Rebirth of a Star General Chapter 204

Chapter 204: Perception

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He Yan is a girl, and the shock caused by the marriage granted by the emperor to Xiao Jue is not limited to this. In the capital city, the Shen family was unusually quiet today. 

Shen Muxue kneeled on the ground, bowing her head in silence. Eldest Young Master Shen and Madam Shen stood on the side. Madam Shen was full of worry and hesitated to speak. After a while, Eldest Young Master Shen spoke up and looked at Shen Yushi, who stood in the hall with his hands behind his back, with a soft consolation: “Little Sister was confused for a moment, father, don’t blame her too much.” 

“A moment of confusion?” Shen Yushi turned around, his gaze falling on Shen Muxue, and his eyes showed a mix of pity and anger as he said, “My Shen family has always been upright and straightforward. I never thought that I would raise a daughter who, I don’t know when, learned such underhanded means. She was confused for a moment, and she might cause harm to others unintentionally!” 

Shen Yushi was thin and elegant, and even though he was old now, one can still vaguely see a bit of his past grace. The pride and coldness between his brows and eyes were just like Shen Muxue’s, who was kneeling before him. He usually treated his son strictly, but he has been unusually lenient with his daughter. Today is the first time he had been angry with Shen Muxue. Even when Shen Muxue insisted on following Xiao Jue to the border, Shen Yushi was not as angry as he was today. 

“Don’t put all the blame on Muxue,” Madam Shen said, feeling sorry for her daughter. “That He Yan is originally a girl. Muxue just spoke the truth. If she hadn’t deceived the emperor first, how could her identity be exposed by others? Making a mistake should be punished, you shouldn’t blame Muxue too much. In fact, what she did is for the emperor’s sake. You can’t let a girl pretend to be a man and deceive everyone, right?” 

After saying this, Shen Yushi gave her a cold glance, and Madam Shen dared not speak anymore. Shen Yushi said, “Nonsense! You only see her disguised as a man to deceive the world, but why don’t you see that she led troops to deal with the Wutuo people? The Battle of Jiyang River, defending Rundu City… Do you think merits are easy to earn? If it weren’t for the merits of saving the people, how could the emperor easily promote her to the rank of Wuan Marquis? Moreover,” he stared at his daughter, “I heard that when she was in Liangzhou, there were spies infiltrating the garrison, you didn’t know the details, but it was He Yan who sent you away. Regardless of the outcome, she was helping you. Since childhood, I taught you to repay kindness like gushing springs. Even if others don’t take it to heart, you should remember it. I didn’t expect that this is how you remember it.” 

Shen Muxue lowered her head in silence. 

“I didn’t expect that,” Shen Yushi seemed to want to say everything in one breath, “not only do you want to be the villain who exposes her identity, but you also don’t dare to stand up openly. You have to hide behind Wang Rong. Do you know that by doing this, you are also harming Wang Rong!” 

Shen Muxue’s body trembled slightly. 

At the palace banquet, the stranger who revealed He Yan’s identity as a woman is named Wang Rong, who is also her childhood friend. They have known each other for a very long time. Wang Rong’s father is on good terms with Shen Yushi, and Shen Muxue knows that Wang Rong likes her. However, her heart was entirely devoted to Xiao Jue. 

She had considered personally coming forward to expose the truth, but in the end, she couldn’t bring herself to do it. She feared that He Yan might lose her life because of it. She never intended harm to He Yan, only hoping that He Yan would stay away from Xiao Jue. She was even more afraid of facing Xiao Jue’s disappointed and indifferent gaze. When Wang Rong came to the Shen family, he sensed Shen Muxue’s worries, inquired, and Shen Muxue couldn’t help but reveal her confusion and troubles. After hearing it all, Wang Rong remained silent, turned around, and left, saying, “Wait for me.”

Wait for what? He didn’t say. 

“I didn’t expect him to do this,” Shen Muxue weakly defended herself. 

Her father, Shen Yushi, stared at her with a sharp gaze, his voice like a knife that could dissect her, “Did you really not expect it?” 

Shen Muxue was speechless. 

Did she really not expect it? 

Wang Rong, this person, has liked her for many years and is willing to do anything for her. He is impulsive and disregards the consequences. When she told Wang Rong about this matter, did she not guess Wang Rong’s reaction? 

She just didn’t want to admit that she was such a despicable, mean villain. 

Eldest Young Master Shen saw that Shen Muxue’s body was shaking and finally softened his tone, saying, “Even if that’s the case, my sister knows she was wrong. Father also knows. My sister has been attached to Xiao Huaijin for many years. Suddenly there is another woman. How can my sister feel good? My sister has always not liked to complain to others about her grievances. It’s my fault as an elder brother that I didn’t think it through, which led to the present situation. If father wants to punish, then punish me together with my sister.”

“It’s not due to my elder brother; I made the mistake, and I should take responsibility for it myself.” Shen Muxue knelt upright. 

“You’ve liked Xiao Huaijin for so many years, do you not see there is no response from him?” Shen Yushi suddenly said. 

Shen Muxue looked at him. 

“Love never comes from being moved and changed.” Shen Yushi said quietly, “If you want to leave and go outside the city, follow him; although I don’t support it, I won’t object either. I know Xiao Huaijin won’t fall in love with you, but I always thought that as you leave the house, walk more roads, meet more people, your mind will naturally broaden, and gradually, you will let him go. Unexpectedly,” he sighed, “you are pushing yourself deeper into the abyss.” 

Shen Muxue pressed her lips and remained silent. 

Even her own father could see that Xiao Jue would not fall in love with her? She had never felt such failure before. 

This statement was too harsh, and Madam Shen couldn’t help but exclaim, “How can there be a father like you in the world! If Xiao Huaijin doesn’t appreciate Muxue, it’s his own lack of vision. I don’t like him either! A woman enters the military camp for no reason; I don’t understand what she did to save the people. All I know is that all the rules are broken. Xiao Huaijin would rather marry such a woman and not fear the laughter of the world!” 

Eldest Young Master Shen hesitated to speak, but this time, Shen Yushi ignored his wife’s retort. He just looked at Shen Muxue and said, “Where you’ve gone are no fewer places than He Yan, and the people you meet may not be more than He Yan, but your vision and ideals are far inferior to hers. I don’t doubt you as a father, but after tonight, the difference between you and her is apparent.” 

“You are not as good as her.” 

Tears welled up in Shen Muxue’s eyes. She had been strong all her life and didn’t want to shed tears in front of others. However, at this moment, she couldn’t suppress the grievances and indignation any longer, and tears flowed uncontrollably. 

Shen Yushi no longer looked at her and said calmly, “From today on, you are not allowed to go anywhere. Our Shen family does not resort to violence. If you make a mistake, you will be confined to the house for a year.” 

“Master!” 

Shen Yushi ignored his wife’s plea, swirled his sleeves, and left the hall. The night wind outside the courtyard was extremely cold, cutting like a knife. 

Eldest Young Master Shen caught up with him and walked beside Shen Yushi. “Father, isn’t one year too long?” 

Shen Yushi looked at the bluestone on the ground, smiling bitterly, “Xiao Huaijin is a protective person. Do you think he can’t find out about Muxue?”

“But….”

“But because of his father’s relationship, he won’t do anything to Muxue. However, in these years, the friendship between our family and the Xiao family ends here.” 

… 

Those shocked by this event were certainly not limited to these few people. In the Cheng family, relatives who learned about Xiao Jue’s marriage were all shocked and suspicious. The Emperor actually arranged a marriage for him. They were busy marveling at the marriage, not paying much attention to He Yan, knowing only that her family had no significant official position, much like Bai Rongwei. 

As for Cheng Lisu, more than the news of Xiao Jue’s marriage, he was clearly more surprised that He Yan was a woman. 

“How could my big brother… possibly be a woman?” The young boy paced back and forth in the room, unconsciously tugging at his clothes. “How is that possible!” 

After he returned to Shuojing City, he was thrown into school by the Cheng family. He could only return home for one day every month. On this day when he finally returned home, he was not only informed that Xiao Jue and He Yan had returned, but also received good news that the two of them were to be married by the Emperor. 

“My big brother…” He grabbed a servant and said, “can kill a tiger with one punch. How could he be a woman?” 

Oh heavens, was he crazy, or was everyone in the world crazy?

“No, I have to find Uncle!” Thinking of this, he opened the gate and walked out, determined to find Xiao Jue and get some answers. 

“No, Young Master, Master and Madam said you cannot leave the mansion… Hey, someone, Young Master wants to go out!” The servant behind hurriedly followed. 

… 

“Wuwuwuwu, they’re all liars—” 

In the Song family, Song Taotao was crying loudly. 

“How could my big brother He be a woman? It must be you guys lying!” The little girl’s eyes were swollen from crying. Madam Song and Master Song stood outside the door, looking at each other, both wearing helpless expressions. 

Since returning from Shuojing City, Song Taotao had changed her usual behavior, becoming more obedient and diligent, practicing music, chess, calligraphy, and painting every day at home. Madam Song suspected that she might have fallen for someone, and often worried about what to do if she did have feelings for someone, considering the Cheng family’s marriage arrangement. They were aware of Song Taotao’s temperament, and in the past, she didn’t know what it felt like to like someone. But now that Cheng Lisu was such an energetic young man, they thought that if they spent more time together, their feelings would naturally develop. However, if there was someone else in her heart, the marriage might turn into a grudge. 

Madam Song had also indirectly asked Song Taotao about the identity of the person she liked, but she had always been evasive. The clever girl knew that with He Yan’s current low status, even if she told her parents, they would not approve. So, she thought it would be better to wait. With the boy’s abilities, it was likely he would be appointed to a high-ranking official position sooner or later. Before that, there was no need to tell others. She could just catch him as her man. 

It wasn’t until tonight, when news of Xiao Jue’s marriage reached them, that Song Taotao protested by going on a hunger strike, crying and causing a scene. When she was so heartbroken that she wanted to hang herself, Master and Madam Song finally understood that their daughter’s beloved person was Xiao Jue’s fiancée. 

The couple found themselves in a rather awkward situation. 

“Taotao, stop crying. Since she’s a woman, crying won’t help. Quickly wipe away your tears; your eyes are swollen like walnuts…” 

“That’s right. Anyway, since Young Master Cheng’s uncle is Commander Xiao, if you like that Miss He in the future, after you marry Young Master Cheng, you can often visit Commander Xiao’s house. Wouldn’t you be able to see Miss He frequently?” 

Without listening, as soon as she heard that, Song Taotao became even more sorrowful. “Who wants to visit Commander Xiao’s house? She deceived my feelings. I never want to see her again. Wuwuwuwu…” 

… 

On one side, there was chaos and disorder, with people in a state of confusion and mixed emotions. On the other side, there were those who found everything amusing, while some felt like mourners in a funeral procession, anxious and uneasy. Upon returning to the residence, everyone seemed like a shadow. 

Xu Zhiheng couldn’t sleep. 

After returning to the mansion, he informed He Xinying that there were many official documents to handle today and decided to sleep in the study. He advised He Xinying to retire early and then locked himself in the study. 

In the middle of the night, He Xinying got up to use the restroom and, thinking of Xu Zhiheng, found a thicker mattress from the cupboard. As the weather was getting colder, Xu Zhiheng was sleeping in the study, which was not as warm as their bedroom. Concerned that he might catch a cold, she brought the mattress to the study. However, upon reaching the study, she discovered that the room was brightly lit, yet there was no sign of Xu Zhiheng. 

He Xinying sat on the chair in the study for a while, thinking that Xu Zhiheng might come back in a while. However, after a quarter of an hour passed, there was still no movement. She hesitated, feeling both worried and suspicious. It was too long even if he went to the Gongfu room. Could something have happened? Last year in Shuojing, there was a family where someone got up in the middle of the night to use the restroom. The ground was frosty, and in the darkness, without proper lighting, they couldn’t see clearly. They slipped and fell, and by the time the servants found them the next day, the person was already gone. 

She worried that Xu Zhiheng might have fallen somewhere, but she didn’t dare to alarm others. So, she placed a cushion in the study and took a lantern to search around. She didn’t find Xu Zhiheng’s figure in their courtyard after a brief search, but she didn’t explore her in-laws’ yard. 

Is it possible that he went out of the mansion? 

He Xinying thought for a moment and, for some reason, with a sense of inexplicable guidance, she turned her gaze towards a courtyard adjacent to theirs—He Yan’s courtyard. 

This courtyard used to be where her sister, the short-lived Madame Xu, lived before. After He Yan’s death, the courtyard had been sealed, and the former servants inside were dispersed. However, He Xinying had heard a rumor that there weren’t many servants attending to He Yan, and sometimes those servants were also assigned to serve another concubine in the Xu family. 

He Xinying had mixed feelings about this rumor, but after all, she was a daughter of the He family. No matter how audacious the Xu family was, they probably wouldn’t dare to neglect her like this. Besides, that concubine, after entering the house, was nowhere to be seen. When asked, it was said that she had made a mistake and was expelled.

He Xinying was well aware that the Xu family might be doing this to prevent her, the new wife, from feeling uncomfortable. However, since they valued her so much, she assumed they would treat He Yan, her deceased sister-in-law, similarly. Over time, she began to forget about this matter, considering it just baseless gossip. 

Nevertheless, there were peculiar aspects regarding He Yan at times. For instance, this courtyard—people from the Xu family claimed that Xu Zhiheng cherished the memories of his late wife, so they kept the courtyard empty in her honor. However, He Xinying had never seen Xu Zhiheng visit this courtyard. 

Would someone longing for their deceased spouse not frequently visit the places they used to go or reminisce with old items? 

Perhaps Xu Zhiheng intentionally avoided it to prevent being overwhelmed by memories. He Xinying found a reason for Xu Zhiheng’s behavior. 

She used to harbor some jealousy towards He Yan, but now, even that had faded away. Engaging in a competition with a deceased person was meaningless, especially since, no matter how she convinced herself, He Xinying didn’t feel any threat from He Yan. 

In other words, she did not sense Xu Zhiheng’s profound and heartfelt love for He Yan.

As the lantern emitted a faint glow, the wind outside dispelled her drowsiness. She looked at the dark and empty courtyard, contemplated for a moment, and involuntarily moved her steps towards that place. 

She had only been to this courtyard once, shortly after marrying into the Xu family. However, when she attempted to enter the room, a maid appeared and whispered, “Madam, the young master forbids others from entering this courtyard.” 

At that time, being a new bride, He Xinying didn’t want to argue with Xu Zhiheng, so she retreated. As time passed, she didn’t think about it again. Tonight, for some unknown reason, she inexplicably wanted to take a look. He Yan had recuperated at the estate and quickly married after returning to the He family. They had spent little time together, and now, He Xinying could barely recall He Yan’s appearance. 

However, maybe she could catch a glimpse of the place where He Yan once lived, revealing traces of her blood relative’s past. 

Unconsciously, she had already entered the courtyard. The coldness remained, making it feel like winter, whether it was summer or fall. The servants had cleaned the ground thoroughly, but they couldn’t erase the air of antiquity and decay. 

Slowly approaching the door, just as she was about to push it open, she suddenly paused—there was a sound inside. 

She felt nervous at first, fearing there might be a thief. But upon listening more closely, she thought a thief wouldn’t be so bold. Holding the lantern, she quietly approached the bed and peeked through the window paper’s gap. 

A lamp was lit inside the room, and she saw Xu Zhiheng. 

A Xu Zhiheng entirely different from his usual self. 

He was still wearing the clothes he wore when he went to the palace today. Normally meticulous, he would bathe and change clothes upon returning home, but not today. He sat at the large table in the room, frantically pulling open drawers, searching for something. 

His movements were rough, devoid of the usual refined and gentle demeanor. From this angle, it seemed as if he had become a complete madman. 

He Xinying’s heart skipped a beat, and a chill ran down her spine from head to toe. Looking at her unfamiliar husband, an inexplicable sense of fear welled up within her.

In a moment of panic, she accidentally stepped on a stone, producing a loud “clang” as it slipped down the courtyard steps, making a noise. 

“Who?” At the same time, Xu Zhiheng inside the room raised his head. 

He quickly opened the door and rushed out, shouting, “Who’s there?” 

He Xinying was startled. 

For a brief moment, she considered fleeing, fearing that Xu Zhiheng would turn into a malevolent ghost and come after her life. However, she forced a smile and stepped forward, saying, “It’s me.” 

Xu Zhiheng squinted at the figure in front of him. After a moment, the darkness and tension in his eyes gradually faded, replaced by a forced smile. However, this smile seemed stiff and perfunctory. His tone was slightly anxious, “Xinying, why are you here?” 

“I was worried that my husband might be cold at night, so I brought a cushion to the study to find you, but you weren’t there. Concerned that you might have fallen in the dark, I took the lantern and searched around,” she said. Seeing Xu Zhiheng’s nervous expression, she smiled and continued, “I just tried my luck and didn’t expect to find my husband here. Are you missing my sister, my husband?” 

Xu Zhiheng was momentarily stunned, then nodded, “…Yes.” 

He Xinying sighed, expressing sadness, “It’s good that my husband is loyal, but sometimes, you must also think about your own well-being.” 

Xu Zhiheng absentmindedly closed the door, avoiding He Xinying’s gaze. He took He Xinying’s hand and led her outside, saying, “Forget it, it’s cold outside. Don’t catch a cold. Go back.” 

His hand felt as lifeless as ice. 

He Xinying obediently responded, “Husband, as I mentioned before, I wanted to go to the mountain to pray to the Buddha during the Mid-Autumn Festival. These days, my mother finally has some free time. I plan to go the day after tomorrow. I’ll also pray for my sister in the heavens. How about it?” 

Xu Zhiheng’s expression stiffened for a moment, then he agreed, “…Sure.” 

“Do you want to come with me, husband?” He Xinying asked. 

“I won’t go,” Xu Zhiheng replied. “I’ve been busy these days and may not be able to accompany you up the mountain.” 

He Xinying, hearing this, didn’t get upset. She smiled and said, “It’s okay. I’ll count my husband’s share and offer the prayers to the Buddha. My husband is busy with state affairs, and the Buddha won’t blame you.” 

She was clever and knew how to say pleasing words. Despite her somewhat simple-minded nature, she was a woman with a bit of cleverness. Xu Zhiheng appreciated this aspect of her, finding it much easier to act in front of He Xinying than in front of He Yan. 

Gradually, his heart relaxed. The fear born from the familiar name he heard at the celebration banquet tonight and the dissolution of the tension between the two helped ease his mind. 

He Yan was already dead and wouldn’t come back. So, the person still alive was just pretending to be something they weren’t. 

He and He Rufei would thoroughly investigate the details of that pretentious person. 

The lantern emitted dim light in the night, and he didn’t notice the woman beside him hiding her ambiguous emotions behind a meek voice. 

He Xinying felt as if she had never truly understood this husband of hers. The Xu Zhiheng she glimpsed through the window just now seemed wild, obsessive, anxious, and ruthless. It made her wonder if that version of Xu Zhiheng, from that moment, was the real him. She couldn’t help but doubt whether the refined, considerate, seemingly flawless man standing before her now was truly Xu Zhiheng. 

Had her sister, He Yan, ever witnessed this side of Xu Zhiheng? He Yan was delicate and had always been in poor health. If Xu Zhiheng had unintentionally revealed this side in front of He Yan, could it have terrified her sister? 

But He Yan was already dead, and she couldn’t ask a deceased person. 

He Xinying suddenly felt that the seemingly gentle and radiant Xu family might be hiding many secrets from her. 

A dreadful thought emerged in her mind. 

Did He Yan truly accidentally drown?

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