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If I Can’t Get the Male Lead, I’ll Just Be a Salted Fish Chapter 26

Qin Shu felt that what Xie Lanzhi said was even harder to understand than a professional course lecture.

He said he knew the reason Qin Shu did it, and even told him to keep going—Excuse me, keep going with what, exactly??

Xie Lanzhi noted Qin Shu’s shock. To be fair, he was surprised at himself too. Knowing someone was a playboy and still jumping into the sea to be one of his fish—no sane person would do that. He gave himself an excuse: apart from being a bit of a “player,” scatterbrained at times, and greedy for food, Qin Shu didn’t actually have major flaws of character. The absent-mindedness and gluttony couldn’t be helped for now, but the problem of being fickle… with effort, maybe it could change. Telling Qin Shu to “keep going” was his way of hoping Qin Shu could climb out of the sea and live like a decent person again. And when Qin Shu had finally reformed, able to like only one person… the rest could be dealt with later.

There were just a few minutes left before curfew, and the dorm supervisor was, as usual, urging late-returning boys to hurry up.

“Anything else?” Xie Lanzhi asked.

Snapping back to himself, Qin Shu pinched his burning earlobe. “No, that’s all.”

Xie Lanzhi glanced at that ear, which looked like it would feel good to touch. “Then head back, get some rest.”

“Oh, right!”

“Mm?”

“Senior, you don’t need to buy me duck neck or duck clavicle anymore,” Qin Shu said. “Three times a week is too much, it’s not healthy.” They were all pickled foods, and he’d been eating too much lately—he was starting to worry about cancer.

Just then, a boy in slippers carrying late-night noodles passed by. Hearing the second half of Qin Shu’s sentence, he almost spilled his snail noodles.

Qin Shu reached out to steady him. “Hey, bro, you okay?”

“I’m fine.” The boy’s expression was odd. “I didn’t hear anything. You two keep talking.”

He hurried off with his noodles. Qin Shu watched in amazement. “He can walk that fast in slippers, carrying hot food? Is he from the sports department?”

“The sports department doesn’t live in this dorm.” Xie Lanzhi asked, “Besides duck neck and clavicle, what else do you like to eat?”

“Oh, loads of things.”

“And what don’t you like?”

Qin Shu thought for a while. “Bitter melon.”

“You don’t like bitter flavors, so you prefer sweet?”

“I do like sweets.”

Xie Lanzhi nodded. “Got it.”

“Senior, why are you asking this?”

“No reason.” He almost reached for Qin Shu’s ear, but changed his mind midway, and instead tugged lightly at the drawstring of Qin Shu’s hoodie. “I need to go. See you tomorrow.”

“Oh…” Qin Shu was still a little dazed. “See you tomorrow.”

Qin Shu returned to the dorm full of question marks. Chu Cheng was already lying in bed. “Back from your episode? Turn off the light.”

Slowly, Qin Shu asked, “Don’t you think Xie Lanzhi’s been acting a little strange lately?”

Chu Cheng gave him a look beyond words. “How do you even have the face to call someone else strange? Isn’t the strangest one you?”

Qin Shu said proudly, “Well, that’s true.” When it came to weirdness, nobody could beat him.

Chu Cheng shook his head. “…What kind of person are you.”

***

After cramming for a while, Qin Shu’s level in professional classes had improved a bit. If before it was total gibberish, now it was about at Chu Cheng’s English listening level for the CET-6 exam: if lucky, he could catch a full sentence; most of the time he’d only understand one word or part of a phrase; and at worst, he understood nothing at all—like now.

After finishing a game, Chu Cheng looked up and found Qin Shu still staring at the PPT on the podium—but his gaze had long since gone vacant.

Chu Cheng whispered, “Do you understand what’s being said?”

Qin Shu shook his head.

“Then why are you still listening to class?”

Expressionless, Qin Shu replied, “The dignity of a top student doesn’t allow me to play on my phone.”

Chu Cheng muttered, “Hopeless,” then checked the time. “Later I’ve got a basketball game with Brother Lu and Brother Lan. Can you take my books back for me—or you wanna come with us? I remember you can play, right?”

Every Friday afternoon the three of them always played basketball together. Qin Shu was already used to it, but this was the first time Baby had invited him along. He felt quite gratified. “I can play, but I’m terrible, so I won’t go looking to get beaten up.”

Chu Cheng snorted, “At least you’re self-aware.”

“Of course. I can’t compare with you guys in basketball, but if you dare, try competing with me in the national sport.”

“You mean ping pong?”

“Exactly. Back in the day, I was the No. 3 seed in my entire neighborhood.”

“Alright then, we’ll play next time.”

Unconsciously, Qin Shu had already abandoned his top-student dignity and was chatting idly with Chu Cheng. Since their professional class was in small groups by administrative class, they kept their voices low and didn’t disturb others. Just a few minutes before class ended, the class group chat suddenly blew up.

[Programmer Cultivation Class 9]

 [Class Flower: @Sai Class Flower, holy cr*p, look out the window!!!]

 [Sai Class Flower: (scared-my-sunflower-seeds-fell.jpg)]

 [Sai Class Flower: It’s Brother Xie Lanzhi! Is he here to see me? =v=]

 [Class Flower: There’s only two girls in our class. If he’s not here for you, then he’s here for me. (Love’s-magic-spinning.gif)]

Chu Cheng and Qin Shu both turned to look out the window. Sure enough, Xie Lanzhi was standing at the classroom door—but he wasn’t alone, Lu Rulu was there too.

Qin Shu said sympathetically, “Brother Lu is being completely ignored.”

Typing as he spoke, Chu Cheng said, “Honestly, Brother Lu is pretty handsome too, but next to Brother Lan, he just can’t compare.”

“They’re here to get you for basketball?”

“Obviously,” Chu Cheng said smugly. “If they’re not here for me, are they here for you?”

“Not bad, Chu Cheng,” Qin Shu said sourly. “You’ve already become the group’s darling.” No longer Daddy’s only precious baby. Heartbreaking.

Chu Cheng sent a message to the group:
[Sorry to disappoint, but you’re overthinking. That’s my Brother Lan, he came for me. (sunglasses)(sunglasses)]

[Class Flower: Oh. (cold-face.jpg)]

 [Sai Class Flower: (so-amazing-wow.jpg)]

Not wanting to make Xie Lanzhi and Lu Rulu wait too long, Chu Cheng dashed out as soon as the bell rang.

“Brother Lan, Brother Lu,” Chu Cheng grinned, “didn’t we agree to meet at the court? How come you had time to pick me up?”

Lu Rulu jerked his chin toward Xie Lanzhi. “Ask him.”

Xie Lanzhi said, “It was on the way.”

Lu Rulu turned his head, mouthing: On the way, my *ss.

Xie Lanzhi pretended not to notice, then asked, “Where’s Qin Shu?”

“No idea, probably still packing up,” Chu Cheng said casually. “We’d better hurry or the court will be full.”

“Mm.” Just then, Xie Lanzhi saw Qin Shu come out with his backpack. He raised a hand and beckoned him over.

Qin Shu walked up to the three of them. “Huh, you guys haven’t left yet?”

Xie Lanzhi asked, “Wanna have dinner together tonight?”

“The four of us?”

After a second of hesitation, Xie Lanzhi answered, “Mm.”

Qin Shu didn’t think much of it. “Sure. How long are you guys gonna play?”

“About an hour,” Lu Rulu said.

“Then I’ll go with you to the court,” Qin Shu said. “It’s only an hour, I can just play three rounds of Honor of Kings.”

Xie Lanzhi: “Mm—here, take this.”

Qin Shu then noticed the paper bag in Xie Lanzhi’s hand, with a milk tea inside. “For me?”

“Mm.”

Lu Rulu: “…”

Chu Cheng: “…”

Qin Shu looked at Chu Cheng, then at Lu Rulu. Seeing their hands were empty, he was flustered and flattered. “Thanks, senior—but why?”

Xie Lanzhi said calmly, “Didn’t you say you like sweet things?”

“I did…” He did like sweet things, so if Xie Lanzhi brought him milk tea while picking up Baby, it kind of made sense?

Chu Cheng said in confusion, “So I didn’t get milk tea because I don’t like sweets?”

Lu Rulu patted his shoulder. “Don’t worry, I’ve got it worse. I do like sweets. But what can you do—our faces aren’t as sweet as Little Love Letter’s.”

Under Chu Cheng and Lu Rulu’s envious, resentful gazes, Qin Shu opened the milk tea and took a big sip. The one Xie Lanzhi bought had more tea than milk, with a fragrant clean taste, plus chewy taro balls. The texture was great, not cloying at all. Qin Shu felt like he could drink a hundred cups.

But as he drank, Qin Shu suddenly felt something was off. Wasn’t the whole point of the duck necks and duck clavicle to teach that pushy shop auntie a lesson? How had it turned into some kind of daily feeding mission? If not for knowing Xie Lanzhi was still straight for now—and that only a great beauty like Xu Ning could possibly bend him—Qin Shu would have suspected Xie Lanzhi was actually chasing him.

By that hour, the court was packed, no free spots left. Guys playing ball didn’t care much; strangers could always join. Lu Rulu found a court with relatively fewer people and shouted, “Hey, mind if we add three?”

“Sure,” one of the guys agreed. “Just right for 3-on-3.”

Chu Cheng counted, “Doesn’t that make one extra?”

Xie Lanzhi said, “You guys go first, I’ll sub in when you’re tired.”

Chu Cheng and Lu Rulu warmed up and went on court. Qin Shu and Xie Lanzhi sat on the bench at the side.

Xie Lanzhi asked, “Wanna play your game?”

“Or maybe let’s buy them a few bottles of water first,” Qin Shu said. “Looks like they didn’t bring any.”

Xie Lanzhi nodded. “Alright.”

The two of them went together to a nearby convenience store. Xie Lanzhi took a few bottles of sports drinks from the cooler, but Qin Shu said, “Wait, Chu Cheng doesn’t like drinking that.” He picked another one instead. “This is his favorite.”

Xie Lanzhi’s eyes lifted slightly. He had played ball with Chu Cheng so many times, yet had never noticed Chu Cheng’s preferences. This junior, though, remembered them clearly.

At the register, Qin Shu noticed some lollipops on the counter and grabbed two. “Chu Cheng likes this flavor. I’ll bring him one.”

When Qin Shu returned fully loaded, the guys on the court were playing hard. He saw Chu Cheng snatch the ball from an opponent, make a quick counterattack, and score. Qin Shu immediately clapped like a seal. “Nice shot!”

Xie Lanzhi: “…”

After admiring Baby’s heroic display, Qin Shu turned to Xie Lanzhi. “Come on, senior, let’s start the game.”

Xie Lanzhi said nothing, just opened a match with him. With Xie Lanzhi the king of the jungle role on his side, Qin Shu felt free to practice a new hero. Even though his own stats by the end were tragic, the other team was even worse, and their crystal was taken down in just ten minutes.

Through it all, Xie Lanzhi didn’t say a word. Although he wasn’t usually very talkative, Qin Shu still caught onto a trace of something unusual.

“Senior, are you unhappy?”

Xie Lanzhi said, “What do you think?”

“Is it because I’m too bad?” Qin Shu asked guiltily. “Then I won’t practice heroes anymore.”

Just then, a guy on the court ran out of stamina and subbed out. Lu Rulu called for Xie Lanzhi to replace him.

Standing up, Xie Lanzhi said, “No.”

“Then…?”

Xie Lanzhi lowered his eyes to him. “When I see you being good to other people, I just don’t feel like talking to you.”

Qin Shu looked up at him, heart skipping a beat, tongue-tied.

“You play by yourself.” Xie Lanzhi shrugged off his jacket, tossed it into Qin Shu’s arms, and turned to walk onto the court.

Author’s note:
Senior: I’m only saving a playboy, don’t overthink it.

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If I Can’t Get the Male Lead, I’ll Just Be a Salted Fish

If I Can’t Get the Male Lead, I’ll Just Be a Salted Fish

抢不到男主,我决定咸鱼
Score 8.6
Status: Ongoing Type: Author: Native Language: Chinese
<All the World Loves Me> is a popular danmei novel with a super popular bottom. But the author refuses to reveal who the official top is, leaving readers to place their own bets. As a loyal fan of the novel, Qin Shu had staked his entire heart and soul on one particular top. Every day he cheered like a die-hard sports fan, waving the flag for his precious boy’s victory. Then one day, Qin Shu woke up inside the novel—only to find he had become the worst possible “stock” in the stock market, a mere catalyst to boost other CPs’ feelings. To help his OTP come true as soon as possible, Qin Shu threw himself into playing his role perfectly, removing all obstacles for his chosen top, and guarding fiercely against the “super popular stock” Xie Lanzhi. Qin Shu: Anyone who tries to break up my ship will have soda cans without pull-tabs, and instant noodles without seasoning packets for the rest of their life! Xie Lanzhi: Little idiot. After tireless efforts, Qin Shu finally watched with a smile as his chosen top successfully won the beauty’s heart—mission accomplished. Other “stocks”: Qin Shu, don’t give up! As long as they aren’t married, we still have a chance! Qin Shu: I’m exhausted. I’ll just let them be happy. Farewell, brothers. (waves with tears) Other “stocks”: Why does it suddenly feel so boring? What’s with this hollow feeling? Qin Shu, come back and fight over him with us! Qin Shu: Being a salted-fish slacker is just too comfortable. His former “love rival” Xie Lanzhi finally lost patience, came to find the lounging Qin Shu, grabbed him up, and said: Want to lie around like a salted fish? Go do it in my bed. Reading Notes:
  1. In both the “main character” and “supporting character” lists, the bottom is listed first.

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