Song of the Bright Moon Chapter 10

The mourning music grew more distant. Treading on the scattered white paper offerings, Shen Yujiao pushed the cart like a walking corpse toward the city gates.

Ten days ago, when she had been abandoned in the woods, she still harbored a trace of luck, perhaps this had nothing to do with Madam Wang, but was the work of some other clansman.

But today, seeing with her own eyes this hurried yet grand funeral, that last trace of luck utterly vanished, 

Without Madam Wang’s consent, how could it be that in just ten days they were already so eager to declare the clan’s matriarch dead?

Could Madam Wang truly not recognize whether that coffin held Shen Yujiao or not?

No, she was feigning ignorance, simply wishing her truly “dead.”

Before, Shen Yujiao still thought of fleeing to Huainan to find Pei Xia. With his upright and impartial nature, once he knew she had been framed, surely he would speak for her and punish the evildoers.

But now, knowing for certain Madam Wang was the one behind it all, Shen Yujiao suddenly felt lost.

Should she really go to Pei Xia?

He was a gentleman indeed, but between filial piety and righteousness, would he defy the mother who bore and raised him, for the sake of a wife of only half a year?

Even if he truly did oppose Madam Wang for her, could husband and wife act as if nothing had happened, and still respect one another like honored guests?

This world is already harsh toward women. A wife despised by her mother-in-law, and one who caused her husband to go against his mother, what face would she have to remain the clan’s matriarch? How could she conduct herself among the Pei clan’s women thereafter?

Worries knotted together like tangled threads, making Shen Yujiao’s eyes sting, her nose ache, her whole being weary.

Yet, rope snaps at its thinnest strand, and misfortune hunts down the ill-fated.

While she was already bewildered and helpless, finally following the refugees to the Luoyang city gate, the gate guards stood with spears and proclaimed:

“The prefect has decreed, those not of Luoyang origin may not enter! Those entering the city to visit kin must have their kin inside the city personally come with a kin-visit permit issued by the ward chief! Those without kin, leave at once! Do not linger or gather at the gates. Violators shall be punished for disturbing public order, twenty strokes, and fined two taels of silver!”

At those words, the refugees from every county exploded in protest.

“If we can’t enter here, nor there, are we not subjects of Great Liang? You officials only know to close the gates and protect yourselves, treating us common folk like swine and grass, what law, what justice remains!”

“Exactly! If not for our homelands being flooded, how would we be forced from our roots, to seek life elsewhere?”

“Great sirs, we beg you, show some mercy, let us in! My father is sick, I must fetch medicine for him!”

“Yes, our whole family of five hasn’t eaten in two days! We beg you, let us in to buy some food, give us a way to live…”

The refugees huddled at the gate were all hunched and wasted, their faces yellow and gaunt, every one filled with pleading.

The gate soldiers were moved, but remembering their orders, they still gripped their spears and said coldly: “Orders cannot be disobeyed. Those with kin inside, register at the side and wait for your kin to claim you. Those without, leave quickly, do not gather here!”

Hearing this, the refugees looked at one another, unwilling to disperse.

One hot-tempered man, eyes bloodshot, rushed forward: “I’ll fight you lawless dogs!”

Before he got close, a spear pierced his thigh. He screamed and crashed to the ground.

The leading guard’s face was cold as he barked to the rest: “Any who break the order and force their way in, this will be their fate!”

“Father!”

“Dalang–!”

The big man’s family, a frail woman and two half-grown children, cried and threw themselves forward.

Watching the wife weeping and children wailing, Shen Yujiao was suddenly pulled back to early autumn last year, when the escorting soldiers had bullied her sister-in-law. She too had cried out helplessly, just like this.

In this world where the weak were meat for the strong, tears were the most useless thing.

Blinking her dry eyes, she asked Tao Dalang at the front of the cart: “Big brother, what do we do now?”

Tao Dalang’s face was also heavy with worry. Looking again at his elderly mother and pregnant wife on the cart, as the only man left in the family, he dared not risk forcing the gate.

“Young lad, do you have any kin or friends in Luoyang?” he asked.

Shen Yujiao froze a moment, then shook her head: “No.”

Kin inside the city? They were all vipers and jackals hoping for her death.

“Alas, you’ve no kin, and neither do we…” Tao Dalang looked up at the towering city gate of Luoyang, his weary eyes full of helplessness: “We can only keep fleeing, see which city is willing to grant us refugees a place to stay.”

Heaven had turned a blind eye, leaving them homeless.

That night, when they gathered with other refugees around a fire in the wild, Shen Yujiao watched Tao Dalang stroke Cuilan’s belly as the couple, making light of hardship, chatted about the baby to come. She could not help but think of her own brother and sister-in-law.

At the start of the year, a letter from Lingnan said her sister-in-law had given birth to a chubby son, named Wenjin, to pair with their daughter Wenyu, Jinyu, a matched pair.

Counting the months, the little nephew should now be half a year old. She wondered whether he resembled her brother more, or her sister-in-law.

And little Ah Yu, that crybaby niece, was she still wailing in the damp, far-off Lingnan?

And father and mother, how were they in health?

The family letters always said all was well, but Shen Yujiao knew their temperaments: they would only report joy, not worry.

Even with Pei Xia pulling strings for them, after all they were still convict-servants, how easy could life truly be?

Thinking of her family a thousand miles away, Shen Yujiao hugged her knees by the fire, her eyes reddening.

She missed home so much. She missed her father and mother, her elder brother and sister-in-law…

Suddenly, a flatcake wobbled before her eyes, golden in the firelight, looking especially crisp and fragrant.

Startled, she looked up and saw old Madam Tao’s wrinkled face glowing warmly in the firelight. “Child, are you homesick?”

Before she could answer, the old woman pushed the cake closer. “Eat.”

“Old Bodhisattva…” Shen Yujiao sniffled, her voice catching, “but I, I already ate two during the day. I shouldn’t eat more.”

“Tch, why fuss over such things?”

Seeing her honesty, Old Madam Tao chuckled: “Eat, eat. When the belly is full, the heart won’t feel so empty or so sad.”

Looking at the cake forced into her hand, Shen Yujiao’s heart swirled with mixed emotions.

Ten days ago, even when a dagger was pressed to her throat, she hadn’t shed a tear. Now, lowering her head, biting into the first mouthful of cake, a crystal tear slipped down uncontrollably.

“Oh dear, how can eating a flatcake make you cry?” Madam Tao quickly patted her shoulder. “Don’t cry, good child. Crying so late at night will bring the wolves.”

At the motherly tone, Shen Yujiao’s heart grew both warm and sore. Wiping her eyes with her sleeve, she choked out: “Don’t worry, Old Bodhisattva. I just… just think this flatcake is too delicious…”

Old Madam Tao looked at her face, though smeared with coal dust, the fine features still showed, and thought back to their first meeting. From her dress and embroidered shoes then, it was clear she was a young lady from a wealthy household.

Surely before being separated from her family, she was cherished and pampered, had tasted every delicacy. Yet now, eating a rough flour cake, she could cry from joy. Pitiful indeed.

“If you find it tasty, then finish it.” Old Madam Tao gazed at her with pity. “It’s fate that we met. Eating a few flatcake is no great matter.”

Holding back tears, Shen Yujiao smiled: “Thank you, Old Bodhisattva.”

The old woman beamed at the sweet address: “Such a honeyed tongue. I’d wager your elders doted on you dearly.”

Her words brought back memories of her grandparents, gone some years.

They had treasured her like a pearl. She still remembered as a child, her grandfather the Chancellor, stern and severe outside, all smiles at home, lifting her onto his back, laughing: “Come, let’s give our little Jiao’er a big horse ride!”

As the memory surfaced, Shen Yujiao’s eyes softened with warmth. She whispered: “Yes, my elders were all kind and affectionate. They doted on me greatly.”

Beside them, Cuilan asked curiously: “Little Yulang, do you have other relatives elsewhere?”

Shen Yujiao paused mid-bite.

Seeing this, Old Madam Tao and Tao Dalang both frowned at Cuilan: “Why ask that?”

Cuilan too realized it sounded as if she wanted to cast the boy off. She quickly flushed, waving her hands: “Don’t take it to heart, Little Yulang, I just asked casually, just casually…”

Shen Yujiao knew she could not cling to the Tao family forever. Besides, she still had kin in this world.

Clutching the cake, her gaze cleared, and she smiled lightly: “I have close family in Lingnan. I plan to go find them.”

She had figured it out. Rather than seek out Pei Xia and thrust him into the dilemma between filial piety and righteousness, better to forget the past. Let the woman who married into the Pei clan be truly dead.

With her life, she would repay all of Pei Xia’s kindness to her and her family. From then on, husband and wife would part, no debts left between them.

Having thought it through, her heart suddenly opened, as though clouds had parted to reveal the sun, no longer so dark and lost.

The Tao family were astonished: “Lingnan? That’s a place full of miasma and poisonous insects, and besides, it’s a thousand li away from here!”

“Even if it’s a thousand li away, my family is there, what is there to fear?”

Shen Yujiao gave the Tao family a broad, open smile: “If asked whether Lingnan is not good, I would say: ‘Where the heart finds peace, there is my home.’”

The Tao family were all commoners who couldn’t recognize a single character, so naturally they didn’t understand the verse. But when they saw the radiant light in her eyes as she spoke of her family, they could understand, after all, what could be more important than being reunited with one’s kin?

“Very well, then come south with us. If we manage to settle somewhere and have surplus, we’ll prepare some dry rations and clear water for you…”

Tao Dalang looked toward Shen Yujiao, his words filled with the concern of an elder brother for a younger sister: “After that, the rest of the road you’ll have to walk on your own!”

—

Five hundred li away, on the Huainan border.

The imperial army and the rebel Zhang Ying’s forces faced each other across the mist-shrouded, vast Huai River.

In the night-shrouded camp, clusters of bonfires flared. Soldiers sat around them drinking, eating meat, laughing and talking.

By the river sat Pei Xia, robed in white. Even in solitude his posture remained upright, his shoulders straight, bearing extraordinary grace.

When the Second Prince, Sima Jin, came seeking him, he saw that young gentleman by the river, like an immortal banished to the mortal realm. Moonlight and firelight interwove, falling across his sleeves, while he only sat quietly watching the flowing waves, his dark eyes distant and fathomless, impossible to read.

Sima Jin had not intended to disturb him, but after just a few steps, the man turned his head.

“Your Second Highness.” Pei Xia rose and saluted.

“Sit, sit.” Sima Jin quickly raised a hand. “There are no outsiders here, Shouzhen, no need for ceremony.”

Even so, Pei Xia still gave a formal bow, his face calm: “Did Your Highness come to me on some matter?”

“No urgent matter.” Sima Jin came forward. Born of the royal house, he carried a natural air of majesty, yet his gaze upon Pei Xia was warm. “I just didn’t see you in the tent. When I asked the deputy general, I learned you had come by the river.”

Reaching his side, he looked twice at the noble and upright man beside him, then asked softly: “Shouzhen, you seem to have something on your mind?”

Pei Xia’s thin lips pressed lightly together; he did not answer immediately. But beneath his wide sleeves, his long fingers unconsciously tightened, gripping the jade amulet in his palm all the harder.

After a moment, he said faintly: “I trouble Your Highness with needless concern. Perhaps the wine in the tent was too strong. I suddenly felt stifled and came out for some air.”

Hearing this, Sima Jin’s expression grew knowing: “I know Shouzhen is a gentleman of strict self-discipline and propriety. Perhaps you could not stomach the generals inside drinking and whoring, but soldiers lick blood from the blade by day. To indulge at night is only human.”

At the mention of the revels in the tent, Pei Xia’s dark brows faintly knit. But soon his face returned to its usual composure: “What Your Highness says, I understand.”

Sima Jin gave him a thoughtful look, just about to speak of court affairs, when suddenly a scout rushed up in haste: “Your Highness! Urgent dispatch, urgent dispatch!”

The messenger had ridden hard for days without pause, not even drinking a mouthful of water. He dropped to one knee and presented a letter before Sima Jin: “An urgent letter from Chang’an. Please read it at once.”

At such a moment, both men by the river stiffened.

Sima Jin tore open the letter. When he had read it, his thick brows knit into a dead knot.

Pei Xia called: “Your Highness?”

“The Yellow River has flooded. The dikes have burst, farmlands destroyed, refugees beyond count.” Sima Jin’s face grew solemn as he handed the letter to Pei Xia. “The Ministry of Revenue has already released ten thousand taels from the treasury for relief. But more will be needed to rebuild the dikes and restore the people’s livelihood. Thus military funds are tight. Royal Father commands we achieve a swift victory, there must be no further delay.”

As Pei Xia read the contents, his broad brow darkened as well.

“Royal Father is far away in Chang’an. He knows nothing of the situation at the front. Do you think we don’t want to win quickly? It is that old thief Zhang Ying, shut up in the city, like a turtle in its shell, dragging this out with us!”

At the mention of Zhang Ying, Sima Jin gnashed his teeth. But the city the old traitor occupied was easy to defend, hard to attack, with the Huai River as a natural barrier. They were truly helpless.

Unlike Sima Jin, Pei Xia’s eyes stayed fixed on the line: “Yellow River flood… refugees beyond count.” Again that suffocating tightness seized his chest.

“Shouzhen, why do you look so pale?” Sima Jin thought he was burdened by the command for a quick victory, and reassured him: “Though Royal Father orders speed, the army’s rations can still last half a month. If it comes to it, we can draw some from Jinling or Huguang. It will hold for a time.”

“Thank you for Your Highness’s concern. I am quite all right.”

Pei Xia smoothed his expression and bowed: “If there is nothing else, permit me to return to my tent and consider strategies.”

Sima Jin wanted to say there was no hurry, but seeing the depth in his eyes, he changed it to: “Very well, go on then.”

Pei Xia raised a hand in salute: “Your servant takes his leave.”

Watching that elegant figure depart, Sima Jin stood by the river with hands clasped behind his back, sighing inwardly. With such bearing, no wonder all the young ladies of Chang’an were smitten. Even his own sister kept his collected writings close, unable to let them go.

It was a pity the man already had a wife, fate had brought them near, but not together.

Inside the dark-blue tent, a single oil lamp lit half the desk.

The man before it held a brush. On the paper, vigorous characters already filled the page, dense with his worries and concern for the flood-stricken homeland.

The words were nearly complete, he could seal the letter.

Yet when his eyes fell upon the pure white jade amulet on the table, glowing faintly in the lamplight, he could not help but see again that flushed young face rushing to give it to him before he left home, as if it were yesterday.

Lowering his gaze, Pei Xia slowly wrote:

“Inquire after Yuniang’s well-being…”

A drop of ink suddenly fell onto the paper, landing precisely on the word “well-being”, smearing it.

Pei Xia’s brows twitched. His phoenix eyes narrowed slightly as he glanced at the jade pendant by his side.

If there had truly been a disaster, the river officials would have reported it at once to the authorities and the great clans. With her mother and clan relatives to look after her, she should be safe and sound.

Thinking this, he struck through the blurred line and set his brush again, 

“I wish you peace in all seasons, and that my wife’s adornments be tranquil.”