If I Can’t Get the Male Lead, I’ll Just Be a Salted Fish Chapter 60

On Christmas afternoon, Xie Lanzhi and Lu Rulu had a major course exam. The two went to the exam room half an hour early. Lu Rulu was tortured half to death by cramming, but still didn’t forget to pry gossip out of his dear roommate.

“Who exactly are you spending the evening with, huh? Not even taking me along. I smell something fishy.”

Xie Lanzhi flipped a page of his book. “Then your nose works pretty well.”

Lu Rulu’s whole body itched with curiosity. “Is it that playboy of yours?”

Xie Lanzhi ignored him.

Lu Rulu wailed, “Brother Lan, school grass, male god—look at me, busy to the point of dropping dead, and I still care about your love life. Do me a favor, spill just a little?”

Without lifting his eyes, Xie Lanzhi said, “Don’t misuse idioms. ‘Dropping dead’ makes it sound like you’ve been assaulted.”

Lu Rulu: “???”

How the h*ll did that turn dirty? Lu Rulu really wanted to warn that so-called “playboy”: don’t be fooled by Xie Lanzhi’s cool and aloof exterior—inside, his colors are no less bright than anyone else’s.

Xie Lanzhi’s phone buzzed on the desk. A message from Qin Shu.

【Love letter: Brother, is your exam about to start!】

【Shuimenjian: Mn.】

【Love letter: Then I’ll come pick you up at the exam room later.】

【Love letter: (magical-love-spinning.gif)】

Xie Lanzhi thought a moment and said, “Did you ask Qin Shu?”

Lu Rulu: “Huh?”

“About his date tonight.”

“Of course I asked.”

Xie Lanzhi’s tone was casual. “And what did he say?”

“He said—” Lu Rulu mimicked Qin Shu’s voice, “‘What’s it to you? Anyway, it’s some super handsome Brother.’ I asked him, is he even more handsome than you, and he actually said about the same! Can you believe that?!”

Xie Lanzhi’s lips curved faintly. “Yeah, I can believe it.”

The 419 couple didn’t have exams today, but they still had to wait for their boyfriends to finish before going on their dates. The school was brimming with Christmas atmosphere: the dorm manager auntie had placed a pink Christmas tree at the entrance of the boys’ dorm, decorated with bows and little plush bears. The boys complained endlessly, but they couldn’t resist her girlish heart—in the end, they were all forcibly melted.

Qin Shu came back from the parking lot and saw several tall, broad boys crowding around the tree, taking pictures with either cutesy or pretentious poses. Having always felt he lacked masculinity, Qin Shu suddenly found new confidence.

In the dorm room, Chu Cheng was on his computer playing with his phone. Seeing Qin Shu return, he asked, “Where’d you go?”

Qin Shu unwrapped his scarf loop by loop. “Put my Christmas present in the car.”

“For your date, huh?” Chu Cheng was also curious who Qin Shu’s date was, but nowhere near as nosy as Lu Rulu. He had asked once, and Qin Shu had told him: you just focus on your own romance, when the time is right I’ll tell you. So he hadn’t asked again.

Qin Shu nodded. “Also went to pick up a package.” He set a box on Chu Cheng’s desk. “Here, for you. Double the joy of Christmas and escaping singleness.”

“Holy sh*t!” Chu Cheng saw the shape and logo on the box and guessed what was inside. Opening it, he found the pair of basketball shoes he’d left in his shopping cart forever. “How did you know I wanted these!”

“You sigh at their pictures every chance you get. I may not be straight, but I can still read your mind.” Qin Shu prided himself on having decent gifting skills—maybe not always hitting bullseye, but at least never pulling cringe stunts like giving someone a gym membership.

Overjoyed, Chu Cheng hugged Qin Shu, lifting him off the ground into an 1800-degree spin. “From now on I’ll Flash in to block Zhuge Liang’s ult for you!”

Moved as he was by his “son’s” affection, Qin Shu rolled his eyes in dizziness. “Put me the h*ll down! You’re already blocking for Brother Lan and now me too, how many lives do you have? Better just call me ‘dad,’ I’d be happier.”

Chu Cheng set him down, laughing and cursing. “Screw you. Anyway, I got you a Christmas present too—it’s on your desk.”

Qin Shu was surprised. He’d thought his Baby was so wrapped up in romance he’d forgotten about his old father. But he actually had a present too. “What is it?”

“An oxygen tank.”

Qin Shu: ?

“You’re about out, right? I stocked you up.”

Qin Shu: “………………”

Chu Cheng slung an arm around his shoulders. “From now on you don’t have to skimp—breathe in as much as you want.”

Qin Shu’s mouth twitched. The oxygen canisters they used were usually for pregnant women, the elderly, or people with altitude sickness. Now that his male god was in hand and “ChengNing” was together, his breathless days were over—he really doubted he’d need oxygen anymore. But since the Baby gave it, he could only thank him with tears in his eyes.

Chu Cheng was planning to take Xu Ning to a super popular restaurant. They didn’t take reservations, so he had to go early to wait. Qin Shu asked, “Which restaurant?”

“A Chongqing hotpot place—super tasty.”

Qin Shu’s face stiffened. “Hotpot. On Christmas?”

“Why not?”

Qin Shu was momentarily speechless. “Sure, go ahead.” Anyway, the beauty was already his—this only proved Xu Ning favored Chu Cheng’s goofy charm. No need to worry. “You coming back tonight?”

Chu Cheng countered, “Why wouldn’t I?”

Qin Shu gave a teasing smile. “Doesn’t matter if you don’t. Remember the stuff I told you before—how’s the studying going?”

Lack of experience isn’t scary, nor is bad technique—these can be made up for with theory. Knowledge isn’t just power, it’s endurance and hardness too.

Chu Cheng caught his drift, his face turning pig-liver red. He shot back defiantly: “What about you?”

Qin Shu froze. “Me?”

“Yeah, you. Are you coming back tonight? How’s your studying going?”

“……” Only then did Qin Shu realize he’d overlooked something important. His old problem was acting up again—he could see other people’s relationships (especially his favorite CPs) with perfect clarity, but when it came to his own, he was no less of a fool than Chu Cheng.

Tonight was his first real date with Xie Lanzhi. And it was Christmas. They would… would Xie Lanzhi…?

Qin Shu’s brain went haywire, blood rushing to his head. His whole body felt off.

Chu Cheng was very satisfied with Qin Shu’s reaction. He shook his head and sang: “What goes around comes around, Heaven spares no one—farewell.”

After Chu Cheng left, Qin Shu sat in a daze for a while before getting up and walking onto the balcony. Without heating, it was like an ice cellar. The sky was gloomy, no snow yet, but the sharp cold wind pierced into his bones—exactly what his overheated body needed.

There was still an hour until Xie Lanzhi finished his exam. Or maybe… should he take a shower? Not that he meant anything by it, taking a shower before a date was perfectly normal. Clean and fresh, that’s all—he swore he wasn’t thinking about anything else!

Qin Shu calmly went to shower. Normally it took him ten minutes, but today he spent double that. Afterward, he was toweling his hair when another thought hit him—should he go to the convenience store or the pharmacy? Not that he was planning anything, just… just in case. If Xie Lanzhi only wanted dinner and a movie, then great (right?), but if he wanted more, it would be pretty awkward without supplies.

…Wait a second, why should he be the one to buy them? It’s not like he was drooling over Xie Lanzhi’s body—he really wasn’t!

Qin Shu ruffled his hair like crazy, trying to scrub the dirty thoughts out of his head with the towel.

“Knock, knock, knock.”

Someone was at the door. Qin Shu thought Lu Rulu had come to pry again, so he opened it with messy hair—only to be ambushed by Xie Lanzhi’s devastating looks.

Xie Lanzhi was in a smoke-gray overcoat, simple and elegant, making him look more mature and steady than usual. “Merry Christmas.”

“Brother?” Qin Shu blinked blankly. “Aren’t you still in your exam?”

“I finished early.” Xie Lanzhi stepped inside.

Qin Shu’s eyes widened. “A whole hour early?”

“Mm.” Xie Lanzhi looked at him. “Just showered?”

“Yeah.” Qin Shu was a little flustered. He’d been planning to pick Xie Lanzhi up for their date, but now the man had shown up in full handsome force while he himself hadn’t even fixed his hair. “Brother, wait for me, I’ll just change.”

“Dry your hair first,” Xie Lanzhi said.

Qin Shu mumbled an okay and rummaged through the closet. He remembered he had a short cotton jacket in a color close to Xie Lanzhi’s coat.

Xie Lanzhi didn’t rush him. Instead, he washed his hands on the balcony. “Qin Shu.”

Qin Shu straightened up. “Brother?”

Xie Lanzhi took the towel draped around his neck, pulled it over Qin Shu’s head, and began gently drying his hair.

He was careful and light, making Qin Shu squirm with ticklish laughter.

Xie Lanzhi chuckled too. “What are you laughing at?”

“It tickles. Brother, I can do it myself.”

Xie Lanzhi paused, lowered his gaze, and after a beat leaned down to kiss his lips.

It was soft and light—nothing compared to their two deep kisses before. At least, it should have been nothing… but it wasn’t.

Xie Lanzhi’s lips were cool. Qin Shu’s heart gave a violent tremor.

First the fridge, then the sofa—now towels were added to the list of things he could never look at straight again.

To cover his fluster, Qin Shu hurriedly grabbed a topic: “Brother, where are we going for dinner?”

Xie Lanzhi gave him an address.

“That’s kind of far,” Qin Shu said. “We should leave early, or traffic’ll be bad.”

Noticing Qin Shu’s red ears, Xie Lanzhi found it amusing. “Alright.”

Once Qin Shu was ready, they went down to the parking lot together. Xie Lanzhi drove.

The car was warm, Christmas songs in English played softly. It wasn’t dark yet, but traffic was already heavy. Qin Shu couldn’t help wondering—why pick a restaurant so far away? Was it just to stall for time? Eat, then stroll around, then more traffic on the way back… the classic setup:

“Dorm’s closed, come stay at my place.”

“Oh, sure.”

Exhilarating.

At a long red light, Xie Lanzhi stopped the car and pulled the handbrake. “What are you thinking about?”

Qin Shu swallowed. “Why Brother picked such a faraway restaurant.”

“Because it’s good,” Xie Lanzhi said.

“…Sorry, my bad,” Qin Shu thought.

The restaurant was at the top of a riverside hotel, with windows overlooking the city. On Christmas night, it was full of couples. Two male students did look a bit out of place. For instance, the couple beside them: man in a suit, woman in a black cocktail dress with red lipstick. Compared to them, Qin Shu looked like a high schooler.

Hiding half his face behind the menu, he told Xie Lanzhi: “Brother, you’re so handsome.”

“How so?”

“Look, the place is full of couples,” Qin Shu said proudly, “but none of their boyfriends are as handsome as mine.”

“Then stop looking at them,” Xie Lanzhi said lazily.

“I wasn’t…” Qin Shu muttered guiltily.

They ordered the Christmas special set for two. While sipping cream of mushroom soup, Qin Shu peeked at the group chat. Chu Cheng had posted a video—hot, bubbling nine-grid spicy hotpot. Xu Ning scooped up beef tripe, dipped it in sauce, and placed it in Chu Cheng’s bowl.

【RedCarpGreenCarpDonkey: ?】

【RedCarpGreenCarpDonkey: Suddenly my fried chicken tastes like cardboard.】

Qin Shu snapped a photo of his soup.

【UncleQin: My creamy soup still tastes great.】

【Shuimenjian: The date across from me tastes even better.】

【RedCarpGreenCarpDonkey: ……】

Qin Shu looked up. Xie Lanzhi had just set his phone down, calmly took Qin Shu’s steak, and began slicing it as if nothing had happened.

Minutes later, Lu Rulu also posted a video. He shouted: “Hey Siri.”

Siri: “What can I do for you?”

Lu Rulu: “Call me hubby.”

Siri: “Hubby.”

Qin Shu: “……” Being single was tragic indeed.

Then Xie Lanzhi said suddenly, “It’s snowing.”

Qin Shu looked outside. Snowflakes were falling, drifting past the giant “Merry Christmas” screen on the building opposite, glowing red as they passed.

Qin Shu felt completely satisfied. “Now my night’s perfect.”

After dinner, Xie Lanzhi asked, “Want to walk by the river?”

Who in their right mind would walk by the river in the freezing snow? “Yes!” Qin Shu said.

Turns out quite a few fools thought the same. There were even street performers along the riverside.

They walked slowly, snow settling on their coats. A ship’s horn sounded from afar.

The mood was too good not to do something.

Qin Shu suddenly stopped. Xie Lanzhi stopped too. “What is it?”

In a small voice, Qin Shu said, “Brother, I… I want to hold your hand.”