If I Can’t Get the Male Lead, I’ll Just Be a Salted Fish Chapter 55

Although Qin Shu had never been in a relationship, he had watched plenty of two-dimensional characters fall in love. He wasn’t partial to the “top” or the “bottom,” what he liked best was the “mutual pampering” dynamic, and that had to some extent influenced his views on love.

He didn’t know about heterosexual couples, but for a same-sex couple, two boys—there was no reason only one should always coax the other. He was Xie Lanzhi’s boyfriend, and Xie Lanzhi was also his boyfriend. They were equals. When he got upset, Xie Lanzhi would definitely coax him; so when Xie Lanzhi got upset, of course he had to coax him too.

Xie Lanzhi’s lips curved upward, and this time his smile seemed a bit more genuine. “And how are you going to coax me?”

Qin Shu thought about it, then said earnestly: “Brother, you… you’re my first love.”

Xie Lanzhi was slightly startled.

The restroom was only a few steps ahead of them. A bald uncle just came out, letting out a loud burp as he passed by—clearly not a place for heartfelt words, but Qin Shu didn’t care about that anymore. He didn’t want Xie Lanzhi to be unhappy, especially not because of him.

“That day at your house, in front of the refrigerator…” Qin Shu said, and as he spoke, a flush crept up his cheeks and the tips of his ears. “That was my first kiss.”

Xie Lanzhi: “…”

Qin Shu didn’t dare look straight at him anymore. He lowered his head, nervously waiting for Xie Lanzhi’s response.

Xie Lanzhi chuckled lightly. “So that was your first kiss.”

Qin Shu, bearing the shame, said: “Y-yes.”

Xie Lanzhi stepped closer, set a hand on his shoulder, leaned down to whisper by his ear: “Mine too.”

Qin Shu: “…” Once again, his boyfriend had fried his brain into a complete crash, leaving him speechless. When would they finally enter the old-married-couple mode? He really couldn’t stand how ridiculous he himself was right now!

“You don’t actually need to tell me all this,” Xie Lanzhi’s voice was low and deep. “I shouldn’t have minded that you once liked someone else. That was my fault, I lost my composure. I’m sorry, Junior, it won’t happen again.”

Qin Shu was dumbfounded. Wasn’t he supposed to be the one coaxing Xie Lanzhi? How did it turn into Xie Lanzhi coaxing him instead? He grabbed Xie Lanzhi’s hand. “I never really liked anyone else. You’re the first person I like, and the only one.”

Xie Lanzhi nodded. “I know. Before, you just liked Xu Ning’s face, that doesn’t count as truly liking him.”

Qin Shu flushed red and protested: “No, no I didn’t!”

Xie Lanzhi asked: “So you think he isn’t good-looking?”

“How could that be!” Qin Shu stumbled over his words. “Ningning is indeed very pretty, but that’s not why I liked him… no, no, I didn’t like him at all! Or rather, my so-called ‘liking’ for him wasn’t the kind of liking I always shouted about, and it definitely wasn’t the same as my liking for you, Brother.”

Seeing how worked up Qin Shu was, the trace of jealousy in Xie Lanzhi’s heart had long since disappeared. Suppressing a laugh, he asked: “Then what kind of liking was it?”

Qin Shu thought about it. “Probably the same kind of liking I have for Chu Cheng.”

Xie Lanzhi raised an eyebrow. “Which is just liking someone’s face, isn’t it?”

“No! It’s that kind of—you know, right?” Qin Shu was too agitated to find the right words to describe his feelings toward Chu Cheng and Xu Ning. At his wit’s end, he blurted: “If I said I think of them as my son and daughter-in-law, would you believe me, Brother?”

Xie Lanzhi fell silent for three seconds. “So you were chasing after your daughter-in-law before?”

“…Just kill me already.”

Looking at Qin Shu’s suffocated expression, Xie Lanzhi finally said: “I believe you.”

Qin Shu exhaled with difficulty, half crying half laughing. “Brother, you’re just brushing me off, aren’t you?”

Xie Lanzhi cut the topic short. “Finish washing your hands and let’s go back. They’re waiting.”

Qin Shu muttered reluctantly: “Fine.” He felt it was necessary to clear up the rumors about him being a playboy, but right now wasn’t the time. Once he gathered his words, he would find a chance tonight to explain properly to Xie Lanzhi.

Back at the grilled fish place, the two fish were already served. As Lu Rulu ate, he winked at Qin Shu. “See anything?”

Qin Shu poured sour plum juice for himself and Xie Lanzhi. “See what?”

Xie Lanzhi lifted his eyelids and gave Lu Rulu a cold glance. “Are you sick?”

Ignoring him, Lu Rulu said slyly: “Didn’t you go to the bathroom with Brother Lan just now? Don’t tell me you didn’t see anything?”

“Pffft—” Qin Shu sprayed a mouthful of sour plum juice right across the face of Chu Cheng sitting opposite. Chu Cheng shouted: “F*ck! I’m wearing white today!”

“Cough—sorry, Baby. But I told you before, white doesn’t look good on you, makes you look darker, you should just wear something darker.” Qin Shu shoved some tissues into Chu Cheng’s arms, then turned to Lu Rulu. “I just washed my hands. Didn’t see a thing.”

Lu Rulu clicked his tongue. “What a pity.”

Furious, Qin Shu said: “I’m calling the cops.”

“No worries, let him ‘drive,’” Xie Lanzhi said lazily. “He can only talk about it anyway.”

Qin Shu frowned—something about that line didn’t sound quite right.

After the meal, Chu Cheng went back to school first. He had to pretend nothing happened, then come together with Xu Ning to the party venue, and he could also take the chance to change clothes. Qin Shu and Xie Lanzhi brought along the leftover third wheel back to the party house. They hadn’t been sitting long when the members of the photography club started arriving one by one.

Hehe spotted Xie Lanzhi and Qin Shu on the sofa playing PS4 and smiled in bliss—though if not for the noisy third wheel beside them, she would have smiled even more blissfully.

She walked up to greet them. “I heard you guys were the first ones here?”

Qin Shu, eyes glued to the screen, said, “Yeah.”

“But… why three people?” She cast a disdainful glance at the extra person.

Lu Rulu shamelessly introduced himself: “Hello, classmate, I’m Xie Lanzhi’s roommate, Lu Rulu. I tagged along for the free food, drinks, and fun.”

Hehe: “No—!”

Lu Rulu: “???”

“Xie Lanzhi, explain. What’s going on here? Just how many people are you giving a title to?!” Hehe fumed.

Qin Shu’s ears perked up. “What? What title?”

Xie Lanzhi said: “I don’t know this classmate Lu. No idea who he came with—you can ask Xu Ning later.”

Hehe was satisfied. “That’s better.”

Lu Rulu: “WTF?”

“Student Lu, do you know how to play mahjong?” Hehe said. “They’re missing one for a game over there, you should fill in.”

“Sure.”

Hehe thought once the light bulb was out of the way, “Lan-Shu” could finally enjoy some couple time. But as soon as Lu Rulu left, Wang Youyu arrived.

His face didn’t look good. “Qin Shu, can I talk to you alone?”

Xie Lanzhi narrowed his eyes.

Qin Shu was surprised. “Huh?”

Wang Youyu said: “It’s about Xu Ning.”

“…” Seriously, Sir Wang? You don’t see my boyfriend sitting right here? What grudge do I have with you that you’d bring up Xu Ning in front of him?

Qin Shu looked anxiously at Xie Lanzhi. “Brother, I…”

“Go,” Xie Lanzhi said. “Tell me what he said when you come back.”

Qin Shu nodded quickly. “I will, I will.”

He followed Wang Youyu out to the balcony. “Quick, quick, if you’ve got something to say, say it. If not, dismiss the court.”

Wang Youyu took a deep breath. “Xu Ning… he has someone he likes.”

Qin Shu’s eyes widened. “That’s it?”

“He told me yesterday, told me not to waste my time on him. He also said he really likes that person.”

“That’s great news.”

“That person isn’t Xie Lanzhi.”

“No kidding, of course it isn’t!”

Wang Youyu’s gaze was complicated. “I remember you once said Xu Ning and Xie Lanzhi were fated to be together.”

“Yeah, but man proposes, Heaven disposes. They’re not anymore.” Now he and Xie Lanzhi were the ones fated together. No objections allowed—if anyone objected, they were wrong.

Wang Youyu clenched his fists. “No matter who it is, I won’t give up.”

Qin Shu sighed. “Why put yourself through this?”

“As long as they’re not married, there’s still a chance.”

Qin Shu was horrified. “Whoa, whoa, keep me out of it, don’t drag me into this.”

Wang Youyu didn’t get it. “Didn’t you also like Xu Ning? Your liking is that cheap—you can just give it up like that?”

Qin Shu’s head throbbed. He rubbed his forehead. “I didn’t—”

Wang Youyu sneered, clearly disbelieving.

Qin Shu wanted nothing more than to time-travel back and strangle his past self. “Squid, there’s a kind of love called letting go,” he said earnestly. “As long as Xu Ning is happy, does it really matter who he’s with?” Of course it mattered—if it were Xie Lanzhi with someone else, he’d be so angry he’d keel over. But who couldn’t talk big when it wasn’t about them?

“I think Xu Ning still considers you a friend. But if you keep clinging, in the end you won’t even be friends anymore.”

Wang Youyu stayed silent. Thinking he’d gotten through, Qin Shu went on: “Love is multiplication, not addition. If one side is zero, the result is always zero…”

Meanwhile, Xie Lanzhi had planned to wait for Qin Shu while gaming, but as soon as Qin Shu left, a girl sat down next to him. “Senior, I’ll play with you.”

Xie Lanzhi put down the controller. “I’m going to get a drink.”

At the bar, Hehe was chatting happily with the boss. She asked him: “Hey, where’s your partner?”

“Someone called him away.”

Hehe: “!!!” He didn’t deny it—Qin Shu really was Xie Lanzhi’s partner! They must already be married!

The boss asked with a smile: “Handsome, what do you want to drink?”

“Lemon water.”

Hehe’s heart skipped. “So sour?”

Xie Lanzhi smiled. “Yeah.”

Hehe nearly burst into tears of joy. Mom, I shipped the real deal! She barely held back from screaming. “By the way, male god, I heard from the boss you guys came early to set up a confession scene. Who’s confessing to whom?”

Xie Lanzhi only said: “That’s their private matter.”

“Their?” Then it wasn’t “Lan-Shu”? Hehe was disappointed. “Must be Chu Cheng confessing to Xu Ning then.”

Xie Lanzhi: “…”

Hehe teased: “Why hide it? Didn’t Xu Ning say in the group chat he’s only bringing Chu Cheng? ‘Cheng-Ning’ is about to come true. Qin Shu must be over the moon.”

Xie Lanzhi frowned. “‘Cheng-Ning’?”

“‘Cheng-Ning’—Chu Cheng x Xu Ning. Qin Shu’s been shipping them for years! Back then, he did everything he could to get them together… though I wasn’t far behind, haha.”

Xie Lanzhi, encountering a rare knowledge gap: “What does ‘shipping’ mean?”

Author’s note:

Congrats to Little Love Letter for taking off the playboy hat!

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