If I Can’t Get the Male Lead, I’ll Just Be a Salted Fish Chapter 19

Chu Cheng, afraid Xie Lanzhi wouldn’t believe it, deliberately went to the school forum to find a short video and sent it in the group. In the clip, a boy in sunglasses drove a convertible sports car along a mountain road, drifting with such speed he was nothing but a blur.

[Overlord Chu: Here, your hard evidence.]

[Red Carp and Green Carp and Donkey: D*mn, so zhuangbility, that’s really Little Love Letter? (Why do I just not believe this.jpg)]

 [Overlord Chu: Back in freshman year he was already a show-off king. This video was even posted by himself on the forum.]

 [Red Carp and Green Carp and Donkey: But now he’s clearly all soft and cute!]

 [Overlord Chu: Maybe he got soul-swapped. (picks nose)]

 [Shuimenjian: …]

 [Red Carp and Green Carp and Donkey: Lanzhi bro, looks like you got played. (candle emoji)]

 [Overlord Chu: Lu bro, see through but don’t point it out. (zip mouth)]

 [Red Carp and Green Carp and Donkey: Who would’ve thought our Young Master Xie would turn into Driver Xie. (Trying hard not to laugh.gif but sorry, I can’t, laughing so loud.gif)]

[Shuimenjian: You guys think he lied just for fun?]

 [Red Carp and Green Carp and Donkey: What else?]

 [Overlord Chu: What else?]

 [Shuimenjian: Any other possibility.]

 [Red Carp and Green Carp and Donkey: Like?]

Xie Lanzhi’s fingers hovered over the screen, slowly typing: Like he’s setting up… But before the final “me” was typed out, he deleted everything.

[Shuimenjian: Forget it.]

 [Overlord Chu: Don’t forget it, Lanzhi bro! Qin Shu dared to play you, next time we play him back. He made you his driver, you can make him your servant!]

 [Red Carp and Green Carp and Donkey: Servant’s nothing, make him a maid.]

 [Overlord Chu: Or a catgirl!]

 [Shuimenjian: .]

 [Shuimenjian: Leave this alone. Don’t go looking for him either.]

 [Overlord Chu: No way, you’re just letting this go?]

 [Shuimenjian: No. I hold grudges.]

The taxi arrived. Even after getting in, Xie Lanzhi was still pondering Qin Shu’s motives for lying. Ever since he’d realized he was paying too much attention to this strange junior, he had been deliberately restraining himself, ignoring Qin Shu’s presence. He thought he was calmer now, but then Qin Shu pulled this stunt, stirring up ripples in his heart again.

—This junior is basically toxic.

Xie Lanzhi’s gaze deepened as he stared at Qin Shu’s shōjo-anime-style WeChat avatar.

Qin Shu, meanwhile, had no idea Chu Cheng was busy digging him a pit. At the airport arrival gate, he didn’t wait long before spotting Qin Hua.

Qin Hua was in a suit and tie, jacket open so it didn’t look too stiff. His features resembled Qin Shu’s somewhat, his skin was pale, his handsome looks carrying a bit of…well, nicely put, flamboyance; less nicely put, pretentiousness.

In short, worthy of being “Qin Shu’s” older brother.

Seeing his younger brother, Qin Hua immediately ruffled Qin Shu’s hair into a mess. “Missed your brother?”

Qin Shu, with chicken-nest hair, grinned. “Of course.”

Qin Hua froze for a second, giving Qin Shu a strange look. “No, this isn’t right.”

“What’s not right?”

“You should’ve said something like, ‘Get lost, don’t touch me,’ or the like.”

Qin Shu’s smile faded. “Since you insist, I’ll oblige—Get lost, don’t touch me.”

Qin Hua’s expression brightened with satisfaction. “Yes yes yes, that’s the flavor. Come on, eat something with me first.”

“Sure, but you’re driving.”

“Why?”

“Because I don’t feel like it.”

Qin Hua had taken on a lot of family business and often traveled for work, so he knew the city well. He brought Qin Shu to a private restaurant, ordered a table full of dishes, and a bottle of wine.

“Come on Qin Shu, a toast to you. This Mid-Autumn, it’s just us two.”

Qin Shu hesitated. “I’m not really good at drinking.”

“Bullsh*t, you used to chug straight from the bottle.”

…Well, fine.

Qin Shu was forced to drink quite a bit. In the end, he got so drunk he couldn’t even recognize his brother, pestering him nonstop about whether he was really a 24-year-old virgin. Qin Hua finally carried him to a hotel room, where he slept straight until the next noon.

That afternoon, Qin Hua took Qin Shu shopping, buying heaps of ridiculously expensive luxury goods. In the evening they ate at a fancy Chinese restaurant, video-called their parents abroad during the meal, and finally the brothers each ate half a mooncake. Just like that, Mid-Autumn Festival was over.

Nothing particularly meaningful happened (unless you count spending six figures), but this was the first Mid-Autumn Festival in years that Qin Shu didn’t spend alone. How to put it—he felt a little awkward, but he actually liked it.

The day after the festival, Qin Shu sent Qin Hua to the airport—or more accurately, Qin Hua drove himself to the airport. Before leaving, Qin Hua tossed Qin Shu a credit card: “The monthly limit is five hundred thousand. Enough?”

Five hundred thousand… Xie Lanzhi doesn’t even let him pay for duck neck; h*ll, he can’t even spend five thousand a month. He’s too used to being poor—it feels embarrassing.

Qin Shu said, “The money I have now is enough.”

Qin Hua shoved the card into Qin Shu’s hand, impatient: “Take it. The password’s your birthday.”

Qin Shu solemnly held the card, feeling it heavy in his hands—was he holding a credit card? No, this was deep brotherly love.

After putting Qin Hua on the plane, Qin Shu hesitated for a long while but still called a chauffeur. People always say you should practice driving more, but for his safety and others’, he figured it was better to keep chickening out.

The driver was a middle-aged uncle who got especially excited seeing Qin Shu’s car. Qin Shu gave him the school’s address and sat in the passenger seat scrolling through his Moments. The first post he saw was from Wang Youyu.

Wang Youyu had posted a landscape photo with a few RVs, a pool, and some scattered people, captioned: Hope we can see the moon tonight.

Qin Shu didn’t think much of it, about to scroll past, but suddenly felt something was off. He zoomed in little by little, and his pupils shrank.

F*ck—how come Xie Lanzhi and Xu Ning are in the same frame, standing so close! Just the thought that the two might be chatting, their favorability rising, made Qin Shu want to jump straight out of the car!

He quickly messaged Wang Youyu: 【Where are you right now!】

A few minutes later, Wang replied: 【At a guesthouse, why?】

【Uncle Qin: Is this the photography club’s group outing?】

【Wang Squid: Yeah.】

【Uncle Qin: Xie Lanzhi and Xu Ning are both there?】

 【Wang Squid: ?】

 【Uncle Qin: Answer me quick!】

 【Wang Squid: Yeah.】

 【Uncle Qin: (Sa Beining oxygen mask.jpg)】

Didn’t Xie Lanzhi say he was going home to spend time with his parents?! What the h*ll—his poor heart nearly gave out!

The chauffeur uncle saw how pale Qin Shu looked and asked, “Yo, kid, carsick? Want me to slow down?”

“No need, keep going! Just stick to the speed limit!” Qin Shu said darkly. “But we need to change the address.”

“Huh? To where?”

Qin Shu got the guesthouse address from Wang Youyu. “Mister, let’s gooo—my future happiness is in your hands!”

The uncle said, “Judging from your look, going after a girlfriend?”

“You could say that—no, it’s more important than chasing a girlfriend!”

“Got it!” The uncle instantly got into character. “Sit tight!”

On the way to the guesthouse, Qin Shu sent a message to Chu Cheng.

【Uncle Qin: !!!】

【Uncle Qin: Xie Lanzhi went with Ning Ning to the photography club outing!】

 【Bad Baby~: Oh. And? So?】

 【Uncle Qin: ……】

He realized he was being dumb. Xie Lanzhi was Chu Cheng’s idol—like he’d guard against him.

【Uncle Qin: Wang Squid is there too.】

 【Bad Baby~: D*mn!】

 【Uncle Qin: Where are you right now?】

 【Bad Baby~: At my grandma’s in the countryside, won’t be back for a while. Sh*t, what if that squid bullies Xu Ning again.】

 【Bad Baby~: Wait, you said Brother Lan is there? Then I’ll ask Brother Lan to protect Xu Ning.】

 【Uncle Qin: (Black guy with question marks.jpg)】

 【Uncle Qin: What blasphemous thing did you just say, delete that right now!!!】

 【Bad Baby~: ??? Are you having another episode?】

 【Uncle Qin: Don’t go to Xie Lanzhi. I’m already on the way to the guesthouse—leave everything to me.】

 【Bad Baby~: You’re useless.】

Qin Shu couldn’t take it anymore and switched to voice: “If you dare go to Xie Lanzhi, I’ll die in front of you!!!”

Chu Cheng yelled back: “If you’re sick, go get treatment!”

The chauffeur uncle: … This Xie Lanzhi must’ve really screwed him over.

Xie Lanzhi, for his part, hadn’t originally planned on going to the outing, but the club president repeatedly invited him, even saying they needed his equipment. In the end, he agreed.

The guesthouse was in the suburbs, a rare RV-style setup. The RVs weren’t as good as hotels, but they had everything, with windmills, a pool, rice fields, and pasture nearby—perfect for taking photos.

Photography was one of Xie Lanzhi’s hobbies. He’d joined the photography club his freshman year, occasionally joining activities. He’d spent his sophomore year abroad, during which the club took in new members. At this event, he only recognized a few familiar faces—Xu Ning among them.

Xu Ning greeted him first, and Xie Lanzhi’s very first thought was: That’s the guy Qin Shu likes.

He gave Xu Ning a serious look for the first time and said, “Am I remembering wrong, or were you skinnier before?”

Xu Ning laughed. “Been working out—it’s paid off. I’ve bulked up a bit.”

Xie Lanzhi nodded, then casually asked, “Have you known Qin Shu for a long time?”

Xu Ning paused. “For a while.”

“Qin Shu, he…”

“Hm?”

Xie Lanzhi hesitated. “Never mind.” He didn’t really have any position to be concerned about someone else’s love life.

They chatted a little before going about their own things. A timid junior girl shyly asked him to go take photos by the windmills together, but he declined, saying he’d left his camera in the car.

The girl didn’t give up. “Then I’ll go with you to get it?”

Xie Lanzhi said, “No need. You all go ahead.”

The junior girl walked away rather disappointed. Xie Lanzhi hadn’t lied to her; he really had forgotten to bring his camera. He went back alone to the parking lot of the guesthouse and heard the roar of an engine. A familiar sports car sped into the lot—it was the very one he had driven two days ago.

Xie Lanzhi narrowed his eyes slightly.

The chauffeur parked the car, and once Qin Shu had paid, he got out impatiently. At a glance, he saw Xie Lanzhi not far away.

Fortunately, fortunately—Xu Ning wasn’t at his side.

Qin Shu ran over to him, slightly out of breath. “Se—Senior, I…”

Xie Lanzhi cut him off: “Who is he?”

Qin Shu looked blank. “Who?” Following his gaze, he said, “Oh, that’s the chauffeur I hired.”

Xie Lanzhi looked at him for a long moment, then said lightly, “Not bad—you really do pay attention to details and consistency.”

Qin Shu was full of little question marks. “…Huh?”

Author’s note:
Senior: I’m just watching coldly as you lie through your teeth.

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