Shen Yujiao started slightly, her long lashes fluttering like butterfly wings. In her soft, hushed voice was a trace of shy color: “I thought Master was still busy in the front.”
“Being with you now is the foremost task.”
Carrying the child, Pei Xia came to the bedside. His calm eyes fixed on her face. From yesterday evening until now, she had slept nearly an entire day.
Likely because she had rested well and eaten a little, her complexion, though still wan and pale, was far better than yesterday’s bloodless, icy look. Most of all, the vivid spirit lingering between her brows and the clear brightness in her dark eyes brought peace to the heart.
Shen Yujiao felt somewhat uneasy under Pei Xia’s silent, steady gaze.
Was it her imagination? Why did it feel as if he was… different somehow?
From the words he had spoken when he first stepped out from behind the screen, to the way he now looked at her—so very different from before.
Could it be because she had gone through the ordeal of bearing his child?
Yes, quite likely.
After all, he had seen her yesterday in such a disheveled and pitiful state. Hearts are made of flesh—he, as her husband, would naturally feel some pity and tenderness.
Shen Yujiao reasoned it through in silence. Once she settled her thoughts, she lifted her face and, a little embarrassed, said, “Langjun should not look at me like that. My looks are haggard, and I’ve not yet dressed or combed my hair—unkempt and unsightly.”
“You walked through death’s gate only yesterday. That you are here now, safe and sound, is Heaven’s blessing—I cannot be thankful enough.”
His eyes remained fixed on hers, his thin lips curving with a gentle warmth. “Besides, my Yuniang is beautiful no matter what.”
At the words “my Yuniang,” her heart seemed to skip a beat.
His tone was warm as a spring breeze, yet the long narrow eyes that met hers seemed deeper and darker than usual, like an unfathomable whirlpool, carrying a force that tugged at her heart, making it tremble without reason.
“L-Langjun, today, you…” Her lips moved twice, but she didn’t know whether to call it “cloying” or “strange.”
Yet when it came to Pei Xia, anything cloying was, in itself, strange.
“What does Yuniang wish to say?”
“N-nothing.” Shen Yujiao shook her head quickly, hurriedly changing the subject: “Sit down first, holding the child like that must be tiring.”
“It’s fine. He isn’t heavy.”
“…”
Shen Yujiao was at a loss for words. Fortunately, Pei Xia did not press further, and sat by the bed with the child in his arms.
Her attention was drawn to the tiny swaddled bundle. Seeing he made no move to hand the baby to her, she leaned closer of her own accord, her loose black hair almost brushing into his arms.
At such nearness, Pei Xia’s nose was filled with her fragrance—an undertone of bitter mugwort, a faint plum-blossom freshness, and the jasmine blossom water she always used, all mingling into a scent that was hers alone.
“Langjun, turn a little this way.”
“Mm?”
“Bring the baby closer so I can see. Or else, let me hold him.” Shen Yujiao’s face showed her eagerness.
“You’ve only just given birth. Your strength hasn’t returned. Holding him might tire you.”
She lifted her eyes. “Didn’t you just say he wasn’t heavy?”
Pei Xia: “…”
After a pause, he said, “He isn’t heavy for me. For you, he would be.”
He moved the child closer to her. “Can you see clearly now?”
“Yes.” Shen Yujiao lowered her gaze, fixing on the peacefully sleeping infant. His tiny face was no larger than her fist. His eyes, closed, were two fine slits; his nose and mouth small as could be. Everything about him was small, so rare and precious it made the heart ache.
Such a tiny little person, and he had come from her belly.
It was truly incredible.
Her slender fingertip lightly brushed his cheek—soft, warm, like tender, fragile white tofu.
And suddenly she remembered the summer of last year, when, in a quiet moment, she had gazed at and caressed another infant in just this way.
Though she had always treated Ping’an as her own child, back then what she felt was more duty than anything else. But with this child, from the very first sight, her heart surged with a fierce and utterly new love.
She thought—this must be what they call a mother’s love.
That deepest bond between mother and child, free of gain or repayment. Everything, all of it, only for the child’s well-being.
“Only after raising children does one know a parent’s kindness.” At this moment, Shen Yujiao understood the words more deeply than ever, and she missed her parents far away in Lingnan all the more.
Seeing her dazed, her eyes misted with tears, Pei Xia furrowed his brow. “What’s wrong?”
“N-nothing…” Shen Yujiao sniffled, forcing a smile tinged with bitterness. “I just suddenly thought of my father and mother. If they were in Chang’an, seeing the child born safe and sound, they would surely be overjoyed.”
“They are his grandparents. Of course they would dote on him.”
Looking at his wife’s pale face, the tip of her nose tinged red, her long lashes beaded with crystalline tears, so delicate and pitiable—like a willow in the wind—Pei Xia could not help but sigh softly. With two long fingers, he brushed away her tears. “You’ve just given birth. The physician warned you must rest quietly in bed, and above all, avoid sorrow and weeping.”
Shen Yujiao knew this well, but perhaps from weakness after childbirth, her emotions had become fragile, slipping beyond control.
Normally, she was not one to cry so easily.
“Don’t worry, Langjun. I’ll be fine in a little while.” Her voice was muffled, soft. “Besides, I’m a mother now. I shouldn’t be crying in front of the child.”
“And what of it, if you are a mother?”
Pei Xia lowered his eyes to her. “In my eyes, you’ve always been a little girl.”
Shen Yujiao froze, her tear-bright black eyes widening in astonishment at the man before her.
“Did I say anything wrong? You really are younger than me.”
Pei Xia carried himself with composure. Without waiting for her reply, he went on in all seriousness: “Besides, you need not worry. In just a few days it will be the Spring Examinations. Once I win first place on the gold list, that will be the day they return to the capital to reunite with you.”
The calmest tone spoke the most “conceited” words, yet when they came from Pei Shouzhen’s mouth, they did not cause dislike but instead made one believe without doubt.
He was Pei Shouzhen—so he could do it.
“Very well, I’ll await Langjun’s good news.”
Shen Yujiao broke into a smile through her tears, then suddenly thought of something: “Yesterday my waters broke suddenly, the servants went to the clan uncle’s residence to fetch you. Did that delay Fourth Young Master’s capping ceremony?”
Pei Xia chuckled, surprised she was still worrying over that now. He squeezed her hand: “When the servants came to fetch me, the ceremony was already more than halfway done. The rest was handed over to the Minister of Rites to complete. There was no delay.”
“That’s good.” Shen Yujiao let out a breath. Looking down at the quiet infant in swaddling, she felt both helpless and tender: “This little fellow truly knows how to pick a time—neither early nor late, but just had to choose yesterday of all days…”
As she spoke, her words trailed off. Unbidden, her thoughts drifted to another uninvited guest who had also “chosen neither early nor late, but exactly the time when Pei Xia was not home.”
She hesitated for two breaths, but in the end couldn’t hold back from asking: “I heard… you let Xie Wuling stay overnight in the manor?”
The hand holding hers suddenly stilled.
Shen Yujiao’s lashes trembled, her heart fluttered with guilt. She tried to withdraw her hand: “Langjun…”
But the fingertips that slipped free were caught back again. Pei Xia’s expression was cool, his voice faintly indifferent: “Yes. Yesterday he was also waiting outside the birthing room. It was already late, so I let him stay the night.”
Shen Yujiao pressed her lips together, chose her words with care before speaking: “Yesterday he came to bid farewell, and even brought gifts. Since you happened to be at your clan uncle’s, and considering we had once been acquainted—he came specially to call, so he could be regarded as a guest…”
“The servants already reported all of this to me yesterday.”
“Oh… then… that’s good.” Shen Yujiao fell silent for two breaths before continuing: “Yesterday’s incident came so suddenly, and that man has never had much regard for rules. If he behaved rudely, it was only out of concern. Langjun, you are magnanimous—don’t take it to heart with him…”
“Yuniang.”
The man’s somewhat cold voice cut her off. Meeting her flickering dark eyes, Pei Xia’s expression was steady: “For the sake of the Pei family, you suffered to give birth to a legitimate son. Naturally, I respect you, love you. Those past trivialities are unimportant. What matters is that from now on—you, me, and our child—our family of three will not be disturbed by outsiders, but live a calm and peaceful life.”
Though his words were spoken with his usual serenity, Shen Yujiao caught a trace of something different in his deep gaze.
Instinct told her he was displeased.
And of course—what man could tolerate another entering his halls, even carrying his wife into the birthing chamber?
It was only because Pei Xia’s mind was broad and generous, clear as the moon. If it were another man, she and Xie Wuling would likely already have been thrown into prison, waiting to be drowned.
As Shen Yujiao’s feelings tangled, a sudden commotion rose outside the courtyard—
“Jiaojiao!”
“Hey, don’t block me…”
“Just one look, let me take just one look… Don’t raise your hand! I never lay hands on women!”
Speak of the devil, and the devil arrives.
The noise outside seeped in faintly. Inside, the husband and wife fell into a strange silence.
At last, Pei Xia broke the frozen stillness. He held Shen Yujiao’s hand: “Yuniang, do you wish to see him?”
His even voice betrayed no emotion.
Shen Yujiao’s throat felt tight, her lips moved: “I…”
His grip tightened slightly. She lifted her eyes and met Pei Xia’s unwavering gaze.
He looked into her eyes, and asked again, enunciating each word: “Do you wish to see him?”
Shen Yujiao’s heart gave a sudden tremor.
Was it just the light? How had she never noticed before—Pei Xia’s pupils were so dark, so dense.
Black as if no light could enter, like an ancient well without ripples, bottomless, inexplicably stirring a chill within her.
“No.”
Shen Yujiao lowered her lashes. Her soft voice was tinged with rasp: “This is the inner quarters, and I am still in confinement. It is not proper to receive guests.”
Pei Xia studied her lowered eyes, delicate brows misted with sorrow, for a long while before finally smiling: “Good.”
He gently placed the embroidered swaddling bundle beside her pillow: “Rest here with the child. I will go see the guest off, and return in a moment.”
Shen Yujiao lifted her eyes to glance at him. In the dim light, she could see only half his profile—cold and pale as jade, without ripple, without wave.
—
“How unreasonable you are! The doctor already instructed that my lady needs peace and rest! Your loud racket only disturbs her recovery. If word spreads, it will tarnish my lady’s reputation all the more!”
Qiao Momo had been resting in the side room. Hearing the maid report that this scoundrel had come again, she hadn’t even bothered to put on her socks—just shoved her feet into shoes and rushed out.
The maids in the courtyard were young and timid, no match at all for this rogue. Only she, with her old face cast aside, could manage to block him somewhat.
“How am I unreasonable? I knew your master was here, so I came to visit her.”
Xie Wuling’s thick brows drew together. Faint dark shadows still lingered under his eyes.
Although he knew Shen Yujiao was already out of danger, without seeing her with his own eyes his heart could not settle.
The whole of last night he tossed and turned, unable to sleep. Only toward morning did he doze off a little, and in his dreams he saw Shen Yujiao hemorrhaging, the physician with a mournful face saying there was nothing to be done. He woke with a start, wiping his face to find it drenched in cold sweat, his heart pounding as if it might burst from his chest.
So the moment he heard from a servant that Shen Yujiao had awakened, he rushed over in haste.
“Old Auntie, please, be kind—go in and pass a message for me?”
As Xie Wuling spoke, he reached into the pouch at his waist, pulled out two bits of broken silver, and tried to stuff them into Qiao Momo’s hand.
Qiao Momo’s face darkened at once. What did this lecher take her for?
She was just about to snap back when a clear, cool voice sounded from behind: “No need to trouble Momo to pass any message.”
Both at the doorway were taken aback. Turning, they saw Pei Xia descending the steps in long robes, walking slowly toward them.
“Master.” Qiao Momo quickly suppressed her anger and bowed respectfully to him.
“Pei Shouzhen, you’ve come out just in time!” Xie Wuling called. “This old woman really has no sense of courtesy. I’ve pleaded with her in every way, and she still refuses to carry a word for me.”
“Hey—you!” Qiao Momo fumed. “How dare you lodge the complaint first—”
Pei Xia gave her a glance. “Momo, return to your room and rest.”
Qiao Momo choked back her words. She wanted to say more, but seeing the master’s expression—brooking no debate—she lowered her head. “Yes.”
She turned back toward the side room. After a few steps, she still glanced back, frowning at Xie Wuling as though looking at a bringer of calamity.
Xie Wuling narrowed his eyes. “That old woman…”
If not for her being Jiaojiao’s wet nurse, he might really have bullied the weak and the old.
Standing at the threshold between them, Pei Xia halted, his manner cold and detached: “Yuniang has said—she will not see you. While the day is still bright, Young Lord Xie should best take his leave.”
The careless look on Xie Wuling’s face froze at once, the curve at his thin lips stiffening. “Jiaojiao said… she won’t see me?”
Pei Xia: “Mm.”
Xie Wuling: “I don’t believe it.”
Pei Xia: “…”
“Who knows if you’re just saying one thing and doing another, taking advantage of Jiaojiao’s weakness after childbirth to deliberately sow discord?”
Xie Wuling frowned. “Unless you let Jiaojiao tell me herself.”
Pei Xia’s gaze chilled, slanting toward him. “And what sense is there in such pestering?”
Hearing this, Xie Wuling’s eyes carried a trace of scrutiny as he met the other man’s stare without the least timidity. “So—that’s it, no more pretense?”
“Think whatever you like. In any case, it was Yuniang who just now said, with her own lips, that she would not see you.”
Pausing, Pei Xia looked at him, thoughtful. “Xie Wuling, you are a clever man. You should understand what it means to quit while ahead, to stop where it is fitting.”
Xie Wuling’s eyes flickered rapidly, the fist at his robe hem tightening. He gave a cold laugh: “Pei the great gentleman’s praise—I don’t dare accept. You tell me to quit while ahead, to stop where fitting—then let me return you a line: a broken mirror cannot be made whole, spilt water cannot be gathered up, and a melon twisted off by force will never be sweet!”
At those words, Pei Xia’s dark eyes iced over, the long fingers clasped behind his back also clenching tight. “Xie Wuling—don’t go too far.”
“I’m the one going too far? Ha—who was it went too far first? If not for you leaning on power to tear Jiaojiao from my side, she and I would already have been man and wife, bound as one. When she gave birth, I would have been at her side without leaving, protecting her. But you? Knowing Jiaojiao was about to deliver, you still left her alone in the manor! If I hadn’t happened to come yesterday, she might well have been ruined by that d*mned Momo, who would have chosen the child over the mother, making her a discarded sacrifice! Where do you find the face to tell me not to go too far?”
As he spoke, the fire in Xie Wuling’s chest surged again. His eyes blazed as he glared at Pei Xia: “You should be grateful Jiaojiao came through safely yesterday. Had anything happened to her—Pei Shouzhen, I tell you—between you and me, it would be life and death, without end!”
Pei Xia’s long fingers tightened still further, the knuckles blanching. He drew a long breath, forcing down the violent urge within.
“Yesterday’s matter… was indeed my oversight.”
Pei Xia looked at him. “Both Yuniang and I are grateful to you.”
Xie Wuling started, then snorted. “Who wants your gratitude?”
Pei Xia had no wish to quarrel further. He only said: “Yuniang only just awoke, her body is still weak. Do you really mean to stand here bickering with me, disturbing her rest?”
“I…”
Xie Wuling glanced toward the half-open lattice window, his thin lips pressed tight. “I only want to see her once. If she is safe and sound, I can leave Chang’an in peace.”
“She has said—she will not see you.”
Pei Xia’s voice dropped low and cold. “Xie Wuling—rumors and gossip can kill.”
How could Xie Wuling not understand this?
The very reason he brought gifts yesterday was to create a cover for her reputation. But what followed, none had expected, and he himself had been thrown into disorder by worry.
Now that Jiaojiao did not wish to see him…
Enough. He could not make things harder for her.
“It was I who was discourteous just now.”
Xie Wuling’s broad chest heaved sharply. He drew up a cold, stiff smile at the corner of his lips. “Since Madam is unharmed, then I will not disturb further. I take my leave.”
Pei Xia saw him relent, cast him a long, meaningful glance, then raised a hand. “I’ll see you out.”
Xie Wuling furrowed his brows. Pei Xia said, neither warm nor cold: “Since he is an ‘old acquaintance of deep ties,’ we must at least show the courtesy due a host.”
Putting on a show, then doing the whole set.
Xie Wuling’s long, narrow eyes lifted slightly at the corners, but he did not refuse. “Then I’ll trouble Sir Pei the Gentleman.”
The cypress trees loomed dense in the courtyard, spring air vibrant and lush.
The two men, one ahead and one behind, went from the rear court to the front hall, both with stiff faces, not a word spoken, the atmosphere tense as the killing chill of deep winter.
Not until they reached the main gate did Xie Wuling turn back. “That’s far enough.”
Pei Xia: “Mm.”
Xie Wuling lifted a step to leave, but suddenly thought of something, frowning. “Yesterday, that Momo—how do you plan to deal with her?”
Pei Xia: “She was sent from the palace.”
“I know.” Xie Wuling mused, “But I feel there’s something wrong with her. Yesterday that other midwife, since she could tell me that Doctor Lin and Lin Little Hand could save lives, she must have mentioned it to that d*mned Momo as well. Yet that d*mned Momo still insisted on using inducing medicine, forcing my… madam into danger.”
He thought for a moment, then recounted a few details from yesterday. Seeing Pei Xia’s expression grow colder still, Xie Wuling knew he had gotten through. “Pei Shouzhen, you’d better interrogate that old hag properly! If you’re worried about palace blame, then let me do it!”
In idle times at the barracks, he had learned a few methods of interrogation—cutting off fingers, severing tendons—such things were nothing to him.
“This concerns my wife and child. I will see it through to the end myself. I need no trouble from you.”
Pei Xia’s voice was faint. He then recalled something, his gaze sweeping over Xie Wuling’s body.
Xie Wuling felt puzzled under his stare, frowning. “What are you looking at me like that for!”
Pei Xia said: “You saved the Third Prince in the street, and he gave you not the slightest reward?”
So that’s what he was asking.
Xie Wuling shrugged, careless. “I doubt that has anything to do with Lord Pei the Gentleman. Best you sort out the matters of your own household first!”
With that, he cupped his hands, turned, and left.
Watching that swaggering figure depart, Pei Xia’s thin lips sank a fraction. Then he lifted his hand, lightly brushing at his spotless sleeve, and turned back inside.
—
Within a single day, the news of Shen Yujiao’s safe delivery spread like wildfire through every great household of Chang’an, and even into the crimson-walled depths of the palace.
“This is truly good news!”
Inside Xianling Palace, Consort Xian, upon hearing the glad tidings, had joy light up her brows and eyes. Holding the smooth, red-hued string of carnelian beads in her palm, she said warmly to the Momo at her side: “Last time I saw her belly, pointed as it was, I thought for sure it must be a boy. See? I judged it right, didn’t I?”
The Momo smiled in agreement. “Niang Niang’s eyes are like torches.”
“She is fortunate, too, and bound by fate with this child. Otherwise, what delicate young noblewoman, after suffering such hardships and torments, could still keep the fetus safe?”
Consort Xian laughed softly. “Now she has borne a son, the Pei family’s legitimate eldest grandson. Her seat as the household’s principal wife is all the more secure.”
As she spoke, she waved her hand. “Quickly, fetch some nourishing tonics from the stores, also bring out eight bolts of fine tribute silk—choose the softer ones, bright in color, suitable for a young boy’s clothes. Oh yes, I recall in my private treasury there’s still a pure gold longevity lock inlaid with pearl and glass beads. Take that out as well, and send it all to the Pei residence.”
The Momo was startled. “Niang Niang, that longevity lock was what the Empress Dowager rewarded you with when you bore the Second Prince.”
“What of it?” Thinking of past years, Consort Xian’s gaze drifted for two breaths, and she sighed. “The craftsmanship of that longevity lock is exquisite, the jewels splendid. To keep it pressed at the bottom of a chest is a pity. Since Jing’er had no fate to wear it when young, let the Pei family’s boy wear it.”
The Momo said: “Niang Niang treats this Madam Pei truly well.”
Consort Xian’s eyes curved. “What can I say? She is my recognized goddaughter, and her child must call me god-grandmother in the future.”
The mistress and servant exchanged a few more words of laughter before the Momo left to draft the gift list and prepare the congratulatory offerings.
By the hour of Shen, Consort Xian looked over the gift list once, nodded. “Send it off. And on the way, bring Huang Momo back.”
At the mention of Huang Momo, Consort Xian’s brows furrowed, displeasure flashing. “I must ask her myself—yesterday the child was already born, yet she did not report the joyous news at once? Has life outside the palace grown so comfortable that she’s forgotten her duties?”
The chief eunuch received the order, and at once took the gifts, hurrying out while the palace gates were still open, straight toward the Pei residence in Yongning Ward.
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