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If I Can’t Get the Male Lead, I’ll Just Be a Salted Fish Chapter 30

Shipping candy is important. Coaxing a senior who suddenly gets angry for no reason is also kind of important. Not to mention this senior just took him and his baby boy to the hospital, running around for the two of them. Qin Shu had no way to repay him, except to do his best to keep his mood happy.

From behind, Lu Rulu shouted at him: “You little cripple, what are you running for?”

Qin Shu didn’t hear, didn’t respond.

Lu Rulu glanced at Qin Shu chasing after Xie Lianzhi, then at Chu Cheng, who was clearly in pain (his face practically green) but still putting up a front while being carefully fussed over by Xu Ning—just now swearing the burn felt like a mosquito bite. …Suddenly, he felt baldly, utterly left out.

The bustle belonged to others. He was lonely like he’d been photoshopped in.

Xie Lianzhi entered the elevator down to B1. Just as the doors were about to close, a hand stopped them. Qin Shu, breathing a little fast, appeared before him with a toothy smile: “Senior, I’ll go with you.” After saying so he walked in, stood obediently beside him with his hands behind his back. Noticing Xie Lianzhi looking at him, he turned his head with another grin: “What is it?”

Xie Lianzhi said coolly: “What’s with the running—an injury can’t stop your steps to fill the sea?”

“…Uh?”

“Xu Ning came. You’re not going to stay with him?”

Qin Shu grumbled internally: It’s not like I want to miss out on “Cheng-Ning” sugar either, but you’re the one who suddenly turned cold.

“He came for Chu Cheng, not for me.” Qin Shu pretended to be sad. “I should be under the car, not in it, seeing how sweet they are.”

Xie Lianzhi smiled faintly, but his eyes had little warmth. “Then don’t sit in the car later. Cling under it and ride home. SUV’s chassis is nice and high.”

Qin Shu laughed. “If I had that skill, I’d go shoot Mission: Impossible. What would I be studying computer science for?”

When they reached the car, Qin Shu said: “Actually, I had another purpose in coming here.”

Seated in the driver’s seat, Xie Lianzhi asked, “What purpose?”

“That is—” Qin Shu slipped into the passenger seat, quickly fastening his seat belt. “To steal senior’s shotgun seat. Chu Cheng sat here on the way over, so on the way back it should be my turn, right?”

Xie Lianzhi raised his brows. “If you sat in the back, you could have Chu Cheng on the left, Xu Ning on the right. Wouldn’t that be great?”

“Oh!” Xie’s words reminded Qin Shu. If he sat in the back, he could watch CP sugar from up close, 360 degrees with no blind spots. But no way would he sit directly between Xu Ning and Chu Cheng. He’d sit on one side, then slowly inch toward the middle, best if they were pressed into negative distance. “Then maybe I should sit in the back after all.”

Qin Shu opened the door to get out, but Xie Lianzhi grabbed him by the hood and pulled him back. “Don’t give up the shotgun you fought so hard for—sit tight.”

“…Oh.”

Xie Lianzhi drove to the hospital entrance, where the other three got in one after another: first Chu Cheng, then Lu Rulu, finally Xu Ning.

As soon as Lu Rulu sat down, he was hit with a dagger glance from the front passenger seat. Bewildered, he said: “What?”

Qin Shu grinned without smiling. “Nothing. Just thought you looked really bright.”

“Pretty?” Lu Rulu flicked his hair with flair. “Of course. I’m the prettiest kid in the whole village.”

Qin Shu turned to Xu Ning: “By the way, Ning Ning, weren’t you going home? Must’ve been tough coming all this way.”

“Totally unnecessary,” Chu Cheng said, taking advantage while pretending otherwise. “Going back and forth—what a hassle.”

Xu Ning just smiled good-naturedly. “Because Qin Shu told me you were in such pain you kept ‘howling’, I came.”

Chu Cheng’s face turned liver-red. He snapped: “When did I ever howl?! And you believe Qin Shu’s nonsense?”

Qin Shu said seriously: “I wouldn’t dare say anything, but in the face of facts, I never bow my head.”

Lu Rulu testified: “Besides, you really were howling.”

Qin Shu looked at Xie Lianzhi, focused on driving. “Senior, you saw it too, right?”

“Mm.”

Qin Shu barely held back his laughter. Sure, this damaged baby’s strong attacker image, but after being tricked by Chu Cheng so many times, Qin Shu’s urge to pit his son was unstoppable.

Chu Cheng looked like he wanted to kill someone, but couldn’t refute. After holding it in for a long time, he leaned over Lu Rulu and whispered to Xu Ning: “I really didn’t ‘howl’, it didn’t even hurt. Don’t believe them.”

To meet Chu Cheng’s eyes, Xu Ning leaned forward. “Okay, okay, okay, I believe you.”

Chu Cheng asked suspiciously: “Really?”

Xu Ning reached out and ruffled his hair. “Really.”

“Then… are you still going home?”

“I’m not. The six days left of vacation, I’ll spend them at school.”

Even then, Chu Cheng kept his mouth stiff: “It’s boring at school. If it were me, I’d definitely go home.”

Lu Rulu glanced left, then right, feeling something off. He stiffly leaned back to give them room to talk.

Not getting to sit in the back seat was a pity, but that didn’t stop Qin Shu from eating sugar. Xu Ning’s gentle, doting voice shot straight into his little heart. If he could, he’d record it and listen ten times a day.

This is the charm of shipping a younger wolf pup. Don’t be fooled by how Chu Cheng usually weaponizes sharp tongue and tsundere—like he’d been trained in a national research lab—but when it comes to Xu Ning, isn’t he still coaxed with a soft “okay, okay”? That’s the beauty of gap moe. Could you ever get this effect with an older partner?

Ah, younger guys make him happy—he loves younger guys for ten thousand years.

The happiness from shipping CP sugar halved Qin Shu’s pain, but he kept his leg bent, and the bandage and shorts pressed too tightly, still uncomfortable. He twisted a bit, and heard Xie Lianzhi ask, “Leg uncomfortable?”

“A little… I want to stretch it out.”

“You can recline the seat.”

Qin Shu fumbled around the chair. “Where’s the adjustment again?”

The light ahead turned red for about ninety seconds. Xie Lianzhi stopped the car, pulled the handbrake, placed one hand on the back of Qin Shu’s seat, and wrapped the other around him. He found the switch on the side and adjusted it back slightly. “Like this?”

Completely enveloped by Xie Lianzhi, Qin Shu unconsciously held his breath, lips slightly parted, dazed for a moment before saying, “A little… more back?”

Xie Lianzhi leaned closer. “Is it okay now?”

Qin Shu swallowed. “Keep going?”

Chu Cheng, sitting behind Qin Shu, shouted, “Stop! My legs have nowhere to go!”

Qin Shu snapped back to reality. “Seems fine now. Thanks, senior.”

Xie Lianzhi responded with a soft “Hmm,” straightened up, half-joking: “Who’s ‘my legs’? So rude.”

If Qin Shu had said Chu Cheng was rude, Chu Cheng would probably have thrown him out of the car. But in front of Xie Lianzhi, he’s always been the obedient little brother. Now, he quickly admitted his mistake: “Sorry, Brother Lan, I wasn’t talking about you. I meant Qin Shu.”

Lu Rulu, sitting in the middle of the four, had no idea what was going on and didn’t dare say a word.

Back at school, those going to the dorm went to the dorm; those going home went home. Qin Shu and Chu Cheng couldn’t use hot water on their wounds. After showering in awkward positions, they both got on the bed to play on their phones.

Chu Cheng called out, “Double queue, one win and then bed.”

Qin Shu drawled, “Weren’t you going to live a disciplined life?”

Chu Cheng stretched contentedly. “Screw discipline.”

When Xu Ning came back, Chu Cheng returned to normal: sleeping until naturally waking, ignoring study until the last possible second.

To help his wounds heal, Qin Shu wandered the dorm all day in loose Hawaiian shorts, staying inside whenever possible. Chu Cheng’s injury was lighter—by the next day, he was bouncing around, casually miming basketball moves in front of Qin Shu, making him laugh.

“If you’re bored, go out with someone,” Qin Shu said. “Have a nice meal, watch a movie, don’t worry about coming back at night.”

Chu Cheng said casually, “Go with who?”

At this point, he actually asked that? Qin Shu flopped on the bed in frustration, refusing to answer. “I don’t know.”

Chu Cheng frowned. “If you don’t know, why say anything?”

Qin Shu comforted himself: This is his real baby, the only one in the world. If he dies, their CP is doomed.

Lu Rulu, also unattached, came to visit 419. Seeing Qin Shu’s big floral shorts, he laughed: “Look at that outfit, like a flirtatious little widow.”

Qin Shu shot back: “Brother Lu, your mouth is really coated in honey.”

Standing outside, Xie Lianzhi said: “…Who are you calling a widow?”

Author’s note: Older guys are nice too, consider it, little love letter (dog head emoji).

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If I Can’t Get the Male Lead, I’ll Just Be a Salted Fish

If I Can’t Get the Male Lead, I’ll Just Be a Salted Fish

抢不到男主,我决定咸鱼
Score 8.6
Status: Ongoing Type: Author: Native Language: Chinese
<All the World Loves Me> is a popular danmei novel with a super popular bottom. But the author refuses to reveal who the official top is, leaving readers to place their own bets. As a loyal fan of the novel, Qin Shu had staked his entire heart and soul on one particular top. Every day he cheered like a die-hard sports fan, waving the flag for his precious boy’s victory. Then one day, Qin Shu woke up inside the novel—only to find he had become the worst possible “stock” in the stock market, a mere catalyst to boost other CPs’ feelings. To help his OTP come true as soon as possible, Qin Shu threw himself into playing his role perfectly, removing all obstacles for his chosen top, and guarding fiercely against the “super popular stock” Xie Lanzhi. Qin Shu: Anyone who tries to break up my ship will have soda cans without pull-tabs, and instant noodles without seasoning packets for the rest of their life! Xie Lanzhi: Little idiot. After tireless efforts, Qin Shu finally watched with a smile as his chosen top successfully won the beauty’s heart—mission accomplished. Other “stocks”: Qin Shu, don’t give up! As long as they aren’t married, we still have a chance! Qin Shu: I’m exhausted. I’ll just let them be happy. Farewell, brothers. (waves with tears) Other “stocks”: Why does it suddenly feel so boring? What’s with this hollow feeling? Qin Shu, come back and fight over him with us! Qin Shu: Being a salted-fish slacker is just too comfortable. His former “love rival” Xie Lanzhi finally lost patience, came to find the lounging Qin Shu, grabbed him up, and said: Want to lie around like a salted fish? Go do it in my bed. Reading Notes:
  1. In both the “main character” and “supporting character” lists, the bottom is listed first.

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