“You must remember who you are.”
Outside the courtyard gate, Steward Cao took Cheng Ping aside and spoke earnestly.
“Don’t go talking recklessly to my lady again.”
Cheng Ping shook off his hand.
“You think I enjoy speaking with your lady?” he retorted, then rubbed his hands together thoughtfully. “Seeing your lady this time, I’ve noticed something different compared to before…”
He trailed off, hesitating to continue.
“What did you notice?” Steward Cao asked with a hint of nervousness.
Having been away from the lady for so long, much of what he knew came from letters. But words on paper could hardly compare to real experience. The girl once disliked by her own kin had now become a princess consort. He hadn’t dared to look too closely or speak too freely when he saw her. Whether it was due to the distance between them or something else, he also felt the lady wasn’t quite the same as before.
Cheng Ping leaned in, raising a hand to shield their conversation.
“Your lady seems even stranger than before,” he whispered.
Steward Cao spat in disdain and slapped him lightly on the head.
“That’s because you’re the strange one!” Steward Cao retorted.
As the two of them were tugging and pulling at each other, Ban Qin led Cheng Jiao-niang over from the other side. Steward Cao hurriedly bowed in greeting and shot Cheng Ping a warning glance, watching as they entered the main hall.
“Actually, I don’t have much to do in the capital, but since I’m already here, I thought I might as well stay and resume my old trade,” Cheng Ping began, smiling casually. “With so many people in the capital, I expect earning a hundred coins a day should be easy, which would also give me more free time for reading.”
In other words, he had no intention of relying on Duke Jin’an’s household.
Cheng Jiao-niang nodded in acknowledgment.
“Do as you wish,” she said, bowing respectfully.
Cheng Ping accepted her courtesy with composure.
“You do as you wish too,” he replied with a smile, then looked at the deferential girl before him. “Was there something you wanted to say to me?”
Cheng Jiao-niang lowered her gaze and bowed once more.
“Since you’ve just arrived in the capital, may I ask if you’ve heard about the matter of Chancellor Chen’s daughter being chosen as the Crown Princess?” she said.
Cheng Ping was taken aback, and Ban Qin, who was seated nearby, also looked surprised.
She would ask about this?
“I’ve heard a little,” Cheng Ping replied. “Just arrived, you see – people were saying the Crown Princess has been selected, and it’s Chancellor Chen’s daughter. A marriage alliance – good news, good news.”
“This matter is not exactly good news,” Cheng Jiao-niang said, and before Cheng Ping could react, she proceeded to recount the whole story.
Cheng Ping listened with gleaming eyes, seemingly both astonished and rather excited to hear such a court secret.
“So that’s how it is,” he remarked, with a touch of sighing. “Truly… not an easy affair.”
“Who do you think had it hard?” Cheng Jiao-niang asked.
Cheng Ping laughed heartily.
“No one had it easy, really, no one,” he said.
Cheng Jiao-niang lifted her head and looked at him.
“Then, in your opinion, was Chancellor Chen right in what he did?” she pressed.
Cheng Ping’s expression once again turned to astonishment.
…
“They are speaking inside the main hall.”
In the inner residence, Eunuch Jing spoke softly, his head bowed.
“Your Highness, would you like to listen in?”
Here in Duke Jin’an’s residence, conversations in certain places could be overheard if one wished.
“She is speaking openly in the hall, meaning she has nothing to hide. If there is nothing to hide, why should there be any need to eavesdrop?” Duke Jin’an tossed the book back onto the low table and shot a cold glance at Eunuch Jing. “Do any of you even see me as your lord anymore?”
Eunuch Jing immediately knelt.
“I wouldn’t dare,” he said, his head lowered.
“Good that you dare not. Remember, the way you treat me is the way you must treat her,” Duke Jin’an said slowly.
Eunuch Jing acknowledged the order and rose to withdraw.
A young eunuch hurried over to his side.
“They are talking about Chancellor Chen’s situation – she asked that man whether Chancellor Chen’s actions were right or wrong…” he whispered.
Before he could finish, Eunuch Jing raised his hand to stop him.
“Withdraw them. Withdraw them all,” he said.
Withdraw?
The young eunuch was momentarily stunned, then quickly bowed and turned to leave, only to be called back by Eunuch Jing.
“Clean up everything around as well,” he added in a low voice.
The young eunuch understood and acknowledged the order.
Watching the young eunuch walk away, Eunuch Jing furrowed his brow.
Discussing Chen Shao’s matter with that unremarkable fellow and even asking whether Chancellor Chen’s actions were right or wrong?
How very strange.
Still… was Chancellor Chen right or wrong in what he did? How would that man answer?
“Let’s not speak of others’ right or wrong, let’s not,” Cheng Ping said with a smile, waving his hand. “Besides, when it comes to Chancellor Chen’s actions, who are we to judge whether they were right or wrong?”
Cheng Jiao-niang acknowledged with a nod.
“Then, if you were Chancellor Chen, would you have acted that way?” she asked.
Cheng Ping laughed heartily.
“Of course not,” he said without hesitation.
Not?
This time, it was Cheng Jiao-niang’s turn to look startled.
“Why not? Chancellor Chen did what he did for the principles he devoted himself to,” she said. “Is it not a minister’s duty to act without regard for personal safety and to press forward unwaveringly? Shouldn’t the pursuit of principle be exactly like that?”
Cheng Ping chuckled softly, leaning sideways against the armrest with one knee bent.
“What kind of principle is that?” he replied, smiling. “And doing that isn’t really for principle either.”
Not principle? Not for principle?
Cheng Jiao-niang looked at him.
“How could it not be?” she exclaimed without thinking.
Her reaction made Cheng Ping’s smile falter slightly.
“Ah, I was just speaking carelessly,” he quickly said. “That’s just my own thought.”
Cheng Jiao-niang shook her head.
“No, your thoughts are our thoughts,” she insisted urgently. “The Crown Prince is where he believes the Heavenly Way resides. For the sake of this Heavenly Way, we are willing to walk through fire and water, to die without regret.”
We?
These words seemed to shift the conversation – he was speaking of one matter, while “we” pointed to another.
Cheng Ping let the two words slip past his ears, smiling as he looked at the girl and shook his head again.
“No, the Crown Prince is not his ‘Way.’ This kind of ‘Way’ is not the Heavenly Way, nor is it for the Crown Prince or anyone else…” he said, the words “or anyone else” slipping quickly past his lips. “It’s only for oneself, for one’s own desires – how can that be called the Heavenly Way?”
Cheng Jiao-niang stared at him, her expression torn between urgency and confusion.
“For oneself? No – we are not doing it for ourselves…” she insisted anxiously.
No, it couldn’t be. The Cheng family had persisted through generations – how could it be for themselves? If it were for themselves, why would they have acted this way!
“Not for yourselves? Then how could you commit such inhumane acts? Lose your humanity, and what claim do you have to the Heavenly Way?” Cheng Ping said, his tone still relaxed.
Humanity?
“What is humanity?” Cheng Ping suddenly raised his voice and asked. “That which makes me myself…”
“…is because there is spirit,” Cheng Jiao-niang followed along softly.
Cheng Ping paused, his words not ceasing.
“…The reason spirit remains within me is because of the Way,” he continued.
Apart from his voice, Cheng Jiao-niang’s voice also carried on.
“…The art of nurturing the Way, the method of preserving spirit, takes purity as its foundation, emptiness as its constant state…”
As the words faded, silence filled the room for a moment.
“You have excellent understanding, Madam,” Cheng Ping remarked with a light chuckle.
Excellent understanding indeed.
Cheng Jiao-niang looked at him with a bitter smile.
“Yes, it is because there is spirit – and so we seek the Heavenly Way with all our hearts, and abide by it,” she continued.
“The Heavenly Way?” Cheng Ping laughed again. “It has no root, no gateway in or out. It can be heard of but not revealed, seen but not expounded, attained but not transmitted, used but not spoken of. If you speak of ‘seeking’ it, that is already a departure from the Great Way.”
“Seeking?” Cheng Jiao-niang asked, looking at him.
“The Heavenly Way requires no seeking. To speak of ‘seeking’ means it is for oneself,” Cheng Ping replied with a smile, patting his own chest lightly. “For fame, for power, for gain – where there is desire, there is seeking.”
He chuckled softly here.
“Where there is seeking, there is gain and loss. All of it is simply what one brings upon oneself – striving for what one desires can hardly be labeled right or wrong. But one should not think too highly of oneself, nor glorify one’s motives too much. To cloak it all in the name of pursuing the Way is nothing more than self-deception.”
Cheng Jiao-niang abruptly stood up.
“That’s not true!” she exclaimed, her face flushed. “That’s not true! We are following the Heavenly Way – complying with it, because the Heavenly Way should be so. That is why we act this way.”
Ban Qin trembled as she rose, uncertain whether to intervene or what to do.
Cheng Ping’s smile faded.
“Acting because you’re complying with the Heavenly Way? What, so if you can glimpse the Heavenly Way, you can do whatever you please?” he said slowly. “That is not the Way – that is mere craft!”
Not the Way, but craft!
Cheng Jiao-niang stared at Cheng Ping, feeling as though thunder had crashed in her ears.
Craft, not the Way!
“The Cheng family has been a leading clan for generations.”
“That is only natural, because our Cheng family complies with the Heavenly Way.”
The Cheng family flourished because they complied with the Heavenly Way, glimpsed it, acted in accordance with it – and thus gained fame and profit, becoming prosperous and powerful.
Once prosperous and powerful, they must continue to comply with the Heavenly Way to preserve their name and prevent the clan’s decline. Following the Heavenly Way – for fame, for power, for profit, for the endless continuity and glory of the Cheng clan – they pursued the new emperor, securing the merit of supporting his accession.
Glimpsing the Heavenly Way, doing as they pleased, employing the craft of power and strategy, complying with the Heavenly Way, even shaping it.
Not the Way, but craft!
Not the Way, but craft!
Father! We were wrong!
Cheng Jiao-niang fell to her knees, bowing forward as she covered her face and wept bitterly.
Father! We were wrong!
Cheng Ping was so startled that he jumped up and took a step back.
See? There it is again – just as strange as ever.
Although he hadn’t heard exactly what they were saying, when Cheng Ping took his leave, Cheng Jiao-niang did not return to the inner chambers but went instead to the training ground. Duke Jin’an knew this much.
“She cried again,” Eunuch Jing said. “She’s walking around the training ground.”
Duke Jin’an hesitated for a moment, then in the end did not rise.
“Then let her have some quiet,” he said.
That quiet lasted until nightfall. When she returned from the training ground, she went straight into the study and still hadn’t come out by the time dinner was set.
“Madam said she won’t be eating,” Ban Qin said softly.
Duke Jin’an looked at the low table set before him, then at the maid.
“Do you never try to persuade her?” he asked with mild curiosity.
Duke Jin’an almost never spoke to maids like them; being suddenly addressed, Ban Qin was a little startled.
“Yes,” she nodded, then quickly explained, “When Miss says something, that’s how it is. There’s no need to persuade her.”
Duke Jin’an smiled faintly.
“Have the kitchen keep things ready. When she feels like eating, they can cook it again,” he said.
Night had fully fallen. Duke Jin’an rubbed his eyes, tossed aside the book in his hand, and looked at the empty inner chamber, finding the sight strangely unfamiliar. Just as he was hesitating over whether to go to the study to check on her, the door curtain rustled and Cheng Jiao-niang came in.
“Why are you still not asleep?” Cheng Jiao-niang asked when she saw him sitting at the edge of the bed.
Her voice was not hoarse, and her complexion was only a little pale. At first glance, she looked no different from usual.
And that was precisely what was wrong – she had hidden herself away again.
Duke Jin’an sighed inwardly.
“I was waiting for you,” he said with a smile, lying down as he spoke. “Go wash up.”
Cheng Jiao-niang said nothing and went in.
When the last lamp was extinguished, the room sank into darkness. Someone lay down beside him, and Duke Jin’an shifted a little closer inward.
“If you’re hungry, say so. Don’t endure it,” he said with a light laugh. “Heaven and earth may be vast, but eating is the greatest matter.”
His words had barely fallen when the person beside him turned over and reached out to hold him.
Held him.
Duke Jin’an felt his body go rigid, his mind blank. Through the thin sleeping garment came a warm, damp sensation that startled him back to himself.
“It’s all right, it’s all right,” he said, a little stiffly, reaching out to pat and soothe the person leaning against him.
The person in his arms neither spoke nor moved, simply holding him like that.
In the summer night, he could clearly feel the chill around her chest.
Duke Jin’an raised his hand and drew Cheng Jiao-niang closer against his chest.
“It’s all right, it’s all right,” he continued softly. The hand that was patting her gradually grew more practiced and relaxed, while his heart held both a trace of worry and an irrepressible flicker of joy.
Some people, once wounded, refuse to let others see it or draw near – like injured wild beasts, even more wary and guarded than when unhurt. They never expose their wounds before others, choosing instead to hide away and heal themselves alone. He was like that, and so was she.
And yet now, this girl who was so clearly wounded had embraced him, willing to share her sorrow with him.
That must be because of Cheng Ping, wasn’t it?
His arrival, after all, wasn’t such a bad thing.
