Shoutout to Alinaza for the commission!
Zhang Yue was discharged four days later. Her left leg was still in a cast, and it would take at least another month before it could be removed; she needed crutches even to walk.
Different from the day she woke up, her emotions these past few days were very calm. It was as if the person had suddenly settled down, her feet finally having weight that could grip the ground.
The first time Jiang Se saw her at the qipao shop, she was like a flower about to wither, eyes empty, like a walking corpse.
Now compared to then, it was somewhat different.
Jiang Se actually understood that feeling, that was when a person’s heart had an anchor.
An internal anchor that allowed someone, in days of panic and hopelessness, to plant their feet firmly and grow roots; no longer like a rootless flower drifting in the air, never knowing when it would land, or where.
“I look like this so I won’t pretend to play hostess; you sit here.” Zhang Yue smoothed the hair beside her cheek and pointed toward the kitchen, saying, “The fridge is in the kitchen, there’s bottled water inside, and also a kettle. Help yourself. I’m going into the room to get something.”
Jiang Se nodded lightly: “Then I won’t be polite.”
She finished speaking and went into the kitchen, taking a bottle of mineral water from the fridge and pouring it into the kettle to heat.
The heater wasn’t on in the house. She was wearing a pearly-white coat, standing in the winter afternoon light like an iris in an oil painting.
The only oil painting Zhang Yue remembered back then.
She had left to work right after finishing high school. When she was younger, all she thought about was saving money to return to Tongcheng to take back the qipao shop her mother once ran. Life was extremely monotonous and impoverished. Forget paintings, she hardly read books.
The oil painting of the irises was shown to her by Zhao Zhicheng. Pointing at the irises, he said to her: “Every flower here is struggling to grow upward, isn’t it beautiful? I heard others say this painting represents hope for life. Zhang Yue, you are this one.”
He pointed at the only white iris in the painting and smiled: “This one is the most unique.”
At that time she was disgusted with herself, feeling dirty, thinking every day about which way of dying would hurt least.
That white iris Zhao Zhicheng pointed at stood out in the sea of blue and violet, so pure and clean that it was like stabbing a knife straight into her chest.
She tore that brightly colored painting to shreds, dug at the back of her own hand with force, crying bitterly as she said: “If you really think I’m like this flower, then go kill them for me. Then I’ll be as clean as this flower!”
The sound of boiling water came from the kitchen, pulling Zhang Yue back from her memories.
Jiang Se came out with two cups of water. Seeing her standing there on crutches, dazed, she asked: “Are you uncomfortable somewhere?”
Zhang Yue shook her head and gave a faint smile without much emotion: “What I said just now was courtesy. I thought you wouldn’t touch anything here.”
Jiang Se was not the same as her; they were not people from the same world.
Everything she used here was the cheapest, even the water in the fridge was stock she had hoarded from supermarket clearance, buy-one-get-one-near-expiry foods. They were already expired. She thought someone as precious and refined as Jiang Se would never touch them.
Jiang Se set down one of the disposable water cups in her hand, and said with a smile: “In those three days when I was kidnapped, I didn’t dare drink a drop of water. The day I happened to be rescued, it was raining. My throat was burning with thirst, so I opened my mouth and drank a mouthful of rainwater.”
At that time her eyes were covered and her hands tied. If she wanted water, she had to let those people feed her. She would rather not drink a single drop than let them touch her, and she didn’t want to drink or eat anything that would force her to use the bathroom.
Even with her eyes covered, she could sense the way those two looked at her.
Her skirt was still on her body, yet she felt every moment like they were stripping her clothes off.
Jiang Se took a sip of water from the cup and said: “Isn’t this much tastier than rainwater? What’s there to drink or not drink, Boss Zhang, I’m no different from you.”
Zhang Yue looked at Jiang Se, not knowing how to respond. She didn’t understand how Jiang Se could speak of her experience in such a light tone.
It was obviously something so painful.
After a long moment, she said to Jiang Se: “There are tea bags next to the kettle, not expired. If you want tea, go take one.”
She finished speaking and hobbled into the room on her crutches.
Fifteen minutes later, she came out of the room. Her hand that wasn’t supporting her on the crutch held a big carton pressed to her hip.
Jiang Se got up wanting to help. Zhang Yue shook her head and said: “No need to come over, I can do it myself.”
Jiang Se looked at her and slowly sat back down.
Zhang Yue bent sideways and placed the carton beside Jiang Se. “This is Ah Cheng, Zhao Zhicheng’s things that he left with me.”
She placed her crutch on the sofa armrest and sat down on the other side of the carton, continuing: “He used to be called Zhao Cheng, and we all called him Ah Cheng, but perhaps that wasn’t even his real name.”
The carton held all sorts of things, and it was clear the owner cherished them; every item was well kept.
The ticket stub from the first movie they watched, the delivery slip of the first milk tea he brought her that winter, a book about qipaos, an encyclopedia on birds, a color-printed painting, and many small gifts.
“He didn’t leave much behind, just some of my memories with him.” Zhang Yue looked softly at the carton, slowly sinking into her memories. “Both of us worked at a garment factory in Rongcheng. He was a security guard, and I worked inside making clothing patterns. I was only eighteen when I started, timid and not fond of talking to people. One time, our team leader at the factory harassed me, and Ah Cheng happened to see it. He stepped in for me.”
She smiled when she said this: “You don’t know, Ah Cheng looked ordinary, but when he got fierce he really had killing intent. Just a slight straightening of his face and the team leader ran away scared.”
Jiang Se smiled but didn’t respond.
Zhang Yue didn’t need her to respond. For these eight years she had carried a secret while living like a walking corpse, waiting hopelessly, her heart like an iron ball tied to it, sinking a little bit every day. She didn’t know which day it would sink to the bottom.
Thinking back on her past with Ah Cheng actually eased her a little.
“Although I was very grateful to him, we didn’t become close because of that, not until I went to that foreign trade company that worked with the factory.” Zhang Yue lowered her eyes and took a sip of water. “I wanted to earn more money and return to Tongcheng sooner. I heard foreign trade companies paid high commission and were easier, so I went.”
She stopped here, her fingers around the paper cup gradually turning pale.
Jiang Se looked at her: “If you don’t want to talk about this part—”
“It’s alright, I can say it.” Zhang Yue lifted her head, pressed her lips together, and said, “The person who brought me in was a fellow townsman. They said the boss there was a good man and didn’t discriminate against outsiders. That boss was old enough to be my father. At first, I really thought he was a good man, until one day he put his hand on my waist and asked me if I’d be with him. That was when I went to find Ah Cheng and asked him to pretend to be my boyfriend.”
Zhao Zhicheng had helped her before, and unlike other men he never pestered her. She always had an inexplicable trust toward him.
Zhao Zhicheng agreed readily and began picking her up and dropping her off every day.
“I had already planned to quit after that month, because I made a big deal that month and I couldn’t bear to lose that commission.”
It was precisely in the last few days of that month that something happened.
That fellow townsman handed her a cup of water, and then she lost her memory. When she woke up, she was already in the fabric storeroom.
“I thought about going to the police, but they had photos of me. Later Ah Cheng got all those photos back.”
Zhang Yue took another sip of water, moistening her dry, hoarse throat, and said: “Miss Jiang, how did you know it was Ah Cheng who killed them? After we escaped from Rongcheng to Jiangcheng, we stayed there for almost two years and were always living in peace. I thought no one would trace anything back to Ah Cheng.”
Jiang Se thought of that half-burned, leftover footless bird handkerchief.
Zhao Zhicheng used a fake name even in front of the woman he loved. His past was almost a blank, like a drop of water falling into the sea, almost impossible to trace even the smallest hint.
The only bit of trace left was that handkerchief that hadn’t been completely burned.
Five years ago Jiang Se hired a detective, starting with this handkerchief to find its original owner. It took five years to find Zhang Yue. Afraid of finding the wrong person, she had someone look into Zhang Yue’s past.
Unlike Zhao Zhicheng, Zhang Yue’s past, except for those two years in Jiangcheng, was too easy to investigate. One incident after another, clear like dates pinned to a wall calendar.
“When Zhao Zhicheng killed the other two kidnappers, he once used a handkerchief to wipe the blood from my face. I found you through that handkerchief.”
“Handkerchief?” Zhang Yue murmured, “So it was that handkerchief. No wonder when you came to ‘Zhang Xiu’ the first thing you mentioned was the footless bird. I once watched a movie with Ah Cheng. There was a line in it saying that in this world there’s a kind of bird with no feet, it can only keep flying and flying, and when it’s tired, it sleeps in the wind. This kind of bird can only land once in its life, and that is when it dies. After watching the movie, Ah Cheng smiled and told me that perhaps we were also that kind of bird, and No. 38 Jinxiu Alley would be our final landing place.”
“You like embroidering birds and flowers on qipaos, and every bird’s stitching has your personal mark on it.” Jiang Se told Zhang Yue the truth. “After finding you, I had someone look into you. You weren’t the only one harmed by that boss. Almost all the girls who jumped from the garment factory to the foreign-trade company were assaulted by him, but you were the only one who reported it to the police.”
Those girls, like Zhang Yue, were all timid, had low defenses, came from poor families, and were all from out of town.
That boss specifically targeted people like that: people who, even when bullied, didn’t dare make a sound.
It wasn’t until after that man was killed that someone let out a bit of information.
Although there was no clear evidence, Jiang Se had a strong intuition that the one who killed him was Zhao Zhicheng.
And it was precisely because of what had happened to Zhang Yue that he stopped those people from assaulting her and apologized to her.
Zhang Yue pressed her lips together, mocking herself: “Even though I reported it, in the end I still didn’t say anything.”
She had only been nineteen at the time. She couldn’t bear the consequences of her photos being made public.
“Later I was in too much pain, and Ah Cheng really did kill them for me.” Zhang Yue lowered her eyes. “Back then I thought he was only saying it, until one day he suddenly came to me and asked if I was willing to run away with him. That was when I knew he had really gone to end my nightmare. Speaking of this—”
Zhang Yue suddenly remembered something, licked the corner of her lips, and said: “Before he went to kill them, he said he was going to find someone to help him.”
Jiang Se’s gaze paused. “Who?”
“I don’t know. I didn’t ask, and Ah Cheng didn’t say. My mental state back then wasn’t good and not very stable.”
“Have you seen any of his friends?”
“No.” Zhang Yue shook her head. “Ah Cheng was like me, didn’t like talking and didn’t like socializing. I never saw him close to anyone. He actually rarely talked to me about his matters, and I didn’t care. When we were in Jiangcheng, he worked on a construction site, and I opened an online shop selling clothes. Life was very peaceful, very peaceful. At the time, I even felt like I was almost healed.”
Zhang Yue pressed a hand to her chest. “I was almost healed here, but then he suddenly brought back a large sum of money and told me to come to Tongcheng to buy the shop I’d always wanted to get back. He said he was going to do something, and once it was done, he would come find me at No. 38, Jinxiu Alley. I actually knew that what he was going to do definitely wasn’t something good, because when he left, he kept telling me that if anyone came looking for him in the future, I must say I didn’t know him.”
She never forgot that day.
Zhao Zhicheng came back under the cover of night and left before dawn. Before leaving, he lightly kissed her on the forehead. That was the only time he had ever crossed the line. They lived together every day, slept together every day, but he never touched her. He knew the wounds in her body hadn’t healed yet.
Her eye sockets heated just like that. Zhang Yue raised a hand to wipe her eyes. “Miss Jiang, let’s stop here for today. If you have anything else to ask, come find me again in a couple of days. Take this box with you.”
Jiang Se handed her a tissue and nodded slightly. “Don’t worry, I won’t damage what’s in the box. I’ll return it to you.”
Zhang Yue smiled through her tears, her voice carrying a bit of indifference. “Okay.”
Jiang Se looked at her and said, “Have a good rest.”
She picked up the cardboard box and walked toward the entryway. Just as her hand touched the doorknob, Zhang Yue suddenly called out: “Miss Jiang.”
Jiang Se turned back. “What is it?”
“How did you do it?” Zhang Yue looked at her. “How can you be like you are now?”
How could she be so fearless, so brave?
Those past events, Zhang Yue felt pain just brushing against them. All she wanted was to avoid them, to hide away. But Jiang Se wanted to go and personally seize that person.
Zhang Yue’s question came abruptly, with no beginning or end, but Jiang Se understood. She smiled a little and said lightly: “We’re not just victims, we’re survivors. Do you know what a survivor is, Boss Zhang?”
“A survivor is someone who walks out of the storm.”
“You and I both are. We’ve already walked out.”
—
After leaving Zhang Yue’s home, Jiang Se went straight back to her apartment and put the things away. She was just about to head to Liyuan Street to eat when her phone happened to ring.
Seeing the name on the screen, Jiang Se’s ears echoed with the words that man had whispered to her that night.
“Do you feel it, Sese? Our hearts are beating so fast because of each other.”
He was clearly breaking the rules then. With his hand kneading her like that, how could her heartbeat not speed up?
That night they kissed in the living room for a long time, but it was only kissing.
Jiang Se answered Lu Huaiyan’s call while slowly tying her scarf, getting ready to go out: “I’m just about to go have dinner at my parents’.”
Lu Huaiyan gave a soft “mm”: “See me after you finish eating?”
Jiang Se locked the door with her keys and said: “My period came.”
The other side paused. “When did it start? Yesterday or today?”
“Yesterday,” Jiang Se said.
As soon as she said this, Lu Huaiyan let out a laugh with an unclear meaning: “So the reason you didn’t come find me these two days is because you couldn’t sleep with me? What, if you can’t sleep with me then there’s no point in meeting, is that it?”
The man spoke lazily, his voice carrying a smile.
Jiang Se was walking down the stairs. Hearing this, her steps slowed slightly.
They really hadn’t seen each other the past couple of days. He was busy, and so was she. Zhang Yue’s incident follow-up was basically handled by her. Yesterday, that man was dragged by the police to the hospital to apologize to Zhang Yue and obediently paid compensation.
Today she had to handle Zhang Yue’s discharge paperwork, so naturally she hadn’t had time to find him all day.
Two days before her period started, she had indeed been staying at his place every night and had indeed been sleeping with him. So hearing him say this now, she inexplicably felt there was a bit of truth to it.
Jiang Se blinked and said: “Weren’t you very busy these two days?”
Lu Huaiyan laughed again, too lazy to expose how insincere her tone sounded right now. “I’m leaving Tongcheng for a few days tomorrow. We must meet tonight. When will you finish dinner? I’ll come find you.”
Jiang Se glanced at her wristwatch and said: “I’ll go find you, around eight.”
Running a bar was actually a very tiring line of work. Every time she returned to Liyuan Street to eat, Yu Shiying and Jiang Chuan ate dinner with her, then had to hurry back to the bar and work until late at night.
Today, Yu Shiying had probably given advance notice, and Jiang Chuan had simmered a pot of medicinal soup for her.
The medicinal smell in the soup was strong, she could smell it from far away.
Jiang Se finished a full bowl of medicinal soup before leaving Liyuan Street and driving to Junyue. When she came out of the hotel elevator, she unexpectedly smelled a faint trace of Chinese medicine again, slight and hidden, mixed into the air.
When she pushed open the suite door, the scent of medicine instantly became stronger.
Lu Huaiyan came over to take her coat, lowered his eyes to look over her complexion. “Are you feeling unwell?”
“I’m fine.” Jiang Se said lightly. “You had someone prepare medicinal food?”
Lu Huaiyan gave a soft “mm”: “I knew you wouldn’t be able to eat much right now, so I kept it warm in the pot. Eat it before sleeping later.”
Usually, once Jiang Se had already eaten something, she wouldn’t have a second bowl, she would feel sick of it. But this time she didn’t refuse, only answered with a faint “mm.”
She had just taken off her scarf and was about to hang it up when Lu Huaiyan’s hand reached over, wrapped around her waist, lowered his head and pecked at the corner of her lips, asking: “Does kissing feel uncomfortable during your period?”
The man’s breath was right at her skin, very hot.
Jiang Se’s eyelashes paused. She said it didn’t.
Lu Huaiyan’s lips came down, kissing her while lifting her up and carrying her toward the sofa.
Jiang Se was wearing jeans, so sitting on his lap was uncomfortable. After one round of kissing, she was about to get down.
The man held her waist, laughing low: “Haven’t seen you for several days. Let me hold you a while longer, okay?”
Jiang Se’s movement paused. Her waist slowly softened, letting him hold her.
“How many days are you leaving for?”
“Four days,” Lu Huaiyan said. “Going to the UK.”
Jiang Se lifted her eyes slightly. She had thought he was returning to Beicheng.
She didn’t ask what he was going to the UK for, yet Lu Huaiyan offered an explanation on his own: “Going to meet with Guan Shaoting. A few of Lu Corporation’s projects in Europe need him to help make connections.”
The moment he mentioned that name, a fair and handsome face appeared automatically in Jiang Se’s mind.
“The second young master of the Guan family from Hong Kong City?”
“That’s him. We were classmates when we studied in the UK, and in university we even studied economic history together.”
“You have a good relationship with him?”
Lu Huaiyan smiled: “About the same as with your older brother and Guo Song. His grandmother lives in the UK long-term, so when I was studying there, I’d go to his grandmother’s house for Christmas almost every year.”
That was extremely close, considering he practically grew up wearing the same pair of pants as Cen Li and Guo Song.
After her coming-of-age ceremony, Jiang Se rarely paid attention to Lu Huaiyan’s affairs, so she didn’t know he had such ties with the Guan family.
The Guan family was a major clan in Hong Kong City, a banking family, with banks and other financial institutions all over the world.
The current chairman had three sons and one daughter. Jiang Se had met them a few times at social gatherings, just a nodding acquaintance, far from familiarity.
Guo Qian had more dealings with them than she did, and had more than once complained that Guo Song didn’t act like an older brother at all, unlike the Guan family’s brothers, each one was a doting, overprotective brother.
She casually mentioned something Guo Qian had said: “Qianqian said the Guan brothers are very protective of their sister.”
“They are quite protective.” Those few brothers were indeed much more competent than Cen Li and Guo Song when it came to being older brothers.
A faint smile floated in Lu Huaiyan’s eyes. “What, are you envious?”
He lowered his head and took her lips into his mouth, gently sucking once, saying: “Call me ‘Older Brother Huaiyan’ and I promise I’ll protect you better than any older brother in the world. How about it?”
