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If I Can’t Get the Male Lead, I’ll Just Be a Salted Fish Chapter 12

Qin Shu wasn’t the only one against it. The word “bully” made Wang Youyu’s pupils shrink. Chu Cheng’s reaction seemed to imply he knew something—and what shocked him more was that Xu Ning actually agreed right away.

Wang Youyu said, “Ah Ning, year 3 has a lot of classes, plus internship prep. Are you sure you’ll have the time?”

Xu Ning calmly said, “Time can always be squeezed out. And I really am too frail—catch a cold from a breeze, that kind of thing. It’s about time I got stronger.”

Qin Shu wanted to cry. But—but he liked delicate beauties, especially the soft, helpless little white-rabbit type, which hit every one of his moe points. Xu Ning might be skinny, but his height wasn’t bad—at a glance, about the same as Chu Cheng’s. If Xu Ning started going to the gym, building solid muscle, maybe even grew a few more centimeters—just the image alone was enough to make Qin Shu suffocate.

He was about to tell Xu Ning to reconsider, when Chu Cheng said: “Then you really should stick with it. Consistency is key in training. I go twice a week—come with me from now on. Saves you money on a personal trainer too.”

Qin Shu swallowed the words back down. …If the two of them actually went to the gym together, maybe it wasn’t so bad?

They’d be meeting regularly. The baby teaching Ning Ning how to train, the inevitable body contact… sparks could fly at any moment. Whoa—thinking about it that way, maybe his little heart could still be resuscitated.

Xu Ning smiled. “How much was the membership? I’ll transfer it to you.”

Chu Cheng waved his hand. “I told you—it’s a gift.”

“Why would you suddenly give me a gym card?”

Chu Cheng’s mouth was still foul: “Because you’re such a weakling, I couldn’t stand to watch anymore.”

Called “weak,” Xu Ning didn’t get upset, just repeated: “How much? I’ll transfer it.”

Chu Cheng hesitated. “Three thousand.”

Xu Ning’s family wasn’t wealthy—his living expenses for a semester were only four or five thousand. Qin Shu worried he couldn’t afford it, and Wang Youyu seemed to realize the same, saying: “Ah Ning, I’ll pay for you—”

“No need.” Xu Ning said. “I worked part-time over the summer, saved a bit.”

He transferred Chu Cheng three thousand, then cut some sausage for them to eat. Qin Shu took one bite and immediately showered it with rainbow farts, then left with Chu Cheng carrying two sausages.

On the fourth floor landing, Chu Cheng suddenly said: “I feel like we forgot something.”

Qin Shu scratched his head. “Honestly, me too.”

The two of them stood outside their dorm door, wracking their brains. What on earth had they forgotten?

The next day, while changing, Chu Cheng found the campus card in his laundry pocket. It had already been through the wash and demagnetized.

Chu Cheng suggested pretending they had never found it. Qin Shu’s conscience wouldn’t allow it—he sent Xu Ning a heartfelt apology over WeChat. Xu Ning, ever considerate, said it was fine, he’d already applied for a replacement.

And so, in Chu Cheng’s drawer, there was now a campus card with Xu Ning’s photo.

Meanwhile, Qin Shu’s chest kept aching in some indescribable way. When he took his shirt off, he found his little buddy was red and irritated—obviously one side was darker than the other.

He was furious.

Grabbing scissors in a rage, Qin Shu was about to cut off the culprit when he noticed the logo on the collar. He didn’t know much about luxury brands, but he recognized some of the common ones. He looked it up—and stared, dumbfounded.

That crappy T-shirt cost three thousand yuan. And it was unbearably uncomfortable to wear. Three thousand yuan—enough for ten whole chicken hotpot feasts!

Qin Shu flung the shirt onto the chair in frustration. “Trash!”

Chu Cheng was changing clothes, getting ready to take Xu Ning to the gym for the first time. “What now?” he asked.

Qin Shu sulked. “My chest hurts.”

“Chest? Hurts?” Chu Cheng’s gaze moved to him. “Where?”

Qin Shu got embarrassed. “It’s nothing, probably just chafed. D*mmit, even if I have to streak naked down the street, I’ll never wear that shirt again!”

Chu Cheng glanced at the T-shirt on the chair and understood. “Are you stupid? Wearing this kind of fabric in summer—of course it’s uncomfortable.”

Qin Shu shook his head. “It was fine at first. It’s all Xie Lanzhi’s fault.”

Chu Cheng asked curiously, “What’s that got to do with Brother Lan?”

“Forget it. Don’t bring up the past anymore, life already has enough storms.” Qin Shu waved him off, picked up his clothes, and went to shower.

Chu Cheng was baffled. He changed into his gym clothes and stepped out, just in time to see Xie Lanzhi coming out from across the hall. Smiling, he greeted, “Brother Lan.”

“Perfect timing.” Xie Lanzhi was holding his laptop. “I forgot my charging cable. I heard from Lu Rulu that you also have a Surface Pro—can I borrow your charger?”

“Sure, let me look.” Chu Cheng reopened the door and rummaged through his drawer. “By the way, Brother Lan, did you get into a fight with Qin Shu?”

“A fight?”

“He said you made his chest hurt.”

Xie Lanzhi was, for once, a little confused. “Did I?”

“Hahahaha, well that’s what he said anyway.” Chu Cheng found the charger and handed it over. “Who knows what goes on in his head—he’s muttering nonsense all day.”

Hearing the sound of running water from the bathroom, Xie Lanzhi said, “He’s showering, right? I’ll ask him when he comes out.”

“Okay, make yourself at home. Don’t be polite.” Chu Cheng said. “I’ve got stuff to do, heading out first.”

Xie Lanzhi nodded. “Alright.”

This was Xie Lanzhi’s first time visiting dorm 419. A very typical boys’ dorm—not exactly tidy, but not filthy either, at least no strange smells. Under Chu Cheng’s desk were all sorts of basketball shoes, while Qin Shu’s desk was piled high with textbooks. Xie Lanzhi recalled how Qin Shu had still been reading a PPT when waiting for them that day—so the junior really was a top student.

Besides books, Qin Shu’s desk also had a laptop, a Switch, and a mug printed with a cute anime girl. Xie Lanzhi also remembered Qin Shu’s WeChat avatar was the same girl, and couldn’t help curving his lips. Lu Rulu had once said: a guy who uses anime girls for avatars—nine out of ten are fat otakus, the tenth is either gay or a cross-dresser.

Settling down at Chu Cheng’s desk, Xie Lanzhi plugged in his laptop and went back to debugging code. Just then, a male voice drifted out along with the sound of water.

“Finally the bell for class is ringing, already agreed to meet you at the playground. Summer’s so stifling, I’ll take you for strawberry ice cream—”

Xie Lanzhi’s fingers paused slightly over the keyboard.

Qin Shu’s voice was natural, unforced, no different from when he spoke—full of youthful brightness and vitality. Toward the end he must have forgotten the lyrics, switching to humming instead.

The singing stopped. The water shut off. The junior was about to come out.

Qin Shu dried himself off, pulled on a pair of shorts, and came out toweling his hair. During the shower, his sore spot still ached, especially when touched by hot water. The pain was no worse than scraping a knee—totally bearable for a boy, just awkward because of the location.

Looking down at the slight swelling, he wondered if he should use some ointment—when suddenly he heard a voice:

“I heard I made you hurt?”

Sh*t!!!

Qin Shu’s head snapped up, and the sight nearly scared his soul out. “S-senior… Xie Lanzhi?” He flailed, looking around as if he had time-traveled. “Why are you here… where’s Chu Cheng?”

“He went out,” Xie Lanzhi said succinctly. “What’s wrong with your chest?”

Qin Shu instinctively glanced at the injured spot, and his face instantly burned red—what kind of absurd plot twist was this?! Why did Xie Lanzhi know?!

It had to be Chu Cheng. No one else knew about his injury… Good job, baby, you’ve learned how to sell out your dad now.

Catching Qin Shu’s little movement, Xie Lanzhi said in surprise, “Don’t tell me it’s…”

Qin Shu quickly used the towel to cover his chest, denying in triplicate: “It’s not! No! You saw wrong!” Yes, he liked boys, but he’d never had a crush on any real-life guy. That’s why he could be casual about being shirtless around Chu Cheng. But facing Xie Lanzhi’s face—so handsome it looked like it stepped out of a manga—he absolutely could not bare those points so easily!

Xie Lanzhi looked at him steadily. “Qin Shu.”

Qin Shu bristled. “W-what.”

“Do you know the idiom ‘There are no three hundred taels of silver buried here’?”

Qin Shu: “…”

Help! He was so embarrassed his scalp was tingling. God, just let him disappear from this world already!

Looking at the flushed, utterly mortified junior, Xie Lanzhi finally couldn’t hold back his laughter. And it wasn’t his usual polite, distant laugh—this one stripped away his aloofness, clear and warm, so much that Qin Shu’s breath hitched.

Snapping back to his senses, Qin Shu violently shook his head, droplets flying from his hair to the floor—Qin Shu, get a grip! No matter how good-looking he is, he’s still the rival! Hold it together!

“Go ahead and laugh,” Qin Shu muttered darkly. “When you laugh yourself to death, I can inherit your estate.” Honestly, he kind of admired himself—after all, who else in the whole school could make Xie Lanzhi laugh like this? Probably no one.

Still smiling, Xie Lanzhi asked, “And what exactly is our relationship, that you could inherit my estate?”

Qin Shu turned to his wardrobe, looking for a shirt that wouldn’t rub against his skin. “It’s just a meme, that’s all.”

When Xie Lanzhi had laughed enough, he asked, “So how did you get hurt?”

Qin Shu said flatly, “Yesterday I wore a linen shirt with a front pocket—it rubbed me raw.”

“And what does that have to do with me?”

“You’re the one who shoved Ning Ning’s campus card into my pocket…”

Xie Lanzhi suddenly realized. “So it really was my fault.”

Qin Shu huffed. “Exactly.”

“Then why didn’t you just take it out, instead of letting it keep rubbing you?”

Qin Shu was stumped. He couldn’t come up with a reasonable excuse, and he definitely couldn’t tell the truth. He could only mumble vaguely, “Didn’t really feel it at first. Only noticed the grievous injury when I showered after getting back.”

He found a light blue pure cotton T-shirt. Just as he was about to put it on, he heard Xie Lanzhi ask: “Is the injury serious?”

Qin Shu slipped his head into the T-shirt. “It’s… okay, I guess…”

“Let me see.”

Qin Shu’s movements froze like someone had hit the pause button. Two seconds later, he quickly pulled the shirt all the way on. His wet hair got messed up into a damp, chaotic state. He looked at Xie Lanzhi in horror. “See… see what?”

Author’s Note:
Senior: Don’t be shy, I’ll be seeing it often from now on.

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If I Can’t Get the Male Lead, I’ll Just Be a Salted Fish

If I Can’t Get the Male Lead, I’ll Just Be a Salted Fish

抢不到男主,我决定咸鱼
Score 8.6
Status: Ongoing Type: Author: Native Language: Chinese
<All the World Loves Me> is a popular danmei novel with a super popular bottom. But the author refuses to reveal who the official top is, leaving readers to place their own bets. As a loyal fan of the novel, Qin Shu had staked his entire heart and soul on one particular top. Every day he cheered like a die-hard sports fan, waving the flag for his precious boy’s victory. Then one day, Qin Shu woke up inside the novel—only to find he had become the worst possible “stock” in the stock market, a mere catalyst to boost other CPs’ feelings. To help his OTP come true as soon as possible, Qin Shu threw himself into playing his role perfectly, removing all obstacles for his chosen top, and guarding fiercely against the “super popular stock” Xie Lanzhi. Qin Shu: Anyone who tries to break up my ship will have soda cans without pull-tabs, and instant noodles without seasoning packets for the rest of their life! Xie Lanzhi: Little idiot. After tireless efforts, Qin Shu finally watched with a smile as his chosen top successfully won the beauty’s heart—mission accomplished. Other “stocks”: Qin Shu, don’t give up! As long as they aren’t married, we still have a chance! Qin Shu: I’m exhausted. I’ll just let them be happy. Farewell, brothers. (waves with tears) Other “stocks”: Why does it suddenly feel so boring? What’s with this hollow feeling? Qin Shu, come back and fight over him with us! Qin Shu: Being a salted-fish slacker is just too comfortable. His former “love rival” Xie Lanzhi finally lost patience, came to find the lounging Qin Shu, grabbed him up, and said: Want to lie around like a salted fish? Go do it in my bed. Reading Notes:
  1. In both the “main character” and “supporting character” lists, the bottom is listed first.

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