If I Can’t Get the Male Lead, I’ll Just Be a Salted Fish Chapter 59

Life’s ups and downs came too fast, way too exciting. Qin Shu was short of oxygen again. The oxygen tank was in the drawer, but he couldn’t go get it.

Opening the drawer, using the tank—both would make noise. With “ChengNing” on the verge of coming true, he would not allow any sound to break the atmosphere between the two of them—including his own breathing!

Oh god, why do humans even have to breathe!!

Thinking back to the last time Chu Cheng over-ate, Qin Shu knew that a stuffed Chu Cheng was much like a drunk person—excited yet dull, eyes hazy and unfocused; he would say things he normally didn’t dare say, do things he normally didn’t dare do. Most important of all, once his stomach digested and he sobered up, he would remember what had happened while stuffed. In other words, as long as tonight ChengNing made things clear, tomorrow they could start dating, the day after tomorrow they could do it, and the day after that they could get married!

Aaaahhh, keep going, faster! He was just a chair in the dorm, a pair of underwear in the closet, pretend he didn’t exist, thank you very much!

Chu Cheng repeated Xu Ning’s words: “I… I’m your birthday present?”

“Yes.”

“The best one?”

Patiently, Xu Ning answered again: “The best one.”

Chu Cheng thought for a moment, then asked: “Better than the swan cake?”

Xu Ning smiled. “You’d have to eat it to know.”

Qin Shu: testing the limits of sudden death.jpg

Qin Shu bit his fist to keep from crying out. His eyes grew wet—this bittersweet joy was like when your not-so-bright son got into Harvard. His life had no further pursuits left; he was the happiest kid in the world!

He was so worked up he vaguely felt Xu Ning’s words weren’t quite right, but he didn’t have the brains to think further.

At the word “eat,” Chu Cheng frowned. “But I can’t eat any more.”

“You can’t eat like this again,” Xu Ning’s fingertips traced his brows and eyes, “binge eating is bad for your health.”

“But I didn’t give you your gift, I’m angry… angry at myself.” Suddenly, Chu Cheng thought of something and jumped to his feet. His body swayed, Xu Ning quickly held his waist. “What is it?”

“The gift’s in the car. I’ll go get it right now!”

Qin Shu’s body didn’t move, but his soul had already sprinted a hundred laps around the track.

Yes, get it, bring it, and then solve your first kiss in Xie Lanzhi’s car! As his boyfriend, he gave permission for them to do shame-shame things there!

Xu Ning held him back, coaxing softly: “It’s too late, tomorrow, okay?”

“No!” Chu Cheng glared. “Birthday gifts have to be given on the birthday! Don’t stop me—whoever blocks me dies!”

Qin Shu: “…shut the h*ll up.”

“Then…” Xu Ning hadn’t forgotten they were in Room 419. He lifted his gaze toward Qin Shu, who was plastered against the corner wall, hugging it as if he wanted to merge into it.

Catching Xu Ning’s gaze off guard, Qin Shu’s body jolted. He whipped around to face the wall: I can’t see anything, I can’t hear anythi—no wait please let me hear it!!

Xu Ning couldn’t hold back a smile, turned back, and whispered in Chu Cheng’s ear: “Then give me a different gift.”

“What gift?”

Xu Ning closed his eyes and pressed a light kiss to Chu Cheng’s forehead.

Chu Cheng’s pupils quaked, his eyes instantly clearing. He stared at Xu Ning in disbelief, stepping back half a pace. “You…”

Qin Shu at the wall: What happened! Was that a kiss? It was a kiss right?!

Aaaahhh he was dead, gone! Please carve on his tombstone: “Here lies a happy CP fan, who died of excitement from seeing his ship come true.”

Xu Ning smiled. “Awake now?”

Chu Cheng’s face turned bright red. “I…”

“Digest it slowly,” Xu Ning said. “We’ll see each other tomorrow.”

Qin Shu: ???

What? Why was Ning Ning suddenly leaving?

He sneaked a peek—Chu Cheng had turned into a lump of dumb iron, tongue-tied, only managing to echo: “See you tomorrow.”

In Qin Shu’s imagination, he grabbed onto Xu Ning’s leg, crying and begging him not to leave, or at least to take Chu Cheng along. His request wasn’t much—just one more bite of sugar, he could die happy.

But reality was watching Xu Ning walk away, leaving behind a dazed Chu Cheng clutching his head.

Enough, Qin Shu comforted himself, not many CP fans had gotten the treatment he had today. Don’t be greedy—he had money, a campus-heartthrob boyfriend, loving parents and an older brother, and his ship had become canon. Honestly, it was almost embarrassing… hahahahaha hic.

Considerately, Qin Shu didn’t disturb Chu Cheng. He’d been there before—he knew this was the kind of moment you needed to yourself, to slowly digest the fact you were no longer single. Quietly, he climbed into bed and pulled up WeChat with Xie Lanzhi.

【Uncle Qin: aaaaaaaaaaaaa】

【Boyfriend: ?】

【Uncle Qin: they confessed! Cheng-Ning is real aaaaa】

【Uncle Qin: Brother I’m so happy aaahhh】

【Boyfriend: I can tell.】

【Boyfriend: I heard you CP fans say, as long as your ship gets married, you’ll die single without regret.】

Qin Shu sensed a trace of jealousy in his words.

【Uncle Qin: no, I’m not like the other CP fans!】

【Uncle Qin: I’m gonna date Brother aaaa】

【Boyfriend: then let’s go on a date.】

【Uncle Qin: eh?】

【Boyfriend: Christmas Eve.】

This year Christmas fell on a weekday. No classes, no exams.

【Uncle Qin: aaa okay! Brother rest early, goodnight!】

【Boyfriend: goodnight, groundhog.】

Come to think of it, he and Xie Lanzhi had never properly gone on a date. He hadn’t expected their first would be on Christmas Eve.

Would it snow that day? …He couldn’t wait.

When he woke the next day, Chu Cheng was fully sober. Without hesitation, he borrowed Qin Shu’s car keys and bolted downstairs.

Qin Shu wanted badly to tag along, but moments like this belonged only to Xu Ning and Chu Cheng.

He stood on the balcony, watching Chu Cheng’s figure sprint away, heart full of emotion.

To like someone, and have them happen to like you back—that must be the most beautiful thing in the world.

An hour later, Qin Shu got Chu Cheng’s WeChat:

【Bad Baby~: He said he likes me too, really likes me.】

【Bad Baby~: We’re together now.】

【Bad Baby~: Thank you for everything you did for me.】

Qin Shu’s nose stung. He and Chu Cheng rarely messaged privately, usually only in the group. But this time, Chu Cheng sent these words just to him.

After confirming with Xu Ning, the first person he told was Qin Shu, and he even said “thank you.”

Qin Shu’s vision blurred; he could barely pick out a reaction meme.

【Uncle Qin: (louder, dad can’t hear.jpg)】

【Bad Baby~: (giving you face, now scram.jpg)】

Not long after, Chu Cheng announced his relationship in the four-man group chat, earning blessings from Lu Rulu and Xie Lanzhi. Lu Rulu clamored that Chu Cheng owed them a meal, and once they’d had the “out of singledom feast,” Xu Ning could officially join the group.

【Overlord Chu: Sure, when are you free.】

【RedCarpGreenCarpAndDonkey: Christmas, duh.】

【Uncle Qin: It’s their first Christmas together, you won’t let them have couple time? Be human.】

【Shuimenjian: Seconded.】

 【Overlord Chu: I’ll just smile and say nothing.】

 【RedCarpGreenCarpAndDonkey: True. Then the three of us spend the holiday together. @Brother Lan @LittleLoveLetter】

 【Uncle Qin: To be honest, I already have plans for Christmas.】

 【Shuimenjian: +1.】

 【RedCarpGreenCarpAndDonkey: ???】

 【RedCarpGreenCarpAndDonkey: Then you two play rock-paper-scissors, winner takes me. (shy)】

 【Uncle Qin: Not happening.】

 【Shuimenjian: Get lost.】

Lu Rulu spammed the group with question marks.

【RedCarpGreenCarpAndDonkey: The h*ll??? You two got something going on too?】

 【Uncle Qin: (masters don’t talk much.jpg)】

 【RedCarpGreenCarpAndDonkey: ……】

Their buddies still didn’t know about him and Xie Lanzhi. Qin Shu wasn’t deliberately hiding it—he just wanted to let things unfold naturally. If they didn’t announce, they could enjoy the thrill of a secret affair (not really); if they did, they could openly show off and dog-food others. He was fine either way, depending on Xie Lanzhi.

In the group, Lu Rulu was still saving face: 【Single is great, free to like whoever you want.】