Although it wasn’t quite Jiangnan yet, there had still been a lot of rain there in the summer. Last night’s violent wind and rain had turned into a gentle drizzle. The already damp courtyard had gained another layer of moss overnight.
With a creak, the door had opened, and a girl holding an oil-paper umbrella and carrying a basket rushed in. The wooden clogs on her feet made a rapid clicking sound on the stone path. She placed the oil-paper umbrella under the porch and softly called towards the inside, “Miss.”
There had been no response from inside, but a figure could be seen reclining behind the screen.
The girl’s once lively and charming face no longer displayed the confident and spirited demeanor she had shown in front of others. With a sorrowful sigh, tears welled up in her eyes. She picked up the basket and went into the nearby kitchen. After a short while, she carefully carried a bowl of soup and quickly stepped into the room.
As she rounded the screen, she saw that the young girl who had been lying down was now sitting up. Her heart leapt with joy, but on closer inspection, she was once again disappointed.
The young girl’s eyes were still vacant, and if it weren’t for the fact that she no longer drooled at the corners of her mouth, she would have looked completely like someone who was mentally absent.
“Miss…” The girl knelt on the mat, placed the bowl of soup on the low table, and said, trembling and in tears, “Miss.”
The young girl did not respond.
“Jiao-niang, Jiao-niang, Grandma is here to feed you,” the girl said, wiping her tears and using a different address.
The young girl’s body slightly moved, and gradually, her eyes began to show some clarity.
The girl was overjoyed and carefully brought the bowl closer with a spoon.
The spoon paused briefly at the young girl’s lips before she opened her mouth and ate.
Tears started to fall from the girl’s eyes again, but her hands didn’t stop. She scooped another spoonful and brought it over.
After eating four spoonfuls, the young girl no longer opened her mouth.
This was already an improvement. The girl put down the bowl and wiped her tears with her sleeve.
“You say my name is Jiao-niang…”
Suddenly, the young girl’s voice broke the silence. The girl looked up in surprise and delight, noticing that at some point, the young girl’s eyes had returned to a more normal appearance. Although her eyes still had more white than black compared to most people, staring directly into them could send a chill down one’s spine.
“Miss! You’re awake!” The girl grabbed her wide robe sleeve, crying tears of joy.
The young girl sighed softly, her gaze wandering. Though her eyes were somewhat vacant, a spark of liveliness was beginning to show. She looked around, appearing quite unfamiliar with her surroundings.
“Ban Qin, how many times have I had an episode this month?” she asked in a soft, weak voice.
“This is the third time this month, Miss,” Ban Qin quickly replied.
The young girl acknowledged with a soft sound.
“And last month, how many times?” she asked again. “You told me, but I can’t remember.”
“Miss, you don’t need to remember. I do,” Ban Qin said joyfully. “It was five times.”
The young girl acknowledged again, raising her hand to rest her head on the low table, gazing thoughtfully at the screen. Due to her unusual eyes, she appeared more dazed than contemplative.
Ban Qin grew somewhat nervous and carefully observed her.
“Then it seems my health is gradually improving,” the young girl said.
Ban Qin breathed a sigh of relief and nodded quickly.
“Yes, yes, you are getting better,” she said.
The young girl pursed her lips, as if about to smile, but her face seemed stiff and unable to do so.
“Ban Qin, I’m having trouble remembering who I am again, and the things from before. Can you tell me again?” she said.
“Of course,” Ban Qin nodded quickly in response, kneeling in front of the young girl.
At present, it was the fifth year of the Qianyuan era in the Great Zhou Dynasty. The lady’s surname was Cheng, and her given name was Jiao-niang. She belonged to the Cheng family of Xihe in Jiang-zhou. Her father held the position of Inspector of Bing-zhou. Originally, the family resided together in Bing-zhou. However, half a year ago, upon the completion of his term, they returned to Jiang-zhou. Due to her illness, Cheng Jiao-niang resided alone at a Daoist temple outside the city.
“In fact, you were raised in the temple since the age of six,” Ban Qin said with her head bowed.
“Is it because I was born a simpleton?” the young girl asked, as if reinforcing her memory or pondering in doubt.
Banqin lowered her head.
“Yes,” she said, then realizing something, she quickly raised her head again. “No, no, Miss, it’s just the illness, the illness. Look, aren’t you better now?”
The young girl’s face was filled with even more questioning thoughts.
“Then why do I hardly remember any of these things?” she murmured.
“Miss, you’ve been ill for over a decade, so it’s natural that you don’t remember those things. But, but don’t you remember the Old Madam?” Ban Qin said with a hint of urgency.
Old Madam…
In the young girl’s mind appeared the figure of a white-haired old lady, smiling kindly at her.
My darling Jiao-jiao…
“Grandma…” the young girl murmured.
With this murmured utterance, her previously muddled mind suddenly became turbulent, as if filled with countless emotions and images. However, they were all indistinct and elusive, causing her head to ache as if it were about to explode.
“Miss,” Ban Qin, seeing the pain on her face, was frightened. She knelt upright, supporting her and cried out in panic while patting and comforting the young girl’s shoulder.
In her memory, it seemed that there were often hands comforting her like this. With Ban Qin’s actions, the young girl gradually calmed down, and the pain subsided, leaving only a confused and inexplicable feeling in her mind.
“I am Cheng Jiao-niang. I have suffered from mental illness. My mother passed away early, and my father remarried. I was not favored, so it was said that I was sent to the temple for recuperation under the guidance of some divine counsel. Later, he left me behind and departed,” she said.
As her emotions recovered, her voice regained strength, but it lost some of its gentleness. It seemed to have become somewhat rigid, sounding stiff and formal.
Ban Qin lowered her head.
They claimed it was due to her poor health preventing her from traveling far, or that they would arrange for someone to fetch her home in due time. However, the truth was known to all.
From the moment this simple-minded child was born, she had been a source of shame for the Cheng family. If it weren’t for Cheng Jiao-niang’s mother’s insistence, she would have been drowned at the age of one when diagnosed as a simpleton by the doctor.
Caring for the simpleton was burdensome, and enduring mockery from her husband’s family led to Cheng Jiao-niang’s mother’s passing when Jiao-niang was just six years old. The Cheng family found yet another excuse to expel the child from their home and send her to the temple.
Jiao-niang managed to survive in the temple thanks to her grandmother’s care. However, a year ago, her grandmother passed away too. Jiao-niang’s uncle and aunt were unwilling to spend a fortune on a child from another family. With the temple’s financial support cut off and Jiao-niang’s father’s departure from Bing-zhou, the temple bore the sole responsibility for her care. Although they promised to retrieve her, the distance of thousands of miles made it no easy task.
It was evident that they had forsaken Cheng Jiao-niang. Suddenly, her life became fraught with hardship.
In reality, the Cheng family had long abandoned this child.
There was a moment of silence in the room.
“Ban Qin, it’s been hard for you to serve me for so many years,” the young girl said slowly.
Ban Qin shook her head.
“My life was saved by the Old Madam. I promised the Old Madam to serve you for a lifetime,” she said.
Following the passing of Cheng Jiao Niang’s mother, her grandmother recognized the unreliability of the Cheng family members. Hence, she assigned two maidservants— one elder and one younger— to constantly accompany Cheng Jiao Niang. Unfortunately, the elder maid passed away a year ago, leaving only Ban Qin to care for her.
The girl’s lips twitched slightly. Ban Qin recognized this expression well; she knew it was the girl’s way of smiling. Hastily, Ban Qin forced a grin in return, tears still evident in her eyes, presenting a rather amusing sight.
Even the act of smiling seemed challenging. The girl reached up to touch her own face, as if feeling disconnected from her own body. Nonetheless, she could now walk steadily and articulate words. Yet, occasionally, she would still lapse into moments of confusion, losing awareness. She had a preference for shade over sunlight, but overall, her physical condition was improving.
Cheng Jiao Niang…
Her hand gently traced her face, the skin smooth to the touch. Experiencing a sense of unfamiliarity with oneself was peculiar. However, fragments of memories continued to resurface in her mind—scattered recollections of Cheng Jiao Niang, along with some even stranger memories, such as medical knowledges.
