Chapter 48
Ji Qingzhou was already well-practiced in handling nosebleeds. He knew that one should never tilt their head back when it happened—last time he had told Li Zhan to tilt his head, and it nearly caused Li Zhan to choke on his own blood.
Before long, an inner attendant brought over some ice, and Ji Qingzhou once again wrapped it in a cloth and gently applied a cold compress to Li Zhan’s nose.
The ice stored in the palace had barely been used this summer. Who would’ve thought that the few times it had been brought out, it was all for icing Li Zhan’s nose?
“Are you really sure we shouldn’t call a physician from the Imperial Physician Courtyard to take a look?” Ji Qingzhou asked, repeating the same concern as last time.
“No need,” Li Zhan muttered. “It doesn’t hurt much—I don’t think it’s anything serious.”
Ji Qingzhou wanted to say, “Then how are you bleeding if you’re not hurt?” but he knew Li Zhan was unusually averse to seeing doctors, so he didn’t press further. Judging by the force of the impact on his own forehead, the blow had been hard, but probably not enough to cause serious harm. Otherwise, his own forehead might have been in worse shape.
Li Zhan felt somewhat awkward facing Ji Qingzhou now. He took the cloth-wrapped ice from Ji Qingzhou’s hands and held it himself, signaling that Ji Qingzhou didn’t need to fuss over him anymore. Ever since he had learned that the person in Fengxian Pavilion that night had been Ji Qingzhou, his feelings whenever he faced him had become quite complicated.
That’s how it was with men—once something had been spelled out in their own hearts, their thoughts ran wild and couldn’t be reined in. That restless, burgeoning desire inside began to spread like unchecked weeds. And with the person right in front of him, practically within reach, those thoughts became even harder to suppress…
At this moment, Li Zhan actually felt somewhat relieved that he hadn’t spoken the truth out loud to Ji Qingzhou.
Otherwise, given the nature of their current relationship, Li Zhan truly wouldn’t know how to face him.
If Ji Qingzhou felt the same way he did, then of course Li Zhan could openly and honestly pursue him. Even if Ji Qingzhou wasn’t easily moved, Li Zhan’s heart was upright—he wouldn’t fear rejection. But the issue was that Ji Qingzhou had drunk that medicine, which meant he couldn’t develop feelings for him. If Li Zhan insisted on clinging or crossed any lines, even slightly, he himself would feel as if he had taken advantage.
The more he cherished Ji Qingzhou, the less he wanted to place either of them in such a position.
He wanted to win someone over, but only in a way that was open and honorable. Even the slightest trace of impure motive was unacceptable.
Ji Qingzhou’s forehead had also taken a bump and was now slightly red. The young emperor, seeing this, couldn’t help but reach out to rub it for him—only for the red spot to grow redder the more he rubbed. Ji Qingzhou had no choice but to gently grab the little hand to stop him. The young emperor didn’t insist but simply leaned against Ji Qingzhou’s chest and kept his eyes fixed on Li Zhan.
Though he was still very young and not quite clear on many things, the young emperor vaguely sensed something.
The moment he woke up and opened his eyes earlier had left a vivid impression on him.
He hadn’t seen such a thing often, but he remembered that his late father used to kiss his mother on the forehead just like that.
He couldn’t quite grasp what kind of connection Li Zhan and Ji Qingzhou shared, or how it might be similar to his parents. But to him, the discovery was amusing—especially since the one who had wanted to sneak a kiss was his usually stern and cold imperial uncle. It made him want to tell someone even more.
Except every time he tried to bring it up, Li Zhan would always silence him with a look.
The young emperor was no stranger to this kind of “battle” with Li Zhan. He was well aware that particular look carried a warning.
“Imperial Uncle…” Only when Ji Qingzhou turned to give orders to the palace attendants outside did the young emperor sneak up to Li Zhan and ask in a whisper, “Imperial Uncle, were you trying to secretly kiss Ji Gonggong just now?”
That one sentence, coming from the mouth of the young emperor, was like a lightning strike to Li Zhan’s psyche!
He immediately reached out to clamp his hand over the boy’s mouth, his gaze flashing guiltily toward the entrance of the hall.
The young emperor was muffled and couldn’t speak, but his eyes sparkled with amusement. When Li Zhan lowered his head and met those playful, knowing eyes, his temper completely melted. He leaned close to whisper, “Yes… but you have to keep it a secret for Imperial Uncle.”
“Why though?” the young emperor asked, clearly curious about the whole thing.
Li Zhan quickly covered his mouth again and said, “No asking. And especially—especially—don’t bring it up in front of him. Do you understand?”
The young emperor nodded seriously, then stuck out his pinky finger to hook around Li Zhan’s finger.
Just as Ji Qingzhou finished instructing the palace attendants and came back inside, he caught sight of this strange little interaction and looked surprised.
“I’m helping Imperial Uncle keep a secret,” the young emperor declared to Ji Qingzhou.
Ji Qingzhou glanced over at Li Zhan. His expression remained calm and unreadable—but the tips of his ears had turned slightly red, revealing a trace of embarrassment.
Soon, the palace attendants entered and helped the young emperor wash up and tidy himself.
Since Li Zhan hadn’t eaten lunch earlier, he stayed at Fu’an Palace and grabbed a quick bite.
In the afternoon, Dong Dong came with a message: the Old Wang Ye’s remains had been brought back to Prince An Residence, and the mourning hall had already been arranged.
According to tradition, Li Zhan and the young emperor were not required to keep vigil for the deceased Old Wang Ye, but they did have to make an appearance to offer their condolences.
The attendants from the Inner Attendant Department had already prepared mourning attire as soon as they received the news and had it delivered right away.
Everyone changed into their mourning clothes and left the palace for Prince An Residence.
The entire residence was draped in plain white mourning decorations.
Because of the presence of Li Zhan and the young emperor, all the visiting officials and nobles had temporarily cleared the way, leaving the mourning hall rather quiet and empty.
Ji Qingzhou entered the mourning hall along with Li Zhan and the young emperor, and saw Prince Heng kneeling on one side of the hall. His eyes were bloodshot, and his expression looked numb. However, when he glanced up and noticed Ji Qingzhou, his expression involuntarily shifted.
After Li Zhan and the young emperor finished their condolence rites, Li Zhan whispered a few words into Ji Qingzhou’s ear, asking him to take the young emperor outside to wait for a while, as he had some things to discuss with Prince Heng.
Ji Qingzhou followed the instruction and led the young emperor out, never once glancing at Prince Heng.
But Prince Heng’s gaze stayed fixed on Ji Qingzhou until his figure disappeared from view.
Li Zhan approached Prince Heng and knelt beside him, facing the coffin of Old Wang Ye with an indifferent expression.
“Third Brother, have you finally gotten what you wanted?” Prince Heng asked with a bitter smile.
“Don’t tell me you intend to congratulate me at a time like this?” Li Zhan replied. “It’s rather inappropriate in front of Imperial Uncle.”
Prince Heng turned to look at him and said, “Third Brother, you’ve made a big fuss — refusing the marriage, swearing an oath before the court officials. All the ministers believe you sacrificed everything for Dayu and the Li family’s throne. Yet they don’t realize you effortlessly took away what our imperial brother entrusted to me back then.”
“If you want it, I’ll give it to you another day,” Li Zhan said calmly.
“Heh….” Prince Heng chuckled dryly. “You speak lightly, Third Brother. Do you think everything in Dayu is now yours to summon and dismiss at will? If I want something, do I just have to act obedient in front of you, and you’ll give it to me?”
Li Zhan glanced at him coldly and said, “As long as you behave yourself, I won’t trouble you.”
“So you’re telling me how to pledge loyalty to you on behalf of Imperial Uncle?” Prince Heng asked.
“To serve Imperial Uncle faithfully is for your own good,” Li Zhan said.
“You can say that so easily, but do you dare to ask Imperial Brother’s spirit if he agrees that it’s ‘for my own good’?” Prince Heng said angrily.
Li Zhan’s expression remained calm, and after a moment he said, “When the time comes, I will ask him. But I have more than just this matter to ask about…”
Prince Heng’s face changed sharply. He turned to look at Li Zhan, his eyes full of surprise.
After a moment of realization, he said in a daze, “Third Brother… what exactly do you want to do?”
“To do what I’ve always wanted to do,” Li Zhan replied.
The mourning hall fell silent. Prince Heng’s expression first turned to disbelief, then to panic, and finally he shook his head, muttering, “Impossible, impossible… You can’t, you simply can’t.”
“Right and wrong, black and white—there must be an explanation,” Li Zhan said calmly, forming a sharp contrast to Prince Heng’s anxious demeanor.
Prince Heng shook his head, unsure whether he felt more fear or more shock.
Prince Heng had feared his brother Li Zhan most since childhood. Though their eldest brother the Crown Prince seemed more authoritative, and their second brother often acted like the elder due to his age, Li Zhan rarely showed airs, always wearing a calm expression—but Prince Heng found it especially difficult to get close to him.
Just like now, kneeling side by side with Li Zhan, whose tone and expression were gentle, Prince Heng still felt a pressure from him that nearly suffocated him.
“Fourth Brother… you’re always like this,” Li Zhan said. “You shrink back when you should fight, then later act full of regret. But from start to finish, you never wanted to pay the price to change anything. By now, you should understand… regret after the fact is useless. Not everyone gets a second chance in life.”
Prince Heng looked at Li Zhan and asked, “What do you mean by that? If there’s no second chance, why do you get one? Why do you insist on forcing it?”
Li Zhan’s lips curled into a faint smile as he replied, “I do have that chance, so I can’t waste it.”
Prince Heng clearly couldn’t understand what Li Zhan meant—if no one could start over, how did Li Zhan have a chance?
“Why… are you so obsessed with this?” Prince Heng asked. “Don’t you realize that once you start, many people will be dragged in? Don’t you care about the reputation your Imperial Brother left behind?”
“Imperial Brother’s reputation?” Li Zhan looked at Prince Heng with a hint of sarcasm. “I think what you really care about is yourself. You should know very well what you did back then…”
Prince Heng’s face instantly turned pale, and his breathing grew hurried.
How could Li Zhan threaten him with this? What had he done? How could Li Zhan possibly know?
But Li Zhan wasn’t willing to argue further and only said, “What I said today still stands: as long as you behave yourself, I won’t touch you… otherwise…”
He didn’t finish the second half of his sentence, but the warning in his tone was unmistakable.
After speaking, Li Zhan quickly left the mourning hall. Prince Heng remained kneeling there, dazed and unable to recover for quite some time.
It wasn’t until a household servant came over and whispered something into his ear that he finally stirred.
Prince Heng was silent for a moment, then his expression changed drastically as he stood up and followed the servant out of the mourning hall.
The officials and nobles waiting outside to offer condolences were all confused by the scene. They had just been allowed to go in and pay their respects, and now the one who was supposed to be in mourning for Old Wang Ye had simply walked off. It seemed rather inappropriate. Once the condolences were done, there wouldn’t even be a family member left to offer thanks or receive comfort.
The ceremonial officer in charge of the funeral was visibly embarrassed by the situation and had to keep making excuses to smooth things over.
Fortunately, everyone knew that Prince Heng was only keeping vigil for Old Wang Ye because Li Zhan had ordered him to. Prince Heng was still immature in temperament, and while they didn’t approve, they at least could somewhat understand—and wouldn’t voice their discontent openly.
Prince Heng followed the servant to a side room in the rear courtyard. Inside stood a man who appeared to be a guard. Prince Heng dismissed the servant and asked in a cold voice, “You’d better have found something useful. I’m in a foul mood today.”
“Wang Ye…” The man cupped his hands in greeting and said, “The physician from the clinic has been found.”
“Really?” Prince Heng looked surprised. “Did you get anything out of him? Did Ji Qingzhou seek him out because of that medicine granted by the Ministry of Appointments?”
The man looked rather conflicted as he replied, “At first, he refused to speak. I had to resort to torture before he finally confessed… He said that Young Master Ji came looking for him in search of abortion medicine.”
“Ha… what a joke. Ji Qingzhou’s a man—why would he be looking for childbearing medicine?” Prince Heng scoffed mid-sentence, but his expression suddenly froze. The next moment, all the things he had previously ignored came crashing together unexpectedly in his mind.
Back when those rumors about Fengxian Pavilion had run wild in the palace, Tu Dayou had once come to ask a favor. At the time, Prince Heng hadn’t paid it much attention and casually gave someone the order to follow Tu Dayou’s instructions. But thinking about it now, in this palace, who else could Tu Dayou go to such lengths to protect except Ji Qingzhou?
So… the attendant in Fengxian Pavilion that night was Ji Qingzhou.
And Tu Dayou had sought his help on two occasions—once to cover up what had happened in Fengxian Pavilion, and once to get the abortion medicine.
These two events, when connected together, transformed from impossible to entirely plausible.
Besides, even though Prince Heng had never witnessed it himself, he had heard about it—men conceiving children wasn’t something completely unheard of.
If others could, why not Ji Qingzhou?
“Ji Qingzhou actually…” A look of disgust flashed across Prince Heng’s face—his expression a mix of anger and resentment.
There was no need to guess whose child it was. The incident had occurred in Fengxian Pavilion. Back when he heard the rumors, he’d already doubted it had been a random guard. After all, the person who frequented Fengxian Pavilion most often was Li Zhan.
After a long silence, he said in a low voice, “It’s Third Brother’s… It must be Third Brother’s… So he and Third Brother have already…”
Even though he’d often taken jabs at Ji Qingzhou about this, he had never truly believed it might be real!
But Ji Qingzhou had really gone that far with Li Zhan… For a moment, Prince Heng felt utterly consumed by rage, nearly losing control of his emotions.
The guard beside him saw that Prince Heng looked like he was on the verge of a breakdown and quickly reminded him, “Your Highness, now isn’t the time to be angry.”
“You’re right… You’re right…” Prince Heng took a deep breath, trying hard to calm himself down, then said, “Now’s not the time to be angry.”
Ji Qingzhou was carrying Li Zhan’s child…
Ji Qingzhou was carrying Li Zhan’s child!
That thought kept echoing in Prince Heng’s mind until, after a long while, another question struck him. He asked, “Why did he go to get the abortion medicine himself? And why did he ask Tu Dayou for help back then?”
It didn’t make sense!
Unless… unless Li Zhan didn’t know?
Prince Heng quickly pieced it together. Regarding the incident at Fengxian Pavilion, Tu Dayou had once traced the culprit behind the drugging. Though Prince Heng hadn’t followed up closely, he knew some details. That night, Li Zhan hadn’t been in his right mind—so he hadn’t known who the other person was…
“Yes. Given the Regent’s nature, if he knew, he wouldn’t have ignored Young Master Ji,” the guard said.
“You’re right,” Prince Heng responded. “If Third Brother knew there was such a child, how could he have said those things during morning court? He would be desperate for Ji Qingzhou to help him carry this bastard to term, so that they could…”
Prince Heng furrowed his brow. Suddenly, a realization struck him.
The guard clearly thought of the same thing and reminded him, “The Regent’s actions at the morning court today clearly weren’t just about rejecting the marriage. Otherwise, he wouldn’t have immediately had Your Highness keep vigil for the Old Wang Ye, nor would he have taken over the administrative authority of the Ministry of Appointments from Your Highness.”
“Because he’s trying to do something… something that should be impossible,” Prince Heng said.
The guard fell silent for a moment, then asked, “That matter… Your Highness…”
Prince Heng spoke coldly, “He said he wouldn’t move against me—do you believe that? It’d be fine if he fails, but if he succeeds, do you think I can walk away unscathed? Second Brother nearly lost his life back then. If he rises again one day and learns what I once did… he would never let me go. Even if Third Brother doesn’t touch me, he certainly will!”
“The Regent used that oath at court to show all the ministers that he has no ambitions to usurp the throne. So even if he wants to do something in the future, even if there are dissenters, most officials won’t dare oppose him too harshly,” the guard said. “But what if he himself breaks that vow?”
Prince Heng froze for a second, then immediately understood what the other meant.
Given what he knew of Li Zhan, once Li Zhan learned about Ji Qingzhou’s child, there was no way he’d leave it alone. If, by that time, the court officials all knew the truth, then Li Zhan would be seen as having broken his own oath. His credibility and authority among the ministers would plummet… and that would make it nearly impossible for him to accomplish what he set out to do.
“Don’t let that physician die. In three days, when court resumes, I’ll bring him to the court myself,” Prince Heng said coldly.
“Wang Ye…” the guard spoke up, “I actually think there’s a better way.”
Prince Heng turned to look at him. The guard continued, “Since the Regent doesn’t yet know about this, if you expose it directly in court, you’ll completely offend him. Even if he drops that matter, how could he possibly let Wang Ye off in the future?”
“You mean…”
“Since Young Master Ji seems quite worried about the child, if he can’t withstand the pressure and confesses to the Regent himself, then half the job is already done,” the guard explained. “By then, it won’t be difficult to leak the information, no matter through whom.”
Prince Heng nodded. “And if Ji Qingzhou doesn’t confess to him?”
“Then Wang Ye can give him a little push. As the Chief Steward of the Inner Attendant Department, without the Regent’s backing, he’ll never be able to keep that child hidden for long,” the guard said. “Once he realizes Wang Ye knows the truth, he’ll have only one choice left.”
Even if the matter were left alone, in a month or two, wouldn’t the pregnancy be impossible to conceal anyway?
But right now, they were pressed for time. If they wanted to stop Li Zhan, they’d have to stir things up now…
On the way back to the palace, the young emperor dozed off in Ji Qingzhou’s arms.
Li Zhan glanced at Ji Qingzhou and, after a moment, subtly shifted a little closer and asked, “Didn’t you say you had something to tell me after morning court? Why haven’t you said anything yet?”
Ji Qingzhou paused for a second, thinking to himself: Isn’t it because your oath during morning court messed up my plans?
Besides, Li Zhan had seemed distracted all day. Ji Qingzhou could tell something was on his mind, which made it even harder to bring up what he wanted to say.
“Wang Ye… why did you make such a vow in court today?” Ji Qingzhou asked.
“You think I shouldn’t have?” Li Zhan looked at him.
Ji Qingzhou shook his head. “It’s not that I think you shouldn’t have… I was just surprised.”
“The throne, heirs… things many people care about deeply, I don’t. So that vow meant little to me. Just words, nothing worth being shocked over,” Li Zhan said calmly.
That made sense, Ji Qingzhou thought to himself.
After all, this was Li Zhan’s second life—reincarnated as the same person. Everything he had done in his past life already had a predetermined ending. So when facing life anew, the choices he made and what he valued were naturally different.
Especially those obsessions common people had—glory, family legacy, continuing the bloodline—were probably meaningless in Li Zhan’s current life. Ji Qingzhou guessed that Li Zhan’s worldview now resembled that of some young people in the modern world—free from rigid customs and values, simply doing what they believed was right.
It wasn’t hard to understand.
Seeing that Ji Qingzhou didn’t look particularly surprised, Li Zhan added, “Let me ask you—if you had the chance to trade something you didn’t care about for something you deeply valued, would you do it?”
“Of course….” Ji Qingzhou replied. “That’s a great deal.”
Hearing that, a faint smile appeared on Li Zhan’s lips. “Then I’ve made a profit.”
From those words, Ji Qingzhou could vaguely sense some deeper meaning.
Li Zhan didn’t seem inclined to hide it and continued, “I want to do something. But for that, I need the court’s support. Without it, it would all be meaningless. Right now, the officials pity me. I need to get it done before their sympathy runs out.”
Ji Qingzhou immediately understood.
Li Zhan had planned this all along!
“Is it something very important?” Ji Qingzhou asked.
“Yes.” Li Zhan looked at Ji Qingzhou seriously. “So important that I must do it—no matter the cost.”
Ji Qingzhou felt overwhelmed. The words he had originally intended to say became even harder to voice now.
“You might think I’m a little crazy…” Li Zhan suddenly said.
“No, I think it’s great,” Ji Qingzhou replied. “There are too many people in this capital who don’t even have the right to make choices. And of those who do, how many can truly pick up or let go when it counts? The fact that you can pursue what you truly want—I envy that.”
Li Zhan looked at Ji Qingzhou, his gaze burning. “One day, you’ll be able to as well.”
Ji Qingzhou didn’t think much of it. He simply took it as a kind reassurance and nodded gently without saying more.
Li Zhan still gazed at him. After a pause, he asked, “Will you… stand by my side?”
Ji Qingzhou was briefly stunned, then replied, “Of course. I still owe Wang Ye forty-seven thousand six hundred taels of silver.”
Li Zhan: “…”
Just before the carriage arrived at the palace gates, the young emperor woke up.
He leaned lazily against Ji Qingzhou for a while. Then, perhaps feeling bored, his eyes started darting back and forth between Li Zhan and Ji Qingzhou.
Taking advantage of Ji Qingzhou’s inattention, the young emperor pointed at his own forehead, then at Ji Qingzhou’s, then at Li Zhan’s. Li Zhan, fearing he might blurt out something inappropriate on a whim, instantly tensed up as if facing a great enemy, alert to every move, ready to cover the boy’s mouth at any moment.
But unexpectedly, the young emperor kept his word. He had promised Li Zhan he wouldn’t say anything—and he really didn’t.
Instead, for some mischievous reason, he chuckled at Li Zhan for a while, then wrapped his arms around Ji Qingzhou’s neck and gave him a loud smooch on the forehead.
And he wasn’t done yet—he continued hugging Ji Qingzhou while laughing gleefully at Li Zhan.
Li Zhan: “…”
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arghhh i love it!