If I Can’t Get the Male Lead, I’ll Just Be a Salted Fish Chapter 35

Chu Cheng said he didn’t need thanks, but since this was the first time he’d ever given his roommate something, seeing Qin Shu stay silent for so long made him unhappy: “You really don’t have anything to say?”

Expressionless, Qin Shu picked up an oxygen canister. “Thanks.”

Chu Cheng was satisfied. “No big deal.”

“…Heh.” Honestly, the oxygen bottles weren’t completely useless—like right now, when his Baby was making him so angry he felt short of breath. And if one day the Cheng–Ning CP really became real, he might truly need oxygen to stay alive. A few bottles probably wouldn’t even be enough.

After comforting himself, Qin Shu stored the oxygen cans away. With a moved expression he said, “To show my gratitude, I’ll help you take care of Xu Ning’s dorm router problem.”

Chu Cheng asked curiously: “What do you plan to do?”

“I used to chase Xu Ning, so I bribed his roommate Jiang Wenyan.” Qin Shu waved his phone in front of him. “With just one WeChat message from me, their router will definitely break.”

Chu Cheng scorned: “D*mn, you’re despicable—make sure to give me Jiang Wenyan’s WeChat, thanks.”

“No problem.”

Qin Shu pulled them into a three-person chat. After explaining the situation and offering a fancy dinner as temptation, Jiang Wenyan lamented, ‘What did the poor router ever do to you?!’ but still accepted the mission, promising to “strike down the router” the next day.

The following day, the router died. Once Chu Cheng got Jiang Wenyan’s message, he immediately called Xu Ning.

“Xu Ning, I’ll come to your dorm this afternoon to play games.”

Xu Ning was puzzled. “Why come to my dorm to play games?”

Chu Cheng didn’t know how to answer. He glanced at Qin Shu beside him. Qin Shu mouthed: Because I like you.

Chu Cheng changed two words: “Because I want to.”

Qin Shu covered his face with his hand.

Xu Ning chuckled indulgently. “You can if you want, but right now our dorm has no internet. Or should we go somewhere else?”

“What? No internet?!” Chu Cheng’s acting was so awkward Qin Shu wanted to claw a whole Daxing Airport runway into the floor with his toes. “Could it be… the router?!”

“Maybe, I don’t really know,” Xu Ning said.

“Then aren’t you lucky to know me, a junior who studies computer science?”

Xu Ning played along, “Yeah, I feel really lucky.”

Qin Shu was deeply ashamed. For years, computer science predecessors had been fighting to eliminate the stereotype that “CS students just fix computers and connect the internet.” And here he and his Baby were dragging the field backward. Hopefully fellow CS students could forgive them this once.

Chu Cheng grinned. “Alright, enough hints, I’ll head over to your dorm right now and take a look.”

Xu Ning laughed. “Sure, I’ll be waiting.”

Hanging up, Chu Cheng changed into what he thought was a cool outfit and rushed to Xu Ning’s dorm.

At the dorm entrance, Xie Lanzhi felt a familiar figure flash past. He paused, turned: “Chu Cheng?”

If it were anyone else, Chu Cheng would’ve pretended not to hear. But Xie Lanzhi was the senior he admired. So he spun a full 180 degrees back and ran up. “Brother Lan!”

Xie Lanzhi asked: “Why so hurried?”

Grinning, Chu Cheng said, “Going to fix someone’s router.”

To be this happy about fixing a router… Xie Lanzhi understood. “For someone you like?”

Chu Cheng blushed but didn’t deny it. “Brother Lan, have you ever chased someone?”

That actually stumped Xie Lanzhi.

“Besides fixing routers, are there other ways to pursue someone?”

“So fixing routers counts as a way?”

“Of course,” Chu Cheng said as if it was obvious. “The internet says so.”

Xie Lanzhi was silent for a moment. “As long as you’re happy.”

Chu Cheng laughed. “Then I’m off!”

“Mm.” Watching Chu Cheng’s retreating back, Xie Lanzhi suddenly realized a problem: if Chu Cheng really succeeded in wooing his crush, then wouldn’t the little ‘player’ have to give up on him, this fish? He called out, “Wait.”

“Brother Lan?”

“Why not just buy him the latest router and give it to him—wouldn’t that be even better?”

Chu Cheng froze for a long while, then sighed: “So fragrant.”

Xie Lanzhi didn’t return to 418, but went straight to knock on the door of 419, where he saw the little player with a spoon still in his mouth.

“Bro?” Qin Shu pulled the spoon out of his mouth. “Something up?”

Xie Lanzhi was holding a paper bag. “I was at the supermarket and happened to see a snack you like.”

A snack he likes?

Qin Shu took the bag, lowered his head—and froze. D*mn, it was a huge bucket of Maltesers, bigger than his head!

Maltesers—little snacks with chocolate on the outside and malt paste on the inside. Whether biting into them or letting them melt in the mouth, the taste and texture were great. They even often cameoed in TV dramas as poison or antidote, so most people weren’t strangers to them.

As a sweet-tooth, Qin Shu would often pick up a couple of small bags while shopping, but he had never eaten such a massive bucket before. He felt like he could live off it for a month.

The hand holding the spoon trembled slightly.

“You didn’t mean… this kind of snack?”

“It’s this one, this one, exactly this one!” Qin Shu popped open the lid, impatiently stuffed one in his mouth, and the familiar sweetness spread across his tongue. “Ahhh, so sweet!” He grabbed another and held it up to Xie Lanzhi’s lips. “Bro, you try one too?”

Xie Lanzhi lowered his gaze at the chocolate in Qin Shu’s hand, seeming a little hesitant.

Thinking he was picky about hygiene, Qin Shu hurriedly said: “I just washed my hands.”

Xie Lanzhi lifted his eyes to him, then slightly bent his head and accepted the chocolate into his mouth.

“Good?” Qin Shu hoped that the snack he loved, Xie Lanzhi would like as well.

Biting through the chocolate shell and tasting a hint of sweetness, Xie Lanzhi said, “Mm.”

With Maltesers in his mouth, Qin Shu mumbled unclearly: “Really that slick?”

Xie Lanzhi raised his brows, thinking of something. “Indeed… slick.”

Qin Shu kept eating one after another, unable to stop. If Xie Lanzhi hadn’t been there, he’d have ditched his image entirely and gone at it with the spoon. Boys’ happiness really was this plain and simple—a casual snack bought by the school grass could keep him cheerful for a whole month.

Xie Lanzhi asked, “What were you eating just now?”

“Ah?” Qin Shu paused. “Oh, watermelon. You want some?” Since watermelon season was long past, he had bought a greenhouse seedless one. The price was painful, and he couldn’t finish a whole one alone, so he’d only bought half.

The moment the words left his mouth, he regretted it. The watermelon had already been dug to ruins with his spoon, leaving only the center piece untouched, since he always saved the best for last.

Letting Xie Lanzhi eat a mutilated watermelon? He might as well smash it on his own face.

Qin Shu silently prayed Xie Lanzhi would decline, but he didn’t even hesitate much before saying: “I’ll have some.”

Qin Shu’s smile froze—wait, their relationship was already at the stage of sharing a spoon to eat watermelon? Since when?!

Not hotpot, but watermelon with the same spoon! If he saw his baby and Ning Ning like this, the oxygen tanks in his drawer might finally come into use.

Xie Lanzhi walked over to the desk. “What do we eat it with?”

Qin Shu glanced at the spoon in his hand. “Uh, I only have this one. I’ll wash it!”

Xie Lanzhi chuckled. “Alright.”

Qin Shu handed him the clean spoon. “Bro, you eat the middle piece.”

Everyone knows—the center of the watermelon is the very essence of it.

“You’re not having it?” asked Xie Lanzhi.

“I already ate a lot,” Qin Shu shook the Malteser bucket. “And I’ve still got these.”

After two bites, Xie Lanzhi set the spoon aside. “I just ran into Chu Cheng downstairs. He said he was going to fix the router for someone he likes.”

“Yep, that was my idea! Genius, right?”

“Do you want the truth, or the lie?”

“Of course the—” Qin Shu’s words cut off, a phone call coming in—it was Jiang Wenyen.

He answered at once. “How’s it going?”

Jiang Wenyen sounded helpless: “Chu Cheng is dead serious, working meticulously on the router. When Xu Ning tried talking to him, he actually told Xu Ning to quiet down and not disturb him.”

Qin Shu: “……” He was tired of saying the word “idiot.”

Jiang Wenyen added: “No offense, but are all your engineering guys like this? Xu Ning even said he was going to shower, and Chu Cheng stayed glued to the router, completely unresponsive.”

Meeting Xie Lanzhi’s gaze, Qin Shu said woodenly: “No, it’s just him. You’re not in the dorm now?”

“No, I couldn’t stand it. Went out for air.”

Qin Shu thought a moment. “You said Xu Ning’s showering?”

At the mention of Xu Ning, Xie Lanzhi’s eyes narrowed.

“Yeah.”

“Alright, I’ll call Chu Cheng and knock some sense into him.”

Casually, Xie Lanzhi asked, “Who was that?”

“Jiang Wenyen.” The call connected; hearing his baby’s voice, Qin Shu said, “I’ll rant later—Chu Cheng!”

Chu Cheng seemed startled. “Why are you yelling at me!”

Qin Shu roared: “Do you still remember why you went to Xu Ning’s dorm?!”

Chu Cheng: “To fix the router.”

Qin Shu sounded like a parent about to have a heart attack over a child who couldn’t learn his homework. “Fix my *ss! You’re there to chase him! The router’s just an excuse! Wake the h*ll up!”

Chu Cheng: “D*mn, can you not scream? My ears are going deaf.”

Qin Shu was about to keep scolding, but then Xu Ning’s voice came faintly through the phone: “Who are you on the phone with?”

Chu Cheng: “An idiot.”

Qin Shu: “……” Could you maybe hang up before swearing?

Xu Ning: “Is it fixed?”

Chu Cheng: “Almost, almost! I found the problem—a wire inside is broken.”

Chu Cheng either forgot to hang up, or deliberately didn’t, and Qin Shu held his breath listening to him fumble with the router, unsure whether he should hang up.

A few minutes later, Chu Cheng shouted excitedly: “Fixed! D*mn, I’m exhausted.”

Xu Ning laughed: “So impressive.”

Chu Cheng: “I’ll test it now to see if it works.”

Xu Ning: “Take a break first. Do you like white peaches?”

Chu Cheng: “You bought peaches too? Well, I’ll have one then.”

Xu Ning: “I didn’t buy peaches, just white-peach flavored toothpaste.”

After this, an indescribable silence fell over the other end of the line.

Author’s note: Little love letter: Σ( ° △ °|||)︴ Is it what I think it is?