I, The Substitute, Am With The Main Character Chapter 71

Huang Gonggong, upon hearing this, immediately said, “No, the young master will surely have divine protection.”

Xueya looked at Huang Gonggong and slowly loosened his grip.

Is He Xulan really not going to die?

He had lost so much blood. Several imperial physicians surrounded him with grave expressions, and none of them had come out yet.

After Huang Gonggong left, Xueya couldn’t help but hug his knees, biting his lips until he tasted blood. Only then did he suddenly release his teeth, startled.

No, He Xulan won’t die. He had dreamed of He Xulan rebelling. If He Xulan dies, how will he rebel?

He Xulan must survive.

Xueya had no idea what was happening outside, only occasionally hearing faint sounds. By the time it was completely dark outside, there was a knock on Xueya’s door.

It was Huang Gonggong.

Huang Gonggong had come to bring him food.

Huang Gonggong must have been busy; he was still dressed in bloodstained eunuch robes, and even his usually impeccable hair was disheveled, with a lock falling against his cheek. Xueya had no appetite, just gazing up at Huang Gonggong. Huang Gonggong, noticing Xueya’s gaze and guessing his thoughts, said, “Eat first. After you finish, I’ll take you to see the Empress Dowager.”

Upon hearing this, Xueya’s eyes suddenly brightened.

Does this mean He Xulan isn’t dead?

Xueya immediately grabbed Huang Gonggong’s sleeve and asked cautiously, “Can I go now?”

“Not yet. The Emperor is with the Empress Dowager, and the head of the imperial hospital is there as well. A little later,” Huang Gonggong said, placing chopsticks in Xueya’s hand. “Eat first.”

Huang Gonggong left quickly after delivering the meal. It wasn’t until much later, perhaps close to midnight, that he returned.

By now, Ningfu Palace was completely quiet, just as it usually was. The bloodstains on the courtyard’s paving stones had already been cleaned up. Xueya glanced outside the courtyard, remembering what he had done earlier in the evening, and a chill ran down his spine.

He Xulan had been moved back to his bedchamber, and two imperial physicians remained to watch over him. Huang Gonggong took Xueya inside and spoke to the two exhausted-looking physicians. “Sirs, the two of us can watch over him tonight. You still need to tend to the Empress Dowager tomorrow, so please go rest now.”

These two physicians, having received a strict death order from Cui Lingjing, dared not leave. But Huang Gonggong changed his tone, saying, “Then allow me to have two small beds prepared in the outer hall. I will keep watch inside, and if anything happens, I will call you both immediately.”

Hearing this, the two physicians reluctantly agreed. After they laid down fully dressed, Huang Gonggong stood by the door between the inner and outer chambers, leaving the side hall for Xueya.

Xueya had just entered and didn’t dare to look in the direction of the bed. Only after confirming that no one else was in the inner chamber did he tremble as he glanced over.

He Xulan laid quietly on the bed, his face pale as paper, showing no signs of life. His chest was wrapped in thick layers of gauze. Xueya walked over, wanting to examine the wound more closely but was too scared. He didn’t even dare to touch He Xulan, but he also didn’t want to leave.

So, Xueya sat down on the footstool next to the bed and quietly kept watch. He frequently looked at He Xulan’s face, then at his wound. Before he knew it, he had fallen asleep with his head resting on the bed.

Half-asleep, Xueya felt a light touch on his head. He suddenly lifted his head and found himself looking into He Xulan’s eyes. He Xulan’s irises were lighter than most people’s, and the candlelight that fell into his eyes made them look like shards of light caught in pale gemstones.

Xueya was startled to see He Xulan awake, his pupils dilating. He wanted to say something, but his throat felt as though it was being strangled, and no words came out. He could only stare at He Xulan, and He Xulan, too, said nothing, merely watching him.

After some time, Xueya’s eyes began to sting. Embarrassed, he covered his eyes and whispered, “I’m sorry.”

He wished Huang Gonggong would scold him.

Why didn’t Huang Gonggong blame him, shout at him, or hit him? He was so awful—He Xulan was right when he said he wasn’t worthy of being liked. Who could love someone as disgusting as him?

“Xueya, Xueya?” Several calls suddenly snapped Xueya out of his daze.

Xueya raised his head and saw Huang Gonggong’s concerned face. He quickly turned toward the bed.

He Xulan was still lying there quietly, unconscious.

So it was just a dream.

Xueya blinked and reached up to rub his sore eyes but found his face wet with tears.

Had he cried in his sleep?

Wait, he had just been dreaming.

Xueya stared at the tears on his fingers, feeling a bit lost. He didn’t usually dream.

Was this dream also a premonition of the future? It didn’t seem to be.

“Are you very tired? Why don’t you rest for a while? Dawn is almost here,” Huang Gonggong said softly.

Xueya glanced at him. “Huang Gonggong, you haven’t rested all day.”

Huang Gonggong forced a smile. “Once the physicians wake up and take over watching the Empress Dowager, I’ll go rest.” He then looked at He Xulan and said in a low voice, “The physicians said the Empress Dowager’s injuries aren’t too severe, not life-threatening.”

Xueya thought he was lying. If the injuries weren’t severe, why hadn’t He Xulan woken up yet?

Huang Gonggong was just trying to comfort him.

Clearly, he was the one who had hurt He Xulan, so why was Huang Gonggong comforting him instead?

“Huang Gonggong, should I go to the dungeon? I hurt the Empress Dowager. I should be in prison,” Xueya said softly.

As soon as the words left his mouth, Huang Gonggong lowered his voice, “Oh, my little ancestor, don’t say that. If the Empress Dowager wakes up and doesn’t see you, he’ll surely blame me for not handling things well. For now, just eat and rest properly. When the Empress Dowager wakes up, you can apologize personally. You hurt him; the person to judge you should be him, right? Whatever happens, wait until he wakes up.”

Xueya was silent for a while before nodding.

During the day, Xueya couldn’t stay by He Xulan’s side because Cui Lingjing and the physicians were there, but at night, he could. This was the second night that He Xulan had been unconscious, and Xueya noticed that Huang Gonggong looked even more exhausted than the day before.

Will He Xulan really wake up?

If he doesn’t…

No, He Xulan will definitely wake up. Xueya had dreamed of him rebelling, and that hadn’t happened yet. How could He Xulan not wake up?

That night, Xueya sat again on the footstool next to the bed, staring fixedly at the figure on the bed. After a long time, his neck grew sore, so he carefully rested his hands on the edge of the bed, crossed his arms, and leaned his head on them, continuing to watch He Xulan.

Eventually, his arm went numb. He inhaled softly and was adjusting his posture when he noticed He Xulan’s fingers twitch slightly. Thinking he was imagining it, Xueya stared intently at He Xulan’s hand until it moved again, nearly making him cry out.

But before he could, he heard a voice.

“Is there something on my hand?”

Xueya froze.

It took him a long time to turn his head toward He Xulan’s face.

He Xulan was looking at him.

Is this another dream?

Xueya pinched his arm, and the sharp pain told him this wasn’t a dream.

He Xulan was really awake!

Xueya instinctively wanted to get up and call for someone, but before he could, a hand gently grasped his.

The grip was weak, but the touch made Xueya too frightened to move. He froze in place, unsure of what to do.

“Where are you going?” He Xulan asked in a frail, breathless voice.

Xueya didn’t answer. Instead, his eyes darted around, searching for Huang Gonggong. Huang Gonggong seemed to have stepped out to change clothes and wasn’t there. This only made Xueya more anxious, unsure how to face He Xulan, especially now that they were alone.

“You wake up and then leave. Don’t you have anything to say to me?” He Xulan’s voice broke the silence.

Xueya lowered his head, his lips trembling, but his throat felt like it was being strangled again, and no words came out.

“Turn around,” He Xulan spoke again.

Xueya obediently turned but, upon meeting He Xulan’s gaze, quickly lowered his head again.

He Xulan sighed. “Do you not want to see me?”

“No, no, that’s not it.” Xueya finally found his voice again. He glanced at He Xulan before quickly lowering his head.

That brief glance allowed He Xulan to notice the dark circles under Xueya’s eyes. After thinking for a moment, he continued, “If it’s not, then why won’t you look at me? Do you think I look ugly now?”

Xueya quickly shook his head, but still didn’t lift it.

Seeing this, He Xulan suddenly coughed. Xueya was startled and immediately leaned in, looking at him anxiously. “Are you feeling unwell? Should I call the imperial doctor?”

The cough had strained He Xulan’s chest, causing his face to grow even paler. But hearing Xueya’s offer to call a doctor, he quickly stopped him, “Xueya.”

Xueya froze, his fox-like eyes wide open.

He Xulan looked at him softly and asked, “How long has it been since you last slept?”

Xueya bit his lip, avoiding the question.

“Are you worried about me?” He Xulan asked again.

Xueya remained silent, lowering his gaze. Despite He Xulan being the one seriously injured, Xueya appeared even more fragile. He Xulan’s tone softened as he spoke, “Will you lie with me for a while?”

Hearing this, Xueya looked at He Xulan in disbelief, but He Xulan’s expression remained calm. Other than his pale complexion, he looked almost the same as always.

Xueya had thought that once He Xulan woke up, he would surely look at him with hatred or disgust—after all, he had stabbed He Xulan. How could He Xulan still care for him after something so terrible?

“I… I can’t.” Xueya’s eyes welled up, and he whispered softly.

A flicker of surprise crossed He Xulan’s face before he closed his eyes, as if in great discomfort. “You dislike me.”

“No!” Xueya immediately protested upon hearing this. But He Xulan kept his eyes closed, seemingly not wanting to see Xueya anymore. This only made Xueya feel worse. He couldn’t decide which was more painful—being acknowledged by He Xulan, or being ignored.

After standing by the bedside for a while, Xueya finally mustered up the courage to lie beside him. Afraid of touching He Xulan’s injuries, he carefully laid down on a small edge of the bed.

The moment Xueya laid down, He Xulan turned his head to look at him. His eyes were like the jewels Xueya had seen in his dreams, glittering with faint light. He reached out his right hand and pulled Xueya, who was stiff with tension, closer to him. Xueya, terrified of hurting He Xulan’s wound, didn’t dare to move. As their bodies touched, Xueya blinked rapidly but couldn’t hold back his emotions.

He covered his face with both hands, soft sobs escaping from behind them. When he felt a gentle hand patting his back, the floodgates of his tears burst open.

Unconsciously, Xueya buried his face in He Xulan’s neck. Every time he had gotten close to someone before, it had been to gain something—whether it was money or beautiful clothes.

This was the first time he sought closeness for the sake of closeness itself.

Unable to control himself, he wrapped his arms around He Xulan’s neck and cried, “I’m sorry, brother, I’m so sorry.”

After saying those words, Xueya waited for a long time without hearing a response from He Xulan. Although he knew He Xulan had every reason not to forgive him, the silence only made him cry harder. His tears fell one by one, soaking He Xulan’s clothes.

“Xueya,” He Xulan finally spoke.

Still sobbing, Xueya pleaded, “Brother, punish me, just don’t refuse to forgive me.”

He Xulan let out a sigh, seeming a bit helpless. “You’re… you’re pressing on my wound…”