That night, Shen Yujiao tossed and turned, unable to sleep.
At last she endured until daybreak, but before the two guards returned, it was Abbess Jingci who arrived.
“Benefactor Shen, refugees from other counties are already flooding toward the city below. If you delay further and the city defense shuts the gates, you may not be able to enter at all.”
Abbess Jingci held her old prayer beads, pointing to a broad-shouldered, sturdy middle-aged nun behind her: “Zhixian can drive a carriage and knows some boxing skills. I’ll have her and Sixian escort you back to your residence. If your guards come looking, I’ll tell them to follow after you.”
Though the flood had not yet reached Wenxi, if refugees rushed into the city, panic among the populace would surely follow, and it would not be impossible for the gates to be closed.
Shen Yujiao also knew the urgency of the situation. Without fussing over formalities, she bowed to the abbess: “I must trouble you, Abbess.”
Abbess Jingci pressed her palms together: “May the Buddha bless Benefactor Shen and your household with safety and peace.”
Eight days earlier, when coming from the Pei residence, they had traveled in three carriages, all in good order.
Eight days later, Shen Yujiao and four maids crowded into one carriage, fleeing in haste.
Zhixian and Sixian took the reins, one to drive, one to watch the road, each carrying a hidden weapon, a hatchet and an iron staff. After all, it was a carriage full of women; should they meet refugees with ill intent, they needed at least some defense.
The mountain roads had been soaked by days of rain, turned muddy and treacherous. Traveling in such weather was already difficult; now with the poor road conditions, the carriage jolted all the more violently.
One maid, unable to endure the jolting, clutched her chest, leaned out over the side, and vomited heavily.
When she sat back inside, her face was pale as paper. Shrinking in fear, she glanced at Shen Yujiao: “My lady, this servant was discourteous…”
Shen Yujiao’s own chest felt tight and nauseous as well, but seeing the maid’s anxious look, she forced a reassuring smile: “It’s fine.”
After nearly an hour of bumping along the rough mountain road, little master Sixian’s voice came from outside: “Benefactor Shen, we’ve reached the official road now. It won’t jolt so much from here on.”
Shen Yujiao’s taut nerves loosened a little. The maids also secretly exhaled, each thinking that soon they would be home, and once back at the estate, all would be well.
But this thought had barely arisen when the carriage suddenly lurched,
“Ah!!”
Inside, the women cried out as they were thrown this way and that.
Shen Yujiao nearly struck her head against the carriage wall, but Bai Ping caught her in time: “My lady, are you alright?”
“I’m fine.” Shen Yujiao steadied her hair and asked toward the outside: “What happened?”
Sixian lifted the curtain, poked in her shaven head, and said gloomily: “Most likely from all that bumping just now, the axle broke.”
At these words, the maids inside were all thrown into panic.
“What do we do?”
“Why break now of all times, not sooner or later, but just now!”
“Dragon King above, could you not show some mercy and stop the rain for once?”
Anxiety spread through the carriage. Shen Yujiao thought to herself, this must be the very definition of misfortune piling on misfortune. But since things were as they were, complaints were useless. She looked to Sixian: “Can you and Master Zhixian repair an axle? If not, we can only abandon the carriage and walk back to the city.”
Walk back?
It was often said servant girls from great households were not as hardy as those of humble families. Though maids of the Pei house were technically servants, those who waited at their mistress’s side were first-class, adorned in gold and silver, never having known hardship.
Now, hearing their lady’s words, all the maids gasped in dismay. Thirty li on foot!
Wouldn’t that take from morning until night? Their toes would surely blister and bleed!
All four turned expectant eyes to Sixian. The young nun spread her hands awkwardly: “Senior Sister Zhixian can drive and chop wood, but as for repairing an axle… that she really doesn’t know.”
“Then what do we do?” Lu Tan pulled a long face. “Are we truly to walk back? We won’t even reach home before our legs break.”
Shen Yujiao knew walking back would be hard, but given the situation, the only other choice,
Have Zhixian return to the mountain and fetch another carriage. But going and coming would take at least two and a half hours. Then another two hours to reach the city from here…
With all that, it would be faster to abandon the carriage and walk.
“Natural disaster waits for no one. If we delay further and cannot return to the city before nightfall, that will be the real trouble.”
So saying, Shen Yujiao was the first to climb out of the carriage. She turned to Sixian: “Please bring me a bamboo hat and rain cloak.”
Sixian froze for a moment, then answered crisply: “Yes.”
She jumped down and quickly fetched the rain gear from behind the carriage.
Shen Yujiao thanked her and put it on herself.
Seeing their mistress fully dressed in rain gear, clearly resolved to walk back, the maids dared not linger inside. If they stayed, it would make them seem more delicate than their own mistress. One by one, they descended.
Only Lu Tan dawdled, unwilling to step down.
Bai Ping urged her softly, “Lu Tan, hurry.”
Lu Tan looked at Bai Ping’s embroidered shoes, instantly stained with mud upon touching the ground. Her naturally fastidious nature made her scalp crawl with disgust. She snapped: “Don’t rush me!”
By now Shen Yujiao was dressed completely. The wide bamboo hat and cloak covered her tightly, leaving only a pair of clear eyes shining even in the dim light.
She knew that, being gentle in the household, she had indulged these maids too much, allowing them to treat her like a soft clay figure to be pinched at will.
Drawing a deep breath, she said, “I will count to ten. Any who still delay will stay in the carriage, they need not return to the estate at all.”
“My, my lady!” Lu Tan gasped.
“Ten…”
“Nine…”
“Eight…”
The woman’s usually gentle voice now carried a chill like the rain itself. When her eyes, dark and unwavering, locked onto her, Lu Tan’s heart trembled. No longer daring to delay, she gritted her teeth and climbed down from the carriage.
Seeing the last maid finally alight, Shen Yujiao let out a secret sigh of relief. She was just about to give instructions to the two young nuns when a rapid clatter of hooves suddenly came from ahead.
Through the vast curtain of rain and mist, two riders emerged.
As they drew near, everyone recognized the livery of the Pei household. Bai Ping exclaimed with joy, “It’s Guard Chen and Guard Li, they’ve returned!”
The two guards quickly spotted the women by the roadside. Dismounting, they knelt together before Shen Yujiao. “Your servant is late, please forgive us, my lady.”
Shen Yujiao lifted her hand. “Both of you, rise.”
Looking more closely, she noticed that among the two, one face was unfamiliar, certainly not the Guard Li who had always been at her side.
Seeing her doubt, the unfamiliar guard said, “This subordinate is Sun Ming. Guard Li ate something bad last night and was stricken with stomach pains. I was sent in his place to fetch my lady.”
Shen Yujiao nodded in sudden understanding and asked no more. She quickly explained about the broken carriage axle.
Guard Chen thought briefly, then said, “At present, the only way is for my lady to wait here a while. I will ride back up the mountain to bring another carriage.”
A carriage would be far better than walking. Besides, with guards now here to watch over them, a little more waiting was of no great concern.
Shen Yujiao was about to agree, but the other guard, Sun, interjected: “Before I left, the second and third branches’ caravans for Luoyang were already assembled, waiting only for my lady. In my view, since you’ve already put on a rain hat and cloak, it would be best if you rode back with me. It would save the most time.”
His words were not without reason, horseback was always faster than a carriage.
But what of the maids…?
Shen Yujiao glanced over them. Bai Ping, understanding her mistress’s kind heart, quickly said: “My lady, do not worry about us. With Guard Li here, it matters not if we return later. But you, please don’t miss the caravan to Luoyang.”
The mistress of the household had already been reduced to traveling with concubines and illegitimate daughters. If she missed this chance, she might truly be abandoned in Wenxi, forgotten by all.
Shen Yujiao knew she could not keep the household waiting. Seeing another bank of dark clouds massing in the distance, she gritted her teeth. “In urgent times, one must adapt. So be it.”
In this dynasty, though civil virtues were prized, martial skills were also valued, and noblewomen of Chang’an were mostly adept at riding.
After giving instructions to the two nuns and Guard Li, Shen Yujiao mounted Guard Li’s chestnut horse and departed with Guard Sun.
Amid the driving storm, the two figures shot forward like arrows loosed from the string, soon swallowed by the sheets of rain.
—
The rain lashed down like whips, drumming violently on the bamboo hat.
After about the time it takes to burn one stick of incense, Shen Yujiao began to sense something amiss. She tightened the reins, frowning toward the dense forest ahead. “Guard Sun, have you lost the way? This doesn’t look like the road back to the city.”
Guard Sun said nothing. Instead, he reined in his horse and turned toward her, eyes dark and complicated.
Though blurred by the rain, Shen Yujiao still caught the strange look in his silence.
A stormy wilderness. One man, one woman. And the man bore a blade…
A chill of fear and disbelief gripped her. The Pei guards were all household-born retainers; their families had served the Peis for generations, their wives and children’s lives all bound to the clan’s fate. If even one betrayed, his entire family would be implicated,
Never had Shen Yujiao imagined that a Pei guard would dare commit such treachery!
“Guard Sun, what is the meaning of this?” Her pale fingers clenched the reins tight as she forced calm into her voice, her clear eyes fixed upon him. “I am the principal wife of the Pei clan. How dare you!”
His brows knitted, his voice rough. “My lady, I mean you no offense. But I have no choice, I act under orders.”
After a pause, he drew a dagger from his boot and urged his horse close. “Better for you to dismount and end it yourself, than for me to do it and stain your hands.”
Her face changed at his words. Staring at the dagger in his hand, she demanded in shock, “Acting under orders? Whose orders?”
Guard Sun turned his head, avoiding her stricken gaze. In a low voice he said, “At this point, what use is it to ask? All you need know is that someone in the Pei household wants you dead. Even if I spare you today, returning to the estate will bring you no better fate.”
At the sudden pallor of her face beneath the rain hat, Guard Sun’s heart softened. With a sigh, he tried to persuade her: “You are learned, you should know the saying: when virtue does not match one’s station, disaster must follow. Your seat as principal wife, how many eyes has it offended, both openly and in secret?”
When virtue does not match one’s station, disaster must follow.
Those words struck her like a heavy blow, hammering against her heart,
She had always known, as the daughter of a disgraced minister, that marrying into the Pei clan was reaching too high. She thought by being humble, tolerant, virtuous, and magnanimous, she could carve out a place for herself.
Never had she imagined that the Peis hated her so bitterly, saw her as a thorn in the eye, a spike in the flesh, that they would rather see her dead!
“My lady, do not hate me. If you must hate, then…” Sun, knowing her tragic background, sighed again. “Hate the heavens for being blind, for letting your family fall and leaving you with no one to rely on…”
Still stunned by the revelation that someone in the Pei family wanted her dead, Shen Yujiao remained frozen, unable to react.
Guard Sun waited patiently for some time. As the rain grew heavier, at last he could bear it no longer. “Forgive my offense,” he said, and yanked her down from the horse.
Caught unprepared, Shen Yujiao nearly fell into the mud. Her rain hat tumbled to the ground with a plop.
Without its cover, her hair came undone. The icy rain lashed her pale face, making her appear all the more pitiful.
Guard Sun had already drawn the dagger and was walking toward her. “Since you cannot do it yourself, allow me to send you on your way.”
The sharp dagger gleamed with a cold white light in the rain. Shen Yujiao instinctively took a step back.
But only a single step.
Reason told her that, in this situation, it was utterly impossible to escape from the hands of a guard skilled in martial arts.
Yet years of upbringing and dignity kept her from lowering herself to kneel and beg for mercy.
Countless emotions surged within her chest, and just as that sharp blade was about to press against her neck, she clenched her fingers tightly, lifted her chin, and fixed her gaze with firmness:
“Death I do not fear. But at least let me die knowing, who is it that wants me dead!”
Even with her hair and face disheveled by the rain, the unyielding strength between her gentle brows made Guard Sun’s heart tremble.
A weak woman with no strength to truss a chicken, yet facing the tip of a blade, she carried such calm composure.
All the more so, she was so innocent, so kind, so gentle.
Just earlier, when parting at the hilltop, she had not forgotten to instruct Guard Li to take good care of the servant girls. Even toward the two little nuns, she had been courteous and respectful, without the least hint of condescension.
And then, compared to that Third Niangzi back at the manor, heart like a viper, arrogant and willful…
Why should the good meet with such tragic deaths, while the wicked live carefree and at ease?
Staring at the slender neck before him, so close at hand, Guard Sun ground his teeth, wavering again and again, until at last, the hand that held the dagger fell.
“Niangzi, go.”
Shen Yujiao could feel the cold sting of the blade’s tip grazing her skin. Suddenly hearing these words, it was as if she were in a dream.
“You… you’re willing to let me go?”
“Though I am but a servant, I can still tell right from wrong, good from evil.”
Guard Sun’s expression was stern. He stepped back two paces and gave Shen Yujiao a bow: “I may not kill you, but you cannot return to the Pei manor.”
Shen Yujiao’s eyes flickered sharply as she looked at the armed guard who, a moment ago, had tried to kill her, yet now bowed before her.
After a few breaths of silence, she spoke hoarsely: “I understand. Since you are willing to spare my life, I will not repay kindness with betrayal and ruin your chance of reporting back. Besides…”
Her rain-chilled lips twisted into a bitter smile. “Now that I know someone in the manor does not tolerate me, if I return, would I not be walking into the net myself?”
With Pei Xia not at home, could she really expect Madam Wang to shield her?
It might even be that the one who wanted her dead, was Madam Wang.
The thought arose, and the more she considered it, the more plausible it seemed. After all, not long ago Guard Li had said it was by Madam Wang’s order that they came today.
Yes.
In the entire Pei family, who else could command the guards so? Who else could resent her more for taking the position of principal wife?
Realization struck, and a bone-deep chill seeped through Shen Yujiao’s body and soul, freezing her to the marrow.
A legitimate daughter of the great Wang clan of Langya, wife of the Pei family, raised from childhood in poetry and ritual, yet how could she be so petty, so base?
So this is what a so-called daughter of the Wang clan amounts to!
Shen Yujiao grieved for herself, to have such a mother-in-law, and grieved for Pei Xia, to be born of such a woman. In her despair, a sudden crack of thunder rolled across the sky.
She startled, and the horse reared with a whinny.
“Before night falls, Lady, flee quickly.”
Guard Sun handed her the dagger: “Take this with you. You may find use for it.”
Shen Yujiao looked at the dagger and asked him, “Was it Madam who sent you to kill me?”
Guard Sun flinched but dared not answer. He only averted his gaze. “Lady, do not ask. Unless you can find your Langjun to protect you, even if you know, there is nothing you can do against her.”
His betrothed still served at Third Niangzi’s side.
And though he doubted that, in this chaotic world, how could a weak woman like Shen Yujiao make it out of the forest alive, much less survive until Pei Xia’s return. But what if Heaven showed mercy, what if fate spared her, what if she came back someday?
When that time came, if Third Niangzi learned it was he who betrayed her, such a venomous woman would never spare him nor Qiu Man.
With this thought, Guard Sun steeled himself, shoved the dagger into Shen Yujiao’s hand: “Only when you can protect yourself should you think on these things again.”
With that, he turned, drew his blade, and stabbed Guard Li’s horse twice.
“Neigh, !”
Blood spurted, splattering Guard Sun all over, and the horse shrieked and bolted into the distance.
Before Shen Yujiao could even react to the bloody scene, Guard Sun mounted his own horse, clasped his hands in salute, and said: “Take care, my Lady. May you live to see your Langjun return safely.”
The vast world, the torrential rain, thunder and lightning all around.
Penniless, Shen Yujiao stood clutching the dagger, staring at the departing figure. A loneliness and helplessness unlike anything she had ever felt surged through her entire being.
The sad thing was, she did not even know where to begin to cry.
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