If I Can’t Get the Male Lead, I’ll Just Be a Salted Fish Chapter 45

Xu Ning’s birthday was in December. There wasn’t much time left for Chu Cheng.

After waking from his nap, Qin Shu saw Chu Cheng lying on the bed across from him, scrolling on his phone. His expressions kept shifting unpredictably—each frame could be turned directly into a meme. So far, Qin Shu had already seen [shocked], [how is this even possible], [unbelievable], [brilliant].

“What are you looking at?”

Chu Cheng jumped in surprise, looking exactly like an elementary school kid caught watching something inappropriate by their parents. “I… I’m studying.”

Qin Shu lay on his side, hugging a pillow with one arm and rubbing his eyes with the other. “Studying what? I want to study too.”

Chu Cheng mumbled vaguely, “You don’t need to.”

“Why?”

“Because you’re a single dog.”

What is there that a single dog doesn’t need to learn? Qin Shu spotted the key point and smiled. “No need to explain. I get it.”

Chu Cheng’s temples throbbed. “You get it my *ss! I’m picking out Xu Ning’s birthday gift.”

“Oh!” Qin Shu sounded slightly disappointed. “What are you planning to give him?”

“I carefully picked a few gifts, but haven’t decided exactly which one to give.”

“Why even think about it? Who ever complains about too many gifts? Of course,” Qin Shu raised his hand and slowly made a fist, “all of them!”

Chu Cheng thought it over. “You’re right.”

Qin Shu went on confidently, “You can buy a nice big box, put all the presents in it, and let Ning Ning pick them out himself.”

“Pick them out? Like hotpot at Haidilao? Speaking of which, we haven’t had hotpot in ages.”

Qin Shu was successfully led astray, completely forgetting about Xu Ning’s gifts. “Now that you mention it, true. Let’s go this weekend, my treat.”

“Sure, invite Brother Lan and the others too.”

As the saying goes, if you ditch others, others will ditch you. Chu Cheng and Lu Rulu once ditched Qin Shu’s ping-pong game, and now Qin Shu ditched their hotpot plan. Even though it wasn’t intentional, he still suffered their cold glares.

Lu Rulu: “What’s the most important rule when you’re out mixing with people? Answer me, answer me now!”

Qin Shu looked embarrassed. “Things just ended up like this, it’s not like I wanted it. But that was my real brother—the kind that gives me pocket money. How could I say no to him?”

Yesterday, Qin Shu got a call from Qin Hua, who said a college classmate was getting married over the weekend. He had planned to fly in for the wedding, but a big project at work went south, and he had to go overseas to handle it. He couldn’t make it to the wedding, but he still sent a cash gift—699,999. Since he couldn’t let that much money go to waste, Qin Shu was tasked with going to the banquet and “eating it back.”

【Uncle Qin: Do you really think I can eat 699,999 worth of food by myself? (cry-laugh)】

【Big Bro: The most expensive thing at a wedding banquet is usually the alcohol. Drink more.】

【Uncle Qin: Bro, are we really that rich? (suspicious)】

【Big Bro: What do you mean by that.】

【Uncle Qin: It’s just seventy grand, no need to be so stingy.】

After sending that, Qin Shu was stunned. God—“just seventy grand”? Did those words really come out of his fingers?! He’s changed. He reeks of money now—buying figurines like they’re cabbage, buying game skins like they’re freebies, buying LV like they’re trash bags.

No way, how could he think like this?! That’s seventy grand! Maybe it’s nothing to rich people, but to him—it’s months of pocket money!

【Big Bro: You don’t know sh*t. Money is money, no matter how much. If it’s money, it can’t be wasted.】

【Uncle Qin: (kneeling-to-boss.jpg)】

【Uncle Qin: As you command.】

【Big Bro: I’ll send you the invitation and address later. Remember to wear formal clothes.】

Qin Shu dug out a classic black suit from the back of his closet, paired with a white shirt. Simple, no frills.

When Chu Cheng and Lu Rulu came back from playing ball, they saw Qin Shu already dressed up and froze on the spot.

There was no full-length mirror in the dorm, so Qin Shu couldn’t see himself. Lacking confidence, he asked, “Does it look weird?”

Chu Cheng: “…”

Lu Rulu: “…”

Qin Shu cringed. “It really looks that weird?”

“No, no,” Lu Rulu quickly said. “Holy cr*p, Little Love Letter, your waist is that thin? And your legs so straight? How did I never notice before?”

Qin Shu usually wore casual, comfy clothes that hid his figure. But the tailored suit outlined his waist and long legs perfectly—like they could fit into someone’s hands.

Lu Rulu praised generously, “That suit must’ve been expensive. The quality looks great. You look seriously handsome.”

Chu Cheng added, “Yeah… not bad.”

“For real?” Qin Shu was flattered. Everyone knew it was harder than advanced calculus to get a compliment from Mr. Tsundere. He felt awkward all over. “But I don’t feel anything like a CEO at all.”

Chu Cheng sneered, “That’s because you don’t have the aura.”

“Little Love Letter’s still too green,” Lu Rulu teased. “The suit can’t cover up that boyish vibe. Forget about CEO—you could maybe pull off the CEO’s spoiled little wife.”

“I’ll think about it. Oh—” Qin Shu pulled out a solid black tie. “Do either of you know how to tie a tie?”

Chu Cheng: “How the h*ll would I? My dad tied mine for high school graduation.”

Lu Rulu: “Count me out too. Just look it up online, there’s gotta be tutorials.”

Qin Shu did. He found tons of videos: “Learn to Tie a Tie in One Minute,” “Even the Clumsiest Can Master a Tie,” “Ten Tie Knots Every Successful Man Should Know.” The three of them fiddled with it, then gave up.

“What kind of cr*p is this,” Lu Rulu grumbled, making the face of a subway grandpa staring at a smartphone. “Watching: I got it. Doing it: Nope, you don’t.”

“This is f*cking impossible,” Chu Cheng said. “If only Brother Lan were here—he’d definitely know.”

Qin Shu’s heart stirred. “Do you guys really think I look good in a suit?”

“Of course,” Lu Rulu grinned. “If I weren’t into girls, I’d already be standing at attention in salute.”

Chu Cheng begrudgingly admitted, “Well, it’s easier on the eyes than your usual look. Pretty striking.”

Qin Shu blushed softly. “Mm.”

If… if he really looked that good, then he wanted Xie Lanzhi to see it.

He thought for a bit, tucked the tie into his pocket, and sent Xie Lanzhi a WeChat.

【Uncle Qin: Big bro!】

Xie Lanzhi replied after a while: 【Here.】

【Uncle Qin: Where are you now?】

【Onii-chan: At home.】

【Onii-chan: Why?】

【Uncle Qin: I need to go out for a bit, I’m taking your car.】

Qin Shu’s sports car had been in the shop for almost three months—paint, imported parts, endless paperwork. Luckily he rarely drove, and whenever he needed a ride, it was usually with Xie Lanzhi. He still had Lanzhi’s car key. That car, plus this suit, was perfect for attending a wedding.

【Onii-chan: Going alone, you’ll be fine?】

【Uncle Qin: I think I can do it!】

【Onii-chan: Mm, be careful on the road.】

Qin Shu deliberately set out a little early. Driving Xie Lanzhi’s car out of the campus, he stopped by a milk tea shop on the way and bought two cups before arriving at the entrance of Xie Lanzhi’s neighborhood.

【Uncle Qin: (photo)】

【Uncle Qin: Bro, flaked on hotpot but still brought milk tea!】

【Uncle Qin: Your milk tea has arrived, please come downstairs to pick it up.】

【Uncle Qin: Or should I bring it up to you?】

Xie Lanzhi called him directly. “Where are you?”

Qin Shu: “Right downstairs at your place.”

Xie Lanzhi’s tone was helpless. “Tell me in advance, dummy.”

“Huh? Didn’t you say you were at home?”

“I went home,” Xie Lanzhi said. “I’m with my mom.”

Qin Shu froze. “Oh…” So Xie Lanzhi wouldn’t see him in a suit after all.

“Qin Shu?”

“Here, bro.” Qin Shu quickly pulled himself together and laughed. “Then I’ll just drink both cups of milk tea myself, I’ll treat you next time.”

Xie Lanzhi chuckled. “Didn’t you say you were going out for something? Why suddenly come find me?”

Qin Shu stared at the hand he had resting on the steering wheel. “On—on the way.”

“Just on the way?”

Xie Lanzhi’s voice was low and soft, like it brushed right against his ear.

Qin Shu felt the temperature in the car rise. “And… also wanted to see you.”

On the other end, Xie Lanzhi fell quiet.

Realizing how that sounded, Qin Shu hurried to add: “Because I wanted to ask you for help with something.”

“What thing?”

Qin Shu pulled the tie out of his pocket. “Never mind, nothing now. Bro, I’m hanging up.”

“…Alright.”

Xie Lanzhi hung up, set the phone aside, and fastened cufflinks on the sleeves of his white shirt. Xie’s mother, dressed in an evening gown with her long hair down, knocked on the door. “Lanzhi, time to go.”

Xie Lanzhi picked up his suit jacket and put it on, giving her a glance. “You’re wearing so little—aren’t you cold?”

“I’ll have a coat later.” She looked at her handsome, elegant son and sighed with the same pride she’d felt for twenty years: such a good-looking son, only she could have given birth to him.

Mother and son left the villa; the driver already had the car waiting. Xie Lanzhi opened the door for her first. Mother Xie was in high spirits—at first, when she asked him to accompany her to the wedding, he said he couldn’t come because of school. Then he suddenly said plans were canceled, and she finally got to “show off her son” in front of her circle of friends.

“Lanzhi, do you remember Little Auntie Zhang?”

“No.”

“You do! Little Zhang Auntie from high school, same class as Mom. She had a crush on a boy who liked me instead, so she’s held a grudge for twenty years and always picks at me. Last time at afternoon tea, her husband and son came to fetch her, you should’ve seen how smug she was—she was practically floating! Honestly, what’s there to brag about, when your husband looks just like Xie Guangkun?” After venting, she gazed brightly at her son. “But, Mom also really wants to be picked up by a handsome son.”

Before marriage, she was spoiled by her parents; after marriage, spoiled by her husband. Even in her forties, she was like a girl in her twenties. Xie Lanzhi was long used to it. “You can ask Dad to pick you up.”

She said seriously, “But your dad’s old now, not as easy on the eyes as you.”

Xie Lanzhi: “…”

With high spirits she declared: “At this wedding, all my girlfriends will be there. I’ll let them see whose son is the most handsome!”

Xie Lanzhi raised a doubt. “Are you sure you’re actually ‘girlfriends’?”

“Friendship between women—you wouldn’t understand.”

That day, one of her circle was marrying off a daughter, with the banquet at a famous five-star hotel in the city. Father Xie couldn’t get away from work, but Mama didn’t mind—having her son with her was even better.

When the driver parked, Xie Lanzhi said “Thanks for your trouble” and got out with her. The weather was perfect—blue skies, white clouds—just right for an outdoor wedding.

Arm in arm, she walked gracefully with him toward the entrance. She spotted a familiar Audi. At first she didn’t pay attention, but when she saw the license plate, she couldn’t ignore it.

“Eh? Lanzhi, isn’t that the runabout car I bought for you?” she exclaimed. “Why is it here?”

Xie Lanzhi froze, then slowly smiled. “So he’s here too.”

“‘He’?” She blinked. “You lent your car to someone?”

“Mm.”

“Who? A boy or a girl?”

“A junior,” Xie Lanzhi said. “Mom, you go in first, I’ll make a call.”

“Aww, don’t! I also want to meet Lanzhi’s junior.”

“…Not happening.”

“???”

Qin Shu had arrived very early. Not knowing anyone at the wedding banquet, he simply went to the hotel café, ordered a coffee, and started playing Honor of Kings. He’d always had an unrealistic dream of being a “wild king,” and practiced occasionally. By now, he was decent—about half his matches ended without teammates flaming him.

This round was going a bit badly; the enemy mage was fed. He tried flanking but got instantly killed, leaving him sulky—when suddenly a shadow loomed from behind, and a pair of hands lightly covered his, still resting at either end of the phone screen.

“I’ll help you out, junior.”