If I Can’t Get the Male Lead, I’ll Just Be a Salted Fish Chapter 64

The Lan-Shu romance had become the school’s drama of the year. Gossip-hungry students were bouncing all over Weibo, forums, and every possible platform, completely tossing aside even the bare minimum respect due to exam month. Qin Shu was a little worried that he and Xie Lanzhi might drag down the school’s GPA, so he even made a forum post, calling on everyone to eat their melons rationally—【Have you finished memorizing key points? Finished drilling practice questions? And you’re still here shipping CPs? Don’t look away, I’m talking about you.】

After going public, Qin Shu’s life didn’t actually change much—exams wouldn’t get postponed just because you had a boyfriend. But Chu Cheng and Lu Rulu had picked up an annoying new habit: constantly cueing him. Occasionally, others, like Hehe, would also join in.

At lunch, Qin Shu was eating shredded pork with garlic sauce. Lu Rulu exclaimed in awe: “Worthy indeed of the man who won over the school grass— even eating shredded pork looks this elegant!”

“???”

After washing his face, Qin Shu went to hang up his towel, but Chu Cheng suddenly snatched it away. “So it’s this towel’s fault? Use this towel and the school grass will go blind in love with you?”

“……”

After finishing an exam and heading back to the dorms, Qin Shu ran into Hehe. She looked at him in shock: “How come it’s just you? Where’s your husband?”

“Oh, he—”

“Your boyfriend doesn’t even come pick you up after exams? Scumbag gong! As expected, the one who falls first is the loser.”

Expressionless, Qin Shu replied: “Play less Zhen Ji, okay? You either disgust your teammates or the enemy team—karma comes around, you know. And besides, what am I, a grade schooler? Need my boyfriend to escort me after an exam?”

Hehe was agitated: “I don’t care, I’ve got cancer. If I don’t see you two in the same frame handing out sugar, I’ll die on the spot!”

Qin Shu actually resonated with that. Every true CP fan probably had that “cancer.” Before he had a school-grass boyfriend, he too had survived off the sugar crumbs of “Cheng-Ning.” “Fine, I’ll give you some sugar.”

Hehe’s eyes lit up, watching him devoutly: “Please!”

Qin Shu cleared his throat, embarrassed: “Xie Lanzhi also changed his WeChat name.”

“What the—?!” Hehe had always labeled him as “Male God.” And yet Xie Lanzhi had changed his nickname without her noticing. She quickly opened his profile—Nickname: Xie.

At first she didn’t get it. Then she checked Qin Shu’s own nickname. Suddenly she clapped a hand over her mouth to keep from sobbing out loud: “My cancer is cured. I can ship them for another hundred years!”

After a major course exam, Chu Cheng shouted in the group that he wanted to play basketball to relax:【(Coach, I want to play basketball.jpg)】

【Unbendingly Straight: @Xie, wanna come?】

【Xie: @Qingshu】

【Unbendingly Straight: ???】

【Unbendingly Straight: I’m asking you, why are you @Qingshu?】

【Xie: Reporting in.】

【Unbendingly Straight: (The stare of a single dog.jpg)】

【Xie Love Letter: You guys go first, I’ll bring water after I finish drills.】

【Unbendingly Straight: Highlight, he said “you guys.” (Touched)】

【Xie: I’ll bring the basketball.】

They arranged to meet at the court, and Chu Cheng even brought Xu Ning along. Lu Rulu wailed: “Just when Little Qingshu isn’t here for a bit, I thought I’d be spared the dog food. Turns out it’s just a brand switch.”

Xie Lanzhi ignored his clown roommates and asked Xu Ning: “Never seen you on the court before.”

Xu Ning smiled: “I didn’t use to play much. Now…” He glanced at Chu Cheng warming up. “Got to develop some shared hobbies.”

Xie Lanzhi thought for a moment. “Makes sense.”

Chu Cheng eyed the ball in Xie Lanzhi’s hand: “New ball, bro?”

“Mm.”

“Let me try it?”

Xie tossed it over. Chu Cheng dribbled a bit. “Nice, nice. Feels even better than Brother Yun’s. I should get one too.”

Lu Rulu sneered: “Oh, so letting you play with my ball before was such an injustice, huh?”

“No need to apologize.” Chu Cheng turned the ball in his hands and squinted at the logo. “Xie Lanzhi, what does this ‘QS’ mean? Special edition?”

Xu Ning laughed: “Basketballs don’t have models. Probably ‘Qin Shu’ as an abbreviation.”

Xie Lanzhi nodded. “Yes.”

Chu Cheng stared at the ball, suddenly starting to understand why Xie Lanzhi liked Qin Shu—what guy could withstand a gift like this?

Lu Rulu: “…Heh.” Dog food under the Lan-Shu label might come late, but it never fails to arrive.

Xu Ning had real talent—speed, jumping, skill. Even Lu Rulu, who bragged about decades of domination on the court, got tricked by a fake-out, humiliated, and then roasted by his opponent’s boyfriend: “Brother Yun, you serious? Xu Ning’s a newbie.”

Lu Rulu froze, uncharacteristically speechless—as if his mouth was stuffed with dog food.

Passing by, Xie Lanzhi said blandly: “Trash.”

Lu Rulu clutched his chest in existential crisis: Who am I? Where am I? Why are these people my friends?

After nearly an hour, Xie Lanzhi grew distracted, glancing often at the sidelines. “Xie Lanzhi, ball!” a teammate shouted.

He snapped back, jumped, intercepted Chu Cheng, breezed past Xu Ning, and sank the shot.

A teammate clapped his hand. “What were you spacing out about just now?”

Another guy joked: “Obviously thinking about getting love letters. If not, I’ll livestream cut off my di—”

Xie Lanzhi: “You can keep it.”

“Anyway Xie Lanzhi, you’ve got stamina, huh, not the least bit ‘limp.’”

Xie Lanzhi frowned. “Limp?”

“Hahaha, I know this one! Someone said Qin Shu could still pass his physical the day after Christmas, so they suspected you couldn’t perform.”

Xie Lanzhi: “……You guys keep playing, I’ll go buy water.”

He left the court and texted Qin Shu:

【Xie: Where.】

【Qingshu: Just bought water, heading your way. =v=】

Following the path to the shop, he soon spotted Qin Shu.

There were a lot of players today, so Qin Shu had bought an entire case of mineral water, shuffling forward slowly under the weight. When he saw Xie Lanzhi, he lit up with a bright smile: “Brother!”

Xie Lanzhi walked over. “Give it here.”

“No problem.” Qin Shu hefted the box. “I told you, I’ve got plenty of stamina.”

Xie Lanzhi took it from him. “Save your strength. You’ll need it for… other things.”

Qin Shu instantly caught his drift—and even wanted to race along with him.

Lu Rulu had been right: once couples crossed that intimate line, the atmosphere changed immediately. After their “mutual assistance” last time, Qin Shu felt their relationship had leveled up. Still far from the old-married-couple stage, but the awkwardness was gone. Talking and being together felt much more natural.

“Don’t worry, Brother. I’ll save it.”

Xie Lanzhi chuckled. “Getting more capable, huh, little junior.”

They carried the water back. Teammates swarmed like starving birds, grabbing bottles and grinning their thanks: “Thanks, Xie Lanzhi! Thanks, sister-in-law!”

The more you flinched, the rowdier they’d get. Acting like a shy little bride would only be a loss. Qin Shu stood tall: “No need to thank us, little brothers!”

When it was Chu Cheng’s turn, he asked: “Should I call you ‘sister-in-law’ too?”

“You shut it!” Qin Shu snapped. “We don’t mess with family hierarchy!”

Qin Shu played a bit as well. Like Xu Ning, he wasn’t a regular baller, but Xu Ning utterly destroyed him, leaving him questioning life. Once again, Xu Ning proved that his and Chu Cheng’s tag was “strong-strong.”

Qin Shu comforted himself: Strong-strong is fine—at least they’re still younger.

They played until sunset before drifting off. Lu Rulu put on his jacket and turned to his buddies:
“Where we eating—”

Behind him, no one.

Qin Shu and Xie Lanzhi were walking together, Chu Cheng and Xu Ning just ahead. The court was mostly empty now, the quiet stark compared to the afternoon’s bustle.

Xie Lanzhi wore a long down coat over his jersey, basketball in one arm, the other draped over Qin Shu’s shoulder.

“Brother, tomorrow’s the New Year’s holiday break.”

“Mm.”

“Can I stay over at your place for two days?”

Xie Lanzhi paused, looking down at Qin Shu’s hopeful face, then sighed helplessly. “Tomorrow’s my grandma’s seventieth. My dad and I are both going back with my mom.”

Qin Shu: “…………”

First the fitness test, now grandma’s birthday—just say you don’t want me to grow this year, why all the fancy excuses?!

“Qin Shu?”

Not wanting to make him feel guilty, Qin Shu smiled. “Of course your grandma’s birthday is more important.”

But Xie Lanzhi was also depressed about it. He’d even thought of bringing Qin Shu along, but reasoned against it—elderly birthdays, swarming with relatives, no young guy would like that scene.

Feeling the low pressure around him, Qin Shu tried to lighten the mood. “Brother, cheer up. There’s still New Year’s Eve, Lantern Festival, Valentine’s… we can spend them together. And hey, didn’t we just have Christmas?”

Xie Lanzhi laughed softly. “You trying to coax me?”

“Yes, sir! Did it work?”

“Not yet. Try harder.”

“Then let me think…”

As Qin Shu racked his brain for ways to cheer up his boyfriend, he suddenly felt pressure on his shoulders. He instinctively turned, stepping back until his back lightly hit the chain-link fence around the court.

“No need to think. I’ll teach you.”

Xie Lanzhi bent down.

The instant their lips met, Qin Shu’s head spun, as uselessly as ever. They’d kissed plenty, but this was the first time outdoors—someone could walk by at any moment, or Chu Cheng and Xu Ning could just turn around and catch them.

His heart hammered wildly, hands clutching the fence as Xie Lanzhi kissed him.

Xie Lanzhi’s breath was warm, basketball still tucked in one arm—the ball Qin Shu had given him.

Author’s note: That’s right, I am the basketball. (dog head)

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