Chapter 159: The Feelings of Parting
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The girl’s tears were like fragile dewdrops, sliding down, momentarily scalding hot.
Thinking carefully, this was the first time Xiao Jue had seen He Yan shed tears.
He was momentarily stunned, pondering in his heart. After all, she was a girl, and despite her toughness in everyday life, the scene of her first time on the battlefield, with blood and flesh flying around, was still somewhat terrifying. However, when she fought against Ridamuzi last time, her reaction didn’t seem as intense as it was now.
After thinking it over, Xiao Jue finally relaxed and consoled her with a softer tone, “It’s okay now, stop crying.”
He glanced around, and the Wutuo soldiers were either dead or dying, and the reinforcements sent by Cui Yuezhi had arrived. There was no need to worry about the situation any longer.
“Commander!” Fei Nu rushed over and looked at He Yan, also taken aback.
Xiao Jue feeling a headache coming on. “How long are you going to stand here and cry?”
He Yan quickly wiped away her tears, realizing that she had lost her composure earlier. Even though the situation was under control now, it wasn’t the time to mourn. She turned around and said, “Ah, the sand got into my eyes earlier. It’s fine now. Let’s wrap things up!”
Her voice still carried traces of unshed tears, and her excuse was so feeble that it felt like a cover-up. Xiao Jue couldn’t be bothered to expose her, and as she turned around to pick up her blade and return, he suddenly grabbed her arm.
“What’s wrong?” He Yan turned around, bewildered.
Xiao Jue didn’t say anything, he just looked behind her. Following his gaze, He Yan saw a few drops of blood slowly trickling down from her waist, disappearing into the river, leaving only a faint bloodstain.
She froze and reached behind to touch the area. The sensation of pain that had been dulled by adrenaline seemed to return at this moment. Perhaps when she rushed into the Wutuo soldiers in her anger, she had been injured without realizing it. Later, in her haste to find Xiao Jue, she had failed to notice when she got hurt.
The heavy armor concealed her injury well, making it difficult to detect. He Yan felt the pain, but it wasn’t unbearable. She had experienced more painful injuries in the past, so she didn’t think much of it. She adjusted her armor and said nonchalantly, “I might have been cut. I’ll bandage it when we get back.”
“Right now, go find Lin Shuanghe,” Xiao Jue said, “You’re not needed here.”
The Wutuo people were defeated, Maka was dead, and the river was filled with thousands of burning ships. The remaining scattered Wutuo soldiers could be handled by Cui Yuezhi and the rest of the Jiyang City troops. However, He Yan didn’t have the habit to order her subordinates to act; and rest after a battle. She replied, “It’s not necessary. It’s just minor injuries.”
Xiao Jue’s expression turned even colder, and he frowned at her.
“I really don’t need to,” He Yan wanted to pull her arm free, but Xiao Jue’s grip was strong, and she couldn’t escape it for a moment.
The young man in dark armor lowered his gaze and looked at her, his posture upright. There was a hint of sharpness in his cool eyes, but his tone was still calm. “Don’t you feel pain? You don’t have a sense of pain? You don’t cry out when you’re hurt?”
He Yan sensed that he seemed a bit angry.
She instinctively replied, “I… I don’t feel pain.”
A faint trace of mockery flashed in the young man’s eyes as he calmly said to her, “Is it that you don’t feel pain, or you dare not feel it? Is it that you think it’s unnecessary, or you don’t need to?”
After saying this, he released her arm and turned away without looking back at He Yan.
“What a temper he has,” He Yan muttered softly to herself, standing in place for a while, “No one has ever taught me, and no one has ever comforted me either.”
She followed him.
…
The end of the war came much sooner than expected.
From entering the canal on the Wutuo people’s boats to the fire attack from the wind, to the cleanup of the remaining Wutuo soldiers, it took only two days. Not even three days.
Among these, there was the bravery of the Jiyang City’s troops and Xiao Jue’s clever command of the formation. Most importantly, there was the timely arrival of the east wind. If the wind had blown a bit later or been shorter in duration, the outcome might have been very different.
The east wind fanned the flames continuously, burying thousands of Wutuo soldiers’ boats together in the canal outside Jiyang City. Countless Jiyang City residents knelt down, facing the direction of the canal, tears streaming down their faces as they prayed, “Thank you, Water Goddess, for your protection. Thank you, General Fengyun, for your divine strategy. Thank you, Jiyang, and thank you, Great Wei, for your blessings.”
The morning sun painted the entire river’s surface, turning the blood-soaked water into a golden hue. It was impossible to tell whether it was the blood of fallen heroes or the light of the sunrise, a breathtaking and awe-inspiring sight.
On the riverbank, the remaining Jiyang City troops removed their armor, sat on the ground, and gazed in the direction of the sunrise. Their faces were stained with blood, but they exuded a sense of relief and liberation.
Jiyang City had been defended.
In the Cui Residence, He Yan sat on the couch, watching as Lin Shuanghe brewed medicine for her.
“Brother Lin, you can leave it to Cui Jiao here,” He Yan said, “You don’t have to trouble yourself.”
Lin Shuanghe sat by the stove, fanning himself with a fan. “The little girl doesn’t know anything. The medicine I’m making is different from what ordinary people prepare. I have to do it myself. He Yan, you, too, are clueless. You’ve got such a big wound on your body, and you didn’t even realize it. It’s no wonder Huaijin is so angry. If you had died here, people would have blamed themselves.”
“It’s not a big wound,” He Yan thought the man was being overly dramatic, “It’s just about the size of a palm, and it didn’t harm any vital organs.”
During actual combat, such injuries were considered minor. She remembered her most severe injury when she was shot in the shoulder with an arrow, but the battle had to continue. There were no medics around, so she had to pull the arrow out herself and fight the entire battle with the arrowhead still embedded in her skin. When the military doctor eventually examined her, the sleeve of her entire arm was stained red with blood, and the wound was stuck to her clothing, making it impossible to separate them.
As long as you could still walk and fight without a life-threatening injury, it was considered minor.
“Little Sister, when will you realize that you’re a girl?” Lin Shuanghe chuckled. “When I was treating other young ladies in Shuojing, sometimes they would be on the brink of despair over a birthmark the size of a fingernail. If you sent this wound to them, they would be amazed.”
He lifted the lid of the medicine pot and examined it. The medicine was bubbling and boiling in the pot, and Lin Shuanghe placed the lid back down, used a cloth to hold the pot’s handle, and set it on a nearby table.
“Never mind whether your life is at stake, or if you can endure pain exceptionally well. But don’t you care about your looks?” He took a clean medicine bowl from the side and poured the medicine from the jar into it. “Aren’t you afraid that your future husband might be repelled? Please don’t take offense, but for a girl, it’s quite normal to be concerned about these things.”
Leaning against the bed, He Yan watched his movements and smiled, “I don’t plan to get married.”
“Why?” Lin Shuanghe’s movements paused as he looked at her. “You’re young, healthy, with a straightforward and adorable personality, free from any complicated problems. Why don’t you plan to get married?”
“Marriage is boring,” He Yan sighed. “Living in the same house, walking around the same places all the time, it’s not as exciting as staying in the military camp.”
“Your thoughts are rather unique,” Lin Shuanghe remarked. “But when you meet someone you like in the future, you won’t think that way.”
“Even if I meet someone I like, I still won’t get married,” He Yan said.
Lin Shuanghe narrowed his eyes. “He Yan, do you already have someone in mind?”
“No.”
Despite her straightforward quick answer, Lin Shuanghe couldn’t help but feel a sense of doubt. He couldn’t understand why He Yan, a young woman who spent her days in the Liangzhou Garrison, would say something so disheartening. Based on his years of experience mingling with women, most of the time when a young woman uttered phrases like “I don’t want to get married,” it was likely because she had experienced a heartbreak.
He Yan had always been in the Liangzhou Garrison, wielding weapons every day. Where would she have encountered heartbreak?
His heart sank, and he began to wonder if she had fallen in love with Chu Zilan? Maybe she was aware of the complications arising from Chu Zilan’s identity and her relationship with Xu Weiting, making it impossible for her to be with Chu Zilan, leaving her heart desolate?
But what would happen to Xiao Jue in this scenario?
Lin Shuanghe, for a moment, began to think of various possibilities, and all of them seemed dire.
He Yan, noticing his absent-mindedness, asked, “Brother Lin, have you seen my master?”
From the beginning of the war to the end when everyone started cleaning up the remnants, He Yan had not seen Liu Buwang. Lin Shuanghe replied, “On the morning of that day, Master Liu left with Cui Zhongqi. Cui Zhongqi was busy attending to the wounded and hasn’t returned yet. I believe Master Liu is with him.”
He Yan nodded but couldn’t help feeling a bit uneasy.
Lin Shuanghe came over to He Yan and took out a small round box from his sleeve, placing it near her pillow. “This is our family’s secret scar-removing ointment. If you apply it on your wounds, it may not completely eliminate them, but it should help them fade significantly.”
He Yan’s injuries had already been treated by the female medics from Jiyang City. At this moment, when she heard this, she picked up the small box and saw the words “Scar-Removing and Tissue-Regenerating” on it, which seemed quite familiar. After thinking for a moment, she remembered that when she and Xiao Jue had gone to Liangzhou City and encountered Ding Yi in a nighttime battle, she had been injured. When they returned to the Liangzhou Garrison, Shen Muxue had brought her some medicine. In the medicine tray, there was also a box like this one. He Yan had used it, and it had indeed worked remarkably well, significantly reducing the visibility of her scars. She had been grateful for Shen Muxue’s thoughtfulness at the time and praised the miraculous effects of the ointment. Unfortunately, the box was quite small, and the ointment was quickly used up.
“Is this your family’s secret formula?” He Yan asked.
Lin Shuanghe nodded with a hint of pride, “To be precise, it’s my secret formula.”
“This must be quite expensive, right?”
“Little Sister He, how can you measure the value of medicine with money? I won’t sell this medicine. If I did, I’d be wealthy enough to live without worries for generations just from this. Money is like fleeting clouds to me. I prepared this medicine specifically for Huaijin. He often gets injured, and if Xiao Rubi sees his scars, they’ll feel distressed. I made some scar-removing ointment for him so that Xiao Rubi wouldn’t notice the scars.”
Was this to put his big brother’s mind at ease? He Yan thought to herself, and it seemed that Xiao Jue was quite cautious. But He Yan clearly remembered that it was Shen Muxue who had given it to her. He Yan asked Lin Shuanghe, “Have you ever made this medicine for anyone else? Like other young ladies?”
“What do you mean by that?” Lin Shuanghe asked, puzzled. “If this medicine were to be leaked, not only would I be in trouble, my father and grandfather would be hounded to death. I won’t tell anyone else. I only made it for Huaijin, and I didn’t make much, only a few boxes. I gave you one because of our good relationship. Don’t tell others about it, this medicine is laborious to make, and I want to live a few more years.”
He Yan responded, “….Alright.”
“Then take your time with the medicine, rest after you finish drinking it,” Lin Shuanghe said, contentedly fanning himself. “I’ll go out and see if there’s anything else I can help with in the mansion.”
Lin Shuanghe left, and He Yan looked at the medicine box in her hand. It was a delicate box, held gently in her palm.
Was this given to her by Xiao Jue?
…
The injured soldiers were settled, and the fallen warriors were carefully recorded in a ledger. The Jiyang City army was not numerous to begin with, and after this battle, they were even fewer in number.
Cui Yuezhi led his troops in clearing the battlefield. He had also sustained numerous injuries, his face covered in blood, and a gash on his head, hastily bandaged with white cloth.
When Cui Yuezhi spotted Xiao Jue approaching, he quickly went to meet him and greeted, “Commander Xiao.”
Xiao Jue was much younger than Cui Yuezhi, but Cui Yuezhi no longer dared to underestimate the young man in front of him. This time, if it weren’t for Xiao Jue, they would never have held Jiyang City against the 150,000 Wutuo troops. They had narrowly won this battle, and luck had played a part, but more than that, it was this talented commander, or, in He Yan’s words, this accomplished general. He made the unlikely possible and the impossible possible. Even in the worst situations, he could turn the tide.
Of course, that Miss He was quite formidable too. But they had heard that she had been injured and sent back to her mansion to rest.
“The battlefield has been cleared,” Cui Yuezhi said. “Once we’ve finished counting the casualties on the Wutuo side, we can return to the Royal Mansion and report the situation to Her Highness. Commander Xiao, your lifesaving grace to Jiyang City will never be forgotten by the people of Jiyang.”
Xiao Jue walked forward. “No need for thanks; they should thank themselves.”
Cui Yuezhi felt some sentimentality. They had fought side by side, so he had some genuine warmth toward Xiao Jue. He was about to say something when one of his subordinates approached.
The subordinate cast a hesitant glance at Xiao Jue before speaking, “Lord Zhongqi, we…we’ve found Mr. Liu.”
Ever since the battle ended, they had lost sight of Liu Buwang. Cui Zhongqi had been worried, but now, when he heard this, he asked urgently, “Where is he?”
“He’s on the bank of the Hulou Mouth, not far from here,” the subordinate replied. “Mr. Liu…”
Cui Yuezhi’s heart began to sink, and he looked at Xiao Jue. Xiao Jue lowered his gaze, and after a moment of silence, he calmly said, “Lead the way.”
Liu Buwang had died at the center of the battle formation.
He died a gruesome death, his body riddled with wounds. The most fatal wound was a knife wound on his chest, running through his heart. His lips were upturned before his death, devoid of any anger or resentment. It was as if he saw something incredibly beautiful, very peaceful.”
In addition to him, there were many Wutuo people who had fallen on the ground, victims of his sword. There were also bodies deep in the forest. Cui Yuezhi stared at the scene for a long time and hesitantly asked, “Qimen Dunjia?”
Xiao Jue replied, “Yes.”
Cui Yuezhi felt deep respect; there were few people today who could use Qimen Dunjia. Liu Buwang had set up this formation and killed many Wutuo people, buying them a significant amount of time. If it weren’t for Liu Buwang’s stalwart defense, they wouldn’t have been able to wait for the wind to arrive. Once the Wutuo people entered Hulou Mouth, they would have wreaked havoc on the city. The consequences would have been unimaginable.
Liu Buwang didn’t tell anyone that he had been holding on for so long, not even when he died.
His sword laid beside him, the zither was smashed, and his white clothes were soaked in blood.
Cui Yuezhi watched Xiao Jue with concern, thinking that Liu Buwang had been Xiao Jue’s martial arts master, and his death must be a blow to Xiao Jue.
Xiao Jue crouched down, slowly straightening Liu Buwang’s disheveled clothes, then pulled out a handkerchief from his pocket and wiped the blood from Liu Buwang’s face.
After doing all this, he looked at Liu Buwang’s face and whispered, “Take him back.”
…
He Yan stayed at Cui’s Mansion until evening.
Cui Yuezhi’s four Yiniangs took turns visiting her, bringing various delicacies to eat. Although He Yan loved sweets, she couldn’t eat any more with all these desserts piling up. After finally sending the Yiniangs away, someone came to report, “Master has returned! Commander has returned!”
He Yan perked up and hurriedly put on her shoes to go outside. Cui Yuezhi and Xiao Jue had returned, and perhaps Liu Buwang had returned as well. But as soon as Cui Yuezhi reached the door, he was surrounded by the four Yiniangs, especially San Yiniang, who was crying her heart out, making others feel their hearts ache.
She’s really good at crying.
As He Yan was thinking about this, she saw someone stepping past Cui Yuezhi and coming towards her. It was Xiao Jue. He hadn’t had a chance to take off his armor, but He Yan didn’t mind the dust on his face. She thought to herself that it seemed that exceptionally beautiful people still radiated their charm even when they were all dirty and disheveled.
Xiao Jue walked up to her and furrowed his brows slightly. “Who let you out?”
“It was nothing really big anyways,” He Yan replied, clapping her hands. “Even Lin Shuanghe thinks you’re making a big fuss over nothing. By the way, Commander, have you seen my master? I asked around, but no one has seen him. At this hour, he should have returned.”
Upon hearing this, Xiao Jue’s eyes shifted, falling on her face.
In his slightly cool black eyes, there passed a faint trace of pity and an almost inaudible sigh, touching people’s hearts.
He Yan’s smile slowly faded.
She asked, “Is something wrong?”
Xiao Jue said, “Go see him.”
He Yan froze completely.
Liu Buwang slept on the bed in the room, his clothes had been changed, and he looked as if he was just sleeping. It was as though if she called his name, he would sit up, smile at her, and say, “Ah He.”
He Yan’s eyes turned red.
She almost couldn’t stand and walked over to Liu Buwang, taking his hand.
His hand was very cold, not as warm as when he had pulled her out of the pile of dead bodies. He had slept lightly before, waking at the slightest movement, but now when she called him ‘Master,’ he remained unmoved.
He Yan’s hand touched his shoulder, and she hesitated. She gently pulled down the collar of Liu Buwang’s clothes. His clothes had been changed, but she hadn’t expected so many wounds. The Wutuo people had suffered a significant loss at Liu Buwang’s hands, and they naturally wanted to return the favor a hundredfold. When Liu Buwang was weak, they were eager to add more injuries to their loot.
His body was shattered, yet his expression was calm, as if he were just sleeping under a tree, having had a beautiful dream. He Yan’s gaze landed on Liu Buwang’s hand, which was tightly clenched into a fist. She slowly pried open his fingers and saw something hidden in his palm.
It was a silver bracelet, it looked roughly made, as if it were an old relic from many years ago. Perhaps it had been played with and treasured every day, as the engraving marks were almost indistinguishable. But you could still see a small wild chrysanthemum carved on the edge of the bracelet.
This was something that Liu Buwang wanted to protect even at the end of his life. He had no children and had only taken her as his disciple. At the end of his life, apart from a zither, a sword, and this silver bracelet, he hadn’t left anything behind.
Empty and clean.
He Yan’s throat choked, and she couldn’t say a word. They were reunited after a long separation, and before they had even had a few words together, they were separated forever. She struggled to hold back her tears, a handkerchief was placed in front of her.
“If you want to cry, then cry,” Xiao Jue said. “I’ll be outside, and no one will come in.”
His voice was very soft and light, with an almost imperceptible comfort. Without waiting for He Yan to speak, he turned and left.
The door was closed behind him, and from behind the door came the sound of a girl crying. At first, it was a stifled sob, but soon it became uncontrollable, and the crying got louder and louder. Finally, like a child who couldn’t get any candy, she burst into loud sobs.
The crying reached the ears of Wei Yiniang in the next room, and she stood up with some worry, wringing her handkerchief. “Maybe I should go check on them.”
“No,” Er Yiniang shook her head and looked out the window. A young man stood with his hands behind his back, guarding the precious fragile object. “At such a sad time, only the two of them can comfort each other.”
“Let them solve it themselves.”
The crying in the room stopped at some point. After a long time, the door opened with a creak, and someone walked out.
Xiao Jue turned to look.
The girl who came out had already wiped away her tears. Apart from her slightly red eyes, there was no sign of a problem. She looked calm, even intentionally relaxed.
“Commander, thank you for guarding the door for me,” she said.
Xiao Jue frowned as he looked at her.
He Yan looked back and said, “What did I do? Is there something dirty on my face?”
“Ugly.”
“What?”
“You look like you’re lying, and it’s ugly,” he said in a cold voice, with a hint of ice, and a deep understanding that made him sound like he knew everything. He said, “I’ve said before, if you want to cry, you can cry, and if you don’t want to smile, you don’t have to. It’s better than pretending to be the way you are now, it’s extremely ugly.”
It wasn’t a flattering comment.
He Yan was stunned for a moment, but then she smiled. She said, “I’m not pretending, it’s just… there’s nothing else I can do.”
Liu Buwang was dead, and that was an unchangeable fact. She could grieve and be sad for Liu Buwang, but she had to move forward. People can’t complain about their sorrows and sadness to everyone they meet; it will only make people dislike them. Some painful things should be kept in one’s heart. If you cry in front of others all the time, in the long run, others will become annoyed, and you won’t be able to move forward.
She used her experiences from two lifetimes to tell herself that no matter how difficult things were, they would pass.
However…
“Do you know,” she sighed, “in this world, there were never many people who were good to me. You could count them all with one hand.”
“Now, there’s one less.”
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Sad. She suffered through 2 losses. First Xiao June (but then relief that he was ok) and then her master, the only one who knew her last life
Many thanks