If I Can’t Get the Male Lead, I’ll Just Be a Salted Fish Chapter 62

Qin Shu had been to Xie Lanzhi’s house so many times he could barely keep count, but this was the first time he entered Xie Lanzhi’s bedroom.

As the sole master of the apartment, Xie Lanzhi had the oversized master suite all to himself, complete with bathroom and walk-in closet. The style was similar to the living room—simple and tasteful—but less like a showroom, with a faint trace of a young man actually living there. On the nightstand sat a professional textbook and a family photo of the three of them. Beneath the computer lay a mousepad for a console game, next to it a cat teaser stick and a jar of cat treats. Qin Shu pictured Lanzhi gaming while Snowball squatted by his feet, staring up at him, until Lanzhi scooped her up and fed her a treat—ah, his HP bar just emptied. The idol plus a cat was too much to handle.

“Brother, do you sleep with Snowball?”

“Sometimes,” Lanzhi said. “If I shut her out, she’ll scratch at the door all night.”

“And if you let her in, she meows nonstop?”

He raised a brow. “How do you know that?”

“Cats are all like that. It’s like Brexit.”

Xie Lanzhi chuckled. “You’ve already showered.”

Qin Shu instantly tensed. They had taken off their coats as soon as they got home, and without all the winter layers, Xie Lanzhi’s knit top looked thin and soft, perfect for taking advantage of.

“Y-yeah,” Qin Shu stammered. “I’ll just wash my face and brush my teeth.”

“Let me see.”

Qin Shu jumped. “Right now?”

Xie Lanzhi stepped closer, close enough their breaths mingled. Qin Shu’s hand at his side clenched tight. “Brother?”

Xie Lanzhi lowered his head and sniffed at his neck. “Smells nice.”

“It’s cherry blossom,” Qin Shu murmured.

“For me?”

Swallowing his shame, Qin Shu gave a tiny “Mm.”

Xie Lanzhi suddenly felt like cursing the school’s stupid curfew policy. He averted his eyes. “Go wash up. I’ll change.”

“…Okay.”

When Qin Shu came out, he noticed two toothbrushes. “Brother, which one do I use—”

But Xie Lanzhi wasn’t in the room. Sounds came from the closet. Qin Shu peeked—door ajar, Xie Lanzhi’s back to him, shirt sliding off to reveal a toned back.

Qin Shu stumbled back in shock.

Xie Lanzhi glanced up. In the dressing mirror, he saw the junior behind him. He grabbed a loose T-shirt, slipped it on, and turned to open the door.

Before he could speak, Qin Shu blurted, face red, “I wasn’t peeking! I just came to ask… ask…”

Wait, what was he going to ask again?

“No need to apologize,” Xie Lanzhi said evenly. “Just let me see you back.”

Qin Shu blinked, then nodded. “Okay.” And started tugging at his own clothes.

Xie Lanzhi’s eyes darkened. He caught Qin Shu’s hand, voice low. “Do that and you’ll get f*cked, junior.”

Qin Shu’s pupils blew wide. First time hearing Xie Lanzhi say something like that—and god, why did it feel so hot?!

Holy sh*t, he can!

Xie Lanzhi pulled the dazed boy toward the bathroom. “The white toothbrush is yours.”

Qin Shu snapped out of it, blurting, “Brother, did you just break character?”

A lazy lift of the eyes. “Who do you think made me break it?”

Scratching his head, Qin Shu muttered, without modesty, “Seems like… me.”

After brushing, he put on the pajamas Xie Lanzhi had set out, and climbed onto the bed first. The bed was huge—could probably fit three Chu Chengs. Qin Shu lay calmly for a while before exploding into a fit of rolling and burying his face in the pillow.

Holy sh*t, he was on Xie Lanzhi’s bed!!! The bed his idol slept in every night!!! Only Lanzhi and he had lain on it—well, plus one cat!

A sudden weight hit his waist. Snowball. She perched there, watching him with inscrutable feline wisdom.

“You wanna sleep with us?” Qin Shu asked.

Snowball meowed, disdainful, then leapt off the bed with graceful steps. Rejected.

When Xie Lanzhi came out of the shower, Qin Shu immediately straightened up, leaning on the headboard, eyes glued to him. His boyfriend’s hair was still damp, fringe falling loosely—almost killed him right there.

Under Qin Shu’s burning gaze, Xie Lanzhi lifted the quilt and got into bed, bringing his cool, refreshing aura with him. Qin Shu’s toes curled tight.

Lanzhi leaned in, kissed him, and said, “You have PE testing tomorrow. Sleep early.”

Qin Shu: “…”

PE testing, f*ck you f*ck you f*ck you!!!

Lanzhi turned off the light. Darkness. Side by side, Qin Shu resigned himself to “pure sleeping,” but couldn’t close his eyes, staring up at the ceiling.

After a while Xie Lanzhi asked, “Wanna sleep in my arms?”

Was that even a question?!

“Yes!”

A chuckle in the dark. Xie Lanzhi pulled him close.

Qin Shu rested his head on Xie Lanzhi’s arm, chin brushing his jaw. Too close. Legs awkward. Body stiff.

Sensing the tension, Xie Lanzhi patted his back lightly. “Don’t be so tight. Relax.”

Muffled in Xie Lanzhi’s chest, Qin Shu muttered, “I’m not you. You’re always so at ease.”

Xie Lanzhi stilled, then laughed softly. “Since when am I at ease?”

“Whatever you do, you’re calmer than me.”

“Maybe I just have better stamina,” Xie Lanzhi teased.

That made Qin Shu think of something. “…Brother, do you mind if people know about us?”

“Do you want the truth or a lie?” Xie Lanzhi said lazily.

Qin Shu’s heart sank. That kind of reply never ended well. “The truth.”

“I mind if they don’t know,” Xie Lanzhi said.

Qin Shu secretly grinned. “Brother.”

“Mm?”

“I can’t sleep.”

A pause. “Can’t sleep… then let’s do something.”

“…Do something?”

The world flipped—Qin Shu flat on his back, Xie Lanzhi above him, kissing slow and deep. Lips wandered down to his neck, collarbone, then seized his Adam’s apple with a sharp bite.

“Ugh—” Qin Shu flinched at the pain, struggling.

“Don’t move,” Xie Lanzhi rasped.

He could feel Xie Lanzhi’s body changing, and he wasn’t any better off. Heart pounding, lips parched. “Brother…”

“I’ll take care of you,” Xie Lanzhi murmured at his ear.

Qin Shu’s hand trembled as it reached out. “I’ll take care of you too.”

…

The alarm was shut off within two seconds. Thanks to last night’s restraint, Qin Shu didn’t feel too off today—shouldn’t affect the test.

He lay in bed replaying details. His hands… Xie Lanzhi’s hands… oh god.

Deep breath. Should’ve brought an oxygen tank.

Xie Lanzhi still slept, lashes down. One glance is enough to brighten a whole day.

Snowball scratching at the door. Qin Shu didn’t want to wake him, slipped out of bed—only to be pulled back by an arm around his waist.

Eyes closed, Xie Lanzhi murmured, “Running away?”

“N-no,” Qin Shu stuttered. “But I’ve gotta go back for the test.”

Xie Lanzhi cracked his eyes, shut them again. “Five more minutes.”

Ahhh!!! What was this—sleepy, grouchy Xie Lanzhi! Only he could see this side, no one else!

Qin Shu obediently lay back in his arms five minutes, then whispered, “Brother, I really have to go.”

“Mm.” Xie Lanzhi stirred.

“You keep sleeping, don’t mind me.”

“Have to mind,” Xie Lanzhi said lazily, forcing his eyes open. “I’ll make breakfast.”

He got up, tossing used tissues into the trash.

When Qin Shu finished washing and dressing, Xie Lanzhi had a spread ready—soup dumplings, shrimp dumplings, sticky rice chicken, purple sweet potato buns, warm milk and soy milk.

Qin Shu ate happily. “Brother, these are frozen foods, right?”

“No. Handmade.”

“…Oh.” Who’d believe that?

Xie Lanzhi didn’t let him eat too much, then drove him back to campus.

Running late, Qin Shu hurried out of the car. “Brother, I’m off!”

“Tell me when you finish.”

“Got it!”

“Wait.” Xie Lanzhi called. “Legs holding up?”

Qin Shu’s face flushed scarlet. “It was only twice! My legs are fine!”

Hand resting on the wheel, Xie Lanzhi smiled faintly. “So tough, huh.”

Afraid his boyfriend would flirt him to death, Qin Shu bolted. He made it to the track field, finding it packed—looked like the whole grade had shown up.

Most of his class clustered together. The class beauty and second beauty were furiously cursing the test policy.

“Notifying us on Christmas night for a next-morning PE test? Who does that?! Even when I do ten-roll pulls in a game I need a ritual bath first—such bullsh*t!”

“Middle and high school they forced us to study nonstop, now in college they realize we’re all weaklings and force us to exercise. Too late! And it’s not just our school—all colleges with PE tests are bullsh*t…”

Spotting Qin Shu, Chu Cheng smirked. “I thought you weren’t gonna make it.”

“Like h*ll I could skip, it said ‘at your own risk’! What about you yesterday?”

“What about me?”

“Your date with Ning Ning! Why’d you get back so early?”

“Snowing outside, where else would I go but back to the dorm?”

Qin Shu was speechless at such heresy.

With so many people, every event needed a long queue. Complaints grew louder, people cursing the school leaders’ eighteen generations of ancestors.

Qin Shu lined up with his classmates, pulled out his phone to text Xie Lanzhi—screen dead. “Sh*t, no battery!”

Chu Cheng ignored him. “Hey, isn’t that Xie Lanzhi coming?”

Qin Shu looked up—sure enough, Xie Lanzhi was walking over.

His appearance stirred a small commotion. Almost everyone in the department knew him.

The class beauty asked Chu Cheng, “Is the campus heartthrob here for you again?”

Qin Shu: “…”

Chu Cheng scratched his head. “Maybe—Brother Lanzhi!”

Xie Lanzhi nodded at him, then stopped in front of Qin Shu.

“…Brother?” Qin Shu asked.

Xie Lanzhi pulled out a phone from his pocket, handing it over. “You grabbed the wrong one this morning.”