If I Can’t Get the Male Lead, I’ll Just Be a Salted Fish Chapter 42

Lu Rulu also thought his roommate was blind, but unlike Qin Shu’s fury, he felt that with Xie Lanzhi’s skills, getting the player to come ashore was a matter of minutes. “Honestly, only good-looking ones get called ‘green tea.’ If they’re ugly, that’s just the Hulk.”

“What, good looks mean you can do whatever you want?!”

Lu Rulu smiled. “Sorry, but good looks really do mean you can do whatever you want. These days, aren’t everyone’s values dictated by faces anyway?”

Qin Shu was speechless. “So after all that, you’re actually siding with the player? I’ve misjudged you, Lu Rulu! Give me back the chicken leg.”

“Don’t be hasty, Little Love-Letter.” Lu Rulu used his chopsticks to pin down Qin Shu’s. “I never said I wouldn’t help you.”

Qin Shu softened. “Brother Lu…”

“But last time I asked Brother Lan about the player, he told me to get lost.” Lu Rulu said humbly. “I’ll try my best, but I can’t promise anything.”

Qin Shu, understanding Lu Rulu’s standing in front of Xie Lanzhi, smiled. “It’s fine. Any clue is better than none. Thanks, Brother Lu. From now on I’ll give you chicken legs every day!”

Lu Rulu happily munched the leg. “For a boy, being this cute isn’t such a good thing, you know.”

“Cute isn’t enough.” Qin Shu said casually. “I have to become a mature guy who can cure his blindness!”

Lu Rulu’s chicken leg fell with a splat into the meal box. “Huh?”

For the sake of Qin Shu’s chicken legs, Lu Rulu racked his brains trying to pry words out of Xie Lanzhi. But Xie Lanzhi ignored him completely, so he was forced to take drastic measures.

In lab class, Xie Lanzhi finished his experiment first and was about to call the teacher over for inspection, when Lu Rulu suddenly planted himself in a horse stance to block his way. His thumb shot like lightning toward the power switch on Xie Lanzhi’s computer.

Xie Lanzhi looked at him with indifference. “Are you sick?”

“Answer my question, or else…” Lu Rulu waggled his brows, sending exaggerated hints.

Xie Lanzhi knew Lu Rulu was all bark and no bite. “Go on, press it.”

Lu Rulu: “???”

“Redoing it only takes ten minutes or so,” Xie Lanzhi said flatly. “But I can guarantee you—every single lab class after this, you’ll be the very last one to leave.”

Lu Rulu sheepishly pulled his hand back, forcing a smile: “I was just teasing you.”

The words “teasing” made Xie Lanzhi fall silent for two seconds. “Get lost.”

The hardline method declared a failure, Lu Rulu could only bide his time. When the lab ended, the two of them rode the elevator with a few other boys from their class. After three years together, everyone was familiar enough to talk without much filter.

“Hey, Brother Lan, why’d you show up at a sophomore class the other day?” one of the boys asked. “My girlfriend was dying of curiosity, said you must’ve gone there for your girlfriend.”

Xie Lanzhi just smiled lightly, unconcerned. “If you say so.”

The boys erupted.

“No way, sir, the campus heartthrob is already taken?!”

“Hahahaha, I knew it—guys like Brother Lan definitely go for younger girls.”

“So who is it? I don’t think there are any especially gorgeous girls in the sophomores of our college, right?”

“There are some. I know one—super classy, skin pale as snow…”

Xie Lanzhi didn’t respond further. Little player had just sent him a string of emoji packs: 【holding back tears】, 【can’t hold back at all】, 【not holding back anymore】, 【waaah】.

【Qin Shu: Bro, I’m about to run 1200 meters. I’ve already written my will. If I don’t survive this battle, you’ll inherit my four-piece bedsheet set, my Umaru body pillow, and my mint toothpaste.】

【Shuimenjian: Okay.】

【Qin Shu: …】

【Qin Shu: (heartless.jpg)】

Lu Rulu picked up on something. After they got out of the elevator, he asked: “So the player you like is a younger-year girl?”

Xie Lanzhi was in a good mood, and benevolently answered: “One year below us.”

Lu Rulu seized the chance to continue: “From our department?”

Xie Lanzhi gave a faint “Mm.” Then said, “Still a bit early for dinner. Want to swing by the sports field, see if there’s a game on?”

Lately it had been getting colder, and they hadn’t played ball in a long time. Lu Rulu didn’t think much of it. “Sure, let’s go.”

On the soccer field, while warming up, Qin Shu received Lu Rulu’s WeChat.

【Brother Lu: Now presenting ‘A Preliminary Investigative Report on the Mystery Identity of Xie Lanzhi’s player.’】

【Brother Lu: Clue #1: she’s a younger-year girl.】

【Brother Lu: Clue #2: she’s from the same department.】

Qin Shu narrowed his eyes, then walked toward the only two girls in their class—one a class beauty, the other a “runner-up beauty.”

The class beauty was helping the runner-up stretch. Seeing him come over, she asked: “What is it, class grass?”

Qin Shu smiled: “Wanted to ask you two something.”

“Go ahead.”

“In our college, are there any girls who are really good-looking, and also interesting in personality?”

The two exchanged a glance. “How good-looking are we talking?”

“Like… as good-looking among girls as Xie Lanzhi is among guys.”

The two answered in unison: “Then no.”

Qin Shu: “…”

“Times have changed,” said the runner-up while pressing her leg. “As long as a girl’s figure is decent, her features proper, and she puts on some makeup, anyone can be a beauty. But handsome guys? That’s in the genes. A male god on Senior Xie’s level? Ordinary mortals like us can’t compare. Let me put it this way—if he were willing to be my boyfriend, I’d even take care of his mistresses’ postpartum confinement!”

Qin Shu recoiled in horror: “You’re not serious, right?”

“Of course not,” the class beauty laughed. “She only says that. When it comes to picking boyfriends for real, if they don’t meet her standards, they don’t stand a chance.”

The runner-up winked at her. “Sisters know me best.”

By then, Chu Cheng, already warmed up, urged from the track: “We’re about to start running, are you ready?”

As the class sports committee member, he was in charge. Because of the 1200 meters, Qin Shu currently found him extremely displeasing. “Urging, urging, what can you do? The more you push me, the more stubborn my heart gets!”

Chu Cheng gloated: “Stubborn or not, you still have to run.”

Qin Shu flipped him the finger behind his back—Very good, you’ve just lost your inheritance.

Today the PE teacher was merciful, didn’t set a time requirement. Qin Shu, choosing a sustainable development route and conserving his strength, stayed at the very back of the boys, ahead of the girls. Chu Cheng, who’d started with him, was already a full lap ahead. When they crossed paths again, Chu Cheng unleashed his taunt skill: “Could you be any slower? I’d beat you even hopping on one foot.”

Qin Shu fumed: “Fine! You hop on one foot. If I’m still slower than you, I’ll livestream myself eating sh*t.”

Chu Cheng pretended not to hear. “You really do need to hurry. Otherwise, your score won’t pass the physical test.”

Qin Shu let out a low growl, then shifted stance: body leaning forward, both hands behind him, palms up—“Qin·Naruto·Shu, charge!”

Chu Cheng froze for a second, then copied his pose: “D*mn, you think you’re the only one who knows the ninja run?”

Qin Shu sped past the boys ahead. Chu Cheng followed close behind. The sight had the whole class laughing, some boys joining in with the same pose, while the two class beauties stood dumbfounded.

The class beauty was stunned. “What kind of idiots are the boys in our class aaaah!”

The runner-up shrugged, baffled. “Guess this is the kind of joy that only belongs to boys.”

Passing by, Lu Rulu failed to control his expression and burst out laughing, gums showing. “Holy cr*p this is hilarious—I’m joining too!”

Xie Lanzhi pressed a hand to his brow.

As Qin Shu was running, out of nowhere he heard Lu Rulu’s voice: “Hey there, little Love Letter.”

“!!!” Qin Shu almost face-planted. “Brother Lu?!”

“Man, I used to run like this all the time when I was in my chuunibyou phase. So nostalgic.”

“Wait… did Brother Lan come too?”

“Yeah, he’s standing right over there.”

Qin Shu looked toward the sidelines, and sure enough, he saw Xie Lanzhi, with his pair of long legs, watching him. His face flushed red instantly, and he hurried to resume a normal running posture—no, no, no! The cringe chuunibyou idiot just now was not him!

Lu Rulu shouted unhappily: “Hey Little Love Letter, why are you breaking the formation!”

The boys were having fun running, but then they got caught red-handed by the PE teacher who had just come back from the bathroom. The teacher decided to let them “enjoy themselves” a bit longer: the originally planned 1200 meters turned into 2000, while the girls were dismissed on the spot.

The boys wailed in misery, complaints everywhere, and Qin Shu nearly fainted. Seeing things going south, Lu Rulu tried to slip away, only to be caught again by the teacher. He explained he wasn’t even in this class, but the teacher refused to believe it (Qin Shu strongly suspected it was on purpose), and forced him to finish the remaining laps before letting him go.

After 2000 meters, Qin Shu was nothing but a wasted book. He couldn’t care about the dirt, just lay down on the grass, staring at the blue sky, contemplating his reason for living.

Lu Rulu was exhausted too, supporting himself on his knees and panting: “What the h*ll did I do to deserve this.”

Qin Shu muttered: “If I really committed a crime, I hope the law will punish me, not make me run 2000 meters…”

Chu Cheng was still full of energy, stretching, and said with disdain: “You guys are way too weak!”

Xie Lanzhi came over carrying four bottles of sports drink. Lu Rulu and Chu Cheng each grabbed one and finished it in a gulp, while Qin Shu, having suffered “internal injuries,” didn’t even have the strength to speak: “Bro… I… I think I’m done for, I’m going to die…”

Chu Cheng cursed and laughed: “You d*mn drama queen.”

Xie Lanzhi sat down beside Qin Shu, lowering his head to look at him. “Before you die, drink something.”

“No strength…”

Xie Lanzhi said: “Want me to feed you?”

“How would you feed me?”

As soon as Qin Shu said it, both of them froze.

Xie Lanzhi reacted first, his voice low: “How do you want me to feed you.”

“I didn’t mean—” Qin Shu struggled to sit up, took the drink from his hand, not daring to meet his eyes. “Thanks.”

The bottle cap design was a bit odd. As a homebody, Qin Shu rarely drank this type of sports drink, and for a while he actually didn’t know how to open it. He struggled for a long time, but the cap didn’t budge. Xie Lanzhi just stood there watching without offering help, so Qin Shu finally asked for it: “Bro, I can’t open it, help me?”

Xie Lanzhi was satisfied, took the bottle, opened it in a second, and handed it back. “Dummy.”

Qin Shu gulped down the “supply pack,” and felt his HP bar recover a little.

Xie Lanzhi asked: “Feeling better?”

Qin Shu nodded. “Just now it was sliver HP, now it’s low HP.”

“Sliver HP after 2000 meters,” Xie Lanzhi said. “Your stamina really is bad.”

Qin Shu argued: “It’s not that my stamina’s bad, I just hate running. If you let me do something else, I definitely wouldn’t be so trash.”

“You still need to exercise more, otherwise what will you do later.”

“Later? What later?” Qin Shu said indignantly. “After I graduate, who the h*ll is going to do intense sports!”

Xie Lanzhi smiled. “I see.”

Chu Cheng checked the time, class was already over, and called everyone to eat. Qin Shu waved his hand, “Let me rest a bit longer.”

“Look at you, so useless. If we’re late the cafeteria won’t have any good dishes left.”

Xie Lanzhi: “I’ll treat you guys outside.”

Chu Cheng instantly changed his tune: “Then it’s fine, take as long as you want.”

Qin Shu sneered: “Thanks so much.”

Xie Lanzhi looked at him.

After that exercise, the junior’s pale face still had a thin layer of sweat, his hair damp at the forehead, his red lips slightly parted, as if waiting for him to do something. Sensing his gaze, the junior looked back, eyes carrying a smile. “What is it?”

Xie Lanzhi’s throat tightened. He slightly regretted not buying himself an iced drink.

“By the way, bro, my stamina really isn’t bad,” Qin Shu said. “Let’s play ping pong this weekend, I’ll show you.”

“Mm.”

Author’s note:
Senior: Didn’t you say you had great stamina? Come show me your stamina.
Love Letter: QAQ