If I Can’t Get the Male Lead, I’ll Just Be a Salted Fish Chapter 24

“Emmmm,” Qin Shu rubbed his chin in a thinking pose. “You could only say one is open crush, the other is secret crush? Then it should be the secret crush that’s stronger, right? Afraid that if he makes the open crush known, they can’t even stay friends or something.”

Xie Lanzhi gave a meaningful “oh.” 

“So then he should be glad—glad that in the player’s ‘love-everyone-he-sees,’ he’s the most beloved one.”

Qin Shu glared at him in disbelief. “Glad to be liked by a scumbag? Has this person lost his mind?”

“Yeah,” Xie Lanzhi gave a light laugh. “I also think his brain’s full of water.” Clearly knowing the other person was a player, yet still unable to stop caring—besides brain damage, he couldn’t think of another explanation.

Qin Shu’s phone buzzed several times in a row. He looked—it was all photos from Chu Cheng. With lousy photography skills and non-professional gear, Chu Cheng’s sunrise shots made Qin Shu feel staying in the hotel to sleep in with Xie Lanzhi was sheer genius.

Qin Shu casually snapped a photo and sent it.

【Bad Baby~: What’s this?】 

【Uncle Qin: Century egg solo porridge, delicious. (satisfied.jpg)】

 【Bad Baby~: F*ck, I haven’t even eaten breakfast yet.】

 【Uncle Qin: (so tragic, but what’s it to me.jpg)】

 【Bad Baby~: Get lost!!!】

 【Bad Baby~: We’re getting ready to take the guesthouse bus back to the city. What about you and Brother Lan?】

Qin Shu looked up at Xie Lanzhi: “Senior, how are we going back?”

Xie Lanzhi said: “Drive.”

【Uncle Qin: My senior says drive.】

 【Bad Baby~: Got it, dismissed.】

Qin Shu really wanted to ask about last night’s “Cheng-Ning” situation. Two guys alone in a room, plus that “romantic” hammer gift earlier—he didn’t dare hope his “dumb son” grew up overnight, but at least he should have realized his feelings by now, right?

He had just typed a few words when Xie Lanzhi said: “Finish your solo porridge, let’s head back early.”

Qin Shu put down his phone. “Okay~.”

After brunch, Xie Lanzhi checked out, and as last night, let Qin Shu drive them back to the guesthouse to pick up his car. Two people, two cars, each driving their own—nothing to say.

Qin Shu watched pitifully as Xie Lanzhi unbuckled his seatbelt. “Senior.”

“Mm.”

“Maybe I should just hire a driver,” Qin Shu wimped out. “It takes over an hour to get back to school, and we’ll be on the highway too.”

Xie Lanzhi held back from exposing Qin Shu’s true colors. “Weren’t you driving just fine earlier?”

“That’s because senior was in the passenger seat,” Qin Shu said. “With you watching me, I dared to drive.”

Xie Lanzhi’s tone was cool. “Do I look that much like a driving school instructor?”

Qin Shu laughed on the steering wheel: “If senior opened a driving school, business would be booming.”

“Thanks for the entrepreneurial advice,” Xie Lanzhi said. “But your passenger seat can’t always be me. What, without me, you won’t drive?”

Qin Shu mumbled: “I’ll slowly practice later…”

“Start practicing now.”

Qin Shu frowned, twisting his fingers, every bit of tangled, scared, nervous, yet itching-to-try emotion painted vividly on him. For a moment, Xie Lanzhi even wondered if he had misunderstood Qin Shu.

“Forget it,” Xie Lanzhi couldn’t stand his pitiful junior’s look. “I’ll ride with you.”

Qin Shu asked: “Then what about your car?”

“I’ll have someone drive it back later.”

Qin Shu sat dazed for a bit in the driver’s seat, then steeled himself. “I’ll just drive back myself. Driving’s something you get better at with practice—I’ll have to get on the road alone sooner or later.”

Xie Lanzhi asked: “You sure?”

Qin Shu nodded. “You go ahead and lead, I’ll just follow you.”

“Alright.” Xie Lanzhi opened the door to get out, but Qin Shu called after him again: “Or… how about we voice call while driving? If I can hear you, I think I’ll feel calmer.”

Xie Lanzhi said: “Sure.”

The two cars left the guesthouse one after another. Xie Lanzhi’s speed was only moderate, but to Qin Shu, it felt absurdly fast.

Qin Shu: “Senior, can you go a little slower?”

Xie Lanzhi: “This is fast?”

Qin Shu: “I think it’s a bit.”

Xie Lanzhi: “If you’re too slow on the road, it inconveniences other vehicles, especially where overtaking isn’t allowed.”

Qin Shu: “Okay then…”

As soon as they hit the highway, Xie Lanzhi immediately accelerated. Hearing the engine’s roar and watching the speedometer push 120, Qin Shu’s legs went a little weak. But soon he realized—on the highway there were no red lights, no pedestrians, smooth roads. Even if the speed was high, it was much easier than driving in the city.

Qin Shu followed behind Xie Lanzhi’s car. The whole trip was smooth until they exited the highway and returned to the city—then the traffic jam began.

Xie Lanzhi glanced at the navigation app. A large swath of red.

Qin Shu asked, “Was there an accident?”

Xie Lanzhi said, “Holiday return peak. Standard procedure. You’ll get used to it.”

The cars inched forward bit by bit. Qin Shu kept in mind to maintain distance from the car in front. He only pressed the gas once Xie Lanzhi’s car had moved a little ahead. He didn’t expect a white sedan next to him to suddenly change lanes and cut in. He slammed on the brakes immediately, but it was still too late.

With a not-so-loud thud, the front of the sports car bumped into the side of the white car. Qin Shu’s body lurched forward violently, and a single thought flashed through his mind—he hadn’t yet seen “Cheng Ning” get married. He couldn’t die now!

From the rearview mirror, Xie Lanzhi saw the whole thing. He decisively pulled over, jumped out, and ran toward Qin Shu. “Qin Shu!”

Qin Shu sat dazed. Only when he heard the knocking on the window did he snap back to himself. Trembling, he rolled it down, face pale. “Senior, am I done for?”

Xie Lanzhi’s expression wasn’t good either. “No.”

“Then… did I get someone else done for?”

“At this speed, no one’s going to be hurt.”

“That’s good.” Qin Shu let out a breath of relief, then hurried to explain, “That car suddenly cut in. I listened to what you said—slow down but don’t swerve. But it still hit me.”

“Mm. I know Little Love Letter is very obedient.” Xie Lanzhi’s voice was low and deep, like coaxing someone. “Can you keep being obedient?”

Under his gaze, Qin Shu quickly calmed down. “I can. What should I do?”

“For a minor accident, don’t block traffic. Move the car to the side first.”

Qin Shu nodded. “Okay.”

Once Qin Shu was settled, Xie Lanzhi went to negotiate with the white car’s driver and got him to move as well. The collision wasn’t serious: just a little scraped paint and a dent on both cars.

The white car’s owner was a young man, about twenty-five, probably just a few years out of school. His face was even uglier than Qin Shu’s. He’d already looked up the price of that red sports car online—if his own car wasn’t insured, he might have to sell his house.

When he saw that the driver of the sports car was just a young guy, he felt even more bitter. Before Qin Shu could speak, he snapped, “Are you even of age to drive?”

Qin Shu hadn’t expected the person fully at fault to still act arrogant. He immediately gave up on friendly negotiations. “I’ve been of age for over a year. So what?”

“You didn’t see me changing lanes?”

Qin Shu was stunned. Where did this once-in-a-thousand-years weirdo come from? “Did you signal?”

“You couldn’t tell without the signal?”

Xie Lanzhi said coldly, “Lane-cutting must be so much fun.”

The man blustered even though he was in the wrong. “If you didn’t want to be cut off, you should’ve kept closer to the car ahead. If you can’t drive, don’t get on the road.”

Qin Shu retorted, “Nope. The road doesn’t belong to your family.”

“Enough nonsense,” Xie Lanzhi said. “You’re fully at fault. Call the insurance company.”

Though still angry, the man knew he was indeed fully liable. After calling his insurer, he muttered under his breath, “Rich second-gens sure are something. Can’t afford to mess with them.”

Qin Shu’s sports car was too flashy, and he himself was a handsome kid. Him and the car together were already eye-catching at the roadside—and standing next to him was Xie Lanzhi. Before long, they had a crowd of onlookers. Qin Shu even had a premonition he’d end up on trending searches. He’d already drafted the headline in his head: Tragic! Camry collides with Porsche, owner forced to sell house in tears.

The gap between rich and poor was always a hot topic. The crowd whispered among themselves, and some people started recording videos. Seeing this, the man raised his voice even louder. “So hard, fighting tooth and nail through college, finding a good job, only to run into a rich brat and get dragged back to square one, everything gone in an instant.”

An older auntie in the crowd asked, “Young man, how much do you have to pay?”

The man gave a bitter smile. “Who knows? At least a hundred thousand. For them, that’s just one designer bag. For me, it’s a year’s salary.”

“…” Qin Shu tugged on Xie Lanzhi’s sleeve. “Senior, aren’t we getting morally kidnapped here?”

Xie Lanzhi tilted his face down and murmured in his ear, “As long as we don’t have morals, they can’t kidnap us.”

Qin Shu burst out laughing, his mood completely lightened.

Not long after, the insurance company arrived and went through the procedures. Qin Shu had to leave his car at the designated dealership for assessment before moving on with compensation.

Leaving the sports car at the shop, Xie Lanzhi drove Qin Shu back to campus. Seeing the familiar dorm building, Qin Shu felt like, Finally, I’m back.

Qin Shu unfastened his seatbelt. “I’ll head up then.”

Xie Lanzhi said, “Don’t worry about the car. It’ll be handled.”

“Oh, I wasn’t really worried anyway.” Qin Shu opened the door. “Thanks for these past two days, Senior.”

“Qin Shu.”

Qin Shu turned back. “Yeah?”

Xie Lanzhi asked, “You really don’t know how to drive?”

Qin Shu blinked, baffled. Wasn’t that obvious? “Do I not look like a newbie?”

“You do.” Xie Lanzhi smiled. “Way too much like one.”

When Qin Shu returned to the dorm, Chu Cheng had just come out of the shower. “Didn’t you and Brother Lan drive back? How’d you get here later than us?”

“There was a little accident.” Qin Shu stared straight at Chu Cheng’s bare upper body. The kid’s build was as solid as ever—just missing some kiss marks and scratches. “Did you also walk out yesterday after showering with nothing on? Hm? Did you?”

“You blind? You think I’m wearing nothing now?” Chu Cheng slapped his pants. “What’s this then, a diaper?”

Qin Shu’s tone turned suggestive. “I mean, what did you wear in front of Ning Ning.”

Chu Cheng snorted. “None of your business.”

“Fine, don’t say it.” Qin Shu said. He could fill in the blanks himself.

Chu Cheng looked at him, words on the tip of his tongue, “You… you’re still chasing him?”

Qin Shu didn’t react for a moment. “Chasing who?”

“Who else could it be,” Chu Cheng said, “Xu Ning.”

Qin Shu’s whole body jolted. Baby suddenly bringing this up, could it be…? He suppressed the excitement bubbling inside and asked back, “Do you want me to keep chasing him?”

Chu Cheng was stuck for a while, then said irritably, “Chase or don’t chase, whatever you want.”

“Oh. I’m going to the bathroom.”

Once the bathroom door closed, Qin Shu clenched both fists, stomping his feet as he silently howled to the heavens—Almost, almost! He had a premonition his Baby was about to figure things out, and all his years of hard work were finally about to welcome the dawn of victory!

***

Qin Shu’s premonition only half came true. His car accident didn’t make it to the trending searches, but it did hit the school forum, where it stayed on the homepage for a while.

The accident site wasn’t far from school, and a classmate recognized Xie Lanzhi, snapping a few photos and posting them on the forum. After class, Qin Shu ate with Chu Cheng while scrolling through the thread.

【Title: Xie Lanzhi’s car got hit?】

【1L: Got gossip?】

【5L: The red Porsche that got hit, right? That’s not Xie Lanzhi’s car, the black Audi next to it is.】

【7L: The Porsche should be Qin Shu’s, saw him show it off here before.】

【10L: Since when do Xie Lanzhi and Qin Shu hang out? I thought he was the “clean stream” among the rich second-gen.】

【12L: Feel sorry for the Camry owner.】

【13L: The Camry driver’s fully at fault, what the h*ll are you pitying? So it’s always “the weak are in the right”?】

After posting a reply under 13L, Qin Shu still didn’t feel satisfied, so he turned to Chu Cheng beside him: “Lend me your account, I’ll wreck them.”

“Why use mine?”

“So it looks like there’s more of us.”

“No need to bother with those idiots. Don’t you think it cheapens you?”

“Nope,” Qin Shu said. “Clapping back makes me happy.”

Too lazy to argue, Chu Cheng just handed over his phone. “Here, log in yourself.”

Qin Shu started spamming replies with Chu Cheng’s account: 【to 10L, not only do Xie Lanzhi and Qin Shu hang out, Xie Lanzhi even treated him to duck necks, how mad are you?】 He originally wanted to add that they slept together too, but then thought better of it—Xie Lanzhi’s straight-guy reputation was important, and he had to protect it.

Chu Cheng teased, “Are you planning to talk about those duck necks for the rest of your life? By the way, sounds like you and Lanzhi-bro are pretty tight now?”

“It’s alright, we make do.” He hadn’t meant to become friends with Xie Lanzhi, but the school grass was just too sweet—he held back and held back, but still couldn’t resist.

“And yet you tricked him into being your driver.”

Qin Shu was too absorbed in typing to listen, “Driver?”

“Didn’t you call yourself Qin · Fujiwara Takumi · Shu back in freshman year?” For Chu Cheng, nothing was more fun than dragging out a roommate’s black history. “There are still videos of you drifting on the forum. And you actually had the face to call yourself a newbie in front of Lanzhi-bro—where’s your shame?”

With a clatter, Qin Shu’s chopsticks fell. His jaw dropped too, like someone had shoved a light bulb into his mouth.

“Senior, he—he’s seen those videos?” Qin Shu heard himself ask. Last year, Xie Lanzhi had been abroad the whole time, and he didn’t seem the type to browse forums, but what if!

“He hadn’t, originally.”

Qin Shu’s voice cracked from fear. “Originally?”

Chu Cheng, bold enough to own up, said directly: “I sent them to him later.”

Qin Shu was spiraling into meltdown. “…Thanks a lot.”

Seeing Qin Shu’s face written all over with “life is meaningless,” even Chu Cheng got sheepish, muttering, “Well, you’re the one who lied first.”

Qin Shu was just wondering what method would let him die quickly when he got a WeChat from Xie Lanzhi.

【Xie Lanzhi: Are you free tonight.】

Qin Shu: “…” No! Not in this lifetime!

Author’s note:
Little Love Letter: This Baby, I don’t want anymore, you all can have him, no need to be polite. (smiles)

…