Shoutout to Alinaza for the commission!
“Sese, she never got better.”
When Cen Li spoke, Lu Huaiyan didn’t lift his eyes, always looking down at the wine in his glass.
Only after that sentence did he slowly open his eyes, staring at Cen Li.
“Seven years ago, after she was rescued, for a time she was very resistant to being touched, and was disgusted by certain smells and sounds. Even when I touched her, she felt sick. The doctors said it was a post-traumatic stress disorder from that kidnapping incident.” Cen Li looked at Lu Huaiyan. “I told you Sese once liked you. Do you know how I knew?”
Lu Huaiyan still said nothing.
Cen Li went on: “The photo you saw in the study, back then Sese stood between us, and she leaned toward you, her elbow touching yours without pulling away. The next day, she voluntarily said she wanted to visit Grandpa Lu’s place. That’s when I knew she liked you.”
From that day on, Jiang Se didn’t even see the doctor that Ji Yunyi arranged. It was as if she fully recovered.
Lu Huaiyan gave a light chuckle: “You think she liked me then?”
Cen Li nodded, “Sese liked you for two years.”
“That wasn’t liking,” Lu Huaiyan’s faint mocking smile disappeared. “She was just saving herself. She liked going to Grandpa’s place, liked the agarwood scent there, because when I carried her out that day, I carried that scent. And her ‘liking’ me then was only because I was the one who carried her out. She was building an illusory lighthouse, desperately and blindly trying to escape the pain at that time.”
Cen Li was momentarily stunned. “A lighthouse?”
Lu Huaiyan looked at him, expression calm but words sharp as a blade: “I really don’t understand why she preferred to take me, a stranger she barely touched, as her lighthouse, rather than turn to you ‘closest relatives.’”
The moment his words fell, Cen Li instantly remembered what his Little Aunt had told him—
“Because Sese has never forgiven you all, including you, Ah Li!”
“She’s angry at us,” Cen Li closed his eyes, “Back then… Sese was kidnapped for three days.”
Lu Huaiyan’s hand holding the wine glass stiffened.
Three days.
His jaw gradually tightened, and he asked word by word: “So you only went to grandfather two days after she went missing?”
At this point, he paused, then pulled the corner of his lips into a mocking smile: “You didn’t even call the police, why? Because it was a scandal that happened in the painting institute?”
Cen Li’s eyes snapped open: “Ah Yan!”
Lu Huaiyan scrutinized Cen Li’s expression. After a moment, he gave a knowing smile: “Looks like I guessed right. Even now you avoid talking about it, was that scandal related to your mother? And Jiang Se happened to witness it?”
Cen Li said nothing, his thin lips pressed into a straight line.
Lu Huaiyan slowly rotated the wine glass in his hand, his gaze growing colder: “Did you give up on her at the time, using the time that could have saved her life to deal with your mother’s scandal?”
“No! I didn’t give up on her. Ah Yan, I really wasn’t a good older brother, but I wasn’t deranged enough to know she’d been kidnapped and still not save her.” Cen Li’s throat tightened, “That afternoon my mother and her student were in the studio, she had turned off all the surveillance in the institute. Sese saw them and hurried out the back door. Not long after she left, that painter’s wife came to the institute.”
What followed was a tangled mess.
It wasn’t that he didn’t know his father and mother each had lovers, but Cen Li never expected that Ji Yunyi’s lover would be her student, nor did he expect that Sese and that man’s wife would go to the institute within minutes of each other that day.
The painter’s wife made a scene on the spot. Cen Li and Ji Yunyi were both busy dealing with the scandal. Only after returning to the Cen home did he find out Sese had never come back.
“Mother said Sese was throwing a tantrum at her and was deliberately not coming home. By then 24 hours had passed. Later, when we received Zhao Zhicheng’s call telling us to prepare the ransom, that was when I learned something had happened to Sese. I had already started looking for her by then, but you know, those days it was pouring nonstop.”
There was no surveillance, and with the thunderstorm, all traces had been washed away.
Cen Li searched tirelessly for a full day. As hour after hour passed, his father finally went to the Lu family to ask Grandfather Lu for help.
They thought Jiang Se was just acting out, so they missed the most crucial 24 hours for rescuing a hostage.
To avoid leaking the scandal at the institute, they chose not to call the police, and it wasn’t until nearly 48 hours had passed that they had no choice but to seek his grandfather.
Lu Huaiyan frowned as he looked at Cen Li, the eyes behind his glasses brimming with a cold, fierce hostility.
“Although she was held for three days, Sese wasn’t physically harmed. She saw a psychologist for a while afterwards, but her emotions were always very stable. I thought she had recovered, I truly thought she had.” Cen Li swallowed his dry, hoarse voice. “I never imagined she was still seeing a doctor, still needed medication, still wasn’t… well.”
Lu Huaiyan asked him, “Do you know what she went through during those days she was kidnapped?”
Cen Li shook his head: “Sese never talks about it. The only time she ever lost control was the day Zhao Zhicheng died. She once fought with Mother, saying there were still people involved in that kidnapping case who hadn’t been caught. Ah Yan—”
“Shut up.” Lu Huaiyan cut him off, his voice cold and hard as iron. “I know what you want to say, Cen Li, you have no right to say it.”
Cen Li opened his mouth: “Ah Yan.”
“Remember this, Cen Li, not all wounds can be seen. The ones you can’t see on her, you caused one of them.” Lu Huaiyan’s lashes lowered, casting two shadows beneath his eyes, his expression indifferent. “Don’t try to use me to lessen your guilt. You’d better live with it for the rest of your life.”
“Now, before my fist lands on your face, get out.”
—
The door opened then closed, and a flash of bright white light swept briefly across the dim card room.
The man’s silent features were illuminated for an instant.
In that instant, countless chaotic images flashed through Lu Huaiyan’s mind.
Behind the bar, when he asked her if she’d caused enough trouble, and the aggressive mockery in her eyes.
At the Cen family estate, when she gripped a long shard of glass and told him word by word: “I can walk out on my own.”
And that night, when she told him Zhao Zhicheng killed the two kidnappers because of Zhang Yue.
Because of Zhang Yue.
In that moment, Lu Huaiyan understood everything.
What she had gone through in those three days she was kidnapped; why Zhao Zhicheng had killed those two kidnappers; and why she would show mercy to Zhang Yue.
Someone like her would never show mercy to someone without a reason.
The ice in the alcohol glass slowly melted into water.
A weight like a boulder pressed against Lu Huaiyan’s chest, suffocating him.
As though unable to wait another second, he abruptly set down the wine glass and strode out of the room.
—
At 1 a.m., Jiang Se was still wandering along the Fuchun Riverside. When she pulled out her phone, she saw she had walked twenty thousand steps.
Twenty thousand…
Yu Shiying and Jiang Chuan seemed determined to make up for the twenty-three New Year’s Eves she’d missed, taking her around to almost every corner of the riverside, eating everything in sight. She even drank two cups of the salty milk tea from “Half-Day Leisure.”
The fireworks overhead were still exploding with “whoosh—boom,” and Jiang Se strolled with them for another half hour, even eating a skewer of candied strawberries Yu Shiying handed her.
When they returned to Liyuan Street it was already close to two. She wasn’t staying the night there, so she picked a few small kumquats to put in her pocket and went back to Xiangshu Alley.
It was noisy everywhere tonight; the streets were full of night owls roaming around unwilling to go home.
The moment Jiang Se stepped outside, the phone in her coat vibrated. She opened it to see a New Year’s message from Fu Yun.
For the past two years, he had always sent her one at this exact time.
As before, it was a very formal message, looking like it could have been sent to a group but the prefix clearly wrote “Sese.”
Jiang Se returned a WeChat message out of courtesy.
Fu Yun was now the only successor Old Master Fu had, so it was expected he would be just as busy tonight as Lu Huaiyan with endless social engagements.
After replying, she was about to slip her phone back into her pocket when the ringtone suddenly sounded.
Jiang Se lowered her eyes for a glance, then quickly picked up the phone and said, “I thought you’d be very busy right now.”
“I am pretty busy, drinking at the moment. Just happened to see your reply, so I found a moment to call you, consider it sobering up.”
Fu Yun’s voice, like the man himself, was very gentle; right now it carried a slight hoarseness, like a raspiness soaked in alcohol.
He laughed and asked her, “I had no choice but to come out drinking, why aren’t you asleep yet? When I saw your WeChat reply just now, I thought I’d read it wrong.”
Jiang Se gave a faint smile and said, “I was accompanying my parents along the riverside all night. I’m heading back to my apartment now.”
Fu Yun made a light “ah,” the ending tone rising a little, carrying a bit of delight.
“You seem to be adapting very well to life over there. I even ran into Sister Mingshu a few days ago, she said she’s going to Tongcheng to see you on the third day of the New Year.”
Cen Mingshu indeed had such plans. The faint cloud-like smile on Jiang Se’s face deepened a little. “My Little Aunt is thinking about the alcohol my parents brew.”
Fu Yun gave a gentle laugh. “Any alcohol Sister Mingshu thinks about must be very good. Someday I’ll come taste it.”
“Sure, I’ll treat you then.”
Their relationship, because of the past, was neither distant nor close. After exchanging a few polite words, Fu Yun said a courteous “Goodnight” and hung up.
After setting down the phone, the handsome man raised his hand and slowly took a sip of his drink.
It was a can of beer, its green metal body bearing only two simple characters: Jiatu.
The cheap alcohol slid down his throat; Fu Yun narrowed his eyes.
After all these years, he still only liked drinking this beer.
That old man had specifically hired someone to teach him alcohol tasting and appreciation; indeed, he’d drunk many expensive alcohol and learned plenty of alcohol-tasting skills.
At banquets, he could casually comment with a light air, and others would look at him with admiration, as though he were some refined young master with impeccable taste.
Fu Yun lowered his hand and gazed past the floor-to-ceiling windows at the falling snow outside. The icy condensation crept from the bottle to his fingertips.
The girl’s cool, clear voice still lingered in his ears; the snow before his eyes seemed to turn into the snow drifting across Shuangyue Lake that night.
On the wooden arch bridge, he lowered his head to kiss her, his lips brushed the warm corner of her lips and landed on her soft, slightly cool cheek.
Her long black hair swept past the tip of his nose, and he inhaled a faint citrus-scented wisp of fragrance into his lungs.
Sweet and cold.
Fu Yun raised his hand again and took a swig of the icy, low-quality beer.
The man was shirtless, with only a white bath towel wrapped around his waist.
Across his chest, abdomen, and lower back were several old scars; from top to bottom, they extended into the skin beneath the towel.
In the reflection of the floor-to-ceiling window, a pair of beautiful hands painted with bright red nail polish wound around his waist like vines.
Zhu Mingli rested her chin on his shoulder, breathing warm air by his ear as she said, “A knockoff like her is worth you making a special call?”
Fu Yun’s eyelids drooped halfway; his dark eyes slid coldly sideways to glance faintly at Zhu Mingli’s delicate face.
Switching the beer to his left hand, he slightly turned and grabbed her neck with his right hand, suddenly slamming her against the floor-to-ceiling window. Then he lowered his head to her ear: “Did I or did I not tell you not to provoke her again, hmm? The police have already started investigating that jar of candied fruit, why are you so disobedient, Mingming?”
The man’s voice was still as gentle as water, yet his tone was as icy as a venomous snake flicking its tongue.
Zhu Mingli loved seeing him like this. Even with her neck gripped, she showed no fear, smiling as she said, “What’s there to worry about? Butler Yu is your person, who could discover he switched the sugar?”
After speaking, she slipped her hand beneath the bath towel at Fu Yun’s waist. “Who told her to insist on coming back? A knockoff dares to show me attitude? And your father wants you to marry Cen Yu, why didn’t you refuse? You actually like some tacky thing from the boondocks? I’m angry, Fu Yun, I’m angry.”
Though the woman claimed she was angry, her voice was soft enough to drip water. With her movements, the snowy-white bath towel slipped from the man’s waist.
Fu Yun lightly ground his teeth, lowered his gaze to her, then quickly released his grip on her neck and quietly instructed, “Go spray some perfume.”
Zhu Mingli lifted her eyes to meet his cold gaze, pressed her lips together, and walked gracefully toward the bedside table. She picked up a pale-orange bottle of perfume and sprayed two pumps onto her neck.
When she came back, she carried a faint citrus-blossom scent.
Fu Yun leaned lazily against the window and said to Zhu Mingli, “My father is considering arranging a marriage between you and me. As for your brother, I’ve already made arrangements.”
He lifted his long fingers and brushed aside her brown-dyed waves, speaking gently: “Tomorrow, go dye your hair black and straighten it. For now—”
The man raised the beer, drinking as he looked down at her from above, and in his usual gentle voice commanded, “Open your mouth.”
—
When she was almost downstairs at her apartment building, Jiang Se received another call.
It was Guo Qian, calling all the way from Boston just to ask how her New Year’s Eve had been.
Jiang Se told her all about the things she’d seen during her twenty-thousand-step walk tonight. Guo Qian laughed nonstop.
“So Fuchun Street is that fun? Your family sounds really interesting. Too bad I’m not with you right now! Oh, right, Sese, I just heard from my brother that Lu Huaiyan and your brother seem to have gotten into some conflict.” Guo Qian’s tone was like she was talking about some wild rumor. “He even said it’s probably because of you, and asked me if I knew anything about you and Lu Huaiyan. I immediately told him impossible!”
Jiang Se took a kumquat from the paper bag, put it in her mouth, and chewed slowly, not responding.
Guo Qian waited a few seconds without hearing anything, her eyebrows shooting upward sharply. “Sese, why aren’t you talking? Don’t tell me something really happened between you and Lu Huaiyan?”
With Lu Huaiyan, she had never planned for anything to come of it, so she hadn’t told Guo Qian.
Hearing her ask this, she hadn’t intended to lie to her, so she answered honestly: “Sort of.”
As she spoke, she stepped onto the stairs of the apartment building and slowly walked up toward the sixth floor.
The motion-sensor lights in the stairwell had already been fixed; with her footsteps, they lit up one floor after another.
When they were almost at the sixth floor, Guo Qian finally realized what Jiang Se’s “sort of” meant.
She burst out with a “What the h*ll,” and began pressing her relentlessly: “When did this happen? Which one of you made a move on the other? You actually hid this from me until now?! And! You’d better be honest, have you slept with him or not?”
Jiang Se hadn’t brought her earbuds when she left the house, so she was holding the phone to her ear, talking directly with Guo Qian.
Guo Qian’s loud, excited voice echoed through the quiet stairwell.
Jiang Se stepped onto the sixth floor, and the motion-sensor light above her lit up. The thin light rose like water from a shallow tide, slowly flooding over the figure leaning against the door.
Whatever Jiang Se had been about to say got stuck when she saw that figure.
On the phone, Guo Qian kept pressing her: “Don’t think about brushing me off! Hurry up and tell me, have you slept with Lu Huaiyan or not?”
When the light first came on, Lu Huaiyan probably hadn’t heard clearly what Guo Qian said. His eyelids were half lowered as he leaned against the iron door, quietly watching Jiang Se.
Now he must have heard it clearly; his deep-set features gradually gathered a hint of amusement. He lifted a foot and walked to her side, then bent down and murmured by her other ear: “Why aren’t you answering her?”
Jiang Se slowly swallowed the kumquat in her mouth and said unhurriedly, “Qian Qian, something just came up. I’m hanging up.”
After she said that, she didn’t give Guo Qian the chance to call back and interrogate her, she simply turned off her phone.
