Chapter 106
“What are you still hesitating for? I’m telling you, if you miss this chance, you won’t get another!” Ming Yu urged.
“There’s no need for Wang Ye to trouble himself,” Xie Yixiu said calmly. “I already have someone in my heart.”
“Huh?” Ming Yu rubbed his ears. Had he heard that right? General Xie had someone in his heart? How… how was that possible? Xie Yixiu had been stationed at the borderlands for so long, and he had never shown any interest in women. Not once had he ever mentioned anything about this topic in front of him.
Ming Yu knew exactly what kind of place the borderlands were. Xie Yixiu had been leading troops and fighting battles—where would he have found the time to meet a woman? Could it have been an arranged introduction? Or perhaps a childhood sweetheart?
No matter how much Ming Yu racked his brain, he couldn’t figure it out. Still dazed, he muttered, “So I was worrying for nothing?” Then, curiosity got the better of him, and he pressed on, “General Xie, who is it? Do I know her? Tell me quickly—is she beautiful? I really can’t imagine what kind of woman could have won a place in your heart.”
A shadow flickered in Xie Yixiu’s deep eyes. “Do you really want to know?”
Ming Yu nodded eagerly, his gossip-loving heart practically bursting with excitement. “Mhm! Tell me, tell me!”
Xie Yixiu furrowed his brows, his fingers continuously tightening and releasing. He had already locked this person deep inside his heart; there was no way he could ever let go of him in this lifetime. If he had to watch him leave his world and be with someone else, exchanging affectionate words, he couldn’t bear it. Just now, when he had looked at another girl for a moment, his heart had turned uneasy and restless. If… if…
The restless thoughts swirled in his mind, making Xie Yixiu even more frustrated. He wanted to be rational and distance himself, to just watch from afar as Ming Yu lived happily, but at the same time, he wanted to pull him close and sink together into oblivion.
“Don’t stay silent! Tell me, let me be happy for you! I really do consider you a friend,” Ming Yu murmured, nudging Xie Yixiu with his elbow.
That was true. Ming Yu rarely called himself “Ben Wang” in front of Xie Yixiu. Their interactions were comfortable, with an equal, friendly feel. It was like in later years, when you found a kindred spirit with whom you could talk about anything under the sun.
Those words made Xie Yixiu’s mind snap, the thread of reason inside him breaking off. Since it had come to this, he decided to let Ming Yu know how he felt, whether or not he could accept it. At least it would end the endless pain he had been carrying.
Xie Yixiu’s blood rushed, and he lost the calm composure he had always maintained. He grabbed Ming Yu’s wrist with a firm grip, pushing him into a nearby bush with a slight force.
Ming Yu froze for a moment, lifting his head in disbelief. He was about to ask Xie Yixiu why he had pushed him when suddenly, a warm sensation covered his lips. When Ming Yu realized what was happening, his mind went blank, and his face flushed hot. Was this… a kiss? Had Xie Yixiu just kissed him?
Fortunately, Xie Yixiu pulled away immediately, bringing him back to his senses. The two of them stood apart by a fist’s distance, and Xie Yixiu leaned down, whispering in his ear, “This is the answer you wanted.”
Ming Yu was still in shock, eyes wide open, staring at the person in front of him. He reached up to touch his lips, the warmth from earlier still lingering, as if it might burn him. “You… you…” He couldn’t form a complete sentence.
Xie Yixiu gave him no time to think and softly continued, “I have feelings for you, though you don’t know it.”
Things were better than he expected. At least Ming Yu hadn’t slapped him, nor had he used his higher status to have him arrested. That gave him a sliver of hope. If Ming Yu didn’t mind, perhaps he could accept him…
“Wait, wait a moment!” Ming Yu turned away, covering his face with his hands, trying to cool down. Only then did his bewildered mind have a chance to think.
Ming Yu had never been in a relationship. He hadn’t been in one before, and he certainly wasn’t in one now. Although he had met girls he liked before, it was always at the level of friends with a hint of something more, never crossing into romance. Now, someone was suddenly telling him that they had feelings for him, and someone who had never confessed to him before. This left him unsure of what to do. What was he supposed to do now? The fact that he hadn’t run away in panic was already a good thing.
After calming down a little, Ming Yu began to wonder what Xie Yixiu really meant. If he wasn’t joking… but it was impossible to joke about something like this. Didn’t he know him well enough? Xie Yixiu was rigid and serious, so how could he be joking about something so serious?
He concluded that what Xie Yixiu said was true. Xie Yixiu really liked him, and the person he had been referring to was him. But the question was, when did he start liking him? What did it mean for him to say this now? Wasn’t he afraid Ming Yu would resent him?
The events replayed in Ming Yu’s mind over and over. The warmth of Xie Yixiu’s lips lingered on his, and he could feel his face heating up again as the temperature rose.
He couldn’t think about it any longer. If he didn’t understand, he might as well just ask outright. “You… you said you have someone you like… that person is me, right?”
“Yes!” Xie Yixiu answered firmly.
“When… when did you start liking… liking me?” Ming Yu stammered, his face red as he spoke in a barely audible voice.
“I don’t know, just a little bit, drop by drop, slowly filling the heart. I’ve been confused and uneasy too, but the heart never follows my will. Since it has already taken root and sprouted in my heart, I can no longer control it. Even trying to dig it out would hurt terribly.” There was a trace of sorrow in Xie Yixiu’s voice. From the very beginning, he understood the hardships of this path, but there was no turning back for him.
Ming Yu’s heart suddenly skipped a few beats. “But I… I’m a man, how can you…?” He waved his hand irritably. “This doesn’t seem right in this world.”
Ming Yu wasn’t unaware of men loving men in his past life. He had friends who were like that; two of them had even gone abroad to get married. But he didn’t realize that people in this world were so open about it. It was truly bewildering for him.
“So what if you’re a man? Aren’t there countless examples throughout history? Take the past emperor and Empress Chen, didn’t they, too, love each other as men?” Xie Yixiu replied calmly, neither too humble nor too arrogant.
Ming Yu didn’t show any obvious dislike toward his attitude, though he was somewhat surprised and confused. He believed that Ming Yu was just having difficulty accepting such a thing happening to him, which was why he seemed so lost.
Ming Yu clicked his tongue. He had never really paid attention to these matters before. According to what Xie Yixiu said, it seemed like such things were quite ordinary, and people weren’t so closed-minded. Should he marvel at how open-minded ancient thinkers were compared to those in later times?
“No matter how you feel, I’m just expressing my own feelings. You don’t have to feel burdened, Your Highness. Whatever decision you make is fine. As for me, I would be content to protect you for the rest of my life.” The affectionate words from Xie Yixiu felt like a hammer, striking one word after another deep into Ming Yu’s heart.
Ming Yu’s heart jolted, and his eyes began to heat up. No one had ever said such things to him before. To be protected for a lifetime—such passionate words couldn’t have been said lightly. He believed that Xie Yixiu meant it and would follow through on his promise.
Having been here for so long, Ming Yu’s thoughts and perspectives were at odds with the people of this world. To others, he might seem like an oddity. No one could understand his thoughts or actions, let alone find a companion who shared his ideas. Xie Yixiu, however, was different. He could understand and agree with Ming Yu’s thoughts.
That was why Ming Yu had come to see Xie Yixiu as his only friend in this world, someone with whom he could interact as an equal. He had already considered the possibility of growing old alone in this world. Otherwise, he wouldn’t have turned down the emperor’s marriage proposal. He didn’t want to harm anyone else; in his view, a marriage without love, without warmth, was terrifying. He had grown up in such a family, one where there was no warmth, only coldness. He didn’t want that cycle of misery to continue into the next generation. Therefore, loneliness, while difficult, was still something he could bear.
Now, Xie Yixiu’s actions had disrupted the calm waters of his heart, stirring ripples he hadn’t expected. He realized that he, too, was loved and protected by someone!
“I… hmm, I’m not ready for matters of the heart. You know, I… I’m still young. Yes, still young, not even at the age of twenty, so…” Ming Yu tried hard to find the right words, his brows and eyes knitting together in thought. He struggled to phrase things gently, hoping not to hurt the person before him.
Perhaps with some time, a year, a year and a half, three or five years, his thoughts would change. By then, everything might come naturally. He would leave it all to time. Maybe they would exchange a calm smile, and everything that had happened today would fade away with the wind. Or maybe he would develop deep feelings in return for Xie Yixiu, because love wasn’t just one-sided—it wouldn’t be fair otherwise.
And besides, such an important thing as love should be considered carefully, right? Whether or not he would accept Xie Yixiu in the future, he didn’t want to hurt him. After all, Xie Yixiu was being completely sincere.
Actually, isn’t this just an excuse for Ming Yu to avoid the situation right now? He had always been slow to understand emotions, otherwise, his past friends wouldn’t have felt sorry for him. If he had understood sooner, he wouldn’t have ended up as an unmarried man past his prime.
Xie Yixiu’s heart finally returned to its rightful place. Ming Yu didn’t outright refuse him, which meant that there were still countless possibilities between them in the future. Ming Yu was always like this—reluctant to hurt anyone, even when he couldn’t accept something at the moment, he would be as gentle as possible. Right now, Xie Yixiu couldn’t force him, but since Ming Yu had given him an answer, he could wait, whether it was five years, ten years, or even a lifetime.
“I’ll wait for you! No time limit,” Xie Yixiu said softly.
“……” Oh my god! That’s unfair, unfair! How can Xie Yixiu, the stoic, be so charming? He had always seemed like a quiet person, but the words he just said made Ming Yu blush. Of course, perhaps it was because Ming Yu had never heard such romantic words before.
Ming Yu waved his hand irritably, deciding not to continue with this topic. “I’m going to find the Eldest Princess to ask something. If you don’t—”
“Shall we go together?”
“……” Fine, let it be. Ming Yu no longer wanted to dwell on it.
The two of them walked along the path, separated by some distance. Ming Yu remained silent, and Xie Yixiu didn’t disturb him, simply following quietly behind.
A few girls who were walking behind them noticed this and couldn’t help but feel confused. Just a moment ago, everything had seemed fine; they were talking and laughing, and the atmosphere was great. But now, in just a short time, it felt different?
“What just happened? Did anyone see it?” Shangguan Ling asked, puzzled.
Perhaps it was just her imagination, but she thought that just a moment ago, the two had glanced back at them. They didn’t want to be noticed, so they hid for a while. Then, Duan Wang seemed to stumble and fell behind the bushes at the corner. By the time they looked again, General Xie had already pulled the Wang Ye out from behind.
After that, the atmosphere between the two of them clearly changed. It was such a shame that the bushes blocked their view, and they couldn’t tell what had happened. They couldn’t hear their conversation from so far away, but something felt off. She wasn’t sure if the other girls felt the same.
“Why would Duan Wang fall backward for no reason? I didn’t quite catch what happened,” one of them said.
“Uh! It seemed like General Xie made a move, and then Duan Wang fell out,” another one commented.
“Did General Xie push him? So, what happened behind those bushes?” someone boldly asked.
“Would General Xie really push Wang Ye? That can’t be true, right?” Another person seemed skeptical.
“Why wouldn’t he push Wang Ye? If he doesn’t, would our stories sell?” one of the girls said confidently, adding a playful tone.
“Hahaha… What she says makes sense. Even if he didn’t push him, he should have,” the others laughed, full of hidden meaning.
“Alright, alright. Let’s go back and jot down this material. It’s best when we all pitch in and brainstorm,” one of them said with a mischievous grin.
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