Chapter 50: Fengtai County (8)
Tiefo Temple was a place of Buddhist serenity and purity. Lin Zikui didn’t have the courage to do anything intimate with Xiao Zhaoling here—at most, they just held hands. Yet even that simple gesture of entwining fingers helped ease the longing that had been accumulating like heavy clouds these past few days. His heart exhaled in quiet relief.
“You said you’d be back at the end of last month. I waited and waited, all the way into the latter half of this month, and still didn’t know when you’d return. Were you already on the road? Did something happen on the way back…”
But Xiao Fu’s mind was still stuck on that other topic—Lin Zikui’s itching: “That Gu worm my third brother gave you—was it on purpose or accidental?”
Lin Zikui: “…”
“You! Can you not bring that up again? It was just a skin itch.” He regretted ever telling Zhao Ling about it and turned to leave. Then, stopping mid-step, he asked: “Have you eaten?”
“Not yet.” Xiao Fu smiled, tugging gently on his sleeve. “Little Husband, will you take me to eat something? Is it delicious?”
“I haven’t eaten either. Let’s go to the vegetarian hall. I heard Tiefo Temple’s vegetarian dishes and plum blossoms are the best in all Huainan. Their dishes…” Lin Zikui stopped mid-sentence, suddenly remembering that Xiao Zhaoling had lost his sense of taste after being poisoned in childhood.
Poisoned when he was young—he must have been from an aristocratic family, probably a concubine’s son, harmed by someone. He later joined the military, and because of his striking looks, he was often bullied. After years of struggling through rough conditions, his body was covered in blade scars—each one shocking to behold.
Xiao Zhaoling’s early life had been nothing but suffering. Yet despite all that, he still smiled easily.
As Lin Zikui pictured all this, his heart ached. His own bottom line shifted.
Fine. He could say whatever he wanted. If he couldn’t bear to hear it, he’d just pretend he didn’t.
As they ate, Lin Zikui described the flavor of the dishes to Xiao Zhaoling.
“This is mushroom. It has a rich and mellow aroma, with woody and fallen-leaf notes. It’s one of the most distinct tastes in food. But many wild mushrooms are poisonous, so don’t ever try picking and eating them out in the wild.”
Xiao Fu ate while sketching out the flavors in his mind based on the descriptions.
He still couldn’t truly imagine the taste—but somehow, the food seemed more enjoyable now, not so dull and flavorless.
During their meal, a young servant from the Xue residence suddenly arrived.
“Young Master Lin! I finally found you! Master was wondering where you went. You suddenly disappeared!”
Then the servant spotted Xiao Fu and paused: “Eh? And this young master is…?”
“He… he’s…” Lin Zikui didn’t dare say that this man was his wife. His face flushed bright red without reason.
Xiao Fu stepped in smoothly, “My surname is Xiao. I’m Young Master Lin’s sworn brother. I came looking for him specifically.”
“Oh, so it’s Young Master Xiao! In that case, would you please come with us as well?”
“We’ll head over once we’ve finished our meal. Where is your master?”
“He’s at the Hall of Great Strength.” The servant took his leave after saying this, allowing them to continue their meal. There wasn’t much food left, but Lin Zikui was never one to waste. He insisted on finishing everything before getting up.
Xiao Fu hadn’t eaten much, so Lin Zikui picked up his leftover dishes and quietly ate them instead. Lowering his gaze, he said softly, “Earlier… I hesitated. I didn’t dare say you were my wife. That was my mistake.”
“I’m dressed in men’s clothing. If you said I was your wife, you’d probably face ridicule, Jieyuan Lin.” Huainan was Lin Zikui’s hometown. Xiao Fu didn’t want to leave behind whispers and gossip once he went to Jinling. There were too many mouths to silence them all.
“Eat slowly. Eat until you’re full. Put on a little weight.”
“I’m already full.” Lin Zikui still had some rice in his bowl, but he forced it down with difficulty. Xiao Fu shook his head and took the bowl and chopsticks away: “If you can’t eat anymore, don’t force it. Afraid of wasting food, right? I’ll finish it for you.”
In just a few bites, he cleared the bowl without leaving a single grain behind. Then he stood up: “Let’s go. To the Hall of Great Strength. The Xue family has many mouths and gossips. Zikui, don’t call me wife there.”
“Then what should I call you? Xiao Lang? Brother? Brother Xiao?”
“Xiao Lang sounds like you’re calling your lover.”
“…Brother, then.”
Xiao Fu smiled: “Let’s go with that for now. Brother, big brother—both are fine.”
Lin Zikui felt a little awkward but still nodded, and the two of them returned together to the Hall of Great Strength. The whole Xue household was already there, preparing to head home shortly. Sure enough, the moment Prime Minister Xue saw Xiao Zhaoling, he pointed at him, gasping for breath in shock: “You—you again?! Why are you here again?!”
Xiao Fu, “In response to Teacher, I came this time to bring Zikui back to Jinling for the imperial exam.”
A maidservant by the old madam’s side wiped her eyes and muttered under her breath, “Oh my, this young master looks just like the bride of Young Master Lin from the other day. Must be her elder brother.”
The old madam was getting on in years. She didn’t remember things from ten years ago as clearly as Prime Minister Xue did.
When she got a good look at Xiao Zhaoling’s face, a sudden glimmer of familiarity crossed her mind.
“This young master… hasn’t he been to our residence before?” If her memory had been any sharper, she might have fainted on the spot. He was that second son of Duke Chang, the one they said had gone mad—the Prince Regent.
Aside from the old-timers in the Xue household, none of the newer servants had seen Xiao Fu from ten years ago, nor could they possibly know who he really was. Since Young Master Lin had introduced him as his elder brother, everyone just took him at his word. He was staying in Lin Zikui’s courtyard, and no one thought anything of it.
After they returned from Tiefo Temple, Xiao Fu immediately told Third Master to head back to Jinling: ”The mother consort of the Fourth Prince is sick—tuberculosis. The imperial physicians can’t do anything for her. He begged me to help. Third Brother, could you go check on her?”
Third Master sighed deeply: “I just got here and now I’m leaving again? Wait, let me first go change the dressing for Young Master Lin. His eye should be ready to come out of the patch soon.”
When Xiao Fu heard him mention changing the medicine, his mind immediately jumped elsewhere: ”Third Brother, do you have any kind of… aphrodisiac?”
“You’re going to drug Lin Zikui? You two haven’t consummated the marriage yet?”
Xiao Fu: “…”
Was that really so strange?
Why did Third Master Xie look at him like he’d just heard something outrageous?
Knowing Xiao Fu’s personality, Xie Laosan couldn’t believe what he was hearing. This wasn’t like the domineering Xiao Fu he knew. But if it was about drugging someone, Third Master was absolutely against it: “I don’t have that kind of medicine. Find your own way—but don’t go bullying him.”
Xiao Fu, “I was just asking. I never planned to drug him. But your Gu worm—it’s not very proper, did you know that?”
“What’s wrong with my Gu worm?” Xie Laosan couldn’t stand anyone saying anything bad about his insects. He rolled up his sleeves, glaring. “What do you mean ‘not proper’? Xiao Fu, you’d better explain yourself!”
“…Nothing.” Xiao Fu figured Lin Zikui hadn’t told anyone else about it. After all, an itchy rear caused by a Gu worm wasn’t exactly the kind of thing one shared openly. That Zikui only confided in him meant… it stirred something deep in Xiao Fu’s chest.
He thought about it day and night. Dreamed about it. Just wanted his Little Husband to feel good.
Lin Zikui’s residence, Wutong Courtyard, was a small, modest place. It had three rooms inside and out, where Jinzun, the young attendant, and Lin Zikui each stayed.
Mo Liu found it strange: “Why doesn’t Madam tell anyone she’s Madam Lin? She even lets people call her Young Master Xiao. I mean, sure, she looks like a man, but she’s still a woman—and now she’s married. Isn’t this inappropriate?”
Jinzun looked at him like he was an idiot.
Lin Zikui hadn’t told Mo Liu the truth, worried he couldn’t handle it. Since he kept assuming Zhao Ling was a girl, Lin Zikui decided to just let it slide. He’d deal with it when the truth inevitably came out.
That night, past the hour of the Dog (around 7–9 p.m.), the Xue residence was quiet as could be. Frogs croaked around the garden pond.
With the door shut behind them, Lin Zikui didn’t know what to do. Should they sleep on the same bed? Or separately? Should he take the couch?
He glanced at the soft couch in the room. A few books were laid out on it. He drifted over without thinking and picked up a book to pretend to read.
The couch was narrow—just enough for Lin Zikui. Definitely not enough for Xiao Zhaoling.
But Xiao Fu squeezed over anyway, resting his chin on Lin Zikui’s shoulder. “What book’s this?”
“It’s the Book of Changes…”
“Ah, the I Ching. So, can you read palms now? Read mine?” Xiao Fu held out his hand. Lin Zikui shook his head:” No, but I can do divination. Six lines. I’m not very gifted at it, though, so my results are unreliable. This book—it’s about observing changes in heaven and earth, the sun and moon, yin and yang. An endless cycle of rise and fall.”
Reading had broadened Lin Zikui’s mind so much that even engaging in a relationship like theirs—so defiant of yin and yang—he could still accept it.
Xiao Fu didn’t really understand any of this, but he listened earnestly anyway. He never liked scholars—he’d never liked reading himself, and always hated being lectured by uptight Confucians. But Lin Zikui was different.
One of them read, the other listened, both squeezed onto that narrow couch. Lin Zikui thought it was cramped, occasionally glancing toward the bed and then pulling his eyes back. The couch was better. He feared if they moved to the bed, Zhao Ling would want to touch that place again.
What he didn’t expect was—even on the couch—Xiao Fu still wanted to touch him.
Xiao Fu’s fingers toyed with his belt: “Lin Lang isn’t wearing inner garments or undershorts. Did you buy new ones?”
“Mm. I bought them. Bought them the next day after I arrived…”
Xiao Fu, “What color did you buy?”
Lin Zikui let out an “Ah” and answered blankly, “Why would I buy colors? They’re all just plain white…”
Xiao Fu, “Let me see?”
Lin Zikui blushed furiously and stammered, “Wh-What’s there to see! They’re just white. You have them too.”
Xiao Fu smiled at him. “Then has Lin Lang seen mine? Mine are red.”
Lin Zikui quickly held the book up to cover his face. “No, no, I haven’t. I didn’t look.” He still had a man’s pride, and thinking about it made him feel a little inferior.
Xiao Fu reached over and nudged the book.
Lin Zikui ignored him, continuing to hold it up like a shield.
Then Xiao Fu, in a low and ambiguous voice, murmured, “The underpants Lin Lang left in my carriage… I never threw them away.”
Lin Zikui replied, “Mmm… Then I can still wear them when I go to Jinling for the exam. It’d be a waste otherwise, I didn’t wear them for long.”
“You can’t wear them anymore. I’ve already used them.”
Lin Zikui blinked. “My clothes… How could you wear them?” The difference in their body sizes meant there was no way they would fit.
“I didn’t say I wore them, I used them. When I miss you, I use them.”
“…What?” Lin Zikui didn’t quite understand.
“Nothing. Just… used them like that.” Xiao Fu reached under the book from below and gently lifted it, revealing Lin Zikui’s smooth chin.
Xiao Fu leaned in and gently pressed a kiss to that chin.
In an instant, Lin Zikui forgot to keep asking. Both hands gripped the fragile cover of the Book of Changes tightly.
Xiao Fu continued to push the book upward, but it wouldn’t move any further—Lin Zikui seemed to be holding on with all his strength.
So Xiao Fu had to whisper, “Move the book up over your head a little. If you’re shy, just cover your eyes.”
Lin Zikui paused, then slowly shifted the book up a little, just enough to expose the dip above his lower lip.
“Higher, let your mouth show.”
Lin Zikui reacted like a startled animal, shifting a little with each nudge. He knew what Xiao Zhaoling was trying to do, and he just couldn’t bring himself to comply easily. Whatever Xiao Fu said, he’d follow—bit by bit. He moved again, just enough to reveal his lower lip. Xiao Fu chuckled softly. “So slow—are you an ant or something? A little higher.”
Lin Zikui opened his mouth slightly. “Turtles are the slow ones. Ants aren’t slow. They’re just small.”
“Then I remembered wrong,”
Xiao Fu said, amused. Now both of Lin Zikui’s lips were exposed—red, soft, and trembling slightly. Xiao Fu lowered his head and gently brushed against them. He extended his tongue for a light taste. Lin Zikui’s fingers clutched the book so tightly it nearly tore. Through the gap in the pages, he noticed the flickering candlelight. Xiao Zhaoling’s movements became even clearer—earnest and gentle. But Lin Zikui couldn’t respond. He didn’t know how. He had no experience, and his courage was lacking. All he could do was accept it passively, every muscle in his body taut and trembling.
“Why are you clenching your teeth? Stick your tongue out for me, let me kiss you.”
Lin Zikui’s face turned completely red. He was so embarrassed—it felt downright indecent.
“We haven’t seen each other in a month, Lin Lang. Do you not love me anymore? Have your feelings changed? You won’t even let me kiss you.” When Lin Zikui remained frozen, Xiao Fu cupped his chin. Lin Zikui shut his eyes tightly, guided by Xiao Fu’s coaxing words, and—half willing, half resisting—tentatively stuck out a small, pink tongue. Just as he tried to pull it back, Xiao Fu captured it with his mouth. At that moment, Lin Zikui’s heart nearly leapt out of his throat, beating wildly.
That sensation lasted a long time—until the night deepened and dew began to form. The hour of the Dog passed into the hour of the Pig. Lin Zikui couldn’t stay awake anymore. Xiao Fu asked, “You’re sleepy? Don’t you want to know how I used your clothes?”
Lin Zikui mumbled, “How did you use them? Don’t tell me to wipe the floor?” He curled into the corner of the soft couch, back against the wall. Xiao Fu, half hanging off the edge, leaned in and whispered a few words into his ear. Lin Zikui’s eyes, which had just been closing, suddenly flew wide open. Any trace of sleep vanished from his face: “You—you used them for that? How could you—how could you be so…”
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