If I Can’t Get the Male Lead, I’ll Just Be a Salted Fish Chapter 21

The club president girl flicked her sleeves and departed, hiding her name and her true strength, leaving Qin Shu bewildered in the wind.

He had miscalculated. He never would have thought that the “big boss” of this club trip would turn out to be a “Lan-Ning” shipper. If she really “abused her power” and arranged for Xu Ning and Xie Lanzhi to spend a night together in the same RV, the “Lan-Ning sugar” would be sweet enough to kill—and he himself could be killed by it.

He absolutely could not allow that to happen. But he wasn’t even a member of the photography club. He was only here by shamelessly clinging to Xu Ning’s connection. How could he possibly meddle in the president’s arrangements?

Qin Shu fell into despair.

At six in the evening, the first round of shooting wrapped up. The guesthouse had prepared ingredients, seasonings, and equipment for a self-serve barbecue. All they needed to do was wash the food, skewer it, and grill it.

The club president girl divided up the work: “We need two people to wash the vegetables—Lanzhi, Xu Ning, can you two do it?”

Qin Shu: “……” The h*ll, it’s already starting?

Xu Ning: “Sure.”

Xie Lanzhi: “Okay.”

The club president girl looked at Qin Shu with meaningful eyes. “We also need two people to cut the food. Qin Shu, Wang Youyu—okay?”

Qin Shu and Wang Youyu exchanged a glance. Unwilling, but unable to refuse: “Fine.”

The sink was some distance away, leaving only Xie Lanzhi and Xu Ning in that area—in other words, practically alone. Qin Shu kept cutting, but his eyes strayed toward them again and again. Yet the pork belly he was slicing came out paper-thin, even as thin as cicada wings, each piece uniform. Wang Youyu, standing beside him, was so distracted by the sight that he forgot to watch Xu Ning.

“You… how did you do that?”

“Huh?”

“Isn’t meat supposed to be really hard to cut?”

At this, Qin Shu was confident: “Yeah, it’s tough. But I’ve got good knife skills. I could dice carrots into meat cubes if I wanted.” Back when he lived alone, he often cooked. His cooking skills were probably on par with most moms of his peers.

Wang Youyu said: “Didn’t expect that.”

“You tell me—what do you think Lanzhi and Xu Ning are doing right now?”

“Washing vegetables.”

“Do you think they might be chatting while they wash? Starting from poetry and songs, all the way to life philosophy?” Qin Shu said nervously.

Wang Youyu: “……” Qin Shu had said before that Xie Lanzhi was his biggest obstacle to reuniting with Xu Ning. He hadn’t taken it seriously. But now, he was starting to suspect Qin Shu was pulling him into delusion. Lanzhi and Xu Ning were just quietly washing vegetables, but the more he looked, the more it seemed dangerous.

“I’m not that good at cutting vegetables,” Wang Youyu said.

Qin Shu glanced at his lotus root slices and said honestly: “Actually, they’re fine.”

Wang Youyu: “I like washing vegetables more than cutting. Do you think Lanzhi would switch with me?”

“Well, well.” That was an idea. Qin Shu didn’t like Xu Ning getting too close to anyone but Baby, but Wang Youyu was a much smaller threat than Xie Lanzhi. Between two evils, choose the lesser one. “You can try.”

Wang Youyu set down his knife and walked over. “Xie Lanzhi?”

Xie Lanzhi looked up. “Mm?”

“I’m not good at cutting. Qin Shu was criticizing me,” Wang Youyu lied without blinking. “Can we switch? I’ll wash the vegetables, you come cut.”

Xie Lanzhi paused, then: “Okay.”

Xu Ning asked: “Do you know how to cut?”

Xie Lanzhi: “Yes.”

The two switched. Now the one cutting beside Qin Shu was Xie Lanzhi. He looked at the pork belly Qin Shu had already sliced and seemed a bit surprised: “You cut this?”

“Yeah, it’s my specialty,” Qin Shu said. “Since you agreed to switch, that must mean you can cook too, right?” After all, as the official “gong,” in sweet romance stories, eight out of ten gongs had maxed out cooking skills. Xie Lanzhi couldn’t be the exception.

Xie Lanzhi was silent for a moment. “Mm.”

As expected. “Then can I trouble you to score the chicken wings? Makes it easier to marinate.”

“…Okay.”

Qin Shu buried himself back in work, now slicing beef. Cutting beef required technique—you had to slice across the grain. Qin Shu had just finished a piece when he noticed Xie Lanzhi holding his phone, typing something.

He hadn’t meant to peek, but they were close together, and with his 1.2 vision, the words “how to score chicken wings” were crystal clear.

After gathering wisdom from the internet, Xie Lanzhi picked up the knife to try. From the way he was holding it alone, Qin Shu knew how unreliable this was going to be.

“Pfft—” Xie Lanzhi couldn’t cook, and yet he dared to act like a gong? Whoever ended up with him would have to drag their sore waist out of bed after exercise and still cook for him—what a miserable life!

Xie Lanzhi glanced at him calmly. “What’s so funny?”

Qin Shu grinned slyly. “Senior, do you really know how to cook?”

Xie Lanzhi remained calm: “I know a little.”

Qin Shu tilted his head and leaned in under his eyelids, looking up at him. “Senior, look me in the eyes and say it again.”

Xie Lanzhi lowered his gaze to Qin Shu. From Qin Shu’s angle, he could see Lanzhi’s long eyelashes and the elegant lines of his jaw.

…So, so handsome.

Qin Shu’s breath caught. He immediately straightened up, keeping a safe distance from Xie Lanzhi.

Tch, how stupid—he’d experienced the power of Xie Lanzhi’s looks before. Wasn’t this asking for trouble? But if Xie Lanzhi didn’t know how to cut vegetables, why agree to swap with Wang Youyu? Strange.

“If you’re not very good, I can teach you,” Qin Shu said. “Consider it repayment for teaching me how to drive.”

Xie Lanzhi said: “You still can’t drive?”

“I can, just not very confidently. At least, I don’t dare drive alone yet.”

Xie Lanzhi said slowly: “You’re implying I’ll accompany you to practice driving?”

“Huh?” Qin Shu hadn’t thought that, but since Lanzhi brought it up, he wasn’t going to say no. “If you’re not busy.”

Xie Lanzhi smiled ambiguously: “I’m not busy.”

“Senior, you really are a—”

“No need for a ‘nice guy’ card. Come demonstrate how to score the chicken wings,” Xie Lanzhi said lightly. “Teacher.”

…Teacher? What a shameful title! This d*mn man was radiating that infuriatingly sweet aura again!

Qin Shu was grateful that Xu Ning wasn’t standing beside Lanzhi; if he had heard him call him “teacher,” he might have used the knife to slash his own throat.

Qin Shu composed himself. “Scoring chicken wings is simple. Just slice like this, then like this—”

The washed and cut ingredients had already been placed on the grill. The aroma of cumin-grilled meat wafted over, making Qin Shu’s eyes water at the corners. He sighed: “How much sorrow can a man have? Cumin teppanyaki beef.”

Xie Lanzhi said: “You go ahead and eat first.”

“That feels a bit rude.”

“Don’t worry, it’s already paid for.”

Qin Shu blinked, confused: “Paid for what?”

“The cost of the team-building activity. Three hundred per person.”

Qin Shu was even more confused: “Who paid for me?”

“Guess.”

Xie Lanzhi had expected Qin Shu to say Xu Ning, but instead he said: “Since you’re asking, it must be you.”

“…Well, that’s not dumb.”

“Three hundred, huh? I’ll transfer it to you now.”

Xie Lanzhi said: “Eat first.”

Qin Shu transferred the money to Xie Lanzhi, not bothering with formalities. “I’ll come back to take it from you.”

Qin Shu wandered around a bit. With so many people, the senior in charge of the grill noticed he looked handsome and gave him three freshly grilled skewers of meat on the bone.

Xie Lanzhi finished cutting his chicken wings, then looked for his junior. He saw Qin Shu eat one skewer himself, then give one to Xu Ning, and finally return with the last skewer. “Senior, here.”

The skewers looked great, with sizzling oil still glistening.

Xie Lanzhi casually remarked: “As a ‘playboy,’ it’s important to spread the wealth, right?”

Qin Shu: “???” Confused beyond belief, all alone in this state of bewilderment.

“If there were only two skewers, who would you give one to?”

Qin Shu froze. “Huh?”

As soon as the question came out, Xie Lanzhi regretted it. The power of “419 double” seemed strong—even he fell for it, doing childish things only a primary-school kid would. “Forget it,” he said. “Eat it yourself.”

“…Oh.” Qin Shu thought Xie Lanzhi was getting stranger and stranger—had he been soul-swapped too?

After dinner, the group played board games together. The club president kept egging Xu Ning and Xie Lanzhi to play the outdated “Truth or Dare.” Before Lanzhi could say “not interested,” Qin Shu held up his phone. “Senior, want to queue up for some ranked matches? I’ll take Zhong Kui, one versus five is fine.”

Xie Lanzhi smiled. “Sure.”

The club president glanced at him and made a “decapitation” motion toward Qin Shu, which he pretended not to see.

Qin Shu eagerly moved his chair next to Xie Lanzhi. “Shall we invite three more who know how to spam ‘666’?”

“No need,” Xie Lanzhi said. “Duo queue.”

Xie Lanzhi hadn’t played much this season; his rank was still low. He and Qin Shu entered the game. Qin Shu picked Zhong Kui immediately on the first floor. Lanzhi, on the second floor, pre-selected Sun Wukong on the fifth and said, “You play jungle, I’ll carry you all.”

But Xie Lanzhi ignored him and confidently locked in Li Bai.

Fifth floor: “???”

Fifth floor: “Are you sick? Not gonna waste words, AFK.”

Xie Lanzhi’s stats: 97% win rate, 105 matches.

Fifth floor: “Li Bai, good luck! I’ll pick Yao support!”

Qin Shu: “…Men.”

After three games, Qin Shu won all three. He experienced the joy of being carried by a “wild king” for the first time—pure bliss.

“Senior, do you play games often?”

Xie Lanzhi: “Not really, less than an hour a day.”

“Then why are you so good! Even in PUBG!”

Xie Lanzhi gently tapped Qin Shu’s forehead with his phone. “Skill is part of it, but more important is awareness and brain.”

“Oh!” Qin Shu felt mentally crushed.

Xie Lanzhi looked up. “The moon’s out.”

Qin Shu glanced at the sky. “So round! Rounder than Snowball’s face.”

Xie Lanzhi was silent a few seconds. “Snowball’s face isn’t round.”

Qin Shu laughed. “Senior, not taking a photo?”

“This is fine,” Xie Lanzhi said. “No photos.”

“Did you eat mooncakes yesterday?”

“Mm.”

“What filling?”

Qin Shu asked casually. Xie Lanzhi actually thought for a moment. “Forgot.”

The two of them chatted casually as night fully fell. Some people wanted to rest first and went to ask the club president’s younger sister for the RV keys. Instead, she gathered everyone together and said, “Someone suggested adding some excitement. How about drawing lots to decide tonight’s roommates? Of course, boys with boys, girls with girls—if we want excitement, we go all the way.”

Qin Shu: …You’re so shameless.