Qin Shu: “……!”
The moment Xie Lanzhi finished speaking, the noisy surroundings suddenly went dead silent, everyone simultaneously doing a reading comprehension exercise.
“You grabbed the wrong phone when you got up this morning”—from this single sentence, extracting the key phrases “got up,” “wrong phone,” plus the hidden info “Christmas night,” one could easily conclude—Qin Shu and Xie Lanzhi slept together on Christmas night!
Their school had a lopsided gender ratio, so two boys spending the holiday together was nothing unusual. But Qin Shu had publicly pursued Xu Ning before; everyone who knew him knew he was gay. And now Xie Lanzhi, spending Christmas night with a gay guy, and even sleeping together—our campus heartthrob had been bent, bent by Qin Shu!
Every gaze in the crowd zeroed in on Qin Shu. He felt their stares were about to bore holes straight through his back.
N-no surprise it was Xie Lanzhi. Just last night he’d said he minded if people didn’t know their relationship. Today he was already coming out in high-profile fashion. With so many witnesses here, within two hours the whole school would know that he and Xie Lanzhi, on Christmas night—slept together.
Qin Shu’s face burned hot. He didn’t dare look back to see their reactions. In front of him, Xie Lanzhi remained calm as ever, completely unaware that he’d just dropped a bombshell. Qin Shu even wondered if he’d done it on purpose. With his IQ, the only one who’d believe it was an accidental slip would be Snowball.
Qin Shu still hadn’t taken the phone. Xie Lanzhi gave a soft laugh. “My hand’s about to break.”
Qin Shu snapped out of it, exchanged phones with him, and forced himself to sound calm: “I was wondering why I couldn’t unlock it.”
“Next time just add your fingerprint,” Xie Lanzhi said.
The silence around them lingered. Qin Shu could imagine everyone’s expressions.
Xie Lanzhi lightly tapped Qin Shu’s forehead with the phone. “Do your test properly. I’m leaving.”
“…Okay.”
After watching Xie Lanzhi walk away, Qin Shu took a deep breath and turned around.
Sure enough, the class beauty and the runner-up were clutching each other’s arms, faces full of “holy sh*t,” reenacting The Scream. The boys were either shocked, awkward, or still clueless—like Chu Cheng.
Chu Cheng frowned in deep thought, looking exactly like a brainless Psyduck. He hissed, “Am I the only one who feels something’s off between you and Brother Lanzhi?”
Qin Shu: “…”
“Can’t say what exactly, just… off.”
The class beauties and a few close buddies immediately shoved him aside to swarm Qin Shu.
Second Beauty: “When did this start? You hid this way too f*cking deep!”
A dormmate from 421: “No wonder I kept seeing Xie Lanzhi at our dorm building lately. So that’s it… Brothers, hit ‘understood’ in the chat!”
Class Beauty: “I could cry. The male god’s official partner is a guy! Guess I’ll never have a chance to be the one he pampers after childbirth…”
Class Rep: “Holy sh*t, Little Qin, you’re a legend. First you chased the campus belle, now the campus heartthrob—and you actually got him!”
Qin Shu: “First, I’m not a legend, I’m niubility. Second, don’t call me Little Qin, I’m Qin Shu. Third…” Could he say he didn’t really chase Xie Lanzhi at all, that Xie Lanzhi came knocking himself? …Better not. He had to preserve his boyfriend’s dignity as the school idol.
Chu Cheng, still lost, squeezed back in: “Hey hey, what are you guys talking about? Speak human language!”
Second Beauty gave him a look reserved for idiots. “Are you blind? Can’t you see Xie Lanzhi and Qin Shu are together?”
Chu Cheng’s pupils—no, his whole body—shook, leaving afterimages from the shock. “Huh?!”
The class beauty grabbed her phone, excited. “Qin Shu, can I tell my bestie from Foreign Languages? She’s had a crush on Xie Lanzhi forever. I’ve been telling her to give up, now she can finally move on.”
Qin Shu: “…Go ahead.”
The dreaded PE test had somehow turned into a giant melon-eating festival. The crowd was fired up, morale soaring. The class beauty’s sit-up speed doubled—gotta finish quick so she could keep eating melon!
Meanwhile Qin Shu’s phone buzzed like crazy. In every school group chat he was @-ed nonstop.
In the small four-man group of dorms 418 and 419, Lu Rulu had gone berserk—Qin Shu clicked in, saw nothing but exclamation marks, and immediately quit. Hehe’s WeChat messages kept pouring in, dominating the pinned chats. Qin Shu pinned Xie Lanzhi instead, then opened Hehe’s icon.
Like Lu Rulu, she’d lost the ability to type words. Only exclamation marks, stickers, and one “lsszd.”
【Hehe: (Help me up, I can keep shipping.jpg)】
【Hehe: (Please just get married already ahhh.jpg)】
【Hehe: (F*ck, they’ve 100% already slept together.jpg)】
【Uncle Qin: ?】
So many custom CP stickers—it was obvious she made them herself.
【Hehe recalled a message】
【Uncle Qin: Too late, I saw it.】
【Hehe: F*ck f*ck f*ck, why do you even have time to reply to me! Go! Charge into his arms and ask for kisses!】
【Uncle Qin: I’m in line waiting to run 1200m.】
【Hehe: ???】
【Hehe: What the f*ck??? You slept together yesterday and you can still get out of bed to run 1200 today? Is Xie Lanzhi… not up to it?!】
【Uncle Qin: 0.0】
Qin Shu put his phone away and looked at Chu Cheng, who still hadn’t recovered, his worldview completely shattered by Lan-Shu.
Well, a father’s romance still needed to be explained to his son. Qin Shu patted his shoulder. “You okay?”
Chu Cheng: “…………”
Qin Shu cleared his throat. “So, about me and your Brother Lanzhi—”
“I already know,” Chu Cheng cut in darkly.
Qin Shu’s eyes widened. “You’ve reached enlightenment?”
Chu Cheng held up his phone, face complicated. “Brother Lanzhi said it in the group.”
Qin Shu opened the chat. Beneath Lu Rulu’s countless 60-second voice messages was Xie Lanzhi’s reply:
【Shuimenjian: @Qin Shu, my boyfriend.】
【Shuimenjian: The so-called playboy is him. Yesterday’s date was him too.】
【Shuimenjian: I’ve liked him for a long time. From now on, quit hugging him.】
【Red Carp Green Carp Donkey: Got it. Go enjoy your love life, boss. (kneels)】
That was it? Qin Shu had braced himself for two full essays, and Xie Lanzhi finished it in three lines?
Qin Shu: “This…”
Chu Cheng clutched his chest like he was coughing blood. “Brother Lanzhi’s handsome, top of the class, great at basketball and gaming, he’s always been my idol…”
“Oh, so?”
Chu Cheng snarled: “And you—you’re only average-looking, you flunk exams, you can’t defend towers or kill anyone, every day it’s just ‘hahahaha’ and ‘aaaaah’—what does my Brother Lanzhi see in you?!”
Qin Shu threw his head back and laughed. “Hahahaha I wanna know that too!”
The surrounding girls: God, I wanna punch him, what do I do.
After half an hour, Qin Shu finally got his turn to run the 1200m. As he ran, someone yelled across the field: “Qin Shu, run faster, Xie Lanzhi’s waiting for you!” His foot slipped; he nearly collapsed on the spot.
He barely scraped a pass, and the first thing he did was message Xie Lanzhi. After some hesitation, he posted it in the group—what’s the point of going public if you don’t sprinkle dog food?
【Uncle Qin: Brother, I finished my test!】
【Shuimenjian: Think about what you want to eat. I’ll take you later.】
【Unbendingly Straight: I’m just a dog. Eating, traveling, walking and stopping. Reading, writing, self-dialogue…】
【Overlord Chu: Who the h*ll is this?】
【Shuimenjian: Changed your WeChat name? Can’t handle it?】
【Unbendingly Straight: As the last straight man in this group, this is my final dignity. (puffs chest)】
【Xie Love Letter: I want Chongqing chicken stew! @Shuimenjian】
【Shuimenjian: Okay.】
【Unbendingly Straight: ???】
【Overlord Chu: Xie Love Letter? Writing love letter? Xie Love Letter?? (confused black guy.jpg)】
【Unbendingly Straight: Escaping the dog food zone at high speed (hen flying run.jpg)】
Author’s note: Here it is, here it is! The beloved dog-food-spreading segment!
Lu Jingyun is truly too pitiful, pitiful enough that I almost want to find him a partner (jk).
