If I Can’t Get the Male Lead, I’ll Just Be a Salted Fish Chapter 49

Xie Lanzhi called him “Ocean King”?

Xie Lanzhi liked Ocean King.

Xie Lanzhi liked… him?

Qin Shu slowly, slowly lowered his hand, the phone screen dimming. He stood on the balcony for a while in the cold wind, but even December’s chill couldn’t save him.

Back in the dorm, Lu Rulu had already left, and Chu Cheng was tearing open packages one by one. He’d taken Qin Shu’s advice and bought every gift he wanted to give Xu Ning.

If Qin Shu were his usual self, he would have gone over to watch with great interest. But now his eyes couldn’t see “baby” at all.

What? You say the son is preparing birthday gifts for the daughter-in-law? Fine, fine, I got it.

After fussing with the packages, Chu Cheng asked: “How do you think the gifts I picked are?”

Qin Shu nodded mechanically. “Good—how do I look right now?”

Chu Cheng glanced at him. “Utterly ordinary.”

Qin Shu looked down at his chest. “But right here—it’s about to explode.”

Chu Cheng: “Tragic—so what color gift box do you think I should choose?”

“I don’t know. But tell me, do you think there really are things this wonderful in the world? The person you like just happens to like you back?”

“Hard to say. There’s a lot of stuff, how should I even give it to him? Should I just haul it all over and show off my biceps while I’m at it?”

“Sure. The wind was so strong tonight, maybe I misheard everything.”

“Very possible…”

The two of them talked at cross purposes, but the conversation flowed just fine.

After showering, Qin Shu lay in bed, still feeling everything was unreal.

He flipped through the photos of Xie Lanzhi he had saved on his phone one by one, still puzzled: How did he end up being “player”? Day after day, aside from class, eating, sleeping, and shipping CPs, he spent all his time… thinking about Xie Lanzhi.

He really didn’t feel like he was a player. But if Xie Lanzhi liked player, then he’d be the one and only player in the world!

Qin Shu stayed in worm-form until the middle of the night, tossing and turning noisily. Across from him, Chu Cheng had no reaction at all—normally by now his pillow would’ve been hurled at him. Looks like tonight was a cultivation night for the entire 419 dorm.

When he finally fell asleep, Qin Shu had a strange dream. He dreamed he really was the ocean king, but his ocean was completely empty, not a single fish. Then one day, the most beautiful mermaid in the world swam into his sea. Just as he was about to be happy, baby came charging in, thrilled to say he wanted to give the mermaid to Ning Ning as a birthday present. Qin Shu refused no matter what. They fought, and in the end he managed to smack the baby dead on the beach, carry the mermaid back to his palace in the deep sea, and even erected a tombstone for baby.

The next day Qin Shu was still dazed until the counselor posted the final exam schedule in the class group.

This year Spring Festival was earlier—New Year’s Eve was in late January. Qin Shu had more than a dozen required and elective courses. Starting next week, exams would stretch out for three weeks, one after another, no chance to just die quickly.

Qin Shu and Chu Cheng were loudly complaining on their way to class, when halfway there Chu Cheng stopped. “Did we lock the dorm just now?”

Qin Shu thought for a moment. “I don’t remember. Weren’t you the one who came out last?”

The more Chu Cheng thought about it, the less assured he felt. “I’d better go back and check.”

Qin Shu couldn’t help laughing. “We don’t exactly have a history of forgetting to lock up.”

Chu Cheng waved a hand and started back. “But there are valuables in the dorm right now, I can’t take the risk.”

Qin Shu called after his back: “What valuables?”

Chu Cheng didn’t look back. “The gifts for Xu Ning!”

Ah—another piece of Chu-Ning brand candy, sweet and silly.

Qin Shu’s phone buzzed. He looked down.

【Onii-chan: Dinner together tonight?】

【Uncle Qin: Sure.】

【Onii-chan: I’ll wait for you at the C area gate after class.】

【Uncle Qin: Okay, Brother, I’ll hurry over as fast as I can.】

Sorry, but “Lan-Shu” is sweeter—no objections allowed.

Qin Shu went ahead to the classroom to save two seats. When the bell rang, Chu Cheng rushed in out of breath. “F*ck, the door was locked just fine—had me running back for nothing.”

Qin Shu said: “I saw an online method for dealing with this kind of problem—it’s called the deepened memory method. Basically, every time after you lock the door, you do some unusual action. Later, when you recall the scene, if you remember yourself doing that action, it proves you closed the door.”

Chu Cheng was doubtful: “Does that even work?”

Qin Shu shrugged. “Never tried it. You could give it a shot.”

In their major class, everyone was desperately hinting for the teacher to mark key points. The teacher just smiled and said: “The whole book is key points.”

Students: dead.

As lunchtime approached, Qin Shu grew more and more restless. He was going to have lunch with Xie Lanzhi. But what should he even talk about while eating? Should he bring up the “player” thing and clear it up, or should he just pretend nothing happened?

He had serious doubts about whether he could even be alone with Xie Lanzhi right now. Otherwise, he’d definitely act like an idiot, face stiff as stone, completely failing to be funny or cute.

When the bell rang, Chu Cheng urged, “Let’s go, I’m starving.”

Qin Shu stammered, “Uh, I… I’ve got plans tonight.”

“Even if you’ve got plans, you still need to eat.”

Qin Shu forced himself: “I already made plans with someone.”

“Who?”

After some hesitation, Qin Shu decided to tell the truth: “Xie Lanzhi.”

Chu Cheng snorted: “It’s Brother Lan, then what’s there to hesitate about? I’ll come too. Would Brother Lan not welcome me?”

Qin Shu’s mouth twitched. “Where exactly do you get that confidence from?”

Unable to find any reason to refuse his “son,” Qin Shu ended up bringing him along anyway. This was the adult world: even wanting to ditch your kid and have a little two-person world was this hard.

At the entrance to Teaching Building C, Qin Shu immediately spotted Xie Lanzhi. He was wearing a short black collared jacket, his legs impossibly long, standing head and shoulders above most of the guys in the crowd.

Chu Cheng muttered, “How the h*ll did Brother Lan grow like this? Coach, I wanna learn too.”

The deer in Qin Shu’s heart instantly started running. “Just look at photos of his parents and you’ll know how. That’s not something just anyone can learn.”

“You’ve seen his parents?”

“Yeah. Their whole family of three is like a real-life CEO, delicate little wife, and genius kid combo.”

Xie Lanzhi caught their gaze, and when he noticed Chu Cheng, his brows lifted slightly.

Chu Cheng, completely oblivious, grinned and called out: “Brother Lan!”

Qin Shu, behind him, spread his hands helplessly, as if to say: don’t blame me.

Xie Lanzhi smiled faintly and asked, “What do you want to eat?”

Chu Cheng suggested, “How about Northeast food? Big portions, filling, and delicious.”

Xie Lanzhi glanced at Qin Shu, as if seeking his opinion.

But Qin Shu had no opinion. Was this even eating? Sitting across from Xie Lanzhi was eating candy, not food!

Chu Cheng asked, “Where’s Brother Lu?”

Xie Lanzhi replied, “He said he wanted the cafeteria.”

Qin Shu: “…”

Chu Cheng was stunned. “That’s… really out of character.”

The three went to a nearby Northeastern restaurant. Nothing fancy, just an ordinary little place where you could fill up for under fifty yuan a head. They ordered pork stewed with vermicelli, Di San Xian, braised pork bones, and three plates of dumplings—each plate bigger than Qin Shu’s face.

Chu Cheng had zero resistance to the braised pork bones, grabbing them with his hands. From his expression, they had to be delicious. Qin Shu was dying to eat too, but with Xie Lanzhi sitting across from him, he had to maintain his image and couldn’t eat too wildly.

He decided to start with dumplings. Fresh from the pot, steaming hot, slippery and tricky to hold. After several failed attempts, Qin Shu had dumplings sliding right back off his chopsticks, one even falling to the floor.

Xie Lanzhi noticed. “Want me to help?”

Qin Shu’s face flamed. He glanced at his “son,” happily gnawing a bone, and then nodded.

“What filling?”

“Corn and pork.”

Xie Lanzhi picked up a corn-and-pork dumpling. Qin Shu sat nervously, waiting to be fed.

Xie Lanzhi’s chopsticks reached his bowl. After a glance at him, he set the dumpling inside.

Qin Shu felt both relieved and a little disappointed. So Xie Lanzhi hadn’t meant to feed him after all.

Chu Cheng wanted dumplings too, but he couldn’t be bothered to take off his gloves. So he said to Xie Lanzhi: “Brother Lan, feed me one too.”

Xie Lanzhi picked up a dumpling, ready to drop it in Chu Cheng’s bowl—

But then Chu Cheng added: “I’ve got no hands right now, just put it straight in my mouth. Ah—”

Qin Shu: #@!#%… I f** your grandpa!*

Xie Lanzhi’s hand paused, then calmly set the dumpling in Chu Cheng’s bowl. “Finish gnawing the bone before you eat.”

Qin Shu felt much better.

After the meal, the friendly owner brought over a plate of fruit. Winter was the season for sugar tangerines—small, juicy, sweet. Chu Cheng popped them one after another and said while chewing: “I’ve pretty much got a plan for Xu Ning’s birthday. His birthday’s close to Christmas, so the photography club is organizing a birthday party for him, and at the same time celebrating Christmas early. Brother Lan, you know about it, right? They mentioned it in the club group.”

Xie Lanzhi: “Didn’t know. I hardly check the group.”

“There’ll probably be a lot of people,” Qin Shu said. “Do you think you’ll get a chance to confess? Or are you planning to confess in front of everyone?”

Chu Cheng hesitated. “I haven’t decided yet. I asked on Bi Hu [Zhihu parody], and everyone said private confessions are better. Making a huge show of it is just forcing someone onto the stage. What do you guys think?”

Qin Shu said: “Of course I’d love to witness the moment you two get together. But leaving a memory that’s only yours is nice too.”

Chu Cheng grew uneasy. “But will we really get together? What if he rejects me?”

Qin Shu was speechless. Xu Ning had thrown straight balls at him multiple times already, and this dumb kid still didn’t get it.

To give his “son” the courage to confess, Qin Shu went for the kill: “Relax. If Ning Ning rejects you, Lu Rulu will forever be Lu Jingyun.”

“Qin Shu.”

Qin Shu turned his head, his lips nearly brushing against an orange slice that had already been peeled.

Xie Lianzhi said: “Open your mouth.”

The “Cheng-Ning” playing in Qin Shu’s mind was instantly wiped away by Xie Lianzhi’s voice. In a daze, he parted his lips and, following Xie Lianzhi’s hand, ate that slice of orange.

After finishing off the little tangerines, the three of them headed back to campus. Qin Shu remembered Xie Lianzhi had an elective class that evening and asked: “Brother, you’re not skipping class today?”

Xie Lianzhi curved his lips: “Want me to skip?”

Qin Shu quickly shook his head. “No, I didn’t mean—”

Xie Lianzhi acted as though he hadn’t heard: “Tell me what it is you want to do. If it’s worth it, maybe I’ll skip.”

“I really don’t want you to skip,” Qin Shu muttered, “I’ll go with you to class.”

The smile in Xie Lianzhi’s eyes faded a little, and his gaze darkened. “What are you trying to do with me, junior?”

“You’ve accompanied me to class before too.”

“That’s not what I meant.” Xie Lianzhi said slowly, “It’s cold. No need to sit through class with me—just walk me there.”

Any extra moment with Xie Lianzhi was precious. Qin Shu made up an excuse about borrowing books from the library and sent Chu Cheng off, leaving just the two of them.

As it turned out, he was completely right: alone with Xie Lianzhi, he really was an idiot—so flustered he couldn’t even talk properly. Strictly speaking, they weren’t even alone: there were still a few students scattered along the road. The two of them walking side by side looked no different from any other pair of male classmates.

But as they neared the teaching building and he still hadn’t said a single proper sentence, Qin Shu was so frustrated he wanted to curl up on the spot. If he’d known, he would have memorized a few lame jokes beforehand—at least then he could maintain the persona of being interesting.

When they arrived at the base of the teaching building, Xie Lianzhi said: “Go on back.”

Qin Shu was unwilling: “I’ll take you to your classroom.”

Xie Lianzhi smiled lightly. “Alright.”

Qin Shu followed him to a classroom on the third floor—only to find it completely empty. “Brother, did you go to the wrong classroom?”

“No.” Xie Lianzhi leaned casually against a desk and looked at him. “Didn’t you have something you wanted to say? Go ahead.”

Qin Shu opened his mouth. “Brother….”

“If you don’t say it now, I’ll be late.”

Qin Shu steadied himself, eyes fixed on the floor. “Today you only fed me oranges.”

Xie Lianzhi looked a little surprised. “Mm.”

“And before, you only brought me breakfast—you didn’t bring any for Baby.”

“Mm.”

“You also played ping pong with me, let me drink the milk foam off your milk tea, skipped class to study with me, gave me your jacket to hold while you played basketball…” The more Qin Shu spoke, the more unreal it felt. Xie Lianzhi had done so many unusual things before, and yet he had never noticed anything wrong.

“Maybe I’m overthinking it,” Qin Shu’s voice trembled. “But I feel like… I mean, I feel like… I don’t know if it was just the wind and I misheard, but you… are you…”

He stammered incoherently, not even as clear as a three-year-old. He couldn’t go on. He felt utterly pathetic.

Qin Shu raised his hand to cover his face. “Ahhh just forget I said anything!”

Xie Lianzhi chuckled softly, pulled Qin Shu’s hand down, and looked into his eyes. “You didn’t mishear, and you’re not overthinking. I like the player—because you’re the player. I like you.”

Author’s note: (Acknowledgements of readers’ gifts and support.)

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