable cry. “Are you even a woman?!” After shouting that, he didn’t even wait for the palace maids to collect the song sheets. He tossed them forward and ran off. By the time his next words reached me, he was already in the courtyard: “I will never eat osmanthus cakes again in this lifetime!”
Luli went to pick up the sheets one by one and returned them to me. She gently bit her lip, clearly conflicted, before finally saying: “Niang Niang, there’s something I don’t know whether I should say.”
Seeing how rarely she acted this way, I asked, “What is it? Go ahead.”
Luli carefully glanced at me and said softly, “Although the Ninth Prince and the Crown Prince are brothers, the Ninth Prince is already an adult. Niang Niang really shouldn’t accept song scores from him, lest people gossip that you and the Ninth Prince are privately exchanging things.”
I knew Luli was right and quickly nodded. “Noted. I’ll have less contact with them in the future.”
Seeing how agreeable I was, Luli smiled slightly.
But I was still bothered by Yang Yan’s earlier remark. I paced around the hall twice, still feeling irritated, and couldn’t help asking Luli: “Do I count as a woman?”
Luli immediately covered her mouth, her almond-shaped eyes widening. Her eyes reddened again as she comforted softly:
“Niang Niang, why would you ask such a thing? You are the most gentle and compliant woman in the world, not only beautiful, but with a wonderful temperament…”
Ha, Luli, you really know how to comfort people so well that it makes me want to die.
Seeing my expression grow gloomier, Luli hurriedly added: “If you don’t count as a woman, then only rough men remain in this world.”
Heavens, just let me die already!
On the Daughter’s Festival in the fifth month, people tie Duanwu cords and wear mugwort leaves and talismans of the Five Poisons. According to summer customs, from the first to the fifth day of the fifth month, young girls are dressed up in their finest styles. Married daughters also return to their parents’ homes, hence it is called the Daughter’s Festival.
For several days I remained depressed because I too had to celebrate this Daughter’s Festival along with a group of young ladies and married women.
Qi Sheng, who had sunk beneath the water for more than three months, finally surfaced saying he would accompany me back to my maiden home.
Return home, return home, return where, and peace where?
On the night before returning home, Luli happily arranged my luggage while I sat silently on the couch, propping my chin and watching her bustle around like a butterfly. She kept turning back to look at me, and seeing that I made no movements, she continued working.
But I was thinking: Qi Sheng already had a wife and concubines. The Daughter’s Festival only lasted a few days, how could he possibly visit so many fathers-in-law? I wanted to ask Luli, but then remembered I already had a reputation for being half-mad. If I asked random questions again, people might soon think I was foolish as well. Forget it, better not upset Luli.
But once a question entered my mind, it was like locking a restless spring cat inside, it wouldn’t stay still. Finally I couldn’t hold back and probed indirectly: “Luli, since we’re returning home, what about Huang Liangyuan and Chen Liangdi?”
“Them?” Luli turned to look at me. “Naturally they remain in the palace.”
“They don’t return to their families?” I asked in surprise. “I’m going back.”
Luli replied, “How can they compare with Niang Niang? You are the wife, they are concubines. You are the master, they are servants!”
I noticed the slight disdain on Luli’s face when she mentioned Huang Liangyuan and the others. Sigh, little Luli, if you keep thinking this way, sooner or later it will cause trouble. You’re still too young and don’t understand us men, what master or servant? Novelty is king! As the saying goes, the wife is not as good as the concubine, the concubine not as good as the stolen affair!
I had intended to properly educate Luli, but after thinking about it I gave up and sat quietly again.
But Luli kept talking while working: “Since last year’s Daughter’s Festival, Niang Niang hasn’t returned home for a whole year. The old madam and the Madam must miss you terribly. When you return this time you must talk with them properly. The young ladies at home haven’t seen you for a long time either. I wonder if the little miss has grown taller… The flowers and trees in the garden are always the best, who knows how they’ve bloomed this year…”
Her gentle murmuring gradually calmed my heart. Listening and listening, I became drowsy, until suddenly her tone changed, turning bitter: “It’s just hateful that that wretched Jiang woman is also going back, she’ll surely try to seduce the Crown Prince again!”
I was startled and subconsciously asked, “Going where?”
Luli replied angrily, “That wretch doesn’t even have a proper maiden home, she’ll definitely shamelessly follow us back to our residence.”
My mind instantly became a mess. I wanted to ask but didn’t dare; I stammered like someone constipated, my face flushed red.
Luli thought I was angry and quickly put down her work, crouching beside me to comfort me:
“Niang Niang, you mustn’t get upset. Even though that wretch now has the title of Wangfei, once she arrives at our home she’s still just a fallen relative. You are the legitimate eldest daughter, how could she, some distant cousin, compare with you?”
Well said, Luli, you’ve finally spoken words I like to hear.
Still, I never expected Lady Jiang to be related to Lady Zhang, so after all this it’s cousins fighting over one man? I’m embarrassed.
Luli thought I was still upset and continued softly: “Niang Niang, you are the Crown Princess, the future mother of the nation. Why quarrel with His Highness over Lady Jiang? No matter what, you are the properly married principal wife. Lady Jiang is already Zhao Wangfei, His Highness’s younger brother’s wife. No matter how seductive she is, what trouble could she really cause?”
I looked at Luli and thought: girl, you’re still too naive. You don’t understand men. As we said earlier, the wife is not as good as the concubine, the concubine not as good as the stolen affair. But do you know there’s something after “stolen”? The one you can’t steal, that’s the one kept deepest in a man’s heart.
Besides, what’s wrong with a younger brother’s wife? Didn’t Yang Guifei become the consort of Emperor Minghuang even though she had once been his son’s wife? Titles aren’t the problem. Moreover, didn’t Qi Sheng say to Lady Jiang: “…wait for me for a while, alright?”
Wait for a while, for what?
Naturally to wait until the old emperor dies, Qi Sheng becomes the new emperor, and then find a way to take Lady Jiang for himself.
What a melodramatic palace drama! And I’m the most vicious cannon-fodder female supporting character in it!
D*mn that Star Lord of Fate, if you want my life to be tragic, at least give me a male supporting role!
I lowered my head and stared at my full “chest muscles” with grief and indignation for a long while… If only they were on my wife, how great that would be!
When I looked up again, Luli was watching me with worried eyes…
Forget it, better wash up and sleep.
Perhaps my resentment toward the Star Lord of Fate moved heaven and earth, because that night I actually dreamed of him. He looked the same as before. When he saw me, he acted shyly for a moment before saying: “As expected, this body suits you better than your original one.”
I had already grabbed him by the throat, but hearing that I loosened my grip and instead grabbed his collar, narrowing my eyes: “So you’re saying my original body wasn’t handsome enough?”
The Star Lord of Fate quickly said, “Handsome, handsome, handsome.”
Satisfied, I released him, but then suddenly realized something was wrong. I grabbed his throat again with both hands and shouted angrily: “Is this how you repay me? Fine if you won’t let me be Crown Prince, but why give me a female body to toy with me? Hurry! If you know what’s good for you, send me back to my original body! Otherwise… don’t blame me for being rude!”
The Star Lord of Fate coughed under my grip and hurriedly said: “Let go! If you use force against me, it won’t end well for you!”
“I’m already like this, what retribution am I afraid of?” I tightened my grip and roared, “Send me back! Back!”
“You can’t go back!” the Star Lord of Fate shouted, his face turning red.
