If I Can’t Get the Male Lead, I’ll Just Be a Salted Fish Chapter 14

After saving Xie Lanzhi’s photo, Qin Shu would scroll through “Zhi Yan Kong” once every night before bed, and during the day he could occasionally catch sight of him again on his phone.

At first, Qin Shu couldn’t help lingering a few extra seconds on the main screen. But after a while, he got to the point where he could lock the screen and turn it off in one smooth motion, not wasting even a second on Xie Lanzhi’s face.

Qin · Former Face-Con · Philosopher · Shu: When beauty becomes a habit, it’s no longer worth your time. His “Xie Lanzhi Beauty Defense System” had been fully upgraded, and he was confident that the next time he saw Xie Lanzhi, he would absolutely not be swayed by his looks. That way, he could devote himself wholeheartedly to fighting for the realization of the “Cheng-Ning” CP.

After P.E. class, back in the dorm room, Qin Shu didn’t even bother to close the door before collapsing into his chair. They had run 1500 meters in class, and now his whole body was in a daze—his teeth ached, his legs felt like jelly, and he figured it would take three to five days before he recovered.

Chu Cheng hadn’t stopped mocking him during class, and once back in the dorm he was still saying things like: “If you’re going to run, run 5000 meters. Just 1500? That’s insulting.” “Didn’t even get enough of a thrill—I feel like I could do another hundred sit-ups right now.” …and so on.

With his cheek pressed against the desk, Qin Shu stared numbly at his lively little cub and thought: what a pity this stamina wasn’t being put to use in bed. Ah, who knows how many years it’ll be before he gets to eat some proper “Cheng-Ning” meat.

Lu Rulu came out of his dorm and, seeing the door opposite wide open, went over to greet his neighbors.

“All here—what’s up with Qin Shu like that?”

Qin Shu didn’t even have the strength to speak. Chu Cheng looked at his dead-fish state and said, “Ran 1500 meters and lost half his life.”

“That won’t do, Little Love Letter,” Lu Rulu patted his shoulder. “With our major, odds are we’ll end up in a job that pays well, talks little, and dies early. Your scrawny body’s not going to cut it.”

Qin Shu gave a bitter smile, weakly: “Brother Lu, got any recommendations for commercial insurance? I’ll buy a policy.”

Lu Rulu burst out laughing. Sure, Qin Shu did have some odd habits, but after spending time together, the fact that Chu Cheng was still alive and well was proof enough that Qin Shu was a decent guy to hang with. Even though Chu Cheng was constantly sharp-tongued with him, he still went to class with him, ate in the cafeteria with him, and even picked up his packages for him sometimes.

That’s just how simple boys’ friendship and happiness is.

Seeing Lu Rulu carrying a backpack, Chu Cheng asked, “Got class tonight? That sucks.”

“No, I’m going to Brother Lan’s place to work on a project, and to freeload a meal while I’m at it,” Lu Rulu said. “Want to come along and experience the luxurious life of a rich second-gen? Brother Lan said we’re having hotpot tonight.”

Chu Cheng was very interested. “Sure, sure. I’ve never had hotpot in a mansion before. Actually, to be accurate, I’ve never done anything in a mansion before.”

Qin Shu reminded him, “Aren’t you supposed to go to the gym with Ning Ning tonight?”

Chu Cheng didn’t care. “I’ll just tell him I can’t go tonight, we’ll go tomorrow.”

Qin Shu: “……” To skip out on your future spouse just to go eat at a love rival’s house—what use do I have for such a dumb*ss son.

Lu Rulu lowered his head to send Xie Lanzhi a WeChat, saying he was bringing along two guys from the dorm next door. Xie Lanzhi didn’t mind, simply replied, “Okay.”

“Then let’s go,” Lu Rulu said. “Can’t keep our school grass waiting.”

Qin Shu lifted his head, switched cheeks against the desk. “I’m not going. My legs are broken, I can’t move. All I want now is to flop like a salted fish.” If it were dinner somewhere else, he might consider it—but Xie Lanzhi’s house? Forget it.

“You still need to eat,” Lu Rulu said.

“I’ve got instant noodles here, and a little goldfish. I won’t starve,” Qin Shu said. “You guys go, don’t mind me.”

The two didn’t press him further. Before leaving, Chu Cheng warned, “Don’t you dare eat my goldfish.”

Xie Lanzhi’s place was in a high-end residential complex near the school. Most school-district housing was older, rundown buildings, but this complex had been built on cleared land from demolished units, and was on the city’s list of priciest neighborhoods.

Chu Cheng had passed by it plenty of times, but this was his first time going in. Just the two or three minutes spent registering at security, several luxury cars drove out of the underground garage. Chu Cheng couldn’t help asking, “So what exactly does Brother Lan’s family do, to be this rich?”

Lu Rulu grinned. “No idea, just know it’s the evil forces of capitalism.”

The two took the elevator straight to Xie Lanzhi’s apartment. Seeing only the two of them, Xie Lanzhi asked, “Where’s Qin Shu?”

While changing his shoes, Chu Cheng said, “He said he’s not feeling well, wants to rest.”

Xie Lanzhi’s brow furrowed slightly. “Not feeling well? He’s sick?”

“Who knows.” Lu Rulu said, “Brother Lan, where’s your cat? Let me get my fix.”

Xie Lanzhi had taken in a long-haired odd-eyed stray cat—one blue eye, one brown, pure white all over, no less stunning than a pedigree cat. Its personality, though, was just like its owner’s: aloof, not clingy.

“She heard you were coming, so she hid,” Xie Lanzhi said. “All the hotpot ingredients are ready. Wash up and let’s eat.”

Lu Rulu dashed into the living room, searching for the kitty. “Baby, big brother’s here!”

When the hotpot came to a boil, Xie Lanzhi sent Qin Shu a WeChat.

[Shuimenjian: ?]

[Qingshu: ??]

[Shuimenjian: Heard from Chu Cheng you’re not feeling well?]

[Qingshu: (I’m basically a crippled celestial man.jpg)]

[Qingshu: So tired, lying salted-fish mode, do not disturb.]

[Shuimenjian: 1]

Lu Rulu had said he was there to do a project, but after eating he just forced his way into cuddling the cat. Chu Cheng, meanwhile, saw the massive flat-screen TV in the living room and couldn’t stay calm, asking with great expectation, “Brother Lan, Brother Lan, can I play some games on this?”

“Sure,” Xie Lanzhi said. “The PS4’s in the cabinet below.”

“PS5’s coming out soon, don’t forget to upgrade,” Lu Rulu said.

“Say upgrade again and get out,” Xie Lanzhi said. “You guys want anything to drink?”

“Got beer?” asked Chu Cheng.

“No, but I can go buy some,” Xie Lanzhi said.

“No need, Coke’s fine,” Chu Cheng quickly said.

Xie Lanzhi chuckled. “It’s fine, I’ll take a walk and digest. Make yourselves at home.”

There was a convenience store near the complex. Xie Lanzhi bought five cans of beer, and as he came out, he unexpectedly spotted a familiar figure.

Next to the store was a duck-neck shop, and poking his head in the doorway—wasn’t that the strange little junior of his?

Xie Lanzhi was silent for a moment, then took out his phone.

Qin Shu had been lying salted-fish-style in the dorm for an hour. His health bar had recovered a third, then after a pack of instant noodles, half. But after finishing the noodles, he still felt unsatisfied, so he dragged his half-crippled body out in search of food.

This duck neck shop’s flavor was pretty good, but the auntie clerk had one very annoying habit.

Qin Shu: “Hello, I want 30 yuan worth of duck neck.”

“Alright, alright,” the auntie clerk’s hands moved as fast as a tiger, “that’ll be 76 yuan in total.”

Qin Shu was full of question marks. “I said just 30.”

The auntie quickly pulled two pieces of duck neck out of the bag and set them on the scale. “This here is 59, how are you paying?”

Expressionless, Qin Shu said, “Thirty. Not one more than thirty.”

The auntie said impatiently, “Looking at your clothes, you’re doing fine. What’s the big deal about a little money?”

Qin Shu was pissed off. “Listen carefully, I want 30. You weigh me 30. Keep the error within fifty cents, otherwise I’ll file a complaint.”

The auntie rolled her eyes, muttering just loud enough for Qin Shu to hear: “Kids these days, always trying to scare people with complaints, tsk.”

In the end Qin Shu did get his 30 worth of duck neck, but it left him fuming. Just then a WeChat voice call popped up. He glanced at the screen in surprise—why was Xie Lanzhi calling him?

Qin Shu answered. “Hello?”

Xie Lanzhi asked, “Still resting in the dorm?”

“Yeah,” Qin Shu tried to make his voice sound weak, “something the matter?”

Xie Lanzhi was silent for a beat, then said: “Is the duck neck good?”

“…?” Qin Shu slowly turned around. Xie Lanzhi was standing right behind him, phone to his ear, looking at him with a meaningful expression.