Chapter 68
Li Zhan’s kiss was forceful and passionate, filled with an unhidden, desperate longing.
Ji Qingzhou instinctively grabbed at his robe, feeling nearly breathless under the intensity of the kiss.
After a long moment, Li Zhan reluctantly let go, then pressed his forehead tenderly against Ji Qingzhou’s, lingering with affection.
Meanwhile, one of his hands still held tightly onto Ji Qingzhou’s wrist, clearly with no intention of letting go.
Ji Qingzhou’s wrist grew sore from the grip, so he gently reminded him, “Wang Ye, your grip is too strong.”
Li Zhan loosened his hold slightly but still didn’t release him completely.
“I dare not let go, afraid you’ll run off again like last time,” Li Zhan said.
Ji Qingzhou paused, looking up at him. Though the night obscured Li Zhan’s facial details, he could feel the intense gaze fixed on him—there was absolutely no sign of drunkenness.
“Last time… you… weren’t you drunk and didn’t remember anything?” Ji Qingzhou asked instinctively.
“You only thought I didn’t remember. I actually remember everything,” Li Zhan said, staring at the youth.
Only then did Ji Qingzhou realize he probably knew nothing about Li Zhan’s true tolerance for alcohol.
This was far beyond anything he had expected…
So that kiss that night—Li Zhan had remembered it all along.
If that was true, then all the awkwardness and unusual behavior Li Zhan had shown since then—had Li Zhan seen it all, even if he hadn’t spoken of it? Ji Qingzhou had thought no one had noticed.
Come to think of it, Li Zhan’s attitude toward him did seem to have changed since that night. Where before he had been very restrained, afterward he would casually touch Ji Qingzhou’s belly, bathe with him, and even arrange for him to move into Yinghui Pavilion…
Back then Ji Qingzhou hadn’t realized any of this, but now it seemed Li Zhan might have seen right through his feelings from the start.
“Did you… figure it out a long time ago?” Ji Qingzhou asked.
Li Zhan raised an eyebrow and looked at him seriously. “Figure out what?”
Ji Qingzhou felt embarrassed and whispered, “Figure it out… figure it out…”
How could he possibly say it outright? Was he really going to ask Li Zhan if he had seen through his feelings?
Li Zhan reached out and gently stroked Ji Qingzhou’s ear, noticing the youth’s skin was almost burning with heat. Though the night hid the youth’s expression, Li Zhan knew his whole face was probably flushed red.
Li Zhan recalled how, that night after their kiss, Ji Qingzhou had fled in panic. Li Zhan had been inexperienced then—drunk and uncertain how to handle the situation. He didn’t know whether he should chase him or not, and by the time he decided, the moment had passed.
When they met the next day, Ji Qingzhou’s cautious, tentative behavior had made Li Zhan restless with desire. But he didn’t want to embarrass the youth, so he pretended to have forgotten everything.
At that time, Li Zhan knew Ji Qingzhou wasn’t ready to fully accept him, perhaps not even fully aware of his own feelings. But from the shy evasions and stolen glances, Li Zhan had slowly pieced together what Ji Qingzhou felt.
At first, he wasn’t sure, afraid he was just imagining it.
But every time he drew close, there was never any rejection. No matter how embarrassed Ji Qingzhou got, he always accepted Li Zhan’s affection.
Li Zhan knew it wasn’t just because of his position—because in Ji Qingzhou’s eyes, there was no trace of dislike or resistance. The most obvious emotion was shyness. When one person is affectionate toward another and the other feels shy, the feelings behind that are clear.
Li Zhan had little experience in romance, but he wasn’t oblivious.
Until the day Tang Shu told him that Ji Qingzhou’s medicine had worn off…
That news was like confirmation. It made Li Zhan all the more certain that Ji Qingzhou had feelings for him.
That was enough…
“Yeah, I figured it out,” Li Zhan said, no longer wanting to tease him and simply admitting the truth.
Ji Qingzhou: …
This… was nothing like how he had imagined it would go.
The thought that Li Zhan had seen right through his feelings all along, yet pretended nothing was wrong while Ji Qingzhou had been secretly sneaking glances at him every day — it made Ji Qingzhou want to disappear into a hole.
“You came… I’m really happy,” Li Zhan said sincerely, looking at the youth.
Ji Qingzhou lowered his head slightly and replied, “I was afraid you’d be lonely by yourself.”
“Mm.” Li Zhan acknowledged softly, then cautiously asked, “Are you still feeling a little upset?”
Hearing this, Ji Qingzhou looked up at him, only for Li Zhan to add, “Will you hold me for a while?”
Ji Qingzhou hadn’t expected this request. Though awkward, he still reached out and embraced Li Zhan.
Li Zhan was taller and bigger than Ji Qingzhou, so the way Ji Qingzhou hugged him looked more like burying his head into Li Zhan’s chest. Li Zhan leaned in to feel the warmth in his arms, then wrapped both arms fully around the youth.
This was their first clear, mutual, and sober embrace.
The hug was full of a steady sense of comfort, yet carried an undercurrent of thrilling emotion.
“Qingzhou…” Li Zhan murmured, softly calling Ji Qingzhou’s name.
Ji Qingzhou lifted his head to look at him but was pulled even closer by the tightening embrace.
“Thank you,” Li Zhan said again.
“Y-you’re welcome…” Ji Qingzhou stammered.
As soon as Ji Qingzhou finished speaking, Li Zhan let out a soft laugh near his ear. The warm breath stirred something inside Ji Qingzhou’s heart, but at the same time, as if their feelings were connected, he sensed an emotion deep within Li Zhan.
So he quietly asked, “You… haven’t cried yet, have you?”
“Mm,” Li Zhan answered, “Do you want to see me cry? If you want, I’ll cry for you.”
There was a teasing tone in Li Zhan’s voice, but Ji Qingzhou felt that if he really asked, Li Zhan might just do it.
Tonight, Li Zhan’s attitude toward him felt different than before—but it wasn’t unfamiliar.
Looking back, Li Zhan’s feelings for him had been slowly shifting for quite some time, but Ji Qingzhou had been distracted and Li Zhan was always very restrained, so he had never noticed.
Now it was different.
One kiss, one active embrace, seemed to shatter Li Zhan’s restraint and mask in an instant.
The Li Zhan before him now was completely unguarded.
The sharp edges and coldness were gone, replaced by a tenderness and indulgence he had never openly shown before.
“Do you want me to cry for you?” Li Zhan asked again.
Ji Qingzhou smiled wryly, “I’m just worried you’d feel bad holding it all in… I don’t really want to see you cry.”
“Feeling bad is always hard, but right now it’s better,” Li Zhan said.
Then Li Zhan loosened his hold a little, looking down at the youth as he asked, “Can you stay today? Don’t leave?”
“Ah?” Ji Qingzhou was taken aback and his body stiffened honestly.
For some reason, Li Zhan’s words immediately brought to mind all sorts of indescribable things. Like in movies, when one person says “Want to come upstairs for a bit?” the next scene is bound to show… well, those kinds of moments…
Ji Qingzhou wasn’t opposed to being close with Li Zhan—it was just…
He remembered that night months ago in Fengxian Pavilion and felt aches all over.
He really didn’t want to go through that again… it had been too terrifying!
Sensing the youth’s nervousness, Li Zhan immediately realized he must have overthought it.
He didn’t want to scare him now, so quickly said, “I just want you to keep me company.”
Ji Qingzhou finally relaxed a bit and nodded, agreeing to stay.
Li Zhan was very considerate—when he said he wanted company, that was all he wanted.
Ji Qingzhou was with child; Li Zhan wouldn’t dare act rashly. Plus, he didn’t want to appear too eager right away—scaring him off would be a complete loss.
They still had a long life ahead of them, and there would be time to do everything they wished, little by little…
The next morning, when Ji Qingzhou woke up, he saw Li Zhan right by his side. One arm supported his head while the other rested gently on Ji Qingzhou’s slightly rounded belly. Ji Qingzhou had no idea how long he had been lying there like that and immediately felt a bit self-conscious.
When Li Zhan saw that he had woken, he quickly asked, “Did I press on you?”
As he spoke, he instinctively eased the pressure of his hand. In truth, he hadn’t dared to let the full weight of his hand rest on Ji Qingzhou’s belly in the first place—afraid that if he misjudged the pressure, he might disturb the child—so his hand had been hovering gently all along.
“No,” Ji Qingzhou replied.
“That’s good,” Li Zhan said softly, lowering his voice to an exaggeratedly gentle tone—one even more dramatic than when he coaxed the young emperor out of bed. “Are you awake now? Want to get up?”
Ji Qingzhou: …
He was pregnant, not a child!
Li Zhan’s tone left him both helpless and amused…
“I’ll help you up,” Li Zhan said, reaching out to support him.
Ji Qingzhou couldn’t bring himself to be angry at him with that kind of care. He didn’t get up right away, though—instead, he sat on the bed wrapped in the blanket for a while longer.
Li Zhan suddenly had a look of realization, a faint teasing smile tugging at his lips.
Ever since the effects of Ji Qingzhou’s medicine had worn off, mornings had come with small, inconvenient… frustrations.
Today’s particular trouble happened to be caught by Li Zhan—there was no way to avoid it—which made Ji Qingzhou feel all the more awkward.
After a long while, once everything had settled, Ji Qingzhou finally emerged from under the blanket.
Li Zhan personally handed him the washbasin and towels. After Ji Qingzhou washed up, Li Zhan brought his clothes over so he could change. The care he showed now was even more attentive than when he used to serve Ji Qingzhou back in Yinghui Pavilion.
Ji Qingzhou had never been in a romantic relationship before, and this was the first time he realized that when two people were together… it actually worked like this?
Wasn’t this… a little too sweet?
“Wang Ye… you don’t have to go to such lengths,” Ji Qingzhou said with a wry smile.
“But I can’t help it,” Li Zhan replied. “Don’t you like it when I treat you this way?”
Ji Qingzhou looked at him and saw a flicker of nervousness in his eyes. His heart softened immediately, and he said, “No… however Wang Ye wants to treat me, then treat me that way.”
People were like that—maybe once the novelty wore off, things would feel more normal again.
Ji Qingzhou thought to himself…
“Really?” Li Zhan asked.
Ji Qingzhou nodded, though he had a sneaking suspicion that he might have been too hasty.
Sure enough, Li Zhan pulled him down to sit and asked, “Then can I touch your belly again?”
Ji Qingzhou was speechless—Hadn’t you already been touching it all morning? If you’re not tired of it, the baby probably is!
But Li Zhan looked at him with such eager eyes that Ji Qingzhou didn’t have the heart to refuse. He could only nod.
With permission, Li Zhan reached out and gently placed his hand on Ji Qingzhou’s lower abdomen.
His movements were soft and careful, and his gaze burned with warmth, and perhaps even a bit of sadness.
“Before Second Brother left, he told me… he said this child would definitely be a good one,” Li Zhan said quietly. “I think, for a moment, Second Brother must have hesitated. He probably really wanted to see the child born with his own eyes.”
Hearing this, Ji Qingzhou’s nose suddenly stung with emotion. He placed his hand over the back of Li Zhan’s.
Li Zhan turned his hand over and laced their fingers together, palms pressed flush, exchanging a warmth that offered a deep sense of peace.
Li Zhan’s eyes turned slightly red, but he didn’t cry. After a moment, he continued, “I heard from Dong Dong that what happened at General’s Tomb was all thanks to you. I hadn’t expected Minister Zhang to come looking for you…” At the time, Li Zhan had been in a terrible state and hadn’t thought to intervene. Otherwise, he never would’ve allowed anyone to disturb Ji Qingzhou.
In fact, Dong Dong hadn’t even dared to tell him that Minister Zhang had sought out Ji Qingzhou, afraid that Li Zhan would blow up in anger.
Only after the General’s Tomb matter had been fully resolved did Dong Dong finally find time to tell him about it.
“He probably didn’t know who else he could turn to,” Ji Qingzhou replied. “That matter—if you hadn’t relented, they wouldn’t have dared go against you. I merely went with the flow.”
Li Zhan looked at him and asked, “Do you know what Second Brother wrote in that letter?”
When Ji Qingzhou saw that Li Zhan had started talking about the Second Prince, he finally felt relieved. He knew that once a person began to open up, the heaviness in their heart would start to lift. He had truly been worried before—that Li Zhan might bottle everything up over the Second Prince and end up making himself sick.
“Before Second Brother left, he told me… that one day I would understand him,” Li Zhan said hoarsely. “At the time, I didn’t understand. I didn’t get why—after we did so much—he left even faster…” He paused for a moment. “It wasn’t until I saw that letter. He wrote… he had never wanted to keep living, but because he felt responsible for Commander Zhou’s death, he didn’t have the courage to face him.” Li Zhan continued, “Now that the case has finally been cleared up, he could finally feel ready to go and meet Zhou Chu.”
It was only after reading that letter that Li Zhan truly understood: when someone had lost all desire to live, forcing them to go on might bring some small comfort to those still alive—but for the one enduring it, it was only suffering.
And if that was the case, then… maybe it was alright that he had left.
Though his heart still ached, he had come to accept the Second Prince’s choice.
Ji Qingzhou’s eyes reddened, and he asked, “So… that’s why you were so set on having them buried together?”
“Mm.” Li Zhan nodded. “I never got the chance to tell Second Brother before… but I’d secretly had people collect Zhou Chu’s remains back then. I just didn’t want word to get out and stir up trouble, so I never brought it up.”
He had originally planned to wait until the Second Prince was settled in the capital, then tell him once he had regained some strength. But he hadn’t expected that the Second Prince had already completely lost the will to live.
“I heard someone say… when people are buried together after death, their souls can meet at Naihe Bridge. I figured… Second Brother and Commander Zhou had such a deep bond. Zhou Chu probably wouldn’t have drunk the soup of forgetfulness—he might have been waiting for Second Brother there at the bridge all this time.”
Li Zhan’s voice softened. “Once the general’s tomb is repaired, I’ll have them buried together. That way, they’ll be able to meet again.”
Ji Qingzhou nodded. “Mm. Maybe if it’s like that… they won’t be separated in the next life either.”
Li Zhan looked at him quietly for a while, then gently pulled Ji Qingzhou into his arms.
“When the day comes that we leave this world… I’ll have them bury us together too. That way, we won’t be separated in the next life either.”
Ji Qingzhou: …
Where did that come from—why such ominous words out of nowhere??
But then his thoughts shifted, and he realized—this was Li Zhan’s way of confessing.
Asking someone to be buried with you after death… that was a very unique kind of love declaration.
Ji Qingzhou didn’t know whether to laugh or cry, and yet somehow, he also found it oddly romantic in its own strange way.
“Will you say yes?” Li Zhan asked.
Ji Qingzhou: …
Say yes to being buried with you in the future? Isn’t that kind of promise a little too bizarre?
“Wait,” Li Zhan said suddenly, “you don’t have to answer just yet. We’re both going to live long, healthy lives. You can wait until your hair is all white before telling me.”
Ji Qingzhou: …
He’d lost count of how many times today he had been completely defeated by Li Zhan’s train of thought—he didn’t even have words for it.
But when he pictured himself, old and gray-haired, giving Li Zhan an answer to this question… it actually seemed a little heartwarming.
Who would have thought… someone would use something like this to promise you a lifetime?
Li Zhan was afraid Ji Qingzhou might be hungry, so he’d already instructed the kitchen to prepare breakfast early.
Now, with just a word from him, the food was brought out promptly.
“After breakfast, I’ll take you back to the Ji Residence,” Li Zhan said as he placed food into Ji Qingzhou’s bowl.
Ji Qingzhou glanced at him—You’re sending me away right after confessing?
“We should go see the child’s uncle,” Li Zhan said.
Ji Qingzhou nearly choked on a mouthful of rice.
Li Zhan quickly reached over to help pat his back and added, “If you don’t like calling him uncle, then he can be the child’s ‘elder brother’ instead.”
“I…” Ji Qingzhou began, “My brother doesn’t even know about the child yet.”
Li Zhan replied, “That’s fine. I’ll go and talk to him myself. The child’s already growing… we’ll need to let your brother and sister know eventually. Otherwise… I fear I won’t be allowed through the Ji family gates in the future.”
Ji Qingzhou raised an eyebrow at that. What, are you planning to marry into my family now?
“Don’t worry,” Li Zhan said, “I’ll explain everything myself. After all, the child is something I… caused, so naturally, I should be the one to take responsibility.”
Ji Qingzhou: …
Why did it feel like a high schooler in a secret relationship nervously preparing to confess to their parents?
After breakfast, Li Zhan and Ji Qingzhou went together to the Ji Residence.
It was as if Ji Qinghuai had already anticipated Li Zhan’s visit—he had prepared tea in the tea room ahead of time.
“The Ministry of Works really does move efficiently. In just a few days, they’ve already repaired everything that needed fixing.” As soon as Li Zhan entered the Ji Residence, he glanced around, and with the air of a head of household inspecting construction work, he added, “The floor tiles are a bit worn too. We’ll have them replaced next time.”
Ji Qingzhou raised an eyebrow and thought to himself—after that day when both Li Zhan and the young emperor came in person, everyone in the Ministry of Works knew these two were bound to visit frequently. How could they dare be careless? Of course, they made sure everything was done quickly and well.
“Wang Ye, it’s been a while,” Ji Qinghuai greeted him, unable to rise because of his leg injury, so he cupped his hands in salute while seated.
Li Zhan returned the gesture with equal courtesy. The formality startled Ji Qingzhou.
“I heard from Qingzhou that after you and Tu Dayou were caught in trouble, it was a doctor from the Imperial Uncle’s residence who rescued you?” Li Zhan asked.
“Yes,” Ji Qinghuai replied. “Young Master Qin told me some things about the capital while we were traveling. Honestly, we owe our lives to fate. If, on that day, Wang Ye had decided to execute that doctor… what would have arrived in the capital today would probably be my corpse.”
Li Zhan glanced at Ji Qingzhou and said, “That wasn’t my decision—it was Qingzhou who asked for him to be spared.”
Ji Qinghuai looked at Ji Qingzhou and half-joked, “It’s all the same in the end.”
“Mm,” Li Zhan responded, a faint smile appearing in his eyes.
Ji Qingzhou glanced between his brother and Li Zhan, feeling like there was something unspoken between them—like they were fencing with words.
Could it be… Ji Qinghuai already knew about the child?
He’d asked Tu Dayou yesterday, and the man swore he hadn’t let anything slip…
Just then, Tu Dayou, who had been helping make tea, glanced at Ji Qingzhou at the perfect moment. Ji Qingzhou returned a blank look—he had no idea what that glance was supposed to mean.
“Wang Ye coming here in person today—do you have something to tell me?” Ji Qinghuai asked.
Li Zhan cleared his throat and instinctively glanced at Ji Qingzhou.
Ji Qingzhou immediately tensed up. Somehow, the idea of revealing his pregnancy face-to-face to his older brother still made him feel deeply awkward.
He had become more at ease lately, already used to the little one growing inside him—but that didn’t mean he could talk about it to others without pressure. Because he knew, even if they framed it as a matter concerning the child, it would inevitably involve his relationship with Li Zhan…
This was, after all, his first time being in love—and the way he felt really was like a teenager in a secret relationship.
Except he hadn’t just fallen in love—he’d also gotten pregnant before marriage…
“Tu Dayou…” Li Zhan suddenly turned to him and said, “Would you go ask Young Lady Ji to come over? Just say I have something important to announce.”
Ji Qingzhou: …
Wait, what?!
He was going to bring Ji Qinglan over too?
So not only did he have to break the news to his older brother—but now he’d also have to tell his younger sister he was pregnant?
In no time, Tu Dayou brought Ji Qinglan into the room.
She bowed to Li Zhan with a puzzled look on her face, clearly not understanding why he had summoned her.
“There’s something I should have told you long ago,” Li Zhan said. “But I was afraid it might cause complications, so I kept it quiet. Now that the Ji family’s old injustice has been cleared and the three of you are reunited, there’s no need to keep this from you anymore.”
Ji Qingzhou took a deep breath—his heart was practically in his throat.
Li Zhan was silent for a moment before he spoke again: “Your parents’ remains… were secretly recovered and buried by me in a small garden on the outskirts of the capital. Next month, I’ll have the Ministry of Rites choose a proper day to move them into the Ji family’s ancestral tomb.”
The three siblings were all stunned. Ji Qinglan immediately burst into tears, dropped to her knees, and tried to bow to Li Zhan. But he quickly reached out and lifted her up, “Your father was my teacher and mentor, and our relationship was almost like father and son. Now that we’re all one family, there’s no need to stand on ceremony with me.”
Ji Qinghuai, too, grew choked up and saluted Li Zhan respectfully.
Among the three of them, Ji Qingzhou’s emotions ran the deepest.
When Li Zhan had mentioned recovering Zhou Chu’s body earlier, a fleeting thought had crossed his mind—because he knew how meticulous Li Zhan was, and given the bond he’d had with Grand Tutor Ji, if there had been a chance to do it, he definitely would have done it.
But afterward, he had been so preoccupied with confessing everything to Ji Qinghuai that the idea had completely slipped his mind.
He hadn’t expected Li Zhan to make this announcement—here and now.
“We’ll speak of the rest after your parents’ matter is settled.” After saying that, Li Zhan looked toward Ji Qingzhou.
Ji Qingzhou met his gaze, feeling a warmth spread through his chest. His eyes turned red with emotion.
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