I, The Substitute, Am With The Main Character Chapter 69

* this chapter is very sim to last chapter but rewritten; however, I just translated as is; just FYI

Lei Dongmiao’s expression became one of uncertainty after hearing He Xulan’s words. He stared at He Xulan, trying to detect any sign of deceit. He had clearly taken Xueya hostage, yet He Xulan appeared relaxed, speaking with a smile and even a hint of mockery at the corners of his lips, as if mocking Lei Dongmiao’s futile efforts.

Could it be that he had only captured a worthless pawn?

No, if He Xulan truly didn’t care about Xueya, wouldn’t he have already called the Imperial Guards to arrest him? Why bother wasting words here?

If he cared or not, a little test would reveal the truth.

Lei Dongmiao grinned at He Xulan and, without saying a word, pressed the dagger in his hand further. The sharp blade immediately made another cut on Xueya’s neck. Blood oozed from the wound and flowed down his neck.

Xueya was wearing a pale blue gown today, and the blood stained the collar like drops of striking vermilion. He feared pain, but the pain wasn’t his main concern right now.

If he died, there would be a scar on his neck. He had heard storytellers say that if someone died with a wound, it would become a birthmark in the next life.

Seeing that He Xulan remained unresponsive, Lei Dongmiao narrowed his eyes slightly and pressed the dagger further. This time, Xueya couldn’t hold back a scream of agony.

“Empress Dowager He, in ten seconds, I’ll slit his throat. I see you don’t have any peonies here. Why not use his blood to paint one for you?” Lei Dongmiao’s eyes gleamed with madness, as though he would truly carry out his threat. He began counting down, “Ten, nine, eight…”

Xueya was no longer paying attention to the countdown. Only one thought remained in his mind—

It hurts so much.

It really hurts.

Why is it that, although we’re all human, some lives are worth so much more than others?

It seemed the heavens had never favored him, no matter how hard he had tried to survive.

Why has staying alive become such a luxury?

Did people like him and his mother really not deserve to live?

Xueya’s mind drifted back to when he was eight years old. His mother had fallen gravely ill, and the brothel madam, thinking she was beyond saving, had banished her to a drafty, dilapidated shed that once stored firewood.

That winter, a snowstorm hit Jiangnan, making the already cold weather even worse. Even inside the shed, the cold was unbearable. With the wind seeping through every crack, there wasn’t even a fire to warm them. His mother was bedridden, too weak to even sit up.

Xueya had begged the madam, but she refused to spend money on his mother’s treatment. “Beg all you want, I don’t have the money. Your mother’s going to die. Anyone who pays for her treatment would be a fool.”

“My mother’s not going to die!” Xueya, enraged at hearing such words, tried to hit the madam, only to be slapped to the ground.

“You little brat! Don’t cause trouble here. If your mother hadn’t begged me and was willing to take in any and every client, I wouldn’t have kept you, this unlucky star, around. Before you were born, your mother was the most sought-after courtesan here, her value unimaginable. Men would line up all the way to the western gate just to see her. But after having you, her body changed, she got sick, and for half the month she couldn’t even work. Useless! Just like her, you’re a curse! When she dies, I’ll sell you to the boy’s brothel down the street. The owner’s already set a price for you. It’ll cover what you’ve cost me over the years.”

“My mother’s not useless! I’m not a curse!” Xueya’s eyes filled with tears, his face turning bright red.

The madam sneered. “You’re not a curse? Then go beg outside and see if you’re lucky enough to find someone to pay for your mother’s treatment.”

Xueya wiped his tears with his sleeve. “I will! I’ll find someone to help my mother!”

Miraculously, he did find a kind-hearted person who gave him a bag of silver. Xueya had never seen so much money in his life. He hurried to the clinic as fast as he could, asking for directions along the way.

The doctor praised him for being a good child, but when he learned they were going to a brothel, his expression immediately changed. “I don’t treat dirty diseases. Go away.”

Dirty diseases?

What were those?

Xueya didn’t understand at the time. He just said, “My mother isn’t dirty. She may be bedridden, but I fetch water for her every day. She keeps herself clean and doesn’t smell at all.”

The doctor didn’t want to argue and had the apprentice forcefully drive Xueya away.

When Xueya realized the doctor wouldn’t help, he knelt on the ground, holding up the bag of silver. “Doctor, please save my mother. This whole bag of silver is yours if you do.”

But his words were overheard by a beggar, who, seeing Xueya small and weak, rushed over, snatched the bag of silver, and ran. Xueya froze. By the time he thought to give chase, the man had disappeared.

With no silver left, Xueya dejectedly returned to the clinic, but the doctor just frowned. “Why are you still here? I said I don’t treat dirty diseases, and now you don’t even have silver. Go away.”

His mother died that same night.

Xueya never got to see her one last time because he had stood outside the clinic, hoping the doctor would change his mind. He had stood there so long his hands and feet were frostbitten, but the doctor never opened the door.

His mother, once adorned in fine silk and powder, had died in rags, her body unkempt. The money for her coffin had come from Xueya selling himself.

Xueya had once vowed at his mother’s grave that he would rise above their lowly status.

But now, it seemed, he couldn’t keep that promise.

He was going to die.

***

When Lei Dongmiao reached “two,” his grip on the dagger tightened. Just as he was about to make the final move, He Xulan finally spoke.

“Wait.”

Lei Dongmiao swallowed the “one” that was about to leave his mouth and tilted his head slightly. “Changed your mind?”

The smile on He Xulan’s lips vanished. His face became nearly expressionless as he stared at Lei Dongmiao. But seeing this, Lei Dongmiao’s grin only deepened.

“Let him go,” He Xulan’s tone was filled with impatience, as if he no longer wished to deal with Lei Dongmiao.

“And then?” Lei Dongmiao asked, eyes gleaming with excitement, knowing he had finally struck He Xulan’s weakest point.

In fact, he still had a backup plan.

If he killed Xueya and the other party still remained indifferent, he would throw the hidden throwing knife in his sleeve. However, there was an annoying old eunuch standing in front of He Xulan, and he couldn’t guarantee that his knife would accurately hit He Xulan’s heart.

He Xulan’s face was cold, and his tone even icier, “Come over here, and I’ll let you kill me.”

Xueya was lost in his memories and hadn’t even noticed the conversation between He Xulan and Lei Dongmiao.

“Hah, Empress Dowager He, do you think I’m a fool? I don’t trust you. Have that old eunuch tie your hands behind your back, then walk over to me.” As Lei Dongmiao spoke, a brilliant idea for revenge flashed in his mind.

If He Xulan dared to set a trap using Xueya, then Lei Dongmiao would have Xueya personally send He Xulan to the afterlife.

What could be more entertaining than being killed by the one you love?

Huang Gonggong, standing nearby, immediately looked at He Xulan in worry and softly called out, “Empress Dowager.”

He Xulan extended his hands toward Huang Gonggong, “Please serve me one last time.”

Upon hearing this, Huang Gonggong’s nose twitched with emotion, “This servant has nothing to bind you with, only my belt. Forgive this servant for the offense, Empress Dowager.”

He removed his own belt and tied He Xulan’s hands behind his back. Lei Dongmiao watched intently and, seeing that He Xulan’s hands were securely bound, said, “Empress Dowager He, now please turn around so I can check if your hands are tied tightly.”

He Xulan shot Lei Dongmiao a cold look before turning around. Lei Dongmiao wasn’t satisfied with how loosely the belt was tied. “It’s too loose, make it tighter! Tie a dead knot!”

Huang Gonggong had no choice but to tie it tighter. Finally, Lei Dongmiao was pleased. “That’ll do. Now, walk over here.”

He Xulan walked forward with no expression on his face. Just as he was about to reach Lei Dongmiao and Xueya, the Imperial Guards appeared. Upon seeing Lei Dongmiao wielding a weapon, they immediately moved to surround him and shouted to He Xulan, “Empress Dowager, step back!”

Lei Dongmiao, startled by the sudden arrival of the guards, pressed the dagger harder against Xueya’s neck. Instantly, more blood seeped out from Xueya’s wound. The sharp pain finally snapped him out of his memories.

Xueya’s gaze was hazy as he looked at the guards.

What were they here for? To save him, or to urge the person behind him to act quickly?

“He Xulan!” Lei Dongmiao shouted at He Xulan, “Do you not care about his life?”

He Xulan’s gaze darkened, filled with unspoken emotions, “Imperial Guards, listen carefully. Without my command, no one moves.”

The guards, hearing this order, grew even more anxious. Xueya, in his daze, stared at the guards. He noticed they only looked worriedly at He Xulan and couldn’t help but think—

I’m the one with a dagger at my throat. Why are they only worried about He Xulan?

Look at me.

At least pretend to care about me.

Lei Dongmiao, seeing the guards halt, pulled out the throwing knife from his sleeve and pressed it against Xueya’s throat. Meanwhile, he forced Xueya to hold the dagger, though he didn’t release his grip on Xueya’s hand.

“You kill He Xulan, and I’ll let you go. As long as he’s dead, you’ll live.” Lei Dongmiao didn’t bother to lower his voice, intentionally allowing He Xulan to hear.

Xueya’s long lashes trembled slightly, as if he hadn’t heard a word Lei Dongmiao said.

After speaking, Lei Dongmiao turned to He Xulan, “Now, Empress Dowager He, take two more steps forward.”

He Xulan walked two steps closer, his gaze fixed on Xueya, but Xueya didn’t look back at him.

Something seemed terribly wrong with Xueya. He looked as if he was in a trance, completely out of it, despite the blood still flowing from his neck. There wasn’t a trace of emotion on his face—not even pain.

With He Xulan so close, Lei Dongmiao’s excitement was palpable. His voice grew shrill as he grabbed Xueya’s hand, forcing the dagger toward He Xulan’s chest.

“Stab him!”

When Xueya didn’t move, Lei Dongmiao’s voice grew more vicious. “Didn’t you hear me? Stab him, or I’ll kill you!”

Xueya’s entire body trembled as he slowly looked at He Xulan.

At that moment, Xueya’s heart was pounding so loudly, he could hear it clearly.

Thump—

Thump—

Thump—

…

The beats were rapid.

—“Your mother’s worthless, and you’re a curse.”

—“I don’t treat dirty diseases.”

—“You really are the lowest of the low.”

—“Are you even worthy of being loved?”

Lei Dongmiao, seeing Xueya still hesitating, became furious, “Fine! If you won’t kill him, I’ll kill you!”

He raised the throwing knife, ready to stab Xueya’s neck.

At that moment, Xueya finally closed his eyes and thrust the dagger forward.

The sound of the dagger piercing flesh was painfully clear in Xueya’s ears.

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